Chapter 19
War, I imagine, is a bad thing. I mean war never means something good, but I was not raised in this life, and the guys always kept it hidden from me. They didn’t want to darken my life with all the evil. I never gave a shit and wanted to be involved, but they wanted me safe. Now that I am in the middle of it, I kind of understand what war means, but I am not entirely sure. My mind is reeling with the possibilities of what it could mean. Like, the Irish Mob is a big deal; we won’t survive in a war against them.
“Okay, my mind is reeling. If it means what I think you’re saying, it means we could all die,” I say.
“Yes, baby, but you don’t have to worry about that. We will figure out a way to prevent that from happening. I won’t let anything hurt you. Do you understand me?”
I nod my head yes, but there is no way he can promise to prevent me from being hurt. I am not a princess. I told them before, and I will say it again, I am ready for the fight. I need to be able to defend myself, and I have the capability to do so now. I have been training with Aidan, even though we don’t really talk during our sessions since I am still pissed at him, but I would never put my safety in jeopardy over his cheating ass.
“Okay, so what is the plan to get out of this? I don’t really see any options here,” I say.
“We kill Michael, then I take over and make a new deal with Quinn. We have been wanting to take out Michael for a while, but we didn’t have a good enough reason. Now we do. We”ll just need to plan his murder sometime in the next six months.”
“Did you just say kill someone, and not just anyone but your father? Have you thought this through, Knox? There is a lot to take in with that sentence alone. You can’t just throw shit like that out there without thinking about it first.” My heart starts beating faster. How can we be casually talking about taking someone’s life? In all the times I’ve pictured my future, I never thought I would be sitting around a table, talking about murdering someone. I mean, I know they kill people, but to just casually say it kind of threw me off.
“Yes, kill Michael. I’ve thought a lot about it. Why should that piece of shit get to live? We need to ensure that his death doesn’t land on our doorstep. The last thing I want is for any of us to go to prison over Michael. I don’t see any other option for dealing with this. Do you have any better ideas?” Knox asks while looking at the three of us.
I look over to Phoenix, and he shakes his head while Aidan sits unmoved. If I had to guess, I’d say he is thinking through the possibilities and going over every scenario in his mind. The guy doesn’t take a shit without thinking it through first. He always has a plan, which was why it surprised me when he cheated on me. Drunk Aidan doesn’t have that issue, though. Great, now my anger is back on his betrayal when it should be on Knox; the fucking guy I’m dating who is now engaged to someone else. I should be mad at him. Rubbing my hand over my face, I exhale a heavy sigh.
“Okay, so we kill Michael. How?” I ask.
I have never planned a murder before, and I am not sure how this works. Where do we hide the body? How do we kill him? Do we hire someone to kill him for us? I have so many fucking questions right now. Ugh, why did I have to fall for murder-happy assholes? Why couldn’t I find a banker or a CEO or some shit? I bet they wouldn’t be nonchalantly talking about murdering someone right now. No, I had to fall for the morally gray assholes who would burn the world down for me.
I stand up, so I can grab some water and get fresh air. I need a moment alone to breathe, so I tell the guys I will be right back. That was a lot of information thrown at me all at once. I just need to clear my head. I head to the kitchen and stick my head in the fridge to cool down. Grabbing a bottle of water, I head to the back porch for a minute, stepping outside and breathing in the fresh air. I can smell the salt in the air and feel the nice ocean breeze. I fucking love our backyard. I can relax back here. I walk out to the egg chair Phoenix bought for me, so I can read and be comfortable outside. Looking around the yard, I get more clarity on the situation.
After reviewing everything I know, I decide to list out the facts. Michael arranged for Knox to marry the Irish Mob boss’s daughter. The guy is a ruthless asshole, and he will kill us if Knox doesn’t marry his princess. Knox wants to kill Michael to take over and put a new deal in place. Phoenix is mad that Knox wants to be the one to marry me. Aidan hasn’t said anything on the matter. What a fucking shit storm. My heart has finally stopped racing; I can feel myself at peace now that I’ve had a minute to myself to think. Knowing the issues, my heart drops to my stomach when I realize the only solution is for Knox to marry her. It would prevent a war, and he could divorce her after everything is handed over to him.
