Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Jeremy
I knock on Emma’s door later that night, balancing two grocery bags over each arm.
When I texted her earlier today, I was hoping she would tell me to come over. After another unfulfilling day going through the motions at the foundation and knowing the bar was fully staffed and I would probably be in the way if I tried to go, I just wanted to see Emma.
The more time we spend together, the less tolerance I have for being apart from her. I’ve spent the better part of eight years finding ways to be close to her while she would barely look me in the eye, much less speak to me. Now she does both of those things. I know what it feels like to hold her in my arms, to share a meal with her, to sit with our legs pressed up against each other while we laugh at the TV and she tips her head onto my shoulder.
I want more of that. As much as I can get.
Just…more of everything.
The more part scares the shit out of me. I’ve spent my entire life never asking for more. From anyone. I’ve turned myself into the cheerful life of the party. The outgoing, cocky ex-hockey player unbothered that his career ended years too soon. The gregarious bar owner who remembers everyone’s drink order. The flirty charmer who lightens every room he inhabits. The person who never asks too much of anyone. The person everyone wants around. Because if they want me around, they won’t leave.
It's the thought of them leaving that makes me so terrified to let them stay.
The door opens, and one look at Emma’s face has my heart speeding up and my brain flipping from I don’t want to ask too much of anyone to I want everything with her so fast I get lightheaded.
“Hey,” she says, with a smile that lights up her green eyes. In jeans, a loose purple sweater that hangs off one shoulder, and bare feet with bright orange toenails, her flaming hair pulled back in a swinging ponytail, she looks calm and cozy. Just looking at her quiets my chaotic thoughts, and I want more than anything to wrap myself around her and sink into her comfort.
And also strip her down and bury my face between her legs until she’s moaning my name.
Again.
It might have been eight years ago, but that particular experience is burned into my brain.
And there’s a thought I’ll be needing to keep to myself.
“Hey, Ems.” I walk into the house and bend down to kiss her cheek, loving the color that floods her face when my lips make contact with her skin. It’s a little callback to before two weeks ago when she would barely speak to me, and it makes me so fucking grateful for where we are now.
If this is all we ever get—this friendship borne of uncommon childhoods and a mutual love of running the trails—I’ll be grateful for it. But also, her cheek is smooth and warm, and this close to her, I catch a whiff of lilacs that makes me want to lean my head against hers and breathe her in. Taking a deliberate step away from her so I don’t accidentally do that, I glance around the first floor.
“Where’s Maddy?”
“She’s upstairs in her room. She had a big day. We went to see her new school today and met her teachers, and I could tell she needed some time to recharge.”
“Fellow member of the introverts club, huh?”
“What?” She looks at me with a questioning expression.
“Ems, you’re the most introverted person I’ve ever met. You avoid social situations like the plague unless it involves Hallie, Julie, and Molly, and when you have to go, you need twenty-four to forty-eight hours to recharge.”
She stares at me, scrunching up her nose like she’s trying to figure me out and looking so damn cute I want to kiss the scrunched nose and wrap her up.
“You know that?”
“Of course I know that. I know a lot of things about you. In a totally non-creepy way,” I say quickly, realizing how that sounds. Because the truth is, I do know a lot of things about her. I’ve spent the last eight years paying attention to her. What she likes, what she needs, what makes her happy. My reasons are vast and complicated, and I haven’t even worked them all out for myself yet, so I’m hoping she doesn’t ask, because I’d be hard-pressed to explain.
She doesn’t. Instead, she studies me in that intense way of hers. The way that makes me think she can see straight into my head and read all the thoughts there. Fidgeting under her gaze, I’m about to change the subject when she glances down at the bags I’m still holding and laughs.
“Jeremy, why are there eight different cereals in those bags?”
“I told you I was bringing dinner.”
“That’s cereal, not dinner.”
I give her a disappointed look.
“Cereal is the most perfect food of all time, Ems. It can be breakfast, lunch, or dinner. It can be a snack. It can be dessert or go on top of dessert. Sometimes, like tonight, it’s dinner and an activity too.”
“Activity?”
“You bet. Go get Maddy. I’ve got some setting up to do.”
Her dubious expression has me chuckling. “Trust me, you guys will love it. Go. Meet me in the kitchen.”
With one more look at my grocery bags, she heads towards the stairs, and I take everything back to the kitchen. I unpack the bags, setting my eight boxes of cereal and assorted things on the table. Then I open Emma’s cabinets and drawers at random until I find bowls, spoons, and glasses, setting three places and adding a stack of extra bowls.
