Candle In The Wind

Chapter Thirty Seven

Ever gave birth before?

“HEEEEE HEEEE!”

I inhaled sharply with her. “HEEE HEEE.”

“Yeah, keep doing that every time you feel a contraction coming in,”

the nurse said to Juliette.

Her iron grip on my hand was painful, but it was the least I could do, she obviously had it worse.

Her contractions seemed like episodes—they came in really strong for approximately a minute or a minute and half, she screamed, and I had to remind her to breathe. The nurse had already informed me that she wasn’t ready for pushing yet—something about not being dilated. I didn’t understand a word she said to be honest, but I did understand her when she told us there was nothing she or anybody else could do until it was time for her to push.

I glanced over my shoulder to look at the nurse who seemed to be doing a lot of prepping. “Hey, so, how long does this usually last?”

I asked as I looked back at Juliette, who finally calmed down. Her eyes were closed, and she was focused on her breathing while squeezing my hand. She was covered in sweat and cords that were connected to countless monitors, her hair frizzy and wet from sweat and moving around too much.

“It’s hard to say, but the time window is twelve hours to twenty-four hours.”

“Twenty-four hours?!”

I slightly raised my voice in shock. “That’s a whole day!”

The nurse nodded. “Yes, sir, and sometimes it’s more than one day, it varies on the mother and her situation,”

she said without even looking up at me.

My heart dropped as I turned to look at Juliette, who still had her eyes closed. I bit my lips as my brows furrowed.

She really had to go through all of this. There wasn’t any way out.

“She’s agreed to get the epidural,”

the nurse spoke again.

“The what?”

“It’s a procedure that will lessen the pain.”

I nodded. “Yeah, let’s get her that,”

I placed my hand on her forehead and pushed her hair back, “why haven’t you given it to her yet, look at how much pain she’s in.”

“She told us she wasn’t ready for it yet, Mr. Oakes.”

I dropped on my knees in front of the bed and leaned closer to Juliette, I held her hand and kissed it. “Sweetheart, why won’t you get it now?”

She turned her head in my direction as she slowly opened her eyes. “Did you call Ardley yet?”

I nodded. “Yes, I did, it went to voicemail. I left a message and sent him a text. I haven’t called my parents yet, do you want them here now?”

She shook her head. “Not yet.”

I pushed her back from her face and caressed her cheeks. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

She nodded. “Grab my phone from my pants and open Spotify, play the playlist that says Clay.”

Without a question I moved from her side and grabbed her folded pants from the chair and pulled out her phone—she didn’t have a passcode so I did as she said, I opened the phone and clicked on Spotify and pressed shuffle on the Clay playlist and turned the volume all the way up.

As The Scientist by Coldplay started to play. I joined Juliette’s side again and pressed our foreheads together as she started screaming again—another contraction started to roll in.

If I could do anything, anything at all to take even an ounce of this pain away from her, to even endure it with her, I would.

Juliette inhaled a sharp breath and wrapped her arms around my shoulder as she screamed even louder.

“You’re a wonder,”

I whispered as I kissed her cheeks—she started to cry, holding onto my shoulder as the contraction subsided. I pulled my lips into a thin line. There was nothing fair about this situation. It didn’t matter how much support I was offering, she was still in pain and I was still fine.

“It hurts,”

she whispered as her voice broke, “it hurts so much Callum,” she hissed, “Ugh, and I hate this song!”

I didn’t dare to tell her that she was the one who created the playlist. The previous song ended a while ago, now it was one of Hozier’s songs that was playing. I held onto her tighter and asked Siri to skip to the next song.

She sighed into my arms. “I want the epidural now, fuck this.”

I nodded as I pressed on the button at the side, the one that alerted the nurses that we needed some assistance.

My hair was beyond disheveled, my eyes were burning, my hands felt sore, it’d been ten hours, the baby—Clay—arrived and Juliette finally fell asleep, while the baby was cradled in my arms. I was fighting sleep, looking after Juliette and this beautiful angel who had Juliette’s bright, beautiful brown eyes. So far, he’d been yawning, sleeping, and fussing whenever it was time for him to eat.

My chest tightened every time I looked at him, it was like this newfound love, it was overwhelming, and this need to protect and care for him and Juliette was uncontrollable. What I felt was truly unexplainable. Holding him for the first time was a wonder. The doctor informed us about how little support babies had in their necks so when holding a baby, the neck had to be supported. I was in awe but also freaking out because Clay’s head was certainly big so in my mind, I kept chanting:

I have to support his neck, I have to support his neck, I have to support his neck.

Once those thoughts subsided, tears welled into my eyes. He was so small, so fragile. He was alive and the most vulnerable he would ever be.

He didn’t even know he was alive, he didn’t know us and how much we loved him already. How could I feel this much love already?

I had a strange feeling buried deep, deep inside me.

Watching Clay and Juliette do the skin-to-skin bond was beautiful.

I tried Ardley a couple more times after Juliette was given the epidural—it was the same as before, straight to voicemail. How could Ardley not make it? How could anyone miss the birth of their baby? That moment has become my favorite memory. If I could go back in time, or even travel through my memories, I’d visit this memory every day for the rest of my life.

Juliette was tired, she lost a lot of blood. I didn’t know how common it was but somehow she looked even more lifeless once she gave birth. The doctors told me if the baby came a few weeks earlier she’d be in grave danger. She didn’t have enough nutrients, her body was not strong enough for birth, but she did it. They keep telling me she’d be fine like I shouldn’t have been worried about her condition.

I stood up as I pulled the cover up a little to keep her warm. With the baby in one hand, I pulled out my phone from my back pocket and dialed Crystal’s number. I didn’t question the fact that it was five a.m., this was important.

After three rings she picked up with a groggy voice, “Callum?”

“Good morning, Crystal, I just had something to run to you.”

“Yeah?”

She shuffled in bed, probably reaching for her laptop to solve whatever issue I’d throw in her lap.

“You know those people that takes care of the baby and the mother day and night after childbirth—”

“A doula?”

she quickly corrected me.

I nodded as I paced the hospital room, constantly glancing at Juliette to make sure I wasn’t disturbing her rest. “Yes, yes! Can you hire me someone as soon as possible? It’s an emergency and don’t worry about how much they cost, just get me the best, preferably someone kind and gentle.”

“Okay,”

Crystal replied, “I’ll find you someone.”

“Thank you.”

I smiled, then hung up.

I gently placed Clay inside his bassinet, and finally sat down to take a short nap.

I didn’t exactly remember when I fell asleep but when I peeled my eyes open, there was sunlight in the room and a tall, suited man was standing in front of Juliette.

I yawned. “Where were you, Ardley?”

He glanced at me over his shoulder and the man was not Ardley. I immediately stood up and pulled him back from Juliette. I looked for Clay who was still in his bassinet. I released a heavy breath as I turned to look at him.

Dark buzz hair, brown eyes, olive skin. His brows shot up in amusement as he slowly looked at me up and down.

He didn’t look familiar—he was someone I’d never seen before.

“Who the fuck are you?”