Breakaway for Love (Hockey & Love #1)

9. Wakeup Call from Hell

9

WAKEUP CALL FROM HELL

Daniel

The next few weeks are some of the happiest in my life.

The first night in Beijing when I tonguefucked Nico and came like a teenager as soon as I touched my cock, something changed. I can't say what exactly, but since then Nico seems more open, more relaxed. He laughs more. He jokes openly with our teammates. And then there's the sex... Things have changed here, too.

He was so edgy at first, I wondered if he might never have had sex with a man before, but he’s turned out to be an amazingly creative lover. We both seem to love struggling for dominance until one of us — usually Nico — becomes so absorbed by lust that they surrender completely.

Nico is totally fixated on butt stuff, too, which is such a turn-on! For the first couple of nights, I was afraid he wasn’t into it which would have been a shame because I love it. I clearly got him all wrong. As soon as we enter our room, his hand gropes for my ass.

So far, I’ve fucked him loads of times with my tongue, but that's as far as we’ve gone. Maybe my assessment that he lacked experience with other men isn’t such a stretch after all — especially in terms of anal sex. And I can’t get the words he said to me that first time in Beijing — "I've never ..." — out of my mind. He never finished the thought and he hasn’t said anything about it since. I got the impression he was embarrassed about it, so I never brought it up myself.

The feeling that I have to watch out for Nico has been growing on me, though. He often seems so fragile, especially when we’re alone. I’d never want to make him feel uncomfortable. Anyway, the sex is great as it is, so I’m not complaining!

But even outside the bedroom, things are better than ever. We've had almost a week to settle in, deal with jetlag, and gel even more as a team. And we’ve really gelled!

Ever since we landed, the training has been brutal, but it’s brought us together in a way I’ve rarely experienced. That's how we survived the grueling group stage and advanced as the third-placed team. Then we got a stroke of luck. Two of the favorites were in the same group and a couple of other damn good teams eliminated them, so we’re now in the semifinals! It's unbelievable! If we win today, we'll play for Olympic gold. I’d honestly never expected to get this far, especially after our disastrous training camp back home in Terengia.

The mood after this morning’s practice is tense but cautiously upbeat. We can't wait to get out on the ice in a few hours and show the world what we're made of.

We barely make it back to our room before Nico and I are on each other. Our naked bodies fall onto our makeshift double bed, and we tease each other with soft kisses and long, lingering touches. Nico's woody scent fills my nose, and I'm in seventh heaven.

After a few minutes we calm down. At some point we realized that it's better for us not to have sex before a game. We need to let our bodies recover from training and be in top form for the challenge to come. Anyway, there’ll be plenty of time for everything else afterwards, and touching is great too, right?

Eventually, Nico turns his back to me and I nestle against his naked body. Our legs intertwine, and my arm wanders over his chest to pull him a little closer to me. I can't resist planting another kiss on Nico's tantalizing neck, but a tiny shiver is his only response. He’s very ticklish there, but I’ve already found out that it excites him when I kiss him in the right spot. I grin and kiss him again.

A half-satisfied, half-grumbled murmur is my reward. He’s so cute!

Then I lay my head on the soft pillow and enjoy the simple feeling of being so close.

A few hours later, the sound of a door slamming wakes me up.

What's going on? Where am I?

I’m jolted out of such a deep sleep that I’m disoriented for a moment. Is someone in our room? Why didn't the alarm clock wake us up?

"Nico!"

My lover's name cracks like a whip through our cozy little kingdom.

With a jerk, Nico sits upright at my side, tearing his muscular body from our intimate embrace. I squint into the dim light of our room. Julius Hovenberg, Nico's father, is standing at the foot of our bed.

How did he get in here? Only athletes and coaches have access to the building let alone the rooms. He must have found someone to bribe. The thought of this guy loitering in front of the door waiting for a chance to sneak in makes me grin momentarily. Although, that’s soon wiped off my face when I feel Nico’s body trembling. Is he afraid of his father?

My eyes rake over the tall, slender man dressed all in black, from his shoes right up to his elegant features. Features that are right now distorted with rage.

"What are you doing, Nico?" His voice is quiet, but more menacing than anything I've ever heard in my life. His words hiss like an angry snake.

Nico's trembling gets worse, and he pulls the bedspread up to his naked chest. I have no idea what's going on here and I’m so stunned I barely know what to do.

Nico looks almost identical to his father, but he is a completely different person. Before he can say a word, the older man is barking out a command. "Get dressed! We're going home! Now!"

