Chapter 44
44
Natalia
two years ago
“Happy anniversary,” Matteo croons. His smile is lazy and relaxed in contrast to the harsh, cold winds blowing around us.
“Happy anniversary?” I question, pulling away with a confused smile. “Our anniversary was last month. Remember how you forgot?” I tease.
Matteo chuckles, pecking the corner of my mouth. “And this is my way of making it up to you.”
“I thought this was a work trip.”
“Well,” he says with a shrug, draping his arm around my shoulders, “I guess we’re killing two birds with one stone.”
I roll my eyes, lightly shoving away from him before wrapping my scarf around me tighter, nuzzling my nose into the bright orange cashmere. When we landed at O’Hare International Airport, we didn’t expect the normally cool temperatures in Chicago to be so cold this early in November. Or at least, I didn’t.
“Aren’t you glad you listened to me when I told you to pack warm?” Matteo says, gesturing toward my scarf.
“Hmm,” I hum. “What would I do without you?”
Matteo turns away from me, linking our cold hands together as we continue our leisurely steps through Lincoln Park. We simply bask in the one day off that Matteo has before a meeting the following morning, the reason for this supposed “anniversary trip.”
Suddenly, Matteo pulls his phone out of his pocket, the buzzing noise vibrating in his hand before he answers it.
“This is Matteo,” he calls, his hand holding mine slackening as his steps stop. “What are you talking about? They aren’t supposed to be here until tomorrow…yeah, okay. I’ll be right there.” He promptly hangs up and faces me. “Natalia, I’m so sorry. The investors are already at the office. I guess they want to move the meeting up to today.”
I pout. “What about dinner?”
“I’ll try to make it out in time for our reservations but if not, I promise I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”
I continue to pout, shoving my hands into my pockets as I watch him distractedly look down at his phone.
“Do you want me to walk you back to the hotel?” he asks.
I shake my head. “It’s too far, and you’re in a hurry. I’ll just explore a bit and head back when it gets too cold.”
He nods, placing a quick kiss on my cheek before hurrying off.
I swivel on my feet, suddenly realizing that I’m in a city where I know absolutely nothing or no one. With no specific direction, I continue the steps I was walking with Matteo, hoping to find something to kill the time.
As the slowly setting sun continues to glide across the sky, I find a small French bistro close to Lincoln Park Conservatory nestled between the park and brick buildings. From the outside, I can see a large display case holding various cakes and pastries. Wanting to get out of the cold and having a sudden hankering for something sweet, I walk inside.
As soon as the warmth hits me, I unwrap my scarf, suddenly feeling too stuffy. The inside is quaint. A good-sized dining room is separated from the café side where there’s a takeout counter for those that want to order from the bakery. When I get a closer look at the display case, I already know I’m going to have trouble deciding what I want with too many choices of fruit tarts, brownies, and flavors of cakes, all of which I want to sample at least once.
“Are you ready to order?” a soft voice asks as I continue my ogling. I look up at the cashier, a brunette woman with a black apron, her name, Janet, neatly embroidered across her chest.
“Um,” I answer. “What do you suggest?”
She smiles wider, her eyes lighting up with kindness. “One of our pastry chefs makes the best vanilla cake. It has a rich strawberry cream cheese frosting, and it is actually heaven in your mouth.”
I giggle. “I’ll have that. And a cinnamon latte, please.”
“Sure,” she answers.
After a quick transaction and I’m handed my order, I settle into a stool along a long bar-like table facing out toward the street. I drape my scarf over the back of the stool before opening up the small to-go container holding my slice of heaven. When I take the first bite into the spongy cake, I’m hit with a sudden wave of nostalgia. I don’t know how, but this cake…it tastes like home. Like bustling classrooms filled with clinking petri dishes and complicated lab assignments. Or a busy parking lot scattered with farewells and unspoken words.
Janet wasn’t wrong when she said the cake was like heaven in your mouth. I finish the entire cake, taking small sips of warm cinnamon latte in between bites. As I’m clearing my trash, my phone buzzes in my purse.
“Hello? ”
“Natalia,” Matteo calls from the other line. “I’m heading back to the hotel. Are you there?”
“I’m on the other side, near the conservatory. Is your meeting over?”
“Yes and no,” he answers. “The investors just wanted to do a meet and greet before they check into their hotel. I think it’s their way of trying to catch us off guard. But that means I’ll be able to make it for our reservations.”
I smile, already walking out the door and ready to make the trek back to our hotel. “I’ll see you back in our room.”
present
The next month passes by without so much as a hiccup. I fall into a routine at work as the weather gradually shifts from the breezy fall to the biting cold that comes with the December chill. Everywhere I look, I see the holidays are gradually approaching, from the storefront windows covered in Christmas decorations to holiday music filtering through every place that has a sound system.
I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks gradually moving on from whatever rejection I suffered this past year. From Matteo, from Hayden, from every thought that passed through my hopeful heart thinking I was destined for something more. Instead, I bury myself in work. I spend my lunch hours inside my office, opting to have food ordered in instead of dining out. And while I repeatedly tell José that it’s to avoid the chilly weather outside, in all honesty, it’s to avoid the lingering thoughts of Hayden just a few blocks away. Probably busy, filling his time with work just as I am, while letting go of something that could have blossomed between us. Something that could have grown if sheltered and valued.
I briefly fill José in on the relationship that didn’t happen between myself and Hayden, something he already assumed. When I appear more heartbroken than before, his persistence to mend my broken heart grows tenfold, and he urges me to call Shawn back after our failed first date.
