Chapter Seventeen
Frey
The hallways were full of staff members gossiping about the incident. There was no other word for it, given how Jupiter lost his shit with his brothers. Then there was the switch around of the PAs. Jupiter now had Ziggy, and Wilder was working with Silas. The conversation in the coffee lounge at lunchtime on that Monday had been very interesting. That, however, was not what was on Frey’s mind as he stared at Booker, who was glowering hard enough to make him sweat.
“I won’t be here from tomorrow, Friday, through to Tuesday. I’ve had it marked on the calendar for weeks,” he explained, blushing like crazy, but doing his best to act like there was nothing to see.
“We have some very important work to finish up,” Booker ground out through his clenched teeth .
Nothing about his tone suggested this conversation was going to be an easy one, not that Frey could understand why. It wasn’t like Booker was to know that he’d never taken time off for a heat before. He’d filled in the calendar the same as everyone else, then worked from home to avoid suspicion.
“Yes, I’m well aware of that.” Frey forced his lips into a beaming smile. “I’ve shared what needs dealing with. Monty is fully up to date with the projects I’m working on. This will ensure there is no disruption to them,” he rushed to reassure. “I’ve given Monty access to all the information on my computer. He’s more than capable of stepping in while I’m away. ”
“Away where?” Booker’s lips curled into what came across as a grimace.
Frey coughed, blushing even harder. So much so that he felt hotter than the one time he’d decided a tanning bed was a good idea. He dropped his gaze to the desk between them, looking at the clutter instead of the bear.
“It’s in the other calendar.”
Lane had established an omega heat calendar long before Frey had started working for the company. It made it easy for all the omegas to add the times they need off, so there wasn’t any debate or discussion around having the time when their bodies demanded sex.
“Which calendar?” Booker’s expression portrayed none of his emotions, making it hard for Frey to determine if the bear was being obtuse on purpose.
He stood straight and glowered back at Booker, unable to stop the challenge when he was feeling miffed and frustrated. He had neither the daring nor the courage to actually ask for what he wanted, so he added a big helping of flirtyness to his next words. “The steam version of a sex calendar.” His grin was all teeth as he finished. “You know the one where we get to plan to go—”
“I… stop ,” Booker growled, his teeth making a clicking sound as they snapped together on the last word.
Frey fell into silence, his eyes narrowing on Booker when he now looked as flushed as Frey.
When the uncomfortable silence continued, Frey’s nerves forced him to speak. “What?” he asked innocently. “I thought you were interested.”
“I…” Booker growled once more, and it lifted the hairs on the back of Frey’s neck as Booker got out of his seat and stalked to the window. Hands on the sill, his whole body was rigid with tension as he stayed staring out the glass. “Fine. Whatever.” He lifted a hand in a dismissive gesture, not once looking back at Frey.
Booker didn’t witness Frey's shoulders slump or how he trudged to the door and left, closing it quietly behind him. He gave Pam a grimace of a smile and quickly returned to his own office to hide.
Whatever he’d expected from deciding to discuss his heat with Booker and his time off, he admitted it hadn’t gone the way he’d secretly hoped it would. Booker had gotten pissed about the disruption of his work and nothing more.
What had I really expected?
Some undying declaration that Booker would be his— forever .
He was being stupid. Not a little stupid, but utterly stupid to get his hopes up after listening to his fox. Who, after the whole clingy thing Booker had done before the trip to Drinkwater, considered the bear was definitely interested in him.
Now he was…
Frey couldn’t decide because Booker was too damn confusing.
Had Booker heard about his trip to a sex club? Was that what was different? Although Frey couldn’t fathom why. It wasn’t like he’d done anything except watch, and he wasn’t even sure Jupiter had noticed them to report back.
He sighed, disheartened by the whole situation, and shut himself in his office. His gaze landed on the files on his desk. Work, he’d concentrate on that. At least it wouldn’t confuse him.
The nerves had taken hold the second that Frey had started to feel overly warm the evening before after leaving work. He’d spent two hours sniffing himself, trying to figure out if he smelled different. Up to now, all he’d got was that he felt like he had added extra layers and turned up the heating, making it hard to catch his breath. His doctor had informed him that this first heat after having none for years—and Frey couldn’t remember how he’d felt because he’d blocked it out—could be unusual. It wasn’t helping Frey decide whether or not he was reacting normally.
Why couldn’t they have just given him more pills?
They made us infertile.
No! They said it was a possibility, not that it was a sure thing.
He had clung to that knowledge since the conversation. He was hanging on to the little ray of hope because he never considered not having babies. He wanted babies in his future… little cute bear-foxes…
“Oh jeez! Is the heat going to make me only think about Booker?” There was no one to answer him, not that he wanted anyone to know he was pining for the big bear. Working so closely and constantly with Booker, Frey got to see how much Booker cared… about everything. He worked harder than anyone Frey had met, even Derick and Lane.