This snaps Nico and me out of our state of shock.

"No!" our combined voices echo through the room.

"We have a game coming up ..." Nico adds almost tearfully.

"You can't talk to Nico like that," spills from my mouth at the same time.

The eyebrows of the older man draw even closer together. For a moment, I have the crazy idea that sparks might fly out of his eyes, and I have to suppress a giggle. What’s wrong with me? My brain is so fogged with sleep I’ve regressed into a teenager.

I put my arm protectively around Nico and look his father straight in the eyes. I don't give up that easily on anyone and certainly not the amazing guy next to me! But if looks could kill, I’d have been history long ago.

I already know Hovenberg Senior normally gets what he wants and he expects people to be intimidated by him. But today he's messing with the wrong guy! And I've got a whole hockey team behind me, too, if push comes to shove.

Julius Hovenberg's features contort into an expression of abject disgust, as if the room is full of horse manure.

"Do you know what they do to ... people ... like you in this country?" He manages to sound simultaneously sardonic and threatening as he hisses out the words.

Nico flinches at the implication. I press him even tighter to me as silent support. How can a father be so cruel? China is hardly the benchmark for LGBTQ rights, but to speak to your son like that … No wonder Nico seems to shrink in front of his father.

"Nico, you're coming with me right now!" Hovenberg has barely got the sentence out before a loud "No" cuts him off.

It’s a “No” that leaves no room for argument. A “No” that’s as immovable as granite. A “No” that hits a liberating blow.

Astonished, I look at the handsome guy by my side. A moment ago, I thought I’d have to throw myself protectively in front of him like a mother lion protecting her cub, but he clearly doesn't need my help at all. The trembling guy sitting next to me only a moment ago has turned into a man of steel.

Nico has sat up and let go of the bedspread. I’m pretty sure he’d like to literally stand up to his father, but since we are both naked, he’s wisely decided to stay in bed.

"No," Nico repeats in a calmer but equally firm voice. "Father, I will not do what you ask of me. This stops now! I’ve had enough!"

For a moment I think I see astonishment in Mr. Hovenberg's face.

Has Nico never said "no" to his father before? I wonder.

Then I think back to the many times I met the Hovenbergs together. Nico was always trying to imitate Julius. He was desperate to look as arrogant as his father. But if you looked closer, he was almost invisible next to him. This Nico couldn’t be less invisible. He’s genuinely proud and self-confident as he stands up for himself.

Then he takes a deep breath before announcing, "Father, I'm gay."

For a second, I’m taken aback. Gay? I thought Nico was bi like me but had maybe never acted on his attraction to men. But if he's gay ... I'm pretty sure I must be his first . The whole thing doesn't make any sense. But Nico continues talking and I don’t dwell it.

"I won't pretend to be the son you always wanted me to be. And I won't be going back to Terengia either. If at some point in the future I can't play ice hockey anymore, I'll get a job as a coach or something like that."

Nico’s father looks at his son with utter contempt. Although I never liked Hovenberg Senior, his look cuts even me to the quick. I don't even want to think about how Nico must be feeling.

"You'll regret this!" The threat and his tone are as cold as the ice that must have frozen his heart years ago. How can he be so cruel?

I think of the loving support I’ve always received from my grandparents. I never explicitly came out to them, but at heart I know it wouldn't matter to them who I brought home as my partner. If his father’s treatment is any indication of his home life, how did Nico survive?

With a last look that makes it clear how low he thinks we’ve fallen, Julius Hovenberg turns and storms out of our room.

Well, that was the wake-up call from hell!

I jump out of bed and storm over to the door.

Nico

Dismayed, I sit alone on the bed that Daniel and I have shared for the past few weeks.

I can barely get my head around what just happened.

Did I just give my father a piece of my mind?

Did I refuse to go back to Terengia with him?

Did I actually confess to my father that I was gay?

My breathing is shallow and I feel so sick that bile rises to my mouth. My body feels as if it’s been put through a meat grinder. My whole world has shifted. Nothing is the way it was. I swallow hard.

I don't know exactly what happened, but Daniel has disappeared. Well, not exactly disappeared. He jumped out of bed when my father left, got into a pair of track pants and stormed out of our room. Apparently, it's not just my father who’s disgusted with me. Tears gather in my eyes.

What drove Daniel away? He was the one who gave me the strength to stand up to my old man, to finally speak my truth. Maybe it was too much drama for him. Or maybe he lost his respect for me just like my father. If he hadn’t, he’d still be here. Now I’ve lost him too!

