And They Had a Great Fall

Chapter Five

chapter five

K at opened her eyes and squinted at the light beaming through the skylight. She sat up and scanned the room to reorient herself. Yesterday was nothing if not surreal, with a very long flight followed by hours of conversation with a man she had barely seen in over a year. When she’d crashed into his bed, she’d been so disoriented she’d felt like she was having an out-of-body experience, both from the drain of very little sleep and the intensity of Jake. She could feel his anxiety—it vibrated off him like a flickering lightbulb about to blow. It was a higher intensity than she expected. She’d seen his constant undercurrent of unrest during the pandemic, but this was something else. Fear? Maybe it is fear … maybe more , she thought.

She got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to find Jake sitting at the table reading over his script, coffee in hand. He was wearing glasses, and Kat cocked her head as she looked at him. She didn’t realize he wore glasses. This was the first morning they’d spent together. In all their times together, Jake had never spent the night. She couldn’t imagine letting him in the same bed she’d shared with Ben. The same bed Becca snuck into nearly every night. For a minute, she registered how much she didn’t know about him. How much they didn’t know about each other.

When Jake saw her, he jumped up and began pulling levers and pushing buttons on his Breville. She was humored that he had no real food in the apartment but managed to have the fanciest coffee machine she’d ever seen. “Latte?” he asked, which was her favorite morning coffee. She was surprised he remembered, because she rarely drank them at home. Unlike him, she did not make fancy coffee at home, preferring her quick, efficient Keurig.

“Usually, but not today,” she said. “Can that fancy machine make an Americano with two shots of espresso?” She needed a jolt this morning. The jet lag plus the wine last night were making her brain fuzzy.

He chuckled. “Damn. You mean business.” He put a cup under the coffee spout.

She pulled her phone off the charger and checked her text messages. Two were from Emily. On a Saturday, this couldn’t be good. Checking the time, she did some quick math. She’d slept late, and it was past 11:00 a.m. in Copenhagen. That would be about 5:00 a.m. in New York. Emily was always up early. She texted Emily to let her know she was available to talk and then popped in her AirPods.

Emily called right away. Her perpetually perky voice burst on the call as soon as Kat swiped to answer. “Hey, sorry, this will be fast.” she said. “I didn’t know if this warranted calling you, but I thought you’d want to know just in case. Oh, and good morning!”

Jake walked over to Kat and handed her the cup of coffee. “Hey, I made sure I had oat milk and that sugar you like.” He handed her a small carton, container of sugar, and a spoon.

She nodded silently poured the milk in her cup. If she wasn’t on the phone, she probably would’ve hugged him. Given how few supplies were in the apartment, it occurred to her most of his “food” had been purchased for her. She grabbed the cup and took a sip, thankful for the caffeine about to course through her veins. She put her fingers on her lips, motioning for him to be quiet. She was not on mute and knew that Emily had heard. She turned around to look out the window.

Emily interjected, “Hey! I heard that. Who was that?” When Kat didn’t say anything, Emily insisted, “Oh, is that mystery pronoun?”

Kat feigned ignorance. “Oh, I didn’t know what you were asking. It’s the barista. I’m picking up coffee.”

Emily let out a loud laugh. “Oh, okay … right … you aren’t going to tell me. That’s fine.”

“So, Emily, what’s up?” Kat asked, refocusing her. Emily brought Kat up to speed regarding an issue that could throw a wrench into their launch plans. The stickers they used to seal the individual boxes that held the devices were faulty, and boxes were popping open during shipping.

The PVA was a premium technology device, and they couldn’t have boxes popping open at will. At the minimum, it would look cheap; at the max, the device could fall out and be damaged in transit. It wasn’t an insurmountable issue, but one that had a level of urgency that warranted a live conversation, even on a Saturday. They had to avoid any delays that would affect the launch date, which was already promised to the board. Emily was right to call her.

Kat grabbed her laptop and sat down at the kitchen counter. She opened it and started reviewing a document Emily had sent her with shipment dates and units. “Are they all faulty or just a percentage?” she asked, her voice sounding as stressed as she was starting to feel.

“It looks like about fifty-three percent of the boxes are sealed with the new stickers, which are not consistently sticking,” Emily said. “We have confirmed the manufacturing lines for the devices produced last month used the old stickers, for the most part. I’m still confirming, but I think those should be fine.”