I hear the back door open, and I look over my shoulder to see Knox standing like a God, just looking at me. Why is it so fucking hot when men lean against the door? He is walking sex on a stick, and he is all mine. I occasionally give him to Aidan to play with, but that boy is mine. I almost want to pee on him, so I mark my territory. My heart is breaking all over again, knowing I have to give him up to someone else, even if it is temporary. I know I lashed out and said absolutely not, but after a few minutes of fresh salty air and processing the news alone, I know I have to accept it. I don’t want him to get injured by trying to stop it. God, I love this man with everything I have, and it tears my fucking heart apart knowing that some other woman is going to take his last name and carry the title I so desperately want. I just hope we are strong enough to survive this.
Knox comes and sits next to me; tears are starting to run down my face because I know what I am about to tell him will kill us both. Blowing out a deep breath, I say, “You are my first love, Knox, and you will always be my last. From the moment I met you, Aidan, and Phoenix, I knew it was game over. You three became my everything within a week of meeting you, but I need you to listen to what I am about to say. You need to marry her. I hate it just as much as you, but you need to. We can figure out everything else later, but for right now, you have to go along with your father’s wishes. Her father is powerful, and I can’t stand to see you hurt, because he will hurt you, if you don’t comply. I know you’re searching for a way out of this, for this not to happen, but there are so many unknowns. I will always be here, but you are training to take over the Wolverines; you need to start acting like it. I need you to think with your head and not your heart.”
I can taste the salt from my tears as they roll down my cheeks. Looking into his beautiful, brown eyes, I can see the moment my words really hit home for him because he starts shaking his head and his eyes become misty. I swore I would never break my own heart again, but here I am, smashing it to pieces, so I can ensure that my found family makes it out alive. I understand their line of work puts them in danger every day, but if we can actively avoid a war by Knox marrying some bitch, then I will have to be the one to sacrifice my heart and soul.
“Baby, no. We will find a way out of this. I am not marrying her. You are the love of my life. I will do everything in my power to make sure that nothing will happen to us. We are a family, and you can’t leave just because it gets tough. I am working on a plan; we just need a few days to figure it all out. But as I told you before, you are not leaving again. I won’t survive it. Stop trying to run. YOU. ARE. MINE. You stubborn ass woman,” Knox says with way more emotion than I have ever seen from him before.
I shake my head because I just don’t see another way for this to work. How can we fight the head of the Irish Mob? He has way more manpower than we do, I just don’t see how we can come out on top. My head is spinning, and I am starting to get a headache. “There is no other way, Knox, don’t you see that?” I quietly respond.
“There is aways a way, so stop overthinking, and get your ass in my arms right now. I can’t stand the thought of losing you. You are my everything, Meadow, don’t you ever forget that.”
I get up and move over to his lap, so he can pull me into his warmth. Resting my head on his chest, I can feel the beat of his heart, and it instantly calms me down. Sighing in relief. knowing that he will do what he can for me and our family, I just relax in his hold. He wraps his arms around me, not allowing me to get up and places a kiss on my head.
“I am sorry that Michael is a piece of shit. I will not marry her, so please stop running. I lost you once and never thought you would return; I am not doing that again, Meadow. So just stop fighting everything. The four of us are growing old together, and if you decide you want kids then we will face that as well. We are a family, and we do everything together. So stop being a stubborn woman, and let me take care of you. Let us take care of you. I know you’re still mad at Aidan, but he loves you, just try and see that. Phoenix will literally use himself as a human shield to protect you, and I am your reaper. Anyone who wrongs you will face the sharp end of my knife, and I will not even blink an eye. So just trust in our family, Meadow.”
His words just make me cry harder. I understand what he means; I have been pushing everyone away. It is what I do best. I am glad Knox is there to pull me back from the edge and how Phoenix always shows up with random shit he buys me and how Aidan will do everything he can to teach me how to defend myself, even if we aren’t speaking right now. They are all there for me, and I didn’t realize how selfish I was being until Knox brought it up.
Sitting up straighter, I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and pull Knox’s face toward me and press my lips to his. His lips easily mold to mine, and he moves his hands to my head to hold me captive while he returns the kiss with everything he has. This is different than any other kiss we have shared. When we pull apart, my lips are slightly swollen. I feel the zap of electricity heading to my heart. This kiss seals our fate; our lives will never be separated again. We are in this together until the end, and we will figure it out together. But first, I need to right another wrong.