Was he trying to prove himself?
Frey, even after some digging into Booker’s past, remained uncertain around the reasons and circumstances why Lane and Derick adopted the bear. Nothing suggested Booker was bad, or had done something awful to warrant his family disowning him. To Frey’s way of thinking, Derick and Lane would never have someone in their family that was say… a mass murderer, or something like that.
Why don’t you call our bear and ask him? his fox side wheedled. Then we can have his big hairy body wrapped around us.
Why are you torturing me this way? What did I ever do to you to deserve this? What? Isn’t it going to be hard enough to get through the next few days without you bringing the big hunk of furriness into the equation ?
We’re both suffering here, not just you!
Frey blew out a breath, then sucked a big one in and tried not to think about the way Booker looked or smelled in the hotel suite they’d shared. He focused on being calm, finding his Zen. It hadn’t worked up to now, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen.
He searched for something else to focus on when he failed, like every other time. He ran through what Ziggy had said when Frey had asked him numerous questions, along with his doctor, about what was going to happen to him. Neither had mentioned anything about having endless thoughts of a certain bear doing…
Come on, you were just getting to the fun parts, imagining all those muscles covered in fur as we rubbed ourselves, naked, all over him.
This right now, you gotta stop it? You’re a very naughty fox!
His fox’s laughter grated on Frey’s last nerve because as much as he wanted it, some part of him remained scared he’d freak, and his head would take him back to being trapped without a choice. Which meant that part wanted to lock himself in a room and not come out until this entire ordeal was over. Did anyone die if they didn’t have sex during a heat?
It wasn’t a question he had asked his doctor, maybe he should have.
Instead of worrying about that, Frey did his best to block his fox when his fantasies got Frey feeling hotter and more bothered, although his ass wasn’t dripping or soaking the pair of specially made underwear he’d found for the occasion. Underwear he’d bought from a specialist website, which allowed for some modesty for omegas during their heat. They had a slit in the ass section, meaning they could stay on and keep his cock covered, which, in the circumstances, was for the best. He didn’t want Ziggy touching him there.
This wasn’t about attraction, only need. And Ziggy didn’t really want to touch his dick, either. It was going to be weird enough without being fully naked and there being touching beyond the use of toys. They’d agreed all Ziggy was going to do was use whatever toys they’d found online to get Frey through, and nothing more.
Would it work?
Frey was terrified to think it might not… because he had no other options when coping alone wasn’t something his doctor had recommended for his safety, after not experiencing a heat for years—or really at all. What he’d meant by that, Frey really didn’t want to find out. Images of him haring down a street, naked and begging any old alpha to fuck him were what nightmares became made of.
He jerked towards the sound of the doorbell and his palms grew sweaty as he clasped his shaking hands together to go to the door. He stared at it, willing himself to open it after looking through the peephole and seeing Ziggy with a bag slung over his shoulder.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can .
The doorbell chimed again, and Frey’s shoulders slumped as he opened the door, not looking at his friend.
“Hey,” Ziggy murmured, coming in so Frey had to step back.
The door clicked shut and Ziggy slipped the deadbolt into place, setting off Frey’s already erratic pulse.
“Erm… do you still wanna do this?” Ziggy asked as Frey continued to stare at the now locked door and not directly at the man who dropped his bag to the floor.
He gulped and nodded, only it wasn’t quite a nod, more a half nod, half head shake. “I…” he gave Ziggy a desperate look. “What if…” he threw up his arms, unable to put his fears into words.
They’d done lots of talking, but the reality part? They had nothing.
“How’s the sexual urges right now?” Ziggy’s gentle approach helped. He was so patient and a fantastic friend.
“I took my temperature, and it’s steadily climbed since last night. So the doc’s predictor thingy has worked.”
“So the urges?” Ziggy gently prompted again.
Flushing for a whole new reason, Frey shook his head. “No urges… or not, like, I want to hump the first alpha I might find to assuage the need.”
Everything made him fret, and this was no different. “I have thoughts about an alpha… sexy ones… where I…” he waved a hand in front of his face, attempting to create a little breeze to cool him off, “shimmy over his furry body. ”
Would that description tell Ziggy who it was? The night in the sex club, Frey had vague memories of sharing, but Ziggy had said nothing, so Frey had kept quiet about it.
“Do you want to go find that alpha, hunt him down and…” Ziggy’s cheeks filled with color that Frey considered matched his own, “let him fuck you?”
