THREE
It’s been two days since that dreadful class. I used to love literature and all that comes with reading and deciphering the books, but I don’t think I’ll enjoy it as much this time around. He is terrifying, and still, he hasn’t left my mind. Even now at work, I keep replaying his petty actions in my head.
Why was he that awful? And why me? Sure, Johanna was loud, but there were a lot of other students whispering all around, and he didn’t even care. He kept his focus on me the whole time.
Despite this, all other subjects have been amazing. It’s everything I ever imagined. Every assignment that has been given has me eager to start it—even though I’m sure I’ll be crying in around a month or so.
Shilah breaks me from my trance. “Willow? A few customers have arrived at my table area, but Xico needs my help. Can you cover them?”
The crowd’s out and about tonight. All of the bright yellow booths are occupied, and new food plates keep coming out. Even the modern grey stools by the main counter are occupied with people eating. It doesn’t even look like we’re in the middle of the week. It’s almost as bad as the weekends.
“Of course. I’m on it.”
Secretly, the work is welcomed. Anything to keep my mind off these running thoughts. The couple is already seated in one of the booths, so I quickly attend to their drinks while letting them choose what to eat. Even though I’m fairly new here, this has been the kind of work I have been doing since before Dylan was born, so the agility to get things done is there.
When I got to Nana’s, I was determined to still get a job—even if just a temporary one, while already pregnant. And then as soon as he was six months old, I went back to work. Only part time at the beginning, and then full time after I graduated.
Working and studying online while still taking care of a newborn was the hardest time of my life. Especially before even turning eighteen. It was exhausting, but looking back now…it has been rewarding.
After giving the couple their drinks, I make haste to clean one of the booths that just became free when the entrance’s bell rings.
Once it’s spotless, I straighten and turn around to allow the client to sit down, running into a hard chest. The impact robs me of my almost non-existent balance as I hit my hip on the table in the process. But then, strong hands steady me. Flinching at the foreigner’s hold, I look up and…freeze.
Professor Adell.
“Uhm, I am s-sorry,” I stutter, stepping out of his firm grasp.
With an ever-present frown on his face, he nods. Then he proceeds to walk past me and sit down at the closest table, completely dismissing me.
Shilah did an amazing job with the decoration. It’s modern and sleek, but with such a pop of colour with the yellow items. The walls are a bright white and the floor just a shade darker in a light grey tone.
The chandeliers are disco balls instead, but the leather benches of the booths are yellow like the flowers decorating the tables. I love it.
A displeased grumble resonates next to me, bringing my attention back to the grumpy man sitting down on one of those booths. He’s squinting at the disco balls with disgust before his eyes slide back to me.
Great, he still hates me.
Not letting my emotions get the best of me, I give him the food menu and ask, “While you choose, can I bring you something to drink?”
“Huh?” He looks up at me with furrowed eyebrows.
“What will you want to drink, sir?” I repeat.
His shoulders slump slightly, and his expression goes back to the expression I have seen most of the time during class.
“Just water,” he breathes.
Not even losing another second, I turn around, scurrying off to bring him his water. My hands sweat, and my heart skyrockets as I look for the bottle of water. If he hates me at school, what will he say or do now that he knows where I work? Just the idea makes me anxious, not letting me focus completely on my task.
Where are the freaking water bottles?
Hopefully, he’ll be more polite tonight than he was at school. Right? It’s my job after all…He’ll be considerate. Or not? What if it just makes him act worse? Ugh, what am I going to do?
“Hmm, that one’s quite handsome, honey,” Shilah whispers, making me jump at the unexpected sound of her voice from behind me.
“Yeah, and he’s also my professor,” I moan.
She whistles slowly before adding, “Damn, and here I thought I had found you some boyfriend material.”
“Don’t play matchmaker on me, Shilah. All I want from men is distance.” She just shrugs her shoulders at me, probably meaning ‘your choice’, and I finally find the water bottle he has asked for.
“How long does it take to bring me some water?” Is the first thing that comes out of his mouth when I get to his table.
Certainly not nicer. Nope. Asshole it is, apparently.
Silently, I place it on the table, avoiding eye contact for as long as I can. When I finally give in, amusement whirls around his brown irises along with a mischievous smile.
“I-I apologise. I just started a few days ago and still get confused about where to find what.” I do my best to keep a kind smile. “Have you chosen what to eat?”
“So, you’re new at this job?” He completely ignores my previous question.
“Ahm, yes,” I say quickly. “Actua—”
“I am curious now. What made a girl like you search for this kind of job?” He cuts me off, and my head reels back in shock.
“Excuse me?”
“You don’t seem the type of girl who would spend her time working. As a waitress on top of that.”
I feel the heat creep up my neck right onto my cheeks. The embarrassment. What’s wrong with being a waitress? It’s honest work and honest money. His eyes lower, noticing my reaction. The proof of his amusement is in his smirk. How can a person who’s supposed to help his students improve and develop their intellectual capacities be this horrid?
I won’t retort. At this moment, he’s a client, not to mention he’s also my teacher.