“Okay, I need you to get the number of units with the functioning sticker solidified by Monday. I’ll figure out the projected orders in the pre-launch markets so we can understand how many units they’ll need. If we have enough available units, they will still make their shipping dates and have enough in-store inventory at launch.”

“I’m waiting on shipment dates for a new group of stickers with the proper sealant. If they get here in under a week, we won’t really have to make a noticeable adjustment to any of our launch plans, right?” Emily asked. Kat could hear the nervousness in her voice.

“Maybe. Right now, this will require a minor adjustment, but let’s start mapping alternative scenarios in case this goes south. Find out how locked the marketing dollars are in case we need to adjust the start date. Worst-case scenario, we might have to shorten the window for pre-orders prior to launch to still make the Black Friday push,” Kat said, eager to get ahead of this potential issue. She had enough experience to know that a launch could indeed be undone by a tiny sticker.

She hit end on the call and sighed. She needed to call Will immediately, to get ahead of this. This was not the Saturday she’d planned in her mind. She only wanted to drink some much-needed coffee, have breakfast, and talk to Jake. Instead, she was spending yet another weekend stressing about work.

While she and Will were in the middle of an intense discussion about worst-case scenarios and impacts to forecasts and budgets, Jake set down another coffee and a plate in front of her. It was half of a bagel and scrambled eggs, made with the leftover supplies from the night before. He rubbed her shoulder and handed her a fork. Kat couldn’t remember a time anyone made her breakfast, or any meal, and she mouthed “thank-you.”

When the situation had been dissected and every possibility considered, Kat took out her AirPods and put her phone to the side. She noticed Jake watching her.

“That seemed intense,” he said. “You okay?”

“I think so,” she replied. “This launch just has to be perfect, and now it might get derailed by bad adhesive on a small sticker … but there isn’t much more to do until we get more information. On Monday, we’ll—”

He cut her off. “I’m sure you’ll handle it. I asked if you were okay. That sounded like a pretty stressful start to a Saturday.”

She nodded to show him she was just fine, but tears pricked her eyes. She stood up and pretended to need something out of the fridge so he couldn’t see her. It had been a long time since anyone, including herself, had asked if she was okay.

J ake was a curious observer when Kat was at work. He didn’t know what the hell she was ever talking about, but she slipped into a character of her own—one in full control, cool, calculating, and always efficient. He’d watched her during his lazy pandemic days, when he would lie on her couch and listen to her virtual meetings.

He’d studied her as if she was a film character. He’d been fascinated by the formality of the language used by her and her team—phrases like “parallel path,” “on the same page,” and “distributed workforce” intrigued him. He would roll the phrases around his tongue, having only a vague idea of what they really meant. Part of the reason he could inhabit different characters was his absolute love of studying people.

Today, however, she seemed more stressed than he had ever seen her. She insisted she was fine and in control, but he could feel her unease. She made it clear she didn’t want to talk about it, but he tucked away a mental note to ask her about it later. He wished he had her skill to weather a crisis with calm action.

“Hey, what’s your call time today?” Kat asked, looking up from her laptop. He was not surprised that she had moved on to thinking about his logistics for the day.

Her innocent question made him look down at his cup and hesitate before answering. He had not yet mentioned his forced break. Even though it was only a few days, film shoots had tight schedules and, as the lead, having time off was measured in hours, not days. He knew it was bad when Garren changed the entire schedule.

“None,” he said, “I have a few days off while they shoot around me. I’m so terrible that they’re not going to waste another inch of film on my half-assed acting.” He continued to stare into his cup, face burning.

“Is that what the director said?” she asked, and he could hear a hint of skepticism. She closed her laptop and set it aside, her sole focus on him. He looked at her wide eyes and wished he hadn’t said anything.

“Not exactly those words,” he admitted, “but that is what they’re doing. The other principal actors come in a few days, and we should be further along in the schedule, so they’re making up time with shots that don’t require my presence. I need to use this time to get my shit together. That , he did say.”

Jake didn’t really know what would happen if he came back and still didn’t deliver. They were too far along to replace him … weren’t they? His heart raced at the thought of being fired. He was imagining the Twitter chatter and how people would delight in his failure. Industry reporters and the keyboard trolls would tear him apart without a second thought. It would derail his career in a way he couldn’t allow himself to consider.

