Candle In The Wind

Chapter Thirty Nine

Couple Nights Ago (Dinner Night)

“Hey,”

I whispered as I approached him on the porch. He was sitting outside—just staring off into the darkness. I joined him on the bench with a hand on my waist. It was breezy outside—he had a jacket on and so did I.

I woke up in the middle of the night, the rain had stopped, and I wanted to get some fresh air. I pulled on Callum’s jacket while he was still passed out in bed and went outside, but that’s when I realized I wasn’t alone.

I didn’t check the time so I didn’t know how late it was, but I could tell it was really late. Ardley was sitting outside alone, unmoving, just staring off into the darkness. He could’ve just come out here or he could’ve been here for a really long time.

It felt awkward. I knew he knew I was there, but he didn’t bother to say anything or even glance at me. It was like he was leaving it up to me to decide if I should stay or bolt.

“Hey,”

he said curtly, maybe once he realized that I wouldn’t bolt. “What are you doing out here so late?” He still hadn’t glanced at me yet.

That question made a lot of sense because I was pregnant, it was late, and dark outside.

I swallowed. “The rain had stopped, and it usually smells like grass after it rains. I recently started liking that smell.”

I took a deep breath, and I was right, it smelled like fresh grass, delicate and earthy. I could smell the damp soil and the trees, the air felt lighter and fresher. It smelled like earth.

There was a roof under the bench to protect anyone who sat there while it rained so I was disappointed at the fact that I couldn’t look up to read the stars. It was a clear night sky tonight. The crickets sang and the tree branches moved with the wind.

“Yeah, it’s a really…nice smell,”

he finally said.

My gaze dropped to my lap as I looked at my folded hands. “I’ve been having troubles with baby names. I can’t think of anything, he’s almost here and I don’t want us to keep calling him “it”

or “baby”, you know?”

“Sure,”

he answered vaguely, clearly not interested in the topic.

“I was wondering if you could help at all—”

“When we learned it was a boy, Celeste immediately thought of Clay, but she was holding off from telling you because she wasn’t too sure about it. She wanted to be sure,” he said.

“Clay is a nice name.”

I smiled. “Did you ever think of anything?”

He shook his head. “I was planning on agreeing on whatever Celeste chose.”

Before I could get a word in, he turned around and looked at me, his eyes were sunken. Even here in the darkness, I could see how bad he looked. His hair was disheveled and there was a deep frown on his face. He looked miserable. I pulled my lips into a thin line, feeling horrible for having him talk about Celeste. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for him. I could’ve just come up with a list of names and we could’ve both agree on one.

“Listen,”

he began, “I know you’re going to care for this baby, not because it’s what Celeste would’ve wanted but because…biologically, that baby really is your child.”

My heart started racing, sure I am the baby’s real mother, but he started to sound like he was backing away.

“Yeah, I mean—and you’re the father.”

“Sure,”

he replied again with that same vague answer.

He blinked, then took a deep breath. “All I’m saying is…”

he paused, taking another deep breath. “Celeste is gone.” His voice shook.