3. Capri
CHAPTER 3
CAPRI
The moment my jog slowed down a bit, my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I had just run two miles and was dripping sweat. It was the day after I took the paternity test for Caprice, and my anxiety was at an all-time high. My anger wasn’t lifting at all, and I had to talk myself out of rearranging Dolph’s face one too many times. If I approached him with the current anger that was taking up space in my body, I would kill him with my bare hands, and that was a fact. I was Caprice’s father. I didn’t care what a DNA test said, and I didn’t want to leave her out in the world without me because I chose to murder a nigga for playing with me. What would be the point of killing him if I didn’t kill Robin’s hoe ass either? They had both done the unthinkable.
The past played in my mind like a movie. Various scenes stayed flashing through my mind. The times when Robin was pregnant, and Dolph would come around smiling in my face knowing he’d had sex with her. When Caprice was born, and the fuck nigga took me out for celebratory shots. He and Robin both really played in my face. My light jog slowed to a walk as I neared my home. When my phone vibrated again, I pulled it from my pocket and kissed my teeth. I wasn’t sure why Robin’s mother was calling me but if it was to plead her daughter’s case and get in my business, she could go to hell with her daughter. I ignored the call and went straight to the shower. I wasn’t going to keep neglecting my businesses because I was in my feelings due to two snakes.
It was late in the day but better late than never. When I was done with work, I’d more than likely stop by a bar for a shot or two. There was alcohol in the house, but I didn’t want to sit in the house and drink alone. That was another thing that made me feel weak. Suddenly wanting alcohol when I hadn’t drunk any in years. The situation with Dolph and Robin was taking me way out of character. I’d never go out sad behind a bitch, but them playing with my daughter was something that I couldn’t get past.
After a long hot shower, I got dressed while my stomach growled reminding me that I needed to eat. While I was running a brush over my coal black waves, the doorbell rang, and I set the brush down with a frown. People popping up at my crib uninvited was a great way to get on my bad side. Being that I was already in a foul mood, I wouldn’t mind cursing somebody out. That idea went out the window when I saw who was at the door. It was my sister, Bianca, and she’d been crying. My brows snapped together.
“What’s wrong, B?”
Bianca didn’t speak. She walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me. I hadn’t seen her cry since our mother died when I was eighteen, and Bianca was twenty-eight. Without knowing what was going on, I hugged her back. Bianca was tough, so if she was crying it was something serious. I wanted to be patient and let her get it all out, but I was a little antsy. The fact that she showed up in person versus telling me over the phone spoke volumes. Whatever it was, it was serious.
Finally, she took a step back and looked up at me with sad eyes. Bianca was damn near 5’9, but I still towered over her slightly. “Capri, Caprice was shot. She didn’t make it.”
Never in life had my knees buckled. My grown ass dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Bianca was my blood sister, and we were thick as thieves. There was no way possible she’d bring me something like that if it wasn’t true. It felt as if my heart had been ripped from my chest. I looked up at her with a racing heart. “Fuck you mean she got shot? How? How did she get shot?” My voice cracked.
“Her and Robin were at Robin’s sister’s house, and some guys across the street started arguing and fighting. One of them went and got a gun and,” Bianca choked out a sob.
The animalistic howl that left my throat pierced the room and made my throat burn. God couldn’t be this cruel. There was no way in hell. Caprice? Nah. Hell nah. Hell fucking no. Bianca got down on the floor with me and hugged me as I cried from my entire gut. Life had been beating my ass lately, but this took the cake. Getting myself together was imperative because I needed names. I needed details. I got my ass up off the floor and scrubbed my hand down my face wiping the tears away.
“When did this happen?” I sat down on the couch and grinded my teeth together.
“Last night,” she whispered, and my head shot up.
“Last night? And I’m just finding out about it?” I roared. It wasn’t her fault, but the anger in me could no longer be held at bay.
“From what Robin’s mother told me, she knew if she called you that you wouldn’t pick up. She was inconsolable for a while, and everything was just happening so fast. Her mother said she tried to call you twice, and you didn’t answer.”
“That bitch called me twice today with the last time being about an hour ago! If she would have called me continuously, I would have known something was up, and I would have answered. I just found out that Caprice might be Dolph’s child, so of course, I wasn’t answering for them! Had I known it was about Caprice, that would have changed, and those bitches know that shit.”
Bianca’s face crumpled. “Wait a minute. What did you say?”
I didn’t even care to repeat it. A release was needed. I punched the wall so hard that it left a hole. Bianca gasped, and I had to force myself not to do more damage to the wall. I could get it fixed easily. That wasn’t the issue. It felt like I was losing my mind.