Jake avoided her eyes, set down his coffee, and scratched the back of his head. He watched Kat stand up, put her plate in the sink, turn around, and disappear behind him. She put her hands on his bare shoulders, pressed her fingers into his muscles, and began to lightly rub. At least he didn’t have to face her.

“Taking a few days to regroup? Actually … that sounds like a good idea,” she said, pushing her thumb just under his shoulder blade. “Take it for face value. A needed break. Don’t make this more than it is.” Her voice was soft and calm. Jake leaned into her touch.

“Hmm,” he said, letting his head roll forward while he took a few deep breaths. That was the spot that always gave him trouble and she knew exactly how to release it. He’d forgotten how she’d learned his body during those pandemic days. His brain lingered on the memories of the long summer nights on her balcony, where her touch had been the balm he’d needed to make it through another week. She pressed her thumb into the knot with a firm, focused touch. It felt good; almost painful.

“God, I’m just … I don’t know. I feel like it’s me against the entire world right now,” he whispered, almost to himself. It wasn’t just the fear of being fired. He felt disconnected with everyone and everything around him. He groaned as she finally broke through the knot and felt relief in his shoulder. She’s the only one that can do that , he thought. He rolled his arm forward, enjoying the newly released muscle. She moved down to his lower back. He leaned forward, resting his head on his arms to give her better access. He sucked in a sharp breath when her fingers found another tight muscle.

Her voice broke the silence. “Just breathe into it, Jake. All of it.” She went down to a whisper. “Get out of your head. Stop thinking so hard and worrying about what might happen. Just let yourself be.”

He felt her hands lift off his back. They traveled to his head and as her hands ran through his hair, he felt himself harden between his legs. He adjusted his position to try to hide how his body was responding to her touch. He hadn’t realized how starved he was for gentleness. In the past year, he had plenty of physical contact, but none as giving and kind as this.

For the second time in less than twenty-four hours, tears came to his eyes. He kept his head down, exposing the back of his neck, and let a few tears fall. The care she took was almost too much. She stopped what she was doing and whispered in his ear. “You may be against the world right now, but I promise, the world is not against you.”

He nodded his head. He listened to her words, but it didn’t quell the constant unrest that had settled into his being. She gave his shoulders a squeeze and then he felt her lips on the side of his neck, kissing him. It was soft, and her lips lingered. Jake was transported to a time when sensual, stolen kisses had been commonplace between them. Last night, he’d decided that he would take her lead on anything physical, lest she think he called her all the way to Copenhagen for sex. That was definitively not why he’d called, but he wouldn’t deny that it had been on his mind since she’d arrived. He hoped she was trying to reignite the intimacy they’d once had. Jake rolled his head back toward her, wanting her to kiss him again, eliminating the separation time and distance had created.

She jarred him out of the moment when she clapped his shoulders. “I’m getting in the shower,” she announced. “And then we’re moving you into this apartment.” Before he could turn around, she disappeared into the bedroom.

K at admonished herself as she stepped into the shower. I can’t believe I kissed him … like that , she thought. She reminded herself of the barrier she needed to keep between them. Kissing him was not the plan. But I want to kiss him again . She rolled her eyes at herself. She wasn’t used to being this scattered in her thoughts. She’d only been trying to end the massage and lighten his mood. But instead of a quick peck, she’d lingered longer than she’d meant to, and it had been softer and more sensual than she’d planned. She’d looked at his face when he’d rolled his head back. His lips had been parted, and his eyes half closed. She’d been dangerously close to kissing those perfect and expectant lips. Her body couldn’t deny that she wanted him.

Her rational brain took over and she resolved to reinstate the boundaries they’d had—at least on their emotions. She’d seen his tears and knew she was only an inch deep into the darkness inside him. He had called her because he wasn’t okay, and she needed to be careful with his emotions. And hers. He had a way of making her lose focus, and she was already feeling her brain scramble when she was around him.

She pushed her rational brain to the side. They couldn’t be together for any length of time before the invisible boundary was shattered, bringing their bodies together. The “Humpty Dumpty” incident had ended with her on the floor, a script under her back, and Jake pressed against her, his arms holding her tight and their bodies working with a sense of urgency, as if either of them might pull away at any moment. The escape, the high, and the release had been addictive and like addicts, once they’d indulged in that drug, there was no turning back.

