Chapter 21
Eleanor: you fucked up.
The words danced before my eyes. It felt like my insides became hollow, and my hands started trembling. It was so unlike Eleanor to be this cold through message. I guess I deserved it after what happened yesterday.
Evy: I know
I waited a minute, then two minutes. When I finally let the phone fall back on my bed, certain there would be no answer, the screen lit up again. My hands turned clammy.
Eleanor: You better plan a great apology because Mom’s inconsolable
What had I expected? Of course they would scold me for my behaviour. It was silly to hope that my sister would understand. The three dots on the screen went up and down.
Eleanor: Are you going to reply? I know you read my message
Evy: I don’t know what to do
Eleanor: Are you okay?
Evy: No…
Eleanor: Do you wanna talk?
It was selfish, but I knew that talking to Eleanor would only make me feel worse. As long as I didn’t apologize, she would still be mad at me. Perhaps it was also better for her to not be stuck between me and our parents.
Evy: Not right now
Eleanor: Fine. Call Mom when you’ve calmed down.
I rubbed my cheeks dry and took a deep breath. They would have to wait a bit longer because I was not ready to make that call just yet. This time, I would call the shots, even if that meant I would go to hell.
***
The following days went by in a blur, mostly. Things were weird, and not at the same time. I spent most of my days studying, whether it was at mine or Danté’s place. He had given me his key, even when he went to work. At first, it felt intrusive to be here, especially since he also had a roommate. And even more since my own place was only on the other side of the hall. Luckily, Jared wasn’t here for the holidays, which gave me all the space one could need and more. It felt nice to be outside of my own apartment, which had started to feel stuffy after my little mental breakdown on Christmas Eve. That was how I had ended up on Danté’s couch with all my books, summaries, and my laptop. Staying the night was where we had both drawn the line, not that we ever spoke about it. Spending days together and falling asleep on the couch in each other’s arms was one thing, sharing a bed was another. Neither of us was ready to go there.
The door opened, and Danté went to put his coat on the hanger. When he turned, he seemed surprised to find me here. I had been here for the last three days, and yet he always seemed taken aback to find me roaming around the place. He had been the one to give me a spare key, so no take-backsies.
“Honey, I’m home.”
I grinned as he walked to the couch. Instead of simply removing my stuff, he looked at the course I was studying. Danté always seemed intrigued by what I was doing. He sat down on the coffee table in front of me.
“I can make space for you, you know.”
“S’alright. Keep studying.”
“I’m done for now.”
“Do you want me to interrogate you?”
I blinked at him before making a face. I expected him to say it as a joke, but he was dead serious. That was oddly endearing.
“I’ve been studying by myself since I was fourteen. There’s no need.”
“Are you sure? I don’t have anything better to do.”
I often forgot that he had been a student not that long ago. A student who had gotten two master’s degrees. I kind of liked the fact that he wanted to test me. Which was why I handed him the papers.
Half an hour later, he handed me back my course with some attention points written on it. I scowled at my summary.
Danté gave me an encouraging smile. “You still have plenty of time. Most students don’t start studying that early.”
“I know. I just don’t like it when it’s not perfect.”
“I noticed.”
Obviously, everyone noticed that. Maybe Jasmine was right and I was a control freak. His stomach grumbled.
“Let’s make you something to eat,” I offered.
We switched apartments since the only spices I could find in their pantry were salt, pepper, and paprika. Danté poured us both some rosé wine. Although it wasn’t my beverage of choice, it gave spending the night together a cosy feeling. I chopped some sweet potatoes to make oven fries while Danté kept interrogating me. He fell quiet when I made the dipping sauce. When I looked up, Danté was watching the chopping board suspiciously.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“That’s a whole lot of garlic.”
Garlic needed some time to infuse when it wasn’t cooked. I held back the comment, or he would call me a know-it-all. So I shrugged.
“It’s not like I’m going to kiss anyone today, or tomorrow.”
“You’re still going to stink,” he shot back.
I smiled wickedly at him. Danté raised a single brow.
“But so are you, so we’ll be stinky together.”
“What if I was planning on kissing someone?” he asked, falsely offended.
“Well, now you can’t, unless you’re planning on kissing me.”
I winked to give some more effect to my words. I wanted him to kiss me, but having him unable to kiss anyone else was a good enough start. Not that I was letting him leave me tonight. Did that make me psycho? Oh well. Danté leaned forward, letting his elbows rest on the kitchen island between us.
“When are you finally going to admit that you’re trying to sabotage my love life?”
“I can’t divulge to you all my plans. Otherwise, they won’t work.”
He raised his glass before taking a sip. Seeing Danté drink wine in my home was a sight I loved too much for it to be sane. As he smiled at me, I knew I wouldn’t walk out of this unscathed. Cheers to that.