What did I say to make him run off like that? Was it because I said I was gay and not bi? Was it because I wasn't out? Was it because I let my father talk to me that way? Or did my father turning up remind him that we’re enemies?

So many questions are buzzing in mind, but I can't grasp the answers. There’s only emptiness. Emptiness inside me. Emptiness around me. As if I’ve been sucked into a black hole. A tear rolls slowly down my cheek, a tiny symbol of the abject sadness in me. Whatever the reason … Daniel is gone!

That first tear gives way to a despair so all-encompassing that it threatens to swallow me whole. How am I supposed to go on? Now I have nothing. No family, no lover, no one left on my side. I’m suddenly very alone.

Would it have made any difference if I’d talked things through with Daniel earlier? If I had told him what a coward and failure I’ve always been? Would it have made a difference if he’d known all this before my father showed up?

Maybe. Maybe the truth would have convinced Daniel to stay. Maybe I wouldn't be alone right now. But how could I have known my father would burst into our room like that?

You should have expected it, yawns the little devil on my shoulder. You know your father pulls shit like that!

A sob bursts from me as I’m forced to face the truth. It was inevitable that my father would show up sooner or later. He hasn't been able to keep his nose out of my business ever. But I was so happy, I tried to block it out, block him out.

And I was so happy. Happier than I’ve ever been before. I sob again, then I can't hold back any longer. I throw myself face first onto my pillow and Daniel's scent fills my nose. The slightly spicy scent has given me so much peace over the past few weeks — it was like coming home. Now, that scent is nothing more than a reminder of all I’ve lost, and the pain of that thought threatens to rip my heart out.

The smell will fade soon enough , I try to reassure myself. But that would be a double-edged sword because when Daniel's scent is gone, there’ll be nothing left but a pale memory of these wonderful weeks.

A gentle hand on my shoulder, makes me jump up. Through a curtain of tears, I see Daniel sitting next to me on the bed.

What is he doing here?

"Your father’s gone," he says gently as he strokes my back.

"You ..." I croak. "You're here."

It doesn't make sense. He stormed out, didn’t he?

Daniel looks at me in confusion then says, "Where else would I be?"

I bite my lower lip, but the truth still seeps out of me, "You walked out on me."

Crap, I sound like a three-year-old — small and helpless. Even though that's exactly what I feel like.

Daniel turns pale. "You thought I left you?"

He’s staring at me with wide, startled eyes. But why else would he have bolted out of bed as soon as my father stormed off?

"I went into the corridor to make sure your father took the elevator down and then I locked our door to make sure he couldn't come back." Daniel says this softly.

He locked the door so my father couldn’t come back? I was so sure he’d left me, I’m finding the alternative concept difficult to process. All I know is that Daniel was next to me one moment and gone the next. What else was I supposed to think? But then again, I was so confused by the conversation with my father that I wouldn't have known what a door was anymore, let alone that there was the option of locking it.

Daniel runs a desperate hand through his sleep disheveled hair. Then the alarm clock on his cell phone rings.

"Damn it!" Daniel curses as he grabs it from the nightstand and turns off the annoying jingle. "We need to talk! But we also need to get to the arena in a few minutes." He falters. "Are you up to playing?"

Indignantly, I straighten up. Who does this cocky guy think he is, questioning my competence! "What do you mean?"

Daniel just smiles back lovingly and gently strokes my cheek. "I'm just worried about you!"

Oh!

He takes my hand in his as he adds, “As I said, we have a lot to talk about. But just so there's no doubt, you mean a lot to me! And ..." He hesitates, while I hang on his every word. "And ..."

An alarm clock rings again — this time it's my cell phone that’s interrupted our conversation.

When silence returns, Daniel leans forward and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. At least, I think it was meant to have been a quick kiss. But the touch of our lips is so tender it could never have remained a tame kiss for long. I run my lips over Daniel’s again and again. He might have turned my life upside down over the past few weeks, but I still want to taste him. I flick my tongue out just enough to taste his lips.

Daniel groans loudly, but then pulls back.

"No! We have a hockey game to win. After that we'll … talk" — he looks at me sternly as he finishes his sentence — "then kiss!"

I grin wryly at him. "If you say so."

Daniel groans, but this time it's not lust, it's mock despair. "You'll be the death of me! he says.

"If you say so," I repeat, grinning cheekily at him.

At one point, I thought I’d never tease Daniel again. Now, I’m ready to lean into this new, playful, lighter side of myself.

