Astor Hill

Chapter 33

33

Ben

The air is brisk as I walk into the courtyard of Will’s apartment, the cold air hitting my nose and giving me that sense of nostalgia I always get this time of year— the kind that makes me miss my mom. I shake it off as I greet Jeff, Will’s doorman.

“Any Thanksgiving plans this year?”

“Just the same old, same old Mr. Cabot. Wife’s turkey and a game on the TV.” Jeff’s eyes crinkle at the side as he grins up at me.

I give him a wistful sigh. “That honestly sounds amazing.”

He laughs. “I’m sure it doesn’t compare to the feast your family has in store for you and Will this year.”

I give him a small smile that doesn’t reach my eyes and softly clap him on the shoulder.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Jeff.”

I make my way toward the elevator slinging my duffel over my shoulder. The doors open across from Will’s penthouse, a stark contrast to mine. The concrete floors and white walls make the entire place feel cold and sterile. All the furniture is in different shades of gray.

“Will,” I call into the void that is his sparsely decorated apartment.

“In here,” he responds, his voice ringing clear which makes me hopeful his mood has stabilized a bit. Over the course of the past two weeks I have been here almost every day making sure Will’s staying far away from alcohol, eating something, and at least attempting to sleep. That alone has made a huge impact on his mood, but even more so hanging out with my brother one on one, more than we have in years, has been helping us both.

We’ve talked a lot, especially about Lily. Will was quick to use Olivia as a bandaid and now that the band aid has been ripped off it's clear how much Lily’s death has been haunting him. We found him a grief therapist and a behavioral therapist all within walking distance of Pop’s house where he’ll be staying for the next year. Astor agreed to let Will take classes online for the next few semesters while he gets back on his feet. All of this is amazing and exactly what Will needs. God knows Pop helped me when I needed a breather. All that said, Will insisted that the basketball chapter of his life be closed. Dan exploded when I told him. I agreed to do it on Will’s behalf as myself, Pop, and Will’s new therapists all agreed that it would be best for Will to put some space between himself and our parents. Similar to the advice I received when I was on hiatus. Thinking about mom though, alone with Dan—I feel nausea roil inside me.

I walk into Will’s room and it’s as bare as the rest of his home. Literally just a bed in the corner of the room with all white linens. He’s on his knees in the closest, shoving fistfuls of t-shirts into a duffel bag that’s already filled to the brim.

“You okay, man?” I ask, gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed. He sighs, pausing and wiping at the sweat on his forehead.

“Yeah, sorry— I just overslept and was already procrastinating when it came to packing. I’m good.” His eyes meet mine in the mirror in front of him and he gives me a tight lip smile and firm nod. I offer him a smile back and he goes back to packing.

“Do you think I’m going to be a burden on grandfather?” Will asks, looking worried as he stares into his bag.

“No. Pop loves you and he’s going to be glad to have you there,” I reassure him, trying to reassure myself.

“He loves you, Ben… Pop doesn’t really know me,” Will says, shaking his head. I think about how young Will was when Dan stopped prioritizing his well being and instead only had him focus on basketball. How his relationships with our family changed. I never considered that he didn’t want that but now I see how crazy it was that I didn’t. How lonely Will must have felt growing up as we were pitted against each other and then against every friend he made moving forward.

My brother's shoulders slump at my pause. I push off his bed and walk toward the closet, moving through the clothes he has hung up. “Listen— Pop does love you. I think it just comes with the territory of having someone like Pop as your grandfather. You need to trust that not everyone is Dan. We don’t all expect something from you Will.”

I see my brother swallow hard, tears pricking his eyes.

“Thanks, Ben.” He sniffs, coming to his feet. “Okay, I think I have everything I need.” I look down at his two suitcases and duffel, relieved he didn’t pack any suits as Pop is definitely not the type to participate in “high society,” as he calls it. Will was a little worried about cutting himself off from Dan and mom, especially when it came to his trust fund. Lucky for both of us and to Dan’s dismay, grandfather is loaded and loves to watch Dan squirm. Our inheritance from Pop makes Dan’s look like pennies.

Mom’s side of the family is basically the dairy dynasty of the east. Pop’s owns more than half the dairy farms on the east coast. With his farming background, he isn’t a fan of the glitz and glam that money has brought to his family. For political reasons, though, he keeps a townhouse in Boston; he can participate when he feels like it while also allowing it to be a place for his grandsons to hide out whenever needed. I know Will is going to do well there. He needs someone like Pop, someone who loves him with no strings attached.

“To Boston?” I say to my brother, a huge grin taking over my face.

He smiles back sheepishly. “Can we actually make a pit stop somewhere first? There’s something I need to do.”