“Where is she?”
“The funeral home picked her up from the hospital.”
I was suffocating. I walked over to the door and yanked it open. Stepping out onto the porch, I begged God to open my lungs. It literally felt like I was choking. Where did I go? What did I do? I leaned against the house and stared into space. This shit was foul. It was foul, and it wasn’t fair. If God wanted to take somebody, He could have taken me but Caprice? Her loud giggles and smiling face flashed through my mind making me clench my fists. As hard as it was, I needed to know everything that my sister knew. I was officially about to become the literal walking definition of the phrase crash out. At that point, I didn’t feel like I had anything left to lose.
The person that was responsible for shooting Caprice might as well go ahead and take their own life because I was going to make it my mission to make sure they suffered. Fuck eye for an eye. It was going to be some lives for a life. I was going to take everything they loved and cared about before I finally took them. Dolph and Robin’s betrayal had already hardened my heart. They turned me into a vengeful bastard, but there was still some light and love left, and it was all for Caprice. She was no more. My reason for being a somewhat decent person was no longer around, and that sealed the deal. There would be no effort on my part to contain the beast that had been born and was about to be unleashed. And the sad thing was, I gave zero fucks about what hell he may cause. In fact, it was the only thing keeping me sane.
Never in my life had I ever referred to myself as weak, but that’s what I was. I felt weak when I needed three shots of tequila just to be able to go to the funeral home and make arrangements for Caprice. Robin wasn’t stable enough to do it, and I was going to pay for it. I couldn’t even make eye contact with the funeral home owner as we spoke about how I wanted to send Caprice off. I felt even weaker when I left the funeral home and drove straight to the hood in search of weed. I grew up with an alcoholic father, and that aided in my refusal to become addicted to anything. After years of not smoking or drinking, it was now all I craved. It was the only thing that kept me halfway in my right mind. I knew people meant well, but I was already sick of all the condolences and questions. I was also tired of people asking me about Robin. I knew she loved Caprice, and I knew she was hurting, but it would be a cold ass day in hell before I consoled her. Nah. She would have to get that from someone else.
I refused to tell anybody why they didn’t see me with Robin and why I didn’t know how she was doing. I didn’t have to explain myself to a soul, and I didn’t have to tarnish her character. The shit was what it was. She had her family to get her through. The hoe couldn’t even get a head nod out of me. I was far removed from the streets, but I knew a lot of people, making me good in any hood. Even when I was in the streets, I wasn’t a king pin or one of the richest niggas in the city. However, I was still well respected because no one could say I wasn’t solid. I was just a man that kept his word, minded his business, and treated everyone with respect until they proved themselves worthy of disrespect. After getting my ass kicked a few times in elementary school, I taught myself how to fight but the crazy thing was, once I learned and was confident, no one tried me, so I never even got the chance to show off my newly acquired skills.
When I pulled up in the hood at a guy named Ronnie’s house, he was already posted up outside talking to a female. Being that I had stopped smoking, I didn’t have his number, but I didn’t think he’d mind me popping up on him. I knew he was surprised to see me but along with the shock there was also pity. He knew. Of course he knew. Word traveled fast.
“What up, Capri man? Long time no see.”
I gave a curt nod. “My bad for popping up. I need an ounce if you got it.” Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t even talk anything illegal in front of someone I didn’t know but unless shorty lived under a rock, she already had to know that Ronnie sold weed. And it was weed. I didn’t give a damn about her knowing that I was buying it.
“Sure thing homie. Follow me. I’ll be back,” he told the young woman.
I followed Ronnie in the house, and there was an awkward silence. I could tell he didn’t know what to say, and I appreciated him being quiet. I didn’t have anything to say, and I didn’t care for small talk. Ronnie filled a mason jar with large buds, and I could tell he gave me more than an ounce. I didn’t need anybody’s pity, but I didn’t care to open my mouth and tell him he didn’t have to do that.
“Take my number in case you need something, and I’m not here.” He extended the glass jar towards me.
I eased his money out of my pocket and then the phone. I gave him ten dollars too much, but I told him not to worry about the change. My next stop was to get cigars. I glanced down at my vibrating phone and saw that my aunt Sheila was calling. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. During one of the worst times of my life, I didn’t have my parents to go to, a significant other, or a best friend. An angry chuckle pushed from my throat. It was all good though. I had a sister, two aunts, three uncles, and a set of grandparents that had been checking on a nigga. Whether I had one person in my corner or one hundred it didn’t make too much of a difference. All I really wanted was Caprice, and all of the hugs in the world, empathetic tears, kind words, and extra weed wasn’t going to bring her back.
