11. Finn
FINN
H e vaguely remembered waking up in the night a few times, mostly because Lauren tensed or thrashed around in some kind of nightmare. Finn didn’t know what the hell to do, so he woke her up each time and told her what he wanted to hear when he woke up from a nightmare: you’re okay, you’re safe, I’ve got you.
Finn didn’t have any dreams of his own, which was a fucking miracle, until things took a very specific turn and his imagination went wild with the sweet, soft woman in his arms. He never should have slept in the same bed. A true gentleman would have slept on the damn floor instead of pawing at her the moment she fell asleep.
In his dreams, she was his. She was entirely his and knew about his bear side and his past and everything he’d done and she didn’t hold it against him. She didn’t even care. And then they were in bed and her curvy ass snugged into his groin and lust took over. Finn imagined all the things he wanted to do to her in his half-dream, half-wake state, and it might have also been his imagination that she arched and pushed back to meet him.
But he’d promised to be a gentleman and he damn well wasn’t going to treat his mate like a one-night stand or drunk townie by copping a feel in the morning before sending her on her way.
Finn tensed. His mate? Without the pain fogging his thoughts and making the world tilt around him, it was obvious. Of course Lauren was his mate.
He rolled to his back, reluctantly untangling from her, and swore to himself. What a fucked-up way to start a relationship. He didn’t know if she even wanted a relationship. He looked like a wildman and could hardly limp his busted ass around a cabin. Lauren was smart enough to run the other direction, particularly since he’d groped her as she slept. He groaned and covered his face. How had he already fucked up so badly?
“Are you in pain?” Lauren sat up next to him, looking so beautiful it made his chest ache. Her tousled hair fell into her still-sleepy eyes, and she yawned and patted her cheeks as she gingerly moved the blankets and sleeping bags. “Do you need something? Are you hungry? How does your leg feel? Do you think it’s…”
“Lauren,” he murmured, absently stroking her back. God, he wanted to touch all of her. “Breathe for a second. I’m fine for now. Go back to sleep.”
She blinked a few times and looked at the hole in the roof on the other side of the cabin, where the dim light made it look near dawn. “But you’ve been asleep for so long, the pain meds must have worn off. It’s got to be excruciating.”
“It’s not so bad,” he said. The pain disappeared as he gazed at her; she was all he needed. “Probably better to get more rest.”
He just wanted her to lay down beside him again so he could daydream that she wanted to stay with him. Lauren hesitated, brushing the hair out of her face as she looked around the cabin, and looked at him dubiously. “But you almost chewed your leg off in that trap. How could it not hurt?”
“As long as I don’t move it, I hardly know it’s there.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. The bear would handle any level of pain if him staying still would mean Lauren being more comfortable. He already knew that any real movement from him would send her running. Finn didn’t know if she’d noticed him holding her or how much he enjoyed waking up next to her, but he hoped that didn’t contribute to her discomfort.
Lauren shivered and drew the blanket closer. “I don’t think we have any more wood for the fire, and it’ll just get colder in here. There’s a lot we need to do and we should look at your leg and make sure…”
“Or,” he said quietly, gently touching her arm to get her attention. “We can relax for a few minutes and enjoy the morning before that list of chores comes to life.”
She looked down at where his fingers rested against her wrist, but she didn’t pull away. She gnawed on her lower lip and glanced at him from under her eyelashes. Finn held his breath.
Lauren squirmed a bit but finally lay back down on her side, facing away from him, and said, “Okay, but we can’t just laze about all day.”
He smiled, studying the tangle of curls and the smooth, tanned skin on her neck and shoulder. “Why not?”
She whipped around and almost cracked his nose with her head. “What do you mean, why not?”
Finn leaned back a touch so they weren’t nose to nose and he wouldn’t be tempted to kiss her. “Don’t you ever just nap all day? Eat a bit, sleep, wander around in your sweatpants, read a book, nap some more?”
“But…” Lauren frowned at him, and her nose scrunched in the most adorable way. He had to clench his fist to keep from capturing her chin to bring to him. “But there are things to do .”
“There are always things to do.” Finn smiled again, loving every minute of being able to look at her from so close up. He couldn’t help it and caressed her cheek. The bear grumbled very softly and imagined pulling her against his chest. “The point is to not do them, to take a break. Relax. Play hooky and nap. Naps are the best.”
She moved to her back so she didn’t have to crane her neck to look at him. “But you still have to do all those things. All you’ve done is push them back and let other things pile up too. Which means you just have more to do, but in less time.”
God, he loved her already. He could teach her so much about being lazy. The bear wanted to show her exactly how they should spend the next year: sleep, sex, food, sex, sleep, sex, sex, sex… Finn traced his fingertips over her eyebrow and to her temple, exploring the soft swell of her cheek and a slight bump in her nose, a little scar along her jaw near her ear, another mark on her chin. He wanted to know the story behind each mark, though it was odd for a girl her age to have so many scars on her.
Finn played with her hair instead, trying to memorize the feeling of it between his fingers. “What needs to get done will get done. There’s a lot of extra shit that isn’t really necessary but we’re trained to think it is.”
She frowned, starting to look indignant. “Like what?”
“Cleaning dishes, to start.” Finn wondered what she considered necessary. It wasn’t like there was a whole lot to do in that dilapidated cabin, particularly when the world was only half-lit outside. “Gathering firewood. Doing laundry.”
Lauren pushed up on her elbow to look down at him. Definitely indignant. “That is ridiculous. You eat off dirty dishes?”
“Paper plates and chopsticks. Recyclable, saves water. Saves the environment.”
Her eyes narrowed. “So you lay around in dirty clothes? Put on more cologne and hope no one tries to get close?”
No one wanted to get close to him regardless of how he smelled. Finn pushed the thought away and smiled, wanting to tease her. “I’m a bit of a nudist. If you live far enough away from people, no need for clothes.”
Her cheeks flushed as she searched for a response. “Well, that’s completely…um…impractical. And—and—and the firewood. Of course you have to get firewood. We’ll freeze to death.”
“Nah,” Finn said. His heart pounded faster. No telling how she’d react. He just needed to test a bit. Just a tiny bit. He leaned in and her breath caught. He searched her eyes for a hint of what she felt, what she thought. His palm smoothed from her shoulder down to her elbow, moving to rest against the small of her back. “With two of us, there’s plenty of body heat to go around. If you don’t mind a bit of cuddling.”
She stared at him, lips parted, and since she didn’t smack him or roll away in panic, he figured he might as well take a shot. Finn brushed his lips against hers, starting slow, and pulled her closer.