Burning the Midnight Oil: A Single Dad Small Town Romance

Chapter 20

Ididn’t think it was possible for things to get any more uncomfortable, but here we are. Gathered around the table, like one big happy family, eating breakfast. Suzy is sitting right beside me, and Jade is at the head of the table, with Boone directly in front of his daughter. I can tell he didn’t even want to eat at the table, but Suzy insisted. We haven’t made eye contact once this morning.

After he left me standing in the alley, the taste of his mouth still fresh on my lips, I went back into the bar, and did my best acting, pretending like everything was A-okay, and that I wasn’t just sucking face with my ex-brother-in-law moments before. Thankfully, nobody thought anything was up. I’m assuming Boone ended up going home because I didn’t see him for the rest of the night, and by the time I got home, the house was silent.

I still can’t believe that happened. And out of nowhere. He’d been acting a little weird all night since I got to the bar. He kept eyeing me, but every time I’d glance his way, he’d look away. Then when I was on stage doing karaoke with Xander and Colt, he was watching me again, but much more intently. After he stormed out of the bar once we were finished with the song, I spent all of three and a half seconds doing a half-ass job talking myself out of following him. In my gut, I knew it was a bad idea. I knew that nothing good would come out of it. I don’t know how I knew that, but I did…and I was right.

That kiss…fuck me, was it good. It’s something I’ve fantasized about for longer than I care to admit, and it was every bit as good as the fantasy. Better, in fact. The way his lips overpowered mine. The way they took what they wanted. The way his body felt against mine. How his hands felt on me. I didn’t want it to end…but then it did. Panic and regret were immediate on his face.

It was stupid, and it shouldn’t have happened. Seeing how much Boone wanted me in that alley, witnessing the burning desire in his eyes, it silenced the alarm bells in my head. The ones that have been telling me to keep my distance since I watched Boone jerk off. He kissed me, and something else entirely took over, and I simply couldn’t stop the force. In that moment, with the feel of his lips moving against mine, it was a new reality, one where I could see what it would be like if Boone was mine.

But that can never happen, can it? That was nothing but a fantasy that took over in a moment of weakness.

“Did you guys have fun last night?” Jade’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.

“Huh?”

“At the bar,” she clarifies. “You both went last night, right? Was it fun?”

“Oh, yeah.” I huff out a laugh, chancing a look in Boone’s direction. He’s focused on an invisible crumb on the table. “It was fun. Xander, Colt, and I did a round of karaoke.”

Jade nods, a smirk playing on her lips that makes my pulse kick up a notch. “Is there something you want to tell me?” she asks, and I swear, my blood runs cold. This time I don’t even bother looking over at Boone.

“What, uh…what do you mean?”

“Oh, come on,” she says. “Don’t play coy. I talked to Hannah yesterday afternoon.”

Hannah…oh. That’s what she’s referring to. Not the fact that I made out with her ex-husband last night.

“Oh, that.” I laugh. “Yeah, she offered me a full-time job at the arena.”

“Grady, that’s amazing!” she boasts, her eyes going wide. “Hannah told me there was exciting news, but she didn’t tell me what. Congratulations!”

The weight of Boone’s gaze is on the side of my face, but I can’t look at him. My cheeks are hot, and I know they’re red. He’s probably wondering why I didn’t say anything to the guys last night.

“Thanks. I’m pretty excited about it.”

“So, what’s the job entail?” she asks, shoving a spoonful of her cereal into her mouth.

I dive into everything Hannah told me about the position, including the travel during rodeo season. Suzy asks a few questions along the way, but for the most part, everybody is quiet as I explain it all.

“This is so exciting, Grady. I’m so proud of you.”

Hearing this praise from my sister makes my chest warm. I’ve always had this need to make her proud. Probably because I know I’ll more than likely never make my parents proud, so having her approval means so much. After I dropped out of college, I worried she would be disappointed in me. Like she’d think I was still an immature kid who couldn’t stick with anything. Her support throughout all of this has meant so much…and now the guilt sets in over what happened last night.

