Chapter 16
What had started as an okay day quickly ended up going downhill. I’ll admit, it had been immature to avoid Chad during classes. If I had known he would show up at my door, I wouldn’t have. Here he was, standing on my porch. I really didn’t feel like talking to him. Even if the sex had been rather enjoyable, if a bit sloppy, it had been nice while being drunk. Now that I was completely sober, I knew that was something I wouldn’t do again.
“What are you doing here?”
His eyes lit up like a damn Christmas tree as he saw me approaching. “Evy! How are you?”
Things would be better if you didn’t show up at my door just because you got laid… Instead of speaking my mind, I plastered a polite smile on my face, which felt forced and unconvincing to me. Yet Chad didn’t seem to understand.
“Good. And you?”
“Good.”
I waited a whole two seconds to see if he would add anything. Chad flashed me a smile. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t charming. Under other circumstances, it might have given me butterflies. It just wasn’t, well, him .
I took a deep breath. “So, what are you doing in front of my door?”
Had he been that charming that the concierge let him in?
“Let’s go on a date.”
I blinked once. I hate this. “Why…?”
No, Taylor, karma wasn’t a cat purring in my lap. It was a rabid dog made from my bad decisions, ready to bite me in the ass.
“Because we like each other.”
For a heartbeat, I was too stunned to speak. How was it not obvious that I didn’t care? I wasn’t subtle per se about the fact that I wasn’t interested. If he was so dense, I felt bad that I was about to break his bubble of hope. My fake smile faltered.
“We do?”
“Would you like to go out with me tonight?”
I looked around the hall. I had to find something. This poor boy was too sweet.
“Oh, you know, I am very busy. I don’t think…”
“Well, tomorrow then?”
“No, look, I really don’t think…”
How do you tell someone to fuck off without hurting their feelings?
“Babe!”
Babe?! Danté appeared in the hall and sauntered to me. The very reason why I had bothered taking Chad home. Before I could answer something cohesive, he leaned in and kissed me. From all the fake scenarios I had in my head, this was not one of the ways that I had imagined it would happen. His lips were warm and soft, and he pressed another kiss to my mouth. My traitorous body kissed him back without even hesitating. Then he pulled away ever so slightly.
“Is he bothering you?” he whispered in my ear.
I nodded, breathless. What bothered me the most was that Danté looked fine. Not the slightest bit wound up.
“If you can help me, I’ll do anything.”
One of his eyebrows shot up. A catlike smile crept up his face. “Anything?”
This was so going to come back to bite me in the ass. That was a problem for future me.
“Yep.”
Danté turned back to Chad, his most charming smile in place. He took Chad’s hand in his. Danté easily towered ten centimetres over him.
“Hey. I’m Danté.”
Chad’s face turned beet red. Even more than my own cheeks were.
“Oh, uhm hi.”
“Was my girlfriend bothering you?”
My girlfriend . The words were so simple, and fake. They didn’t stop my heart from making a flip at how it sounded when Danté said it. Those very same words that made heat spread in my chest were a cold shower for Chad. The poor guy looked so confused I felt bad for him.
“Girlfriend? But we…”
Danté looked back at me. A smug smile appeared on his lips as he raised an eyebrow. I could practically hear him say “Oooooh, you nasty”. My cheeks reddened even more, if that was still possible. Making fun of his sex life was our running joke. Danté doing the same with me was something I hadn’t really seen coming, or something I had wanted to see happening either. I already knew that this would follow me until the day I died.
“We’re in an open relationship. You can join us anytime you want.”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. How was he so good at this? Wait . Was Danté just such a good comedian, or was that something he was truly into? If he was, he could count me in. A threesome had always been on my secret bucket list.
“Uhm, thanks? I am sorry. I didn’t know you were dating. If I did, I wouldn’t have asked you out.”
Chad waved awkwardly and went for the stairs. I let out a sigh of relief, until Chad turned back to me, a puzzled look in his eyes.
“That night, you said you felt lonely and in need of love.”
Had I? I could feel Danté laugh quietly while I wanted to disappear underground. What the hell? Think, Evy!
“Oh, yeah… He was out of town that week. I tend to feel lonely very easily.”
Liar liar, slutty dress on fire! I could almost hear Lucifer yell it to my face. For a brief second, I hesitated between running back inside my apartment or hitting my head against the wall. Chad looked as if he wasn’t sure he believed me. Danté saw it too. His arms tightened around my waist, tugging me closer.
“Dude, enough.”
His voice dropped so low I barely heard it. Goosebumps made my skin pimple. This time, Chad knew too that Danté’s friendliness had reached its limit. Once Chad was finally gone, Danté turned to me.
“You alright?”
“Yeah, it’s my fault.”
He raised an eyebrow, silently questioning me.
“I never sleep with someone I know. This time I did.”
“Why did you do it?”
Danté’s heart had a steady beat, and I let my head rest against it. This was nice. He started rubbing soft circles on my back, and my eyes fluttered closed. He was so warm, his smell so soothing.
“Because like he said, I felt lonely that night. And he was there. Isn’t that why you bring girls here?”
I didn’t mean it as a jab. Sometimes I really wondered why there were so many girls. Did Danté also feel lonely? Did he also try to fill a void with attention and physical contact?
“No, I just do it for sex.”
Of course he did. Then the realization hit me. I was still hugging Danté. And he let me cling to him like a monkey. Worse. His arms were still wrapped around my waist. My cheeks heated.
“Oh my gosh!” I stammered as I let him go. “I didn’t mean to cling to you like this.”
Danté put his hands in his jeans. How could he be so calm about this? He rolled his eyes as if I was being overdramatic. While over here, my heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to explode.