For a moment Daniel hesitates, then he laughs and stands up. Then his gaze sweeps over my body and his hard cock tells me that, for once, he’d rather be playing with me than against our opponents.

The semifinal is brutal.

The Czech national team can smell gold, but none of us are ready to give up. There are only two minutes left on the clock and the score is 5:5 — a hard fought 5:5.

After a quick goal by the Czechs in the third minute of the game, our trio of Terenberg Capitals equalized a minute later. And that’s how it went the whole game. The opposing team scored a goal, we equalized. Terengia never managed to get ahead, though we were either tied or trailing, but we never stayed behind for more than a few minutes.

The game got rougher towards the end and more fouls were handed out. I’m going to be black and blue everywhere tomorrow. That doesn’t matter right now, but what does is that I don't know whether I would survive an overtime. We have to finish this.

Gabriel, Daniel, and I hop over the boards for our last shift of regular time, and hopefully we’ll make it the last shift — period. We've got to get that damn puck into the goal!

Our goalie passes the puck to Gabriel. I sprint forward. My lungs protest, but I ignore them. Then I’m checked into the boards full force. Ouch! A shrill whistle blows, a penalty is given, and the D-man heads off the ice. There’s a thunder of booing from the Czech fans and cheers from the Terengian ones.

I move gingerly. I give myself a quick body scan, just as I've been taught. But despite a good eighteen-stone of pure muscle having just rammed into me, everything seems to be okay. I exhale in relief. Then I head for the faceoff circle in front of the opponent's goal.

Daniel is already there, exchanging a few words with the opposing center, Number 45. There’s too much noise to hear what they’re saying, but the Czech team are definitely under pressure now. Their teammate has put them in quite a spot. Having to play shorthanded in the last two minutes of such an important and tied game ...

The puck drops and my whole being is focused only on what is happening on the ice right now. The Czech center wins the faceoff, but is immediately challenged by Gabriel and one of our defenders, and then the puck is flying towards me.

At the edge of my awareness, I can sense our fans jumping from their seats and screaming. But for me, there’s only the puck on my stick. I turn and speed towards the goal. One of the huge Czech defenders blocks me.

"Here!" a familiar voice echoes across the ice.

Without looking, I know that Daniel has skated free and has a shot on goal. I pass the puck in his direction.

What are you doing? my father's voice shouts in my head.

He won't be happy that I passed the puck and didn't try to get past the defender to score myself.

Your opinion no longer matters, I mentally retort, either on the ice or for the rest of my life!

My head is freeing itself of my inner demons while my body sprints forward to edge Number 45 aside to give Daniel space. And that’s all it takes. A Czech defender is charging toward Daniel, but it’s clear that he won’t get to him in time. There’s nothing he can do to stop Daniel taking his shot now.

I hold my breath as Daniel shoots, but with so many players now crowding the goal, it’s going to need a bit of luck for the puck to find its way to the back of the net. The puck flies dizzyingly fast and the Czech goalie leaps heroically and stretches his arm out. He reaches the puck with his outstretched hand and saves the goal but doesn’t manage to hold onto it. It bounces back onto the ice. Rebound!

I sprint towards it, but Gabriel gets there first and flicks the puck over to me. It lands flush on my stick and I take a quick peek at goal. The goalie is at the far end after his incredible save. I have a clear shot! Without a second thought, I crack the puck towards the upper left corner of the goal. Time seems to stand still as the little black disc sails through the air.

Then a light flashes.

Goal!

Before I can move, my whole team has skated over and bundled me. My breath is squeezed out of me, but it's more than worth it!

The celebration doesn’t last long, though, because there’s still just under a minute to play. In ice hockey, that can feel like an eternity, and after my goal, the opposing team is back to full strength. In fact, we’re now outnumbered because the Czechs pull their goalie and bring a sixth player onto the ice instead.

The pressure is huge from the first moment. Our goalie, Konstantin, saves their last-ditch attempt on goal, but the puck bounces off him and sails across the ice. Everyone sprints after it.

The Czech defender who rammed me into the boards earlier tries to take it on the blade of his stick, but just misses. My stomach tightens. It’s almost comical how the puck glides across the ice leaving players way behind, as if their desperate attempts to reach it are contemptible. Without another player coming near, it flies straight into the goal!

For a moment, everyone’s speechless. Then deafening cheers break the silence. Our goalie has scored a goal. There’s no way the Czech will score two goals in the few remaining seconds, so Konstantin has almost certainly given us the win!

Goalkeepers expect to get jumped at the end of a game, but Konstantin has scored a goal — probably the first in his career — and such an important one that we bundle into him anyway!

