Back to Willow (Back Series Book 1)

SIXTEEN

Five seconds. That was all it took for Shilah to understand something was wrong and to give me the night off when I called her. Without realising it, she took a huge weight off my shoulders because it was going to be a challenge to get there and endure the night.

My body and brain are overwhelmed. There are some demons which I have learned are better left dormant, and that’s the main reason I ran away from him again. I’m not ready to face mine. Not yet.

With burning lungs and jelly legs, I flop down on the first bench I set eyes on. Thank god for Nina for taking Dylan for a few hours. At this point, I need some time to calm down.

Deep and slow breaths. I’m here, by myself, with nothing but the rushed sounds of the city lulling me to peace. The wind blows, and the cars drive by, creating the perfect frame. From high up here, the river sets the city’s scenery, mixing with the street lamps that flicker on as the sun sets lower.

It’s a beautiful view. A strong contrast to the ugly ones afflicting my mind. Seeing Liam and trying—failing—to talk to him about our past has brought memories back. And not the best kind.

Wondering how he would react to everything reminds me exactly of the moment that my parents realised I was pregnant.

“You will have an abortion,” my mother stated icily.

As if it weren’t enough, but I didn’t blame them. Not when I hadn’t been able to utter a word about that night. Everyone had realised that something had happened; I was so affected I got a fever the day after…If only my parents had been as understanding as Jake was when I refused to talk.

Refusing to talk or see the police or go to the hospital had not worked in my favour. Deep down, I knew it was frustrating on their part, wanting to help me and being unable to, but it led to ugly words that made it harder than it ever could be.

The cold shoulder, the disgust…

As if I didn’t feel disgusted enough with myself.

“Mum, I will get a job. You won’t have to spend a penny on it!” I countered.

“Are you crazy? You are sixteen. If you don’t get one of your own volition, I will sign for you to have one. Don’t forget, you’re still a minor!” Her high-pitched voice reverberated through the living room, threatening to pierce my eardrums.

“I won’t do it!”

My eyes slid to my father, silently seated next to where my mum was before she stood up, screaming. His face and neck were red, and the veins were popping out—the only sign of his anger. Regret hit me as soon as I looked at him.

For a long while, he was who I’d run off to for reassurance, for protection and now…the only person who had shown to be by my side was my brother.

He was the only one who saw the real state I was in when I got home that night. Who took care of my fever when I refused to go to the hospital, and the only one who had been sleeping on my bedroom floor just to wake me from my nightmares.

I wished I hadn’t burdened him with this…it was visible in the weight he’d lost and the worry that looked back at me every day from his irises, not to mention the paler tone of his skin and the deep bags under his eyes. I was tearing them apart, ruining my family.

And still, from the moment I found out I was pregnant, two days before that conversation, he was nothing but supportive. There was a hidden pain in his eyes when he learned and a sad smile when I told him I wanted to keep it despite the…circumstances.

“Where have we failed, huh?” My mum’s body slumped back down on the couch, a defeated tone etched on her voice.

“You didn’t,” I answered.

I did.

But this baby wasn’t at fault, and I couldn’t bring myself to just get rid of it. Get rid of something—soon to be someone—who was going to be half mine. Even knowing that the procedure had always been a polemic subject worldwide, it was a no-brainer to me.

Each woman should have the right to decide what to do. Just like I did, and I chose to keep it. To keep him.

“Well,” she started, swiping her tongue over her teeth in that obnoxious way she always did when things didn’t go her way. “I won’t sit here and watch you destroy your life. If you want to stick to that decision, you won’t be living under my roof anymore.”

Despite her harshness, I gasped in shock. I was expecting a severe grounding or being forced to work, but never to be thrown out of their house when I needed them the most.

“No way!” Jake, who had been silent until then, stood up in a flash, stepping in front of me. “She’s sixteen. You can’t do that!”

“If she is grown up enough to get pregnant and birth a kid at sixteen, she is old enough to find a roof, get a job, and raise it!” Without giving my brother time to answer, she turned to me and continued, “You have twenty-four hours to get out of my house.”

The memories swirl in my brain, reminding me of some of the most painful moments, but a strong and gruff voice breaks me from my forced reverie.

“Willow?” It’s familiar, and it makes me shiver as realisation settles.

Not again.

In a hasty attempt to wipe the tears away from my face, I rub my sleeve underneath my eyes. I was so deep in thought I never even noticed him getting closer to me.

“Professor Adell,” I breathe out in panic. “Wha-what are you doing here?”

“I just left work.” He points behind him, and sure enough, on the other side of the road, I can recognize a few of the university’s buildings.

Oh.

It still makes me uneasy, though. The last thing I need right now is for him to mock me for catching me bawling my eyes out in the middle of a deserted street.

He moves to sit down next to me, and I can’t help but jump to the opposite side of the bench, keeping as much distance between us as possible. My brain is still on shaky grounds, with one foot in the past and the other in the present. One little trigger and the dam will break.

If I’m uncomfortable with the touch of my childhood best friend and boyfriend, I sure as hell am not ready to be touched by anyone other than my son.

A moment of silence stretches, and my body heats up with the feeling of his eyes on me, though he does not attempt to get closer or touch me—thankfully.

“Are you alright?” His voice comes out in a soft tone.

Such a different one from what I am used to from him. This one is comforting and soothing, the exact opposite of his hostile demeanour from before.

“I am, thank you.” I give him a weak smile, mentally holding my breath for his answer. He will call me out on my bullshit.

Instead, he surprises me by steering off the dreadful subject. “You’re not working today?”

“Not today.” I sigh. “But I have to go, though. I have to pick Dylan up soon.” I sigh before standing up.