“Don’t take yourself so seriously, Squirrel.”
Right. His attitude felt like a sudden, very cold shower.
“Well, I am not you,” I snapped. “I usually don’t hug and fuck every person I meet.”
The words had left my mouth before I had even taken the time to process them. Danté’s mouth formed a tight line. I had fucked up. Once again.
“You know, I could just have let you deal with that person on your own, if I bothered you that much.”
Then he walked back to his door. I grabbed the back of his t-shirt.
“No please, wait! I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.”
Danté waited. I breathed in, trying to stomp down my temper. He had not deserved that blow.
“Thank you for helping me. I mean it.”
But it wasn’t enough.
“Sure.”
Danté didn’t even look back as he went inside his apartment. Stupid! Why am I like this? I groaned and hit my head against the wall, then groaned even louder as pain flashed through my skull. Something clicked behind me. If this wasn’t life giving me lemons and squeezing the juice in my self-inflicted wounds.
“Put some ice on that forehead of yours,” Danté said. “Or it will bruise.”
I sighed, still looking at the wall.
“Great.”
***
Part of me was surprised to see Danté walk inside our café. He had been coming here for years, especially since he got a full-time job and a full-time salary. It shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone to see one of our most loyal and regular customers walk in on a Tuesday. But I was. Yes, our coffee was good, and our pastries were awesome too, if I do say so myself, but was it so good that he kept coming back and partaking in the pay check I got at the end of every month even though I was a bitch? He stopped at the counter, and Chloe greeted him without going back to take his order. She just vanished inside the kitchen.
I flashed Danté a bright smile. “Good morning, how are you?”
My too-cheerful voice made me cringe. Danté raised a single inquisitive eyebrow.
“Are you in pain?” he asked instead.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re never this happy to see me.”
“Of course I am! You’re my favourite customer.”
He snorted, leaning against the counter. “Is this your way of wanting to make up for being an asshole?”
I gulped. I wasn’t used to Danté putting me in my place. My smile wavered, but I accepted the blow. It was fair. I had lashed out because I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings.
“You’re right,” I admitted quietly. “I was awful.”
“You were.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Danté’s eyes bore holes through my skull. He crossed his arms, not believing me. “You didn’t mean to say hurtful things?”
My heartbeat was loud in my ears. Hurtful . I had hurt the person I wanted. All he had done was help me and I had hurt him. My vision blurred at the edges. I pulled at my ponytail.
“I never mean to say hurtful things, but I always do. I truly am sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
I bit my lip to keep from bawling my eyes out. Danté smiled. His somber mood had melted like snow in the sun.
“Stop panicking, Squirrel. We’re good.”
“We are?”
“We are now.”
I breathed out loudly as I felt all the tension leave my body. I felt like Jell-O. My eyes were still prickling, so I blinked rapidly to keep myself from crying. Danté stepped behind the counter and gave me a bear hug.
“I didn’t peg you for such a softie, Squirrel.”
“I’m sorry.”
His hand caressed my hair, making me sniffle. My arms moved on their own, and I found myself hugging him back.
“I know.”
Chloe’s head peaked out of the door. Her brows scrunched together, but she stayed away. Danté rubbed my back before walking back to where the customers were supposed to stand.
I patted my eyes with a napkin and inhaled deeply before putting on my customer smile. “Can I take your order?”
“A large cappuccino and a blueberry muffin.”
That wasn’t the same order as usual. Danté snickered as I hesitantly put the order in the computer.
“Are you feeling adventurous today?”
“A bit more sugar to brighten up my day. You should try it.”
“I will.”
He took his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans, and I shook my head. I couldn’t ask him to pay, not after what just happened.
“It’s on me.”
Danté opened his mouth to protest, so I glowered at him. He ended up putting his wallet back. “Alright. When is your break?”
Well, if this day wasn’t a roller coaster of emotions. I peeked at my watch. “In fifteen minutes.”
“Want me to wait for you?”
I kept from yelling yes and nodded instead. I quickly went into the kitchen. Chloe looked up from the dishes she was putting back.
“Can I take my break now?”
“It depends. Is it for Danté?”
“Yes…?”
Her smirk turned catlike. “Then please do!”
She pushed me out of the kitchen and took my place behind the counter. Danté’s eyebrows shot up, but if he had a comment, he kept it to himself. We sat down in a booth with two cappuccinos and his blueberry muffin.
“Do you make these?”
“Chloe does. I only make the chocolate cake and the lemon cake.”
Kristen baked most of the stuff, but Chloe and I had been given some extra stuff. Since they let me eat my fair share of pastries and drink my weight in tea and coffee, I had accepted without hesitation.
“You’re not eating,” he simply stated.
“I already ate a piece of cake earlier, so I’ve had my treat today.”
Eating sugar so early on tended to imbalance my mood and food cravings, but I had needed some sweetness to make my guilt more bearable. Had I known that I would spend my break with him, I would’ve waited. It would’ve been nice if we could share our pastries.
Danté rolled his eyes. “Of course you did.”
“You say that as if it’s bad to be reasonable.”
“It’s certainly not bad. But I think it would do you some good to be anything but reasonable.”
That oddly sounded like something Jasmine told me not that long ago. I relaxed in my chair.
“I lash out at people when I feel like it. So that’s my balance, I suppose.”
“How about you stop lashing out, and enjoy life a bit more?”
Wasn’t Danté already the part of my life I couldn’t control? That was something I couldn’t tell him. He had drawn me into a corner, and he knew it. A knowing smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. I wanted to kiss the smugness off his face.
“Good luck with that.”
“Is that a challenge?”
I smirked back. “Maybe.”