I spent this past week preparing to travel back home for Christmas. It’s the last few days in the office until the new year, and I’m finishing Christmas shopping while packing for my extended vacation. Another plus to this vacation home is that Carmen will be joining us, unlike last year, with David in tow. It’ll be the first time David is meeting our parents in the three years that they’ve been dating, and he’s been a ball of nerves ever since we booked our tickets.
Tonight, it’s the night before Christmas Eve, Christmas Eve-Eve as Lucy puts it, and I have a holiday work party that I’m attending before taking an afternoon flight the following day while Carmen and David are to fly out on Christmas morning once she gets off work.
Dressed in a simple green dress the color of deep emeralds, all topped with my hair in loose, wavy curls swept to one side and a dark, maroon-colored lipstick, I scan the large banquet room in the fancy hotel that feels too formal for it to be considered a party and more like an extended workday instead.
“Have you tried the scallops?” José asks in hushed excitement, approaching me with a small appetizer plate full of said scallops. “They’re to die for.”
I peek at his plate, where a small pile of the pan seared scallops, drizzling in a savory smelling oil, sits, waiting for me to have a sample. I pluck one from the plate and pop it in my mouth, and it practically melts off my tongue.
“They also have some sliders that have applewood smoked bacon in them,” he says through a full mouth. “So don’t get too full off of these.”
I nod, agreeing with him as I reach for a second scallop.
“Mmm!” he exclaims, waving at someone behind me. I turn and see Shawn walking our way with an easy smile. I flip around to face José again.
“What is he doing here?” I hiss.
“I invited him,” he answers almost too nonchalantly. As if I don’t know the tricks he has up his sleeve. “Just make nice and have a small chat.”
I have enough time to roll my eyes at José with a hint of annoyance before greeting Shawn with a smile as he approaches us.
“Hey, cuz!” José greets Shawn.
“Hi,” Shawn answers. I keep my gaze on my wineglass loosely held in my hands.
“I’m going to grab some of those sliders before they run out,” José says before scurrying off to the food table, ignoring the accusatory glare I’m giving him. When we’re left alone, Shawn finally faces me.
“Fancy seeing you here,” he says as I peek up at him through an embarrassed smile.
I finally let out a nervous laugh as we work through our embarrassment. Mine more than his because it was me who walked out on our date. Me who left him behind at a nice restaurant to have sex with another man.
“Hi,” I say with a voice that sounds more like I should be saying sorry.
“So I’m having a serious problem with this girl I kinda like,” he starts to say. “You see, she ditched me on our first date. Maybe you can help me figure out what to do so that I can finally sweep her off her feet.”
My hand moves to cover my mouth as a wide smile spreads across my face. “I’m so sorry about that,” I say, my brows curving inwards as I plead my apology .
“You can make it up to me,” he says, leaning a bit closer. “How about a redo?”
I sigh. “I’m not the best company as of late.”
He bobs his head up and down. “That’s okay,” he says, understanding laced into the calmness of his voice. “We’ll take things slow.”
“Slow,” I repeat.
“Slow.”
“I can do slow.”
The night continues with more appetizer-type foods like crispy coconut prawns and fried mac and cheese balls. The mood and spirits around the party liven as more alcohol is consumed. By the time I’m ready to call it a night, I feel significantly lifted. Like I have something to look forward to other than a long night wallowing alone.
“I should head out,” I announce, my third glass of red wine running through me. “I have a long travel day tomorrow.”
Shawn tosses back whatever remains are in the glass tumbler he’s holding and checks his watch. “I should head out too,” he says casually, placing his empty glass on a nearby table. He turns to me, lightly placing his hand on the small of my back. “We’ll walk out together.”
I nod, taking one last glance at José, his smile wide and excited, before Shawn and I walk toward the coat check and exit the building.
Once Shawn and I walk through the heavy revolving doors, the air outside is chillier than when I walked in. The clouds in the sky look menacing, even against the darkness.
“They had snow in the forecast,” he announces, gently placing his hand on my back again, this time wrapping his fingers to lightly grip my waist. “It looks like we might have a white Christmas this year.”
“It’s been a while since Manhattan’s had a white Christmas,” I comment as he steps toward the curb to hail a cab. Just as I wrap my coat around myself tighter, a cab stops in front of Shawn. “It’s going to be hell catching another,” I add as he starts to open the back passenger door. “Why don’t you go ahead and take it? I can walk.”
“We’ll share it.” He steps aside and gestures for me to enter the car.
“But you’re on the opposite side of town.”
He tilts his head toward the open door, further urging me to get in and out of the bitter cold. “It’s fine.”
I finally budge, stepping toward the car as my heels click against the hard pavement. Once inside the warm car with the heat blasting through the vents at full power, I turn to Shawn.
“You really didn’t have to share a cab,” I say apologetically.
“And let you walk home all alone?” he says with an incredulous tilt of his head that naturally brings his palm toward his chest. “What kind of gentleman would that make me?”
“Well, thank you,” I say with a shy huff of laughter. “It saves me from having to unthaw my feet in a warm bath when I get home.”
We pull up to my apartment quickly, the hotel not being too far, and the taxi pulls to a stop on the road. Shawn turns to me.
“I’ll call you,” he says in a low voice, his gaze zeroing in on my lips.
I swallow the lump lodged in my throat. “Yeah,” I say too quickly. My hand hooks onto the door handle, clicking it open as I shift a little closer to the exit. “Thank you for the ride,” I almost whisper.
He tilts an imaginary hat. “Anytime.”
I step out into the cold winter air and face the car as it drives off as Shawn waves at me from the closed window. I shift on my feet as I turn to get into the warm comfort of my home.
It’s then that I see a figure stand from the steps leading up to my apartment. When he comes to a full standing position, I finally see his face. It’s Hayden, walking toward me with his head hung low.