Chapter Twenty-Two
chapter twenty?two
K at sipped her second cup of coffee as she got Becca ready for the day. The extra caffeine was clearing the fog of jet lag from her brain. After a few days upstate, in the cocoon of Ben’s parents, Kat was ready to face the office today. She’d heard from Emily that the rumor mill was in full force. People were having a lot of fun at her expense. Her hands shook as she buttoned Becca’s shirt. Concentrating on each button to focus her mind, she took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. You can do this. You’ve handled far worse , she told herself.
Once dressed, Becca ran down the hallway toward the kitchen. Kat followed behind and called out, “I have a surprise breakfast for you. This is your last Monday of preschool! Next week, kindergarten!”
Becca beamed and scrambled into her chair where Kat had placed a white bag at Becca’s spot—a breakfast Kat had ordered to be delivered earlier that morning. It wasn’t the usual Greek yogurt and berries, but something new.
“Momma, what’s this? Can I open it?” she asked. Kat looked over her coffee cup, nodded and watched as Becca’s small hands tore open the bag straight down the middle like she was ripping open the most exciting present. That’s one way to open it , she thought, laughing to herself. Becca pulled out the foil-wrapped sandwich like a treasure and peeled back the layers to reveal a bagel with egg, cheese, and bacon. The cheese was dripping down the side, and as Becca took a bite, gooey cheese fell on her arm. She giggled. “Yum!” she said. “Momma, I love bacon. Why don’t we have bacon every day?” she asked.
Kat started to explain why she didn’t let Becca eat bacon every day, but she stopped herself and a smile came to her lips. “We should have bacon more often!”
Becca flashed her a grin and two thumbs-up, and Kat let out a laugh. She picked up the other half of the sandwich and took a bite. The sensory memory of sitting in the small kitchen of a temporary apartment in a foreign city hit her with such force she had to blink back tears. God, she missed Jake. She didn’t want to miss him. She wanted to hate him. She struggled to reconcile the complex emotion of anger and longing.
W hen they arrived at Becca’s preschool, Kat signed in at the front desk. Becca dashed in already chattering with her teacher.
“No run today?” asked the young girl at the front desk. Kat furrowed her brow, but then realized she was dressed for work instead of her usual run through the park.
“Oh, right. Yes, not today,” Kat said muttered.
“Hey, I don’t mean to be awkward, but I have to tell you, I’m a big fan. Of Jake, I mean, Jake Laurent. Sorry. But I would kick myself if I didn’t say something to you …” she rambled. In the past seventy-two hours, Kat had been stopped more times than she’d ever imagined possible for interactions that were all versions of the same. Innocent but unnerving all the same.
Before she could respond, a woman approached her and held out her hand. “Hi Ms. Green, I’m Lena, the director. Do you have a minute to talk in my office?”
She nodded and stepped into a small office off to the side.
“Ms. Green, we are a very popular school for children of public figures. We have the mayor’s son, the governor’s twins, and more celebrity children than we can count. We are discreet and, most importantly, secure,” she recited.
Without wasting any time, Lena walked her through the security protocols they had in place. As Becca would transition from the preschool program to the kindergarten class next week, those protocols would stay in place.
“For situations like yours, with heightened interest, we need you to sign this authorization for discreet security on Becca, for at least the next two weeks. We have the end-of-year field trip to the Natural History Museum. I don’t want you to worry, and we can’t have our teachers distracted. You can sign right here,” she said, handing Kat the document.
Kat read it over, including the incremental fees. “So, how does this work? Will you just add the cost to the tuition payments?” She winced at the price. The school was already very expensive, and this just added to the ever-growing list of costs.
Lena waved her hand. “Oh, I figured you knew. Mr. Laurent called this morning. He’s taking care of it. We’re recommending two weeks, but he authorized for it to continue as long as you want.”
Kat stilled. The part of her brain that believed she had to do everything herself, almost said no out of spite. But, the truth was, she could use the help. She signed the papers and rushed out to make it to work.