“Huh…” he hesitates, standing and slowly looking around us. “How are you going? Do you need a ride?”

“I–I don’t want to be any hassle. It’s just a short walk up to my car.” Hopefully, he’ll let it go.

“Well, I’ll walk you to your car, then.” His big hand scratches the back of his neck. “It’s getting dark, and I’d be worried.”

My mouth opens as I go to refuse his offer, and he shakes his head, cutting me off. “I’m not taking a no for an answer.”

I nod. “Thank you.” All that comes out is a broken whisper before we start walking side by side.

As we walk in silence, I start to regret accepting his offer because I obviously ran a longer distance than I realised.

“Sorry,” I blurt out. “It’s a little further than I thought.”

“Good thing I offered to walk you, then.” His lips turn up slightly in a subtle but obvious smile. A kind one.

Heat creeps up my neck, straight to my cheeks, and I look away almost immediately, focusing on something else.

The sky colours change from light to dark as the sun sets far away on the horizon. And as the streetlights start to take over the illumination, I understand what he meant by getting worried. With the twilight, the city feels emptier and more dangerous.

Even though Portugal is one of the safest countries in the world, awful things will always happen—even where you feel safe—and when you least expect them.

I would know.

“So…” his voice interrupts my wandering thoughts, and for once, I appreciate it.

I was about to go down a dark path. Again.

“Why did you decide on elementary teaching for your degree?” Professor Adell asks, glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.

It’s a much-appreciated distraction. Can this man read minds?

“Well,” I start, keeping my sight on the street ahead of us. “I’ve always wanted to be a biologist, but Dylan changed my mind.” Sweet memories of baby Dylan swarm my mind, etching a smile to my lips.

“How so?” He cocks an eyebrow, making his curiosity obvious.

It’s confusing, really. How is this man beside me the same one who used to taunt and pick on me? Surely, they can’t be the same.

He used to be cold, rude, and arrogant, but now…his eyes seem pained, and his voice sounds soft. It’s like the Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde case—two personalities within one body.

“Willow?” his husky voice snaps me out of my thoughts once again.

“Ahm, sorry. I’m just a little bit in my head tonight.” He nods, seemingly understanding. “What made me change my mind was my son. When he started walking and talking…I still can’t explain the feeling. He was and still is the best part of my days. And teaching him everything, I just fell in love with it. Doing it with other kids means I am making a difference in their lives and in future generations. Makes me feel useful like I have a purpose.”

Another silence stretches as I wait for his reaction, and when it doesn’t come, I look at him, just to find him looking at me with a weird expression on his face. For the first time tonight, things turn awkward. His deep gaze makes it feel like he is looking right through me.

“Professor Adell?”

He shakes his head before letting out a barely there hum, and when he finally looks back at me, he seems to have recollected himself.

“Sorry,” he apologises with a shy smile.

This man seems to have smiled more tonight than his whole life combined. Which is a shame because he has one hell of a smile.

“If that is how you feel about it, then you chose the right profession,” he comments.

I know. In a parallel universe, I might still be a biologist, but in this one…I was meant for this. Even if it hurt too much to get to this point, everything was still worth it because I have Dylan.

Having him was the best choice I made amid all the chaos. He became my anchor, my reason to keep going.

“Thank you. And what about you? What made you want to be a literature teacher?” I prod in the same way he has.

“Well, believe it or not, I was this scrawny, shy nerd when I was a kid that had no friends, and reading books was my bonding time with the only friend I ever had. My sister.”

His statement makes my jaw fall wide open. How could this tall and muscular guy have been scrawny? I find it hard to believe that a small, shy kid transformed into this...monster!

“I know it’s hard to believe. I did grow up a lot,” he chuckles. “But bookworm was—and still is—my middle name. Literature became a passion…so much so that I learned four languages just so I could read my favourite books in all of them. It’s fascinating to see the differences the languages add or take from a book.”

He avoids my eyes as he talks, but it’s palpable. The little glint in his irises, and the subtle giddiness in his voice…he is exuding passion, and it’s fascinating how someone I deemed as cold and robotic shows so much passion for books and literature.

Just then, we reach the parking lot where my car is. The café where I met with Liam earlier is now much emptier. The lamp lights are dim but strong enough to give a good view of the street surrounding us. The iconic grey of the stone used in the city’s buildings makes it seem much darker than it really is, but it doesn’t make it less beautiful.

“This is me,” I say once I stop close to my car. “Thanks for walking me, Professor Adell.” I give him a shy smile before taking my car keys from my bag.

“No problem.” He smiles while putting his hands in his pockets. “Are you feeling better?”

“Surprisingly, I am!” And partly because of you—is what crosses my mind but I don’t dare say it.

Then he smiles widely for the hundredth time tonight, and it’s dazzling. It throws me off my game, hypnotising me to his handsome features.

“I’m glad,” he admits. “I’ll see you in class.”

I start turning around when his voice stops me.

“Wait,” he calls, and I turn around to face him again. “Just know that with college, work, and Dylan, I can help however you need. Don’t hesitate and ask, please.”

My eyes widen at his words. What?

“I–I don’t think…”

“Think of it as me making up to you for treating you like shit at first,” he answers quietly. “I won’t take no for an answer.”

Not wanting to argue, I robotically nod and mumble a thank you before getting in my car. Even after I rev the engine and drive off, I can still see him from the rearview mirror, standing in the same spot, waiting for me to leave.

This change in his demeanour gives me serious whiplash and knowing what to do or how to react is tricky. Although, I’d be lying if I said I don’t like this change in attitude because I do.

I guess Professor Prick is not a prick after all…