Be My Forever

Chapter 39

I felt like a lion locked in a cage. My thoughts were getting out of control. It didn’t matter how many cups of chamomile I gulped down, or how many times I looked around the apartment to see if there was something to clean. My body was buzzing with anxious energy. What was I going to tell him? What would happen after tonight? All the questions made me dizzy. Was I mad at Danté for not telling me he was leaving? Fuck yes. Did I understand where he was coming from? Also yes. What he did was not enough for me to give up on him. I had been foolish to think that giving up on him had been the best thing to do.

My pulse resonated loudly in my ears – so loud I couldn’t hear Jasmine when she talked to me. She was supposed to study for her upcoming exam in two days, but instead of going back to her textbooks, she stayed by my side.

A knock made me jump from the couch, and my best friend disappeared down the hall. I swallowed before opening the door. My heart stuttered inside my ribcage. There he stood. Danté’s back was slightly hunched, and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days. The sadness in his eyes only made my own amplify.

“Hey,” he said in a hesitant voice.

My body moved on its own, and I wrapped my arms around his middle. Tears escaped as I felt the familiar warmth. Danté hesitated, and I stepped back before he could give back the embrace. I cleared my throat. Maybe he wasn’t here for the reason I hoped he was.

“Hey.”

I stepped aside to let him in. Danté took in the apartment, then turned to me.

“We need to talk.”

Would I still have the courage to tell him how I felt if I let him go first? If he was here just to finish the breakup that he had planned?

“Can I start?” I asked, rubbing my arm.

For a second it looked like he was about to throw up, but Danté nodded. He sat down on our couch and watched me, pale as a ghost. My heartbeat picked up an even faster rhythm than it was already playing.

“I am mad at you,” I blurted out. “Worse. I am absolutely furious and disappointed and heartbroken.”

He opened his mouth to talk back, but no sound came out. I laughed nervously.

“Actually, I’ve hated your guts for the last few weeks. You lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie,” he rasped out.

I raised a brow. “You lied by omission.”

He showed me his palms as if to say “Fair enough”. I let my back rest against the wall, watching his every move: the way he was leaning forward, ready to jump from the couch any moment, or the way he was wringing his hands. Maybe today would be the last time I saw him.

Which was why I said “I understand why you did it. I am sorry.”

Danté lifted his head, eyes wide. “What?”

“I am sorry if I made you feel like there was no room for you in the life I had planned. Because I would have chosen you.”

Tears ran down his cheek, and he buried his face in his hands. His breathing quickened. Hope bloomed in my chest. I didn’t know how things would go after tonight, but Danté loved me, that much was clear now. I couldn’t give up. I dropped to my knees in front of him and took away his hands. Little droplets clung to his lashes.

“Hey,” I whispered.

A wet laugh left him as he let his cheek rest in the palm of my hand. “Hey.”

“I love you. I have for years, actually. So if you still want me, I will choose you.”

He took me in his arms and buried his face in my neck; his stubble tickled my skin. The nervous beats of his heart made my own calm down. I rubbed my cheek against his collarbone. Then I remembered something.

“Why aren’t you on the plane?”

“I cancelled my trip.”

Dante let me go and finally sat back on the couch like he planned to stay. I sat back as well, crossing my legs.

“I couldn’t go. At least not as long as I hadn’t seen you.”

His fingers played with mine while he was thinking. His lashes cast shadows that deepened his dark circles even more. When his attention was back on me, I held my breath.

“These last weeks have been hard. I know I said I can’t do long-distance relationships, but I realized that missing you and still having you in my life is so much better than missing you and knowing I let you go. I want you, Evelyn Somers, more than anything. I’m not leaving until we figure something out.”

“I’ll come with you,” I said before I could think it through.

It didn’t matter. I knew I would follow Danté across the globe. Maybe not forever, but if he still wanted me, I would do it without any hesitation.

“Why would you do that?”

“I just told you. I love you.”

His brows creased into a frown. I wiggled on the floor. Had I misinterpreted him?

“Why aren’t you happy? You don’t want me to come?”

“Of course I want you to come. But do you want to go? Won't you regret it?”