Frey sighed, disheartened at being unable to really verbalize exactly what he was feeling when he had a rational, thinking brain. Something both the doctor and Ziggy said would disappear when his heat hit. So should he be feeling like that now? And because he wasn’t, did that mean there was something else wrong with him?
He scratched his head in frustration, then tugged his hair. “Why can’t it be simple? I know that I’m attracted to…”
Ziggy’s eyes narrowed, and he wore an expectant look.
“You know, don’t you?” As he said it, Frey became more convinced when Ziggy tried and failed to hide his amusement. “Alright, Booker. I’m attracted to Booker.”
Ziggy’s lips twitched before he turned his back on Frey, taking off his jacket to hang it up on the hooks by the door that led into the apartment. “You’re right. You might have mentioned it once or twice at the club. And sometimes I can see it in the way you stare at him. Or how you sometimes talk about him in the group chat.”
“Great!” Frey tossed up his arms when Ziggy turned and came deeper into the room, aiming for the massive couch that faced into the room. “So that means everyone knows! ”
Ziggy lounged back, stretching out over the back of the couch. His plain black T-shirt showed off his tattoo covered arms, and the intricate designs never failed to fascinate Frey.
“Does it matter who knows? I’m pretty sure you aren’t the only PA who is interested in their paired alpha.”
Ziggy’s observation brought Frey’s attention away from the tattoos. “Are you interested in Jupiter?” Frey questioned when the thought entered his head after the recent change that everyone in their group chat had avoided mentioning. Frey wasn’t sure why, but he suspected there were others who didn’t want to swap around and end up worse off. He for sure was one of them. There was also Lane. No one would want to upset him with him being the alphas’ father, that was for sure.
Ziggy laughed aloud. “I’ve barely had time to get to know him. But I’d say from what I’ve seen of Jupiter, his tastes aren’t mine.”
“Huh? What tastes?” A furrow developed between his brows as he stared at Ziggy, failing to understand what he was getting at, unless it was to do with what they’d seen at the club.
Ziggy gave a kind of half shrug. “Let’s say he has interesting activities in and out of work.” He ran a hand over his beard, his attention fully on Frey. “Shall we get back to you and Booker?”
“What’s there to say?” Frey blew out his breath and gave in to Ziggy’s silly grin. “Okay… I took one look at his big hairy chest—which I totally blame Hollis for, when he had us sharing suites on the last trip—and all I could think about wa s what it would be like to lick the fur and slide naked against him.”
Frey spun around and marched around his living room, his ass getting twitchy, but not damp, with his train of thought. “I’ve never wanted to do that with anyone else. And I’m not sure I want to do it with anyone other than Booker.”
He looked back at Ziggy, hating his frustration. “But see, that makes little sense to me. Is this because I stopped the pills? Or is it because I want him… like, really want him? He’s there in my head.” He tapped at the side of his head to demonstrate, now he was letting it all out. “Digging in and staying put like a damn tic, sucking on my thoughts, making his presence felt.”
The chuckles coming from Ziggy didn’t help Frey’s mood now he was on a roll and coming to terms with what had been playing on his mind. He liked Booker.
He really liked Booker, enough to get naked.
Jeez!
His legs turned to jelly, and he staggered more than walked to the big armchair closest to him.
Ziggy rose, darting to him, looking concerned, and helped him to take the last couple of steps when his legs totally gave way. “What is it?”
“Don’t panic, but now I’ve admitted how much I want Booker… I kinda feel like I wanna find him and maybe demand things…” he released a shuddery breath. “I’m doomed!”
“It’s the heat. Your biological reaction. ”
Frey would not kid himself, it was not that. His ass wasn’t slick. His thoughts weren’t all about sex. The sites he’d visited said he’d have no logic. They were wrong. “No. I don’t think so,” he muttered, more to himself than to Ziggy.
“What did the doc say about your reactions after suppressing for so long?”
“He wasn’t sure. The inhibitors could have made me uninterested generally in wanting… sex. I don’t want only sex with Booker… I want more.” There, he’d said it aloud, and the world hadn’t imploded.
Ziggy’s blond brows rose, and he blew out a noisy breath. Frey didn’t miss the concern clouding his eyes. “Your fox might not want me touching you if you’ve… connected sex and—”
“Please don’t say it, don’t,” Frey begged.
Ziggy’s expression made Frey’s tummy dance unpleasantly with the truth of it. “What are we gonna do?”
Frey refused to cry and shrugged. “I don’t know.”
We want Booker.
Please… we just need to get through the next few days.
We want Booker.
Obstinate fox. It’s too late to do anything now. We have to get through this. I swear that for the next one, I’ll speak to Booker. If he ever got the courage up.
He felt the moment his animal side blocked him. Great! Now what was he supposed to do?