I couldn’t even recall the last time I’d eaten, so I grabbed some snacks from the store. I didn’t have an appetite, but I felt bad enough. The last thing that I needed to be battling was a hunger induced headache. The cashier attempted to make small talk, but the only thing she got from me was head nods and grunts. I wanted to be left the fuck alone. Back at home, I tossed back a shot of tequila before rolling two blunts. I sat out on the porch and smoked thinking about how I’d never again see Caprice running, laughing, and playing in the yard. I had just finished my blunt when my eyes narrowed at the car pulling up in my driveway. I had to be hallucinating. The weed I smoked was surely playing tricks on me because there was no way in hell this nigga was bold enough to pull up at my crib.
But sure as shit, Dolph got out of his vehicle looking the way I felt. There was stubble on his face, and his eyes were low and red. He looked like he was going through it, and I didn’t give one single solitary fuck. My chest heaved up and down as his cowardly ass walked in my direction at a snail’s pace. It took every bit of restraint I had to stay planted in my seat.
“Capri man, I wanted to reach out. I know you’re mad, bro, and you have every right to be. I just had to come to you like a man an” that did it.
Dolph’s bitch ass actually looked me in the face and said he had to come to me like a man. That was the funniest thing that I’d heard in my life. I hopped up out of my seat faster than he could blink and rocked him with a right hook. A two piece followed, and the uppercut I sent his way knocked his ass off the porch.
“Like a man?” I jogged down the steps and sneered at him. “Like a muhfuckin’ man?” I kicked him in the side. “Who’s a man? ‘Cus it surely isn’t yo’ flaw ass,” I kicked him once again. “Get yo’ bitch ass up,” I gritted grabbing him by his collar. “I want you on your feet for this ass whooping.”
Dolph ended up on his knees. He was holding his side and struggling to breathe. I hit him again so hard that my knuckles cracked. The next blow sent blood pouring from his nose. The blow after that knocked him back on the ground. I stomped Dolph in the stomach just as another car pulled up in the yard, but I ignored it. I grabbed Dolph’s mangled face and squeezed his jaws.
“You’ve been smiling in my face this whole time knowing Caprice could have been yours. Sitting in my house. Playing with my child. I broke bread with yo’ ass,” I squeezed harder wishing I could break his face. “You’s a foul ass nigga.”
“Capri please stop.” Robin pulled at my arm, and I looked over my shoulder at her.
“Get your hands off me.” That was the only warning that she was going to get. Her mother stood off to the side watching.
“This isn’t the answer, Capri. Please, stop,” she ignored my words.
I let Dolph’s face go and stood up straight. When her hand remained on my arm, I pushed her. I didn’t push her nearly as hard as I could have, but I was strong, and I was angry. The light shove made her made her stumble a bit.
“Don’t put your hands on her!” Her mother yelled.
“Get the fuck out of my yard then,” I spat as I walked towards her. With wide eyes, Robin’s mother took a few steps back. “I didn’t invite any of you muhfuckas over here. Your daughter is dead to me. There isn’t shit in this house that belongs to her anymore, so get the fuck on.”
“My baby still has a lot of stuff here, Capri. I want her things. You can’t keep them all,” she cried.
“Watch me,” I gritted. “Ninety percent of the shit in that room, I paid for. Fuck out my face.”
“Capri, that isn’t right,” her mother stated in a low tone. I could tell she was afraid and didn’t want to piss me off too much, but she was taking up for her hoe ass daughter.
“There’s a lot of shit that isn’t right, and I have to deal with it. I’m going in the house, and I’m getting my gun. Anybody that’s still in my yard when I get back, is going to hell tonight. I promise you that shit.”
Robin’s mother tossed a look of contempt my way as Dolph peeled himself up off the ground. I went in the house and didn’t even bother to get my gun because I knew they were leaving. Every last one of them knew what I was capable of. I didn’t care about any missed calls or text messages, but I grabbed my phone anyway. My heart slammed into my ribcage as I saw that I had an email notification from the lab I got the DNA test done at. Weak. I felt weak again as I stood to walk over to the bar. I needed alcohol just to open the message. This weak ass nigga was foreign to me.
After swallowing the potent liquid, I stood at the bar and unlocked my phone. I choked back a sob as I read the results clear as day. Caprice was my child. She was my biological child. Another shot. And then another one before I finally stumbled into her room and fell onto her bed. The bed smelled like her. Like baby powder and something sweet. Weak. I was growing weaker by the second because the only thing that kept me from actually getting my gun and taking myself out was the fact that I passed out on Caprice’s bed.