Even though I’ve always been attracted to Boone, I’ve never felt ashamed of it. I mean, look at him. He’s rugged and gorgeous. But acting on those feelings is a whole different ball game. I’ve betrayed her, and if she ever found out, she’d probably never forgive me.

She can’t find out. She can never find out. And based on the way Boone is behaving this morning, I think it’s safe to say he agrees. Sure, they’re divorced now, but still. It’s wrong. It’s fucked up. I’m fucked up.

“You said you’ll be driving to each location like the guys do,” Jade goes on. “Why don’t you sleep in the camper with Boone?”

My throat plummets to my stomach. “What?”

“Yeah, there’s plenty of room for both of you,” she explains, clearly oblivious to what she’s suggesting. “There’re two beds, and that way, you wouldn’t have to pay for lodging or camp in a tent all summer. That would be miserable.”

When my eyes slide over to Boone, he’s white as a ghost. He’s not looking at Jade or I, but it’s more than clear he heard the suggestion if the way his jaw muscles are clenched is any indication.

It’s right there on the tip of my tongue to tell her that the arena offered to cover my lodging, but I don’t. I keep that information to myself, even though I don’t know why.

A laugh falls off my lips, the sound awkward and forced. “I couldn’t do that,” I say, voice cracking. “Boone’s probably stressed enough on the road; he doesn’t need a camper roommate making it worse. It’s fine. I can get a tent and sleep that way. Or in my car. I have a large back seat, you know.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jade scoffs. “It’s fine. There’s plenty of room, and it’s just for sleeping. There’s no reason you should be spending excessive money on hotels and stuff when there’s a perfectly good camper available with an empty bed.” She turns her attention on Boone. “Will you please tell him it’s fine?”

Boone finally looks up at her before his gaze darts in my direction. Clearing his throat, he nods, the movement clipped. “It’s fine,” he grits out. “Jade’s right. There’s an extra bed that’s not being used.”

Fucking shit. This is a fucking awful idea.

“See.” Jade looks so fucking pleased with herself. If only she knew. “Do you leave the same time as everybody else?”

I shove the rest of my bagel away. I’m no longer hungry. “Yeah.”

“Why don’t you guys just ride together?” she suggests. “Then you guys can split the cost of gas.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“Jade, stop,” I say as coolly as possible. “I’m sure Boone really appreciates his alone time on the road. I’m not going to cramp his style the whole season.”

I cannot ride in the same truck as Boone every single day for months. I’ll drive myself crazy.

Even trying to picture this, I’m coming up blank. Sure, before the last few months, Boone and I have hung out before, and it’s been just fine. But this is every single day for months. Surely, we’d get on each other’s nerves and end up killing each other… Or worse, fucking each other. And no matter how badly I want that to happen, it can’t. That’s so much worse than a kiss. A kiss is a betrayal, sure, but sex is unforgiveable.

Jade would hate me.

She’d never speak to me again.

My parents would find out, and then I’d really be disowned. The black sheep of the family. The pervert who seduced his sister’s ex-husband.

“Why are you being so weird about this?” Jade scoffs. “You’d save so much money, and I know you’re struggling right now.” Once again, she turns to the ghost-white man on the other side of the table. “Why are you being so quiet? You’re both being weird this morning. Since neither of you can seem to speak up for yourselves, I’m making the call for you. Grady, you’re going to ride with Boone. You two can split the driving, split the cost of gas, and Grady, you’re going to sleep in Suzy’s bed in the camper. It’s only a twin, but it’s better than a tent. End of discussion.”

Jade grabs her empty bowl, and leaves the table, the weight of her demands hanging in the air. Suzy gets up and walks away too, leaving me and Boone sitting there in tense silence.

“I-I don’t have to,” I finally say.

Boone’s eyes shift to meet mine, his face completely unreadable. “It’s fine, Grady. She’s not going to let it go, so we may as well just fucking listen to her. And she’s right, it makes sense.”

Then he’s gone.

This can’t be happening.