It takes the referees to bring us back to our senses so we can finish the game, but it's just a formality now. The Czech goalie is back on the ice, but it's over. The last twenty seconds tick down without anything special happening. Then it's official: we're in the final!

We skate one lap of honor after another and the Terengian fans never stop cheering. It takes an eternity for us to get off the ice, but none of us mind! As I walk down the hallway toward the locker room, endorphins flood my bloodstream. The familiar squeak of the skids on the rubber floor drives the truth deeper into my consciousness: We won!

Then my eyes fall on my father standing on the bleachers and watching the action with an even more somber expression than usual. Next to him is Daniel's red-haired witch who gives me a thumbs up and a broad grin.

My stomach flips and my euphoria ebbs away. While I was playing, I’d been able to suppress everything that happened in our room before the game. Now, it all floods back: my father bursting in, stating my truth to him, and how Daniel said that I meant a lot to him. But what exactly did he mean by that?

Daniel

The locker room has descended into chaos.

I don’t think anyone really expected us to get this far in the tournament. Plus, we now know who we’ll be playing in the final the day after tomorrow: Canada.

The noise is deafening, and there are beaming faces everywhere. All except for Nico. He’s surprisingly quiet, almost withdrawn. Almost like he was before ...

I drop down next to him on the wooden bench that runs around the locker room and give him a sound pat on the back.

"Awesome goal!" I shout before murmuring, "Are you okay?"

If Nico hears me, he doesn't have much to say in response. He nods, but shrugs at the same time. That's when I remember that I saw his father in the stands. At the beginning of the game, I was one of the first on the ice but Nico was one of the last. Did old Hovenberg shout something at him as he came into the arena? Or is everything that happened this afternoon overwhelming him again?

Then guilt washes over me. While we were changing for the game, I messaged my best friend, Elisabeth, without Nico noticing. I briefly explained to her what had gone down and about Hovenberg's threats. Since Elisabeth has been the president of the Terengian Ice Hockey Association for a few years, I hoped she could make the old a-hole understand that whatever he has planned, now is the wrong time for a scandal.

The Terengian national ice hockey team have never been this successful, and it’s the perfect opportunity for Nico to make the jump to the NHL. Now is the time to focus on the positives.

I still think I did the right thing, but I probably should have run it by Nico first. Especially since I unintentionally outed him. Damn, that was bad, even though Elisabeth already suspected it. I look at Nico uncertainly. I hate the fact that we can’t talk openly here and now.

"What?" he asks, sounding hopeless.

But before I can answer, Gabriel squeezes between us and gives Nico an exaggerated kiss on the cheek. I can't suppress a surprised snort. He’s such a joker!

"My hero!" he announces with a solemn voice, then he giggles. I know he hasn't had a drop of alcohol, but anyone else would say he was drunk. That’s what a few happy hormones can do!

Nico, on the other hand, looks at him in bewilderment, and I can’t help admiring the expression on his face! He looks adorable with his disheveled hair and his widened eyes and his cheeks all red from the game — or maybe from Gabriel's stolen kiss. But before I can do anything rash — like plant my own kiss on Nico’s glowing cheek — our coach claps his hands. He’s usually grim-faced, but now he’s visibly struggling to prevent his smile from turning into a broad grin.

"Good game, guys!" he says dryly.

“Good” game? We roar out our protest. It was epic, damn it! It was like David versus Goliath and David won. “Good” game? Is he fucking with us?

"We haven’t won gold yet," he adds. And this little reminder takes the wind out of our sails a little bit. "Get some rest now. We'll meet tomorrow after breakfast in our conference room to watch the Canadians' last games together, got it? You can celebrate the day after tomorrow."

He’s a total buzzkill! But he's right, of course. Today’s game was tough as hell. We can all use a break because the game the day after tomorrow will take everything we have!

Grumbling slightly, we grab our stuff and head off to our rooms, and it’s obvious that Nico is trying to keep his distance from me.

Oh, my god! I hope I haven't screwed everything up.

When we leave our dressing room, I pull my cell phone out of my pocket. As I was expecting, the screen is full of notifications. I quickly scroll through to Elisabeth’s messages and find the one I was hoping for.

Hovenberg’s threat contained. Continuing as the main sponsor of the Terengian national league was more important to him than outing you.

Relief flows through me. I cast a glance over my shoulder to Nico who is deep in conversation with Konstantin and Emil. Maybe this afternoon’s events have caught up with him after all, and his father isn’t the problem.