With shaking hands, I bring my notebook up and face him. “What can I get you, sir?”
His jaw clenches, and his eyes close before he grits out, “Just a burger with fries, please. Extra cheese.”
I write down and nod as I prepare to leave. This man must be miserable to try and reassure himself of someone else’s misery. This next semester will be hell, for sure. All his handsomely evil face promises are ruthlessness and loathing.
“Wait!” His hand hastily grabs my wrist, pulling me back. “Can you bring me another water?”
I flinch at the sudden touch, shadows from the past quickly creeping in and quickening my heart. He seems to realise with the way his eyes widen. Just as quickly as he grabbed me, he lets go.
“Sorry.” He looks down, not meeting my eyes.
“Sure,” I breathe out.
Keep your distance and it’ll be okay, Willow.
The problem is, I always have. And look how that worked out for me. It brought me here, a teen mum starting college at twenty-two. The memories that this thought brings make my heartbeat spike and my breath hitch.
Heading to where Shilah is, I hand her the paper and ask for my ten-minute break. She seems to notice—or read my mind—because she doesn’t even hesitate to agree.
“Thank you,” I squeak before heading to the back room, locking myself in.
Secluded from the rest of the world, in this bare grey room, my brain reproduces the one thing I dread the most. His voice.
Come on, Lo. You’ll like it.
It’s as if time stopped all of those years ago. Sometimes, it feels like I am still there, trapped. Not only do I hear him, but I can also see and smell him. More times than I’d like to admit.
“No, no,” I whisper to myself. “Don’t remember.”
Shutting my eyes, my fingers start to massage my scalp in an attempt to relax and send the bad memories away.
Dylan. Think about Dylan. My baby boy, my treasure.
A couple of sobs escape my throat, making it difficult for me to forget. I will never forget it, not really. But by now, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. So long has passed, you’d think the pain would have eased, but it hasn’t.
It never goes away. I just need to learn how to live with it.
From the pocket in my apron, I take a napkin to blow my nose. Now unclogged, it allows me to focus on my breathing to calm down.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I need to grow a thicker skin, once and for all.
A knock on the door startles me, and I run to unlock it.
“Everything okay, darling?” Shilah peeks through the door.
“Yeah, sorry. I am just nervous; you know, being new and all…” I give her a weak smile. “Are my ten minutes up?”
She nods and gives me a warm smile. “No need to be nervous; you’re doing wonderful.”
I thank her for her kind words before heading back to work. It’s busier, and I end up running around the diner, serving the clients and refilling the drinks every time I notice the empty cups. Half an hour goes by, and I’m glad I’m able to avoid Professor Adell.
Unfortunately, that’s as far as my good luck goes. With Shilah telling me she’s going to the restrooms, I notice him finishing up his meal. The obnoxiously loud sound of the cutlery feels on purpose, but I try my best to ignore it. Right then, his hand raises, and I take a deep breath.
Here we go.
“How was everything?” My hands twist in each other, anxiety building up again.
“Good,” he answers with a light shrug.
“Would you like some dessert?”
“I’d like the check, please.”
“Sure.” I nod and head to the register to close his tab. When I bring it back to him, I place it on the table. “Here.” Thankfully, before he can say anything else, another couple calls me. “I’ll be right back.”
With a coffee request, I quickly serve them. From the corner of my eye, I see Professor Adell placing money inside the leather case and politely excusing himself. He stands to meet me when I’ve finished serving the couple.
“Never took you for the type of girl who would study and work at the same time.” He presses on the work subject again.
“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Professor Adell. It only shows that your assumptions about me are shallow...and well,wrong.”
I give him a tight-lipped smile at the end. My voice might have come out softer than it was supposed to, but I mean…it’s progress seeing that I am shaking like a leaf on the inside.
“I guess we’ll see. Won’t we?” He smirks before walking off abruptly.
What?
I just stand there dumbfounded. His expression this time around wasn’t all about anger or distaste. It was more like amusement.
Huffing, I pick up the leather case and bring it to the register to put the money in. When I open it, I notice that from atwenty-euro meal, he just left a thirty-euro tip.
What in the…
“There’s something seriously wrong with this man,” I mumble to myself.
“Who, dear?” Shilah asks from the kitchen door, behind me.
“Just a rude customer. But look, he left us a thirty-euro tip.” I wave the bill in front of her.
“No way. You know the rules. What’s yours is yours. If he gave you that much, it is because you deserved it! You’ve been doing great!”
“Oh god. Thank you so, so much.” I hug her tightly.
It might not be much, but all the money I can make will better help me with the bills… Uni, to help Nana, and especially care for Dylan.
Once my shift ends, I do my best to leave as much done as I can so they don’t have too much work when it’s closing time, then drive home to find Dylan asleep on my bed. I am so exhausted that I don’t have the energy to carry him to his. Instead, I put my pyjamas on and snuggle in bed, bringing him close to me.
He automatically latches onto my body, and I sigh in relief at the feeling of his warmth on my chest. He might be young and little, but he holds such power over me. Dylan calms down my racing heart and gives peace to my restless soul.
He’s the only place I feel truly safe.