Bryce

Chapter 20

Two lines. Two fucking lines. She walked into the bathroom expecting to feel the same disappointment she had felt so many times before and was prepared to stuff it down and enjoy the rest of the Christmas Day festivities. What she wasn’t prepared to do, was look at the two lines on the test and then carry on, business as usual.

After washing her hands, she took several slow breaths as she attempted to stop the tremors that ripped through her. Years of hoping for a baby. Years of negative tests and months of injections, doctor’s appointments, and hope only to have it all come crashing down with one phone call. The phone call talling her to get to the hospital. The phone call leading her to find out that Brandon was dead. She never really mourned the loss of him; it was the loss of the future she had envisioned for herself that she’d spent her nights crying over.

Without realizing what she was doing, she walked out of the bathroom, stopped just shy of the living room, and watched as Bryce and their friends sat watching TV. They sat there like nothing life-changing had just happened. Rayelle leaned against her husband, both completely focused on the movie as Bryce scrolled his phone. As if sensing Samantha watching him, Bryce looked in her direction. His eyes locked on hers and he immediately sat up straight.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded.

He was on his feet beside her before she had a chance to respond. Without a word, she reached out her hand, showing him the positive test. So much for keeping it to herself as she processed everything. His breath catching in the start of a gasp was the only sound that reached her ears. Everything else was silence, and everyone else might as well have disappeared.

With a firm hand on her lower back, Bryce led her to the bedroom. As she focused on his touch, the sounds of the house seemed to return, and she was reminded that they weren’t alone. They needed to be alone for this conversation.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked as soon as the bedroom door was closed.

Warm tears ran down Samantha’s face before she even realized what was happening. Looking at those two lines had caused numbness and shock to wash over, and it was Bryce’s voice that caused the reality of the situation to smack her in the face. Taking in a ragged breath, she tried and failed to find words.

“Shh,” he soothed. “It’s okay. Why are you crying?”

As if she knew why she was crying. She was feeling too many things at once and couldn’t even begin to label them all.

“I don’t know,” she sobbed. “This is just…too much.”

Bryce shifted back as if stricken by her words. “Okay.”

She hadn’t meant anything bad when she said it was too much. It was just the only way she could begin to explain the way she was feeling. Her emotions were too much. The situation was too much. Everything was just too much.

“I’m not making any sense,” she explained. “I’m sorry. It’s not too much as in I can’t do this anymore. That’s not what I meant.”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me. Your feelings are your feelings. Just tell me what I can do.”

She looked at him in shock. Once again, she was reminded how bad her marriage truly was. She had gotten used to making her feelings small and insignificant so she didn’t bother Brandon with them. This was not Brandon. There was no need to be anyone but herself. That thought was enough to cause the tears to freely flow once again.

“I don’t know,” she sobbed.

Bryce chuckled to himself before taking her by both hands and walking her over to the bed. Once she sat down, he stood between her legs and placed his hands on her thighs as he stood close and held her gaze. He was close enough that she was surrounded by the heat of his body even though he was barely touching her.

“Shh,” he soothed once again. “I can’t stand to see you cry. Please, talk to me.”

Leaning forward, she pressed her cheek into his chest, finding comfort in his warmth and his scent. Finding comfort in him. After a few moments, she was finally able to turn her thoughts into words.

“I’m so sorry this happened. I wasn’t trying to trap you or anything. You aren’t obligated—”

“Excuse me?” he interrupted. “Do you honestly think that’s my first thought? That you’re trying to trap me? You should know me better than that.”

“I told you we were safe. I told you I couldn’t get pregnant. And now look. I just want you to know I wasn’t lying when I said that and that I’m sorry.”

His eyes narrowed as anger flickered across his expression. Feeling unbalanced, it was almost as if she was falling even though she was sitting still. Angering him was the last thing she was trying to do. If anything, she was trying to keep him from being angry. She looked up at him as he took several careful breaths before placing his hands on either side her thighs and leaning closer.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for, but if you keep assuming the worst of me, it’s going to piss me off. I know you. I know you wouldn’t do something to try to trap me.”

She swallowed hard. He’d never been angry with her before. Not truly angry, anyway. But looking up at him, she could see that he was barely containing his anger.

“I’m sorry,” she breathed.

“Stop. Apologizing,” he growled.

“I’m—” she bit her lip to keep from apologizing again.

“Did you forget our conversation about children? What we talked about that night you told me this couldn’t happen? Do you not remember what I said?” he asked, firing off each question before she had time to answer.