K at fell into her office chair and spun around to face the wall. She silently cursed the glass walls of her office. She rested her head on the back of the chair and took a shaky breath. The last hour had been the worst of her career. In the same boardroom where she had delivered on countless revenue-generating projects, she’d endured her corporate communications team dissecting the timeline and nature of her relationship with Jake.
She was no longer an executive leader at PathMobile; she was a girl who had dated Jake Laurent. Coming out of the meeting, she’d felt her reputation was forever changed.
There was a soft knock at her door. Kat turned around to see Emily standing in the doorway, holding two coffees. She waved her in.
“How bad was it?” Emily asked, sitting down as she slid a coffee across the desk.
“Well, it wasn’t my favorite meeting,” Kat deadpanned. She wasn’t sure where to start.
“Why do they even care? It’s nobody’s business who you date, much less Path’s,” Emily said, lowering her voice.
“A few reasons,” Kat started. “The article mentioned Path and has been viewed 8.2 million times. There’re still a few lingering trolls using that stupid boycott hashtag. The comms teams has been fielding calls from industry and entertainment press for days. They’ve spent company resources on this situation … which is why they get to have an opinion.
“It wasn’t just a meeting with comms. Will was there too. It looks like I was gallivanting around Copenhagen before the biggest launch Path has ever had in the US. The optics couldn’t be worse. It was far from a vacation, as you know. I did work while I was there, and we have optimized our US launch based on the Denmark pre-launch, but it doesn’t change what people want to believe. At least Will believed me … I think.”
Kat was reminded that although she had given her nights and weekends to the company—essentially giving up her life for work—PathMobile owed her nothing. When it came down to it, Path would always protect itself over even its best employee.
“I’m sorry, Kat,” Emily said, leaning back in her chair. “What does all this mean? What now?”
Kat hesitated before answering. “Well … I’m taking a leave of absence until this blows over.” Emily tried to protest, but Kat cut her off. “I can’t stand the way people are looking at me when I see them in the hallway. I feel like I’m just a distraction right now.”
She was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. “I withdrew my name from the COO nomination.” The shock was clear on Emily’s face. After a pause, Kat continued. “I have been thinking a lot these past few days. I love this company, but I don’t love this life. I need to take some time away from here to figure out what brings me joy. It’s not working fourteen hours a day.”
Hearing it out loud, she still surprised herself. It was true. Her life had revolved around PathMobile for years. Work had become an escape to avoid living her life. She’d been too busy to feel much of anything, too busy to feel the sadness of losing Ben—too busy to find the joy in raising her daughter.
She’d thought of nothing else since coming back from Copenhagen. Focusing on the next task at hand, solving the next problem, and chasing the next promotion had allowed her to convince herself she had everything under control, when in reality, she’d been avoiding her own grief and loneliness. She understood that now. She’d been holding on to Ben to protect herself. Ben had already left her, and if she never moved on from him, she wouldn’t have another man she loved ever leave her again. Ben’s prediction was right: she was living with the dead.
She was going to enter back into the land of the living—starting today. The idea made her heart race with excitement. During the worst day in my career, I feel the most invigorated , she mused.
It would be easy to paint her whole Copenhagen trip with a brush of anger because of how it’d ended. But her time with Jake had changed her. He showed her she wasn’t just capable of love, she wanted to be loved. This time, she wouldn’t let her brain override her heart. She wanted to be like Becca and live life with anticipatory joy. And I am going to start paying attention … to Becca … to life , she thought. She couldn’t do that if she spent every waking hour consumed with her job. It wasn’t worth it.
“Wow, Kat. I haven’t seen you take a full day off … ever. You really okay?” Emily asked.
“Yes. I’m going to take time to figure out my life. I owe it to Becca, and frankly to myself, to find a way to live life with work on the side and not the other way around,” she said, repeating Emily’s words back to her. Kat began to pack her bag to leave. She decided in that moment to spring Becca out of daycare in the middle of the day. An afternoon in the park was in their near future.
She stopped packing and looked at Emily. “A very smart person told me that once.”
Emily smiled, stood up and gave Kat a hug. “Well, I’m proud of you. I have always admired you, Kat, but never more than now.”