It was only sex—raw and unfiltered. Sometimes, an intense power struggle, a synchronized dance of control. Other times, it had been pure fun, both taking pleasure in watching the other person come apart. It was an unspoken agreement that they had no expectations of the other person. She believed they were both running from their own demons and the high had allowed them to break free, even for just a moment, from the invisible chains they’d put on themselves.

Her chains were ones of unrelenting responsibility, driven by the need to be successful in her career so she could take care of Becca. She understood Jake’s chains were the expectations from directors, producers, the press, the fans, and everyone who believed they owned a piece of him.

She sighed to herself. It had been over a year since they had been together … could it be that she had imagined his response? In the past year, there had been very little connection between them, and recently Jake had been with a constant string of women, all documented in the media. Each one more beautiful than the next. Before he’d called, Kat figured their relationship had fizzled to nothing and she’d been content to let him go, not because she’d wanted to, but for her own self-preservation. She’d come to believe their time together although intense and meaningful to Kat, had been a casual fling to Jake. It was entirely possible that he’d moved on and the intensity of Kat’s desires were now wholly one-sided.

After she’d showered and changed, Kat walked out of the bedroom and found Jake unpacking his suitcase. She wasn’t going to dwell on the moment they’d had just thirty minutes earlier, and clearly, neither was he. She resigned herself to the reality that the kiss meant more to her, anyway. After all, he was the one who’d stayed away for an entire year. She vowed to herself that, moving forward, he would need to make the next move.

“This won’t take long. I never bring much with me,” he gestured around the sparse apartment.

At the risk of sounding lecture-y, Kat responded, “I think you’ll feel more settled, maybe more committed to this film, if you move in. You look like you could pack up and leave at a moment’s notice.”

Jake tossed a pair of socks in a drawer and shot her a resigned look. She decided not to push him any further.

As they worked, Kat was planning the rest of the day in her head. She couldn’t help it—she was wired for constant anticipation.

“Are you really free all day?” she asked.

“Yep. Hey, based on this morning, do you need to go into the office today?” he asked. “I understand if you do.”

“No,” she said. “There’s not much more I can do today. But I do have a few ideas for sightseeing in Copenhagen.”

J ake thought about what they might encounter when they ventured out in public. He was worried about her comfort in public with him. He couldn’t imagine she had any understanding of what his life was really like. A lot had changed in the two years since the pandemic had started and back then, they’d been in a bubble, away from the world. Their stolen moments had been a complete secret, kept even from those close to them. He needed her to understand the public realities of being with him.

“Kat. We should talk about this,” he started. “I get recognized on the street much more often than a year ago. I need you to be prepared.”

Kat was quick to respond. “I thought about this a lot on the flight here, because I do want to hang out with you, and I don’t want to hide the entire time,” she said. “But what I really have to avoid is anything that would identify me as more than an acquaintance. Jake, your stans are really attached to you and obsessed with everything you do. I don’t want to be a part of their chatter if I can help it.”

He nodded in agreement. He knew that some of his loyal fans were very … how could he put it? Stalker-ish. He never worried about getting kidnapped or going missing, because his stans would find him in a split second. Hell, every time he wore a new shirt, it was less than eight hours before the brand and a link to buy would be posted. They relished every tiny detail of his life. If they thought he was dating someone, they would stop at nothing to know everything about her.

She continued, “I need to be as anonymous as possible. Mostly for Becca. If I’m identified, it inevitably leads to her. I keep imagining your fans approaching her on the street and that gives me the chills. I would never want anything we do to impact her safety.”

“Kat, oh God, of course,” he interjected, horrified at the thought.

“And the other reason I don’t want to be identified—or if I am, it must be just as acquaintances—is for my career. This is a bad time to look like I’m running around Copenhagen on vacation … with a celebrity no less. I am here because of the PVA launch, after all. A project that as of this morning, might not be going so smoothly.”

“Ahh.…” Jake said, giving her a knowing look. “That makes sense. Do they think you’re only here for work? Like, would you get in trouble if you’re in any photos with me? Because we’ll show up, at least on social media. It’s inevitable.”

“I did tell my boss I was going to visit a friend while I was here, so I didn’t lie. And I’m not here on the company dime, so a few friendly photos shouldn’t cause an issue. If this launch tanks and I appear distracted, it will cause an issue. I will definitely lose the COO spot. I don’t think it’s inevitable that we will be photographed.” she said with defiance. “I believe if we follow a few simple rules, we’ll be okay.”