“I remember,” she said slowly. “But that doesn’t mean you want those things with me.”

“I want everything with you!”

Clamping her mouth shut, she gazed up at him in shock. Never had there been a conversation about what they were or where they were going. She had just worked up the courage to tell Brittney that she was seeing someone and that someone was Brandon’s brother.

“What?”

“I want everything with you. Knowing what you’ve been through and what you had to deal with in your marriage, there’s no way I could walk into this for something casual. I knew I wanted more with you after that first kiss.”

Once again, she found herself at a loss for words. She wanted more with him, too. The connection she’d felt when she met him didn’t make any sense, but was there.

“You want this?” she asked.

“A family? With you? I know I probably sound crazy, but there’s nothing I want more than to have a family with you.”

Slowly, he leaned forward until his mouth was mere inches away. She didn’t wait for him to close the distance. She leaned forward and captured his mouth in a hungry kiss, their groans blending as he pushed her back on the bed. Swiping his tongue through her lips, he deepened the kiss as he ran his hand up her thigh and over her body, his warm touch sending sparks across her fully clothed flesh.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “We came in here to talk.”

“Talk later.”

Surprising them both, Samantha sat up and yanked her shirt over her head and slipped out of her pajama pants. Desperate to feel him inside her, she tugged at his shirt, bringing him out of his trance. While he sat up to pull his shirt over his head, she worked on his pants, pulling his belt free in one move before quickly moving to his button, cursing his refusal to stay in Christmas pajamas all day as she and Rayelle had.

“In a hurry?” Bryce teased.

“Yes,” she said, her voice betraying her as it wavered.

All humor left his expression as he gazed at her with the same amount of need she was feeling. Once their clothes had been removed, he positioned himself above her. Not moving or touching her, he stared down at her, his eyes shining with emotion. It was too much. She closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath.

“Open your eyes.”

She opened her eyes slowly, forcing herself to obey his command.

“This. You. This is what I want. Never question that.”

His words spoken in that voice sent a shiver of excitement through her that went straight to her core. Reaching her hand up and cupping his cheek, she pulled him closer, capturing his lips in a kiss.

“I love you,” he breathed before returning his mouth to hers in time to catch her gasp.

Before she could respond, he plunged into her, burying himself to the hilt in one thrust. She cried out in pleasure as he pulled out only to repeat the movement. She was already near tears as he picked up speed and kept a steady pace of pulling nearly all the way out before filling her again. Knowing their friends were in the other room, she tried to be quiet, but her moans were quickly turning into sobs as her body became overwhelmed with pleasure.

“Shit!” she cried out when he placed a firm grip on her hip and pulled her closer with each thrust. “I’m going to come.”

As if sensing her loss of control, he moved his hand up to her mouth, and she bit down on his palm to contain her scream as she spiraled over the edge. Gripping his hips, she pulled him closer as she met his thrusts, pulsing around him while his movements began to falter. He removed his hand from her mouth to grab a handful of her braids, tugging as he followed her over the edge.

“Chinese food is ordered,” Bryce announced, peeking his head into the bedroom to find Samantha in bed exactly where he’d left her.

Realizing how loud the sex had been, Samantha, understandably, wasn’t interested in leaving the bedroom to find out what Dominic and Rayelle wanted from the Chinese restaurant. It was Christmas Day, and the only options were basically to cook or order Chinese. Samantha’s plans to throw a ham in the oven and put together a few side dishes had been derailed, and with good reason.

“Maybe I’ll come out to eat,” Samantha said sheepishly from her place under the covers.

Bryce looked down at the red bite marks still visible on the palm of his hand. They hadn’t talked yet. They hadn’t talked about the bomb she dropped or about the three words he uttered while they were having sex. He did love her, but he probably shouldn’t have said it when he did. Not the first time anyway.

“You can’t hide in here forever, you know.”

She rolled over to face him, holding the blankets up as an invitation. They’d showered, put on pajamas, and changed the sheets. There was nothing more inviting than clean bedding. With a chuckle, he walked over to the bed and climbed in.

“We never did finish talking,” Samantha pointed out.

“You’re right,” he said, pulling her close. “We didn’t. So, let’s talk. You know how I feel. Your turn.”

She took an unsteady breath. “I’ve wanted children for so long. The amount of times I peed on a stick only to see one line or the words ‘not pregnant’…” She trailed off.

“So, you want this.” It was a statement.

“No.”

