Chapter 19
“Merry Christmas!” Rayelle sang as she joined them in the living room first thing Christmas morning.
Rayelle had insisted she and Dominic make the drive down for Christmas since they had yet to spend a Christmas apart since Bryce’s mom died. She’d made it her mission to make sure he didn’t spend the holidays alone. Not wanting to intrude, they showed up late Christmas Eve and planned to leave the next morning. Bryce acted annoyed, but he couldn’t think of a better way to spend the holidays while stuck in Delaware.
“Merry Christmas,” Samantha responded from her place next to him on the couch.
She still wasn’t quite herself since the night she found out who Lizzy was, but she seemed to be in a much better mood since Rayelle and Dominic arrived. She looked beautiful sitting on the sofa wearing her Christmas pajamas and fuzzy socks. As much as he loved to see her dressed up, having her relaxed and in his space was the way he preferred her to be.
“Are you guys hungry yet? I put breakfast in the crock pot last night for whenever you’re ready to eat. And you already know Bryce made coffee.”
Asher was curled up on the other side of Samantha in his new Christmas sweater. He looked ridiculous, but the women were hearing nothing about him taking it off. Asher didn’t complain, so he let it go.
“I’m always hungry,” Dom grumbled. “And why are we up so early?”
“Because it’s Christmas morning,” Rayelle answered as if that explained everything.
“Holidays are for sleeping in,” Dominic retorted.
Samantha and Rayelle both rolled their eyes after a moment of eye contact. Samantha squealed when Bryce wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. It was a sound he needed to hear as often as possible.
“You okay?” he asked Samantha, just loud enough for her to hear.
She nuzzled into him. “I’m better now. This is nice.”
Rayelle, so intuitive it was annoying, honed in on their conversation. Bryce looked up to find her making her way over to where they were seated. Coffee cup in hand, she sat on the other side of Samantha and put her arm around her.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. I missed you,” Rayelle said as she looked back and forth between the two of them.
“I know. I’m sorry. Rehearsals have been crazy and then I started coming down here on the weekends. I’m a shitty friend,” Samantha responded with a soft chuckle.
Rayelle leaned over and nudged her with her shoulder. “Girl, stop. You knew Bryce first. I’m just the cheapy free gift that comes with the purchase.”
“My god, Rayelle,” Bryce said on a sigh. “Seriously?”
Rayelle shrugged. “I’m just saying. She can’t ditch me for you when you were here first.”
Samantha returned to sipping her coffee. They hadn’t told Rayelle what all had happened the past few days, but no doubt she could tell something was up. As Samantha sipped her coffee, Rayelle kept stealing glances at her. He hoped Samantha would decide to talk to her about it at some point. It would be good to get the perspective of someone who wasn’t involved. They hadn’t talked much about everything in detail. The only conversations were about how each of them was holding up. Bryce needed some time to process everything, and he assumed Samantha was the same way.
“Actually, Rayelle,” Samantha said after a moment, “these past few days have been crazy. I’m glad you guys came. I really needed it.”
“Wanna talk about it?” Rayelle offered.
Samantha looked at Bryce then looked around the room with a contemplative look on her face but didn’t say anything. Bryce could sense the internal battle she was fighting and decided to buy her some time.
“Why don’t we eat breakfast and do the Christmas morning thing. Then you two can go off and talk, or whatever. We have all day and tomorrow if we want, so don’t worry about me,” Bryce suggested.
Samantha leaned against Bryce once more as she nodded in agreement. He was glad Samantha took his advice because he was enjoying relaxing on the couch with her and wasn’t ready for her to leave his side, or for anything to change after the conversation that would inevitably happen.
“Feel like some fresh air?” Samantha asked Rayelle. It was freezing but she would rather get out of the house while she spoke the words she hadn’t dared speak aloud.
Rayelle gave her a long look before she finally nodded. “Okay. Let me put on more layers.”
Samantha tied her scarf and pulled her hat down to cover her ears as they walked the path to the beach. As close as the ocean was, she and Bryce hadn’t taken any walks along the beach because it had been so cold. She wasn’t thrilled about being out in the cold now, but she wanted some fresh air and the chance to have a conversation in private.
“Bryce is working alongside the woman my husband was having an affair with,” Samantha blurted as soon as they reached the sand.
Rayelle stopped where she was and gaped at her. She knew the information would come as a shock, but she just couldn’t find it in her to dance around the subject. The information had been burning her from the inside out ever since she found out. She needed to talk about it. She wanted to talk about it. But she hadn’t found the courage until now.
“What?” Rayelle finally asked after a long silence.
“Lizzy. The property owner’s daughter.”
Rayelle studied her for a moment before leading her to a bench that overlooked the water. Cold was an understatement. The biting wind stung their faces as it carried remnants of ocean spray across the sand.
“Now. Start from the beginning, because I’m lost,” Rayelle requested as she sat by Samantha, holding her close.
Samantha took a deep breath before telling the story as quickly as possible. It was cold and she didn’t have time to beat around the bush. She explained the way Lizzy behaved at dinner the first night and then the conversation that caused the truth to come out. She even explained Bryce coming to find her after she ran off, sick.
“Oh my god,” Rayelle breathed. “Are you okay? Do we need to kill her?”