I’m just finishing up when I hear footsteps on the stairs. I turn just in time to see Emma walk into the kitchen with Maddy, and for a second, all I can do is stare at them. With her red hair, freckled face, and intense green eyes locked on me, Maddy looks like she could be Emma’s actual daughter, and it fucks with my head a little.
The way they’re standing, Maddy angling her body towards Emma and Emma’s hand on her shoulder, speaks of comfort and trust. Maddy may not say much, but I see clear as day that she’s bonded with Emma already. My heart expands with pride for this amazing, life-changing thing Emma is doing, at the same time as it hurts, just a little, for the parentless little boy in me who never had someone like Emma to put a hand on his shoulder just to let him know they were there.
I bend down so I’m eye-level with Maddy and put out my hand.
“I’m Jeremy. I’m a friend of Emma’s. It’s really nice to meet you Little Red.”
She puts her little hand in mine, her eyes studying me, her face set in serious lines, and her eyebrows pulled together.
“My name is Maddy.”
I smile at her. “That’s a really great name. I called you Little Red because you have red hair, just like Emma. It’s like a nickname. But I don’t have to call you that if you don’t like it.”
“I’ve never had a nickname before.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, but I can hear the consideration in her tone.
“I like to give nicknames to people who are my friends. I think you and I are going to be excellent friends.”
Her nod has an air of finality to it. “You can call me Little Red.”
I hold up a hand and she high-fives me. My chest warms as I look at her. I’ve barely known this little girl for five minutes, and she already has wedged herself into my heart, right next to the space that Emma has always occupied. Uncomfortable with that thought, I shove it away, because neither of these red-haired girls are mine to keep. I force my tone to stay casual.
“Now that we have that settled, can I ask you a question?”
“Okay.”
“Do you like cereal?”
She nods again, but her eyes light up.
Bingo .
“I’m so glad. I like cereal too. I actually love cereal. It’s my favorite food in the whole world, and I need your help with something really important. Cereal lovers everywhere are counting on us, Little Red.”
Emma snorts out a laugh, and I wink up at her before turning back to Maddy.
“Do you think you can help me?”
She glances up at Emma, and Emma gives her an encouraging nod.
“I can help.”
“Oh, thank god,” I say dramatically, holding my hand to my heart. “I thought I would have to do this all alone and the truth is, it’s no fun to eat cereal alone. It’s so much more fun to eat cereal with friends.”
Maddy lets out a giggle. It’s quick and quiet but it’s there, and it’s the first time she’s sounded like a seven-year-old since she walked into the kitchen. From Emma’s sharp inhale, I think maybe this is the first time Maddy has laughed since she’s been here. One glance up at the riot of emotions on Emma’s face confirms it.
“Well then, take your seat at the table, Little Red. Let’s get this cereal party started.”
“Emma too?”
I chance another glance up at Emma and the look she’s giving me is one of awe and a little gratitude. I don’t know if I deserve it, but I can’t deny the warm feeling in my chest at either of those feelings being directed towards me. I turn my attention back to Maddy and sigh dramatically.
“I don’t know, Little Red. Earlier Emma told me that cereal isn’t dinner and that’s just plain wrong. But she’s our friend, so we’ll give her a seat at the table just so we can show her how wrong she is.”
“You are so magnanimous Jer; I didn’t know you had it in you.”
I grin up at her, the familiarity of her shortening my name making me feel light as air.
“Grab a seat ladies. It’s time to experiment.”
Maddy’s mouth ticks up in a little smile as they both take their seats at the circular table, one on each side of me. Maddy’s eyes widen when she sees all the cereal boxes.
“Okay,” I start, gesturing towards the boxes. “What we have here are all the best cereals in the world. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Reese’s Peanut Butter Puffs, Frosted Flakes, Cocoa Puffs, Honey Nut Cheerios, Lucky Charms, Froot Loops, and Crunch Berries. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to create the best cereal combination, because everyone knows cereals are better if you mix them together.”
Emma is looking at me like I’m a little nuts, and Maddy nods seriously. Both reactions make me chuckle. There is literally nowhere I would rather be right now than right here in this bright kitchen, surrounded by red-haired girls and cereal boxes.
“Now, once you’ve made the best combo, you have to decide on milk and toppings. We have plain milk, vanilla milk, strawberry milk, and chocolate milk. And for toppings, we’ve got strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. I’m a purist and believe that fruit doesn’t belong anywhere near my cereal. You may think differently, and that’s okay. We accept all opinions here at Cereal Tasting Central.”
Maddy giggles again and Emma beams at me, making me feel twenty feet tall.