She is nothing if not a systematic thinker , he thought. “Rules?” Jake said, raising an eyebrow. “This should be interesting. Tell me your rules.” He tried not to smile as Kat began to speak in a serious tone.

“Rule number one: we shouldn’t touch in public. Don’t put your arm around me, grab my arm, etc. You are a touchy-feely person, but if you don’t touch me in public and there won’t be any photos that could be misconstrued. We don’t look like a couple, so there won’t be a problem.

“Rule number two: we need to be careful not to walk or stand super close. People don’t want me in the picture anyway. If we aren’t close, I won’t even show up. Problem solved, easy.

“Rule number three: we need to be careful going in and out of the apartment building. Whenever we can, we should try to separate. Just to make it less obvious that I’m staying here. I don’t think anyone is going to stake out your apartment to see if I go in and out, but they will if we’re seen together repeatedly.” She finally paused to take a breath.

“Are you done?” he asked, “I mean, I was thinking I should be careful to not look directly at you, either. Kinda like a solar eclipse.” He was teasing, but he could feel his shoulders tighten as the stress crept into his body. He understood her reasons, but he didn’t like her rules. He didn’t want to live a stilted existence out in public. And as someone who had lived in the public eye for nearly ten years, he knew these rules wouldn’t work for long. He worried about what would happen when they were photographed together. Because they would be, and for someone who lived with emotions on the surface, it would be hard to pretend she was just a casual acquaintance. But he would try, for her.

Jake reached over and shook Kat’s hand as if it were a business transaction. “Deal,” he said. “We’ll hang out, but never be in the same space or look each other in the eye. Sounds like a blast.”

K at went into the bedroom to put on some mascara and changed her outfit now that the apartment was in better shape. She wanted to be more presentable, knowing that there was a chance any of their interactions could be immortalized via social media. It made her uncomfortable, but she figured her rules—even the ones Jake mocked—would prevent too many photos from being taken, and most importantly, help them steer clear of any internet chatter that would involve her.

After she had pulled on a pair of jeans, T-shirt, sweater, and a pair of bright white trainers, she looked in the mirror. She wanted to look casual and put together without appearing as if she was trying too hard. Although, she was trying … and this felt … hard. Looking at herself now, the woman that stared back at her looked more youthful than she felt. She always considered herself an old thirty-three-year-old. She already had a child and the big job. Her life had accelerated in a way that made her feel older than her years.

Pulling her hair into a top knot, she turned to see Jake walk out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of ripped jeans, a concert T-shirt, and a black hoodie. Jake looked like he didn’t try, but somehow, was also on the cutting edge of fashion. He had a distinct street style that looked both casual and put together at the same time. It registered in her mind how very young he appeared.

The actual age discrepancy between them was eight years, but if you didn’t know that fact, you would assume the age gap was even larger. If the roles had been reversed, and she were a man, it wouldn’t raise eyebrows. But, in this instance, looking physically like she was at least ten to twelve years older than him made her uncharacteristically self-conscious.

He was running his hands through his wet hair, fresh from the shower. It was all the grooming he needed to do to arrange his curls into a perfect, tousled mop. She shook her head at the unfairness. His hair was part of his look and one thing most people noticed first when they picked him out of a crowd. There was an entire fan-run Instagram devoted to his hair. Like two million other people, Kat followed it.

He picked up his wallet by the door and put it in his pocket. Kat tucked her phone in her back pocket and met him at the door.

“So, where do you want to go?” he asked, stepping into her personal space.

“It’s a surprise. Just you wait. I have a plan. You’ll see,” she said, reaching for the door handle.

She felt him take her hand and before she could react, he pushed her up against the door. His lips met hers in a soft and tentative kiss. It was a repeat of the earlier kiss: sweet, sensual, and lingering for just long enough. But instead of pulling away, he deepened the intensity of the kiss. They kissed until they were both out of breath, and she felt Jake’s body against hers. Kat shut off her mind and her body responded to him, running her fingers through his hair as her tongue met his.

When he pulled away and stepped backward, despite herself, she let out a small, almost imperceptible whimper. She wished she didn’t want him as much as she did, but that kiss nearly undid her.

He smirked and reached behind her to open the door. “Good,” he said, “I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

Well, that certainly wasn’t her imagination.