I held his hand between mine. The soul-crushing sadness from these last weeks was melting away, and that sliver of hope I had tried to drown was growing. Having all those possibilities felt wonderful.

“I'll regret not going. Don't get me wrong. I still want everything that I had planned, but I'll travel with you for a few months. If I like it, maybe longer. If not, I'll come back and do what I want, and we’ll make it work, even if we’re continents apart. How does that sound to you?”

His eyes were still shining when he said “It sounds like a dream.”

I nudged his knee with my toes. “You know, you can say it back.”

“Say what?”

“That you love me. You cancelled a trip because you want me, so you might as well say it.”

There was that dimpled smile that had put me under a spell right from the start. “Didn't I just confess how much I care about you?”

I sighed loudly, but still couldn’t help but smile back. “Why is it so hard for you?”

“It's not.”

He got up from the couch, and I pouted. Danté fished something out of his back pocket. A piece of crinkled paper he gave me. My heart squeezed as I saw the words written in bold marker. The exact same I love you as in Taylor’s “You Belong With Me” music video. I sobbed as I held the paper closer to me. Danté dragged me to my feet and held me closer.

“I am sorry, love. Sorry I made the decision for you, and sorry I didn’t tell you I love you sooner.”

“I told you he was in love with you from the start,” a voice shot from the kitchen.

Danté jumped in surprise. I, however, wasn’t even fazed that Jasmine had been listening. His cheeks burned when he realized that she probably heard everything he had said.

“Have you been listening all this time?” I asked, wiping my cheeks dry with a tissue.

“Pretty much.”

I flashed Danté a sorry smile. The poor boy looked like he was about to combust any minute now.

“I am sorry. There is no privacy between Jasmine and me.”

She walked over to us and hugged me. “Glad you guys are alright.”

She hugged Danté, who still looked very uncomfortable. Yet he hugged her back. Funny how we had all lived a few meters from each other, and yet, they had never bonded.

“And happy to see you again. But hurt my sister one more time and I'll skewer you. With a rusty knife.”

Gods, I could kiss that woman.

“Understood,” he said in a solemn tone.

“And you know she’s good at hurting people with knives.”

Danté had the decency to pretend to be careful. He straightened his back, as if standing in front of a commander. “Oh, right. I forgot I had to take that threat literally with Jasmine.”

“Will you guys ever get over it? We all know I would never hurt Evy on purpose.”

It was that accident that had changed my life for the better, probably. If not for that one very awkward and bloody night, I would’ve never had the courage to talk to Danté, let alone tell him I was in love with him.

“I still have the scar on my finger,” I told her, showing my hand.

Her mouth formed a thin line, and she went back to the hall. She shot me a dirty look over her shoulder. “Mention that incident once more and you’ll have another scar in your collection.”

“See? I am being abused here.”

Before Jasmine could run away, I hugged her. She gave me back my embrace and patted my neck.

“Thank you for having my back.”

“Always.”

When my best friend was gone, Danté looked like he could breathe again. Even though it felt like we had been able to save our relationship, Danté stayed hesitant. It might take us a while to go back to where we once were, or maybe it was time for us to start all over. When our eyes met, a soft smile bloomed on his face.

“Would you like to stay the night?” I asked.

Him staying hadn’t been something I had planned for today. In all fairness, I hadn’t thought further than the conversation we needed to have.

“Would you like to stay forever?” Jasmine yelled from her room.

I let out a loud giggle. Apparently, I was the only one getting the joke. Danté shook his head. How he was a nineties kid and missed most Disney references was a mystery to me.

“I'd love to stay the night. Or forever, I guess.”

Forever sounded nice, and now that he had agreed, there were no takes-backsies.

I hugged his arm. “Perfect. How about we watch Mulan, then?”

“I missed the reference again, didn’t I?”

“We can fix that.”

Instead of letting me grab the DVD, Danté caught me by the waist and finally kissed me. It was sweet, and short, and it tasted like more. I kissed him back until we were both breathless.

“How could I ever live without that?” he murmured before kissing me again.

His tongue caressed mine as he pulled me closer.

“Oh, fuck me.”

The mischievous twinkle in his eyes lit up like a flame. There would be no movie for us tonight.

“I can make that happen.”