Samantha laughed even as they shivered in the cold. “No. She came back the next day. She didn’t know Brandon and I were still together. I feel sorry for her. I know how Brandon could be and I know how manipulative he was. I know the way he stomped all over people because he was the only person who mattered.”
“So how are you feeling now?” Rayelle asked. “Are you feeling better since all that is over with? It must be a weight off your shoulders now that you know the situation.”
Samantha huddled closer to her friend. She should have been feeling better, but all she was left with was a sense of dread. The knot in her stomach hadn’t let up and she even had a hard time finishing her breakfast. Stress was a bitch.
“I still feel like shit,” she admitted.
“I’m sorry hun,” Rayelle said, giving her a squeeze. “Let’s go inside and eat all the things. That always makes me feel better.”
“I wish! I haven’t been able to eat. Even when I’m hungry and fix my favorite snacks, I can’t seem to eat. Yesterday I fixed myself a nice plate of nachos. One bite and I almost puked.”
“Still? Weren’t you feeling sick the last time I talked to you? Before any of this shit went down?”
“Yeah,” Samantha answered slowly. “I guess I haven’t been feeling great for a while now. It’s no wonder I felt worse when I found out about Lizzy.”
“Hmm.” Rayelle hummed quietly as she stood and reached a hand out to Samantha. “Let’s get back inside. It’s too cold out here.”
Silently, Samantha took Rayelle’s outstretched hand before they made their way back toward the townhouse. She had a feeling Rayelle was getting at something, but it was too cold to figure it out there. They needed to get back before they exhausted themselves shivering.
“You sure you aren’t pregnant?”
Samantha stopped in her tracks and gaped at Rayelle as they approached the steps leading up to the front door. It couldn’t be a coincidence that two people had asked her that question in as many weeks. If she could get pregnant that easily, she would already have children. She and Brandon had tried and tried but short of the most drastic fertility treatments, kids weren’t in the cards for them.
“Yeah. I wish my uterus and ovaries worked well enough that I could get knocked up like that,” Samantha said with a self-deprecating laugh.
“So, you’ve taken a test?” Rayelle pressed.
“No. I don’t need a test. All that time wasted trying should be proof that I’m barren.”
“Barren?” Rayelle tipped her head back and howled with laughter. “You really need to take a test. Just to be sure.”
Samantha had clearly been reading too much regency romance. Who even said “barren” anymore? Giving her head a shake, she continued the walk in the direction of the door slowing only to say what was on her mind.
“I know I’m not pregnant, but I’ll take a test as soon as I get a chance to go to the store. Now, let’s get inside before we freeze to death.”
“No need to get to the store,” Rayelle said triumphantly. “I have a leftover test in my makeup bag. It’s yours. Now we can get inside.”
“Would you like to share why you have a pregnancy test on hand?” Samantha asked as they climbed the few stairs leading to the door.
“Nope. Follow me once we get inside and I’ll get it for you. You aren’t going to stall in hopes that I forget.”
With a quiet laugh, Samantha opened the door and walked into the house. Asher, of course, acted like they had been gone for hours. He came bounding down the hall and leaped into Samantha’s arms, nearly knocking her down in the process.
“Hey buddy,” she crooned as she scratched the dog’s ears. “It’s okay, you just saw us. Settle down, man.”
Bryce watched in amusement from his place on the couch. Once Asher finally calmed down and found something else to do, Bryce greeted the women.
“You ladies okay? It’s freezing out there.”
“Yeah, we’re good,” Rayelle answered in a sing-song voice. “I just needed to grab something for Samantha real quick. We’ll be right back.”
Samantha gaped at her. What a way to make things obvious. Technically, it probably shouldn’t have been a secret. A pregnancy scare was between two people, but she wasn’t ready to share any of it with anyone. The secret wouldn’t last forever no matter what result they ended up with, but she wanted to keep it all to herself for a while. She wanted to be able to process it in her own time, which she couldn’t do with people breathing down her neck.
“Pee on this,” Rayelle instructed once they were alone. “Two lines means yes, and one line means no.”
“I don’t think you realize how many of these tests I’ve taken. I could take and read a pregnancy test without even opening both eyes.”
Rayelle looked at her with raised brows. Most people who didn’t realize Samantha and Brandon had been on a fertility journey, were either shocked by the unexpected information or were confused by statements such as that one.
“Were you trying for long?” Rayelle’s question was one of understanding. That could explain the pregnancy test she carried with her as well as her reluctance to talk about it. Samantha just hoped Rayelle would decide to talk to her about it in time. Talking about it was the one thing that could have helped her get over their failure to conceive. She knew now more than ever before that having people to turn to was more important than she ever realized.
“A while,” was Samantha’s simple response. “But I’m sure it was probably for the best. Everything happens for a reason.”
“Are you just regurgitating the cliché phrases people love to recite when they find out about things like this, or do you actually believe it?”
Rayelle didn’t bother waiting for Samantha’s response. She shoved the test into Samantha’s hand before pushing her toward the bathroom. Samantha didn’t bother trying to come up with any smart remarks. Obeying her friend, she took a direct route to the bathroom.
As soon as she closed the door and looked down at the pregnancy test in her hand, old feelings of dread washed over her. She’d taken so many tests—gotten her hopes up so many times. Yet, this time felt different. Whatever the results, this time would be different, and she knew it with every fiber of her being.