He swallowed hard as his heart did something unhealthy in his chest. More than once, he opened his mouth to speak before closing it without saying anything. He hadn’t been lying when he said he wanted all of those things with her, but knowing how much she wanted children made him want them even more. He wanted to give her the family she’d always wanted.

“Okay, then,” he said slowly. “Okay.”

“That came out wrong. I do want this. It just isn’t how I expected to get it. The timing—” she stopped abruptly.

“I know the timing isn’t great,” he added when she didn’t continue. “I know this isn’t planned, but I’m so happy.”

She looked up at him in surprise. “You are? You’re really happy about this?”

He hated that she didn’t trust him to be honest with her. He understood why she didn’t, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Their conversation in the basement of the community center was the most open he’d been with anyone. Ever. A family was always something he hoped to have. His own family was fucked up, but he had been determined to break that cycle. He wasn’t just saying what he thought she wanted to hear.

“I wouldn’t lie to you. I was shocked to find out you’re pregnant, but not upset. I accepted the fact that if I wanted you, it would be just us, and I was okay with that. But having kids with you? That’s more than I could ever hope for.”

“Jesus,” she mumbled to herself.

Leaning back to look at her, he found her warm brown eyes searching his. He traced her jawline with his thumb, and she shivered beneath his touch.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Sometimes I have to ask myself if you’re real. And if you are real, why did I waste so many years…” She trailed off, but he knew what she meant.

“I love you.” He ran his hands along the smooth skin of her arms, soothing her when she stiffened at his words.

Closing her eyes, she shook her head in—disbelief? Resignation? Allowing her to take a moment, Bryce held her close and waited for her to speak in her own time. He couldn’t believe they were going to be parents. Together. He was torn between wanting to keep it all to himself and wanting to run out to tell Dominic and Rayelle.

“I love you, too,” Samantha said after what felt like an eternity.

“How are we going to do this?”

Samantha sat up and pulled a pillow into her lap, hugging it tightly as she met his gaze. Mirroring her, he sat up and faced her.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “I think we’re already doing it.”

She was joking with him. That had to be a good sign that she was snapping out of whatever it was she’d been feeling. He would take her making light of the situation over her endless doubts.

“I don’t want to live in one place while you and my kid live in another. So, how are we going to do this?” He knew he sounded like a possessive asshole, but he didn’t really care. Having his family in his house wasn’t something he was willing to compromise on.

“Wow,” she breathed. “There’s so much to figure out. I have Rent to figure out. I don’t really wear anything revealing, but I can’t be waddling around or going into labor in the middle of a show.”

Bryce laughed at the image. “There’s plenty of time before you have to worry about that. But you will have to tell them so you can work out a plan. That’s what understudies are for.”

Bryce watched as Samantha began to panic in front of him. He could see the exact moment when reality finally hit her. She finally had her dream right in front of her, and it could disappear before her eyes. That made him feel like shit.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I knew the risk when we decided not to use condoms. I don’t care if you didn’t think it was possible, I still knew what I was doing.”

Tears streamed down her face as reality sunk in. Holding her hands, he tried to think of something to say. Anything. Watching her cry physically hurt him. He would do anything to stop her tears.

“Listen to me, Samantha. Do not let yourself dwell on worst case scenarios. They chose you for the role because they wanted you. If something getting in the way of performances was the end of the world, there wouldn’t be understudies. Talk to them. They’ll work with you. If they don’t, then is that someone you want to work for?” he spoke quickly, in hopes that his words would slow her tears.

“Yeah,” said nodding aggressively. “You’re right.”

He could tell she was trying to convince herself. “I am right. Talk to them and then go from there. For now, I just want us to be happy about this.”

Once again, she closed her eyes, giving her head a small shake before opening them again. “Okay. Do you want to tell Dominic and Rayelle?”

“Rayelle doesn’t know?” Bryce asked in surprise.

“She gave me the test, so she knows it’s a possibility. Honestly, I was in total denial. She insisted I take it, but I thought she was crazy.”

“Were you hoping for it to be negative?”

Standing from the bed, she looked down in silence, chewing on her lip before she answered him. “Honestly, I don’t know. I expected it to be negative and I would be sad like every other time I saw a single line on one of those tests. Then I’d paste a smile on my face and suck it up until Christmas was over. The same way I always did.”

Bryce made his way behind her, pulling her into his arms. “I’m glad you didn’t have to do that. But in the future, just know you never have to do that for me. I always want to know what you’re feeling or what you’re going through. Okay?”

Finally, the smile she gave him reached her eyes. “Okay.”