Capone

11. Erin

11

erin

After watching two movies I decided to find Capone’s bedroom. Sonya was in the kitchen when I passed by to head up the stairs. She offered a smile as she continued chopping up onions. I quietly took the steps and followed his vague directions. Just like he promised, at the very end of the hall were two wooden doors that I assumed belonged to the master suite.

As I slowly walked down the hall, I took in all the different pieces of art that adorned the walls. Some pieces were as simple as a red dot in the middle of a canvas. I was in the wrong line of work if all I had to do was drop some paint on a canvas and sell it for thousands of dollars.

I tapped lightly on the door and then turned the knob to let myself into the room. When my hand turned the knob to the door, I didn’t expect to see what was behind the door. My breath was caught in my throat as my eyes zoomed to every inch of this beautiful bedroom. The columns, archways, windows, and everything in between. Whoever designed this house knew exactly what they were doing, and I prayed they were compensated very well.

The light wooden floors carried you into a peaceful oasis. Although the room was darkened, you could still see how much light consumed this room the minute the shades were opened. The bed was the focal point of the bedroom, with three oversized radius windows behind it. I could see the beautiful backdrop of the trees through the sheer curtains.

Capone was fast asleep on his back in the black marble platform bed. I couldn’t help but to take in every piece of this room. From the sitting room, over toward the double doors that let you out on a terrace that overlooked the pool and the rest of the property. It was so quiet, private, and calming.

This room was serene.

I felt at peace from the moment I opened the door and could smell the eucalyptus in the air. It didn’t help that Capone’s bed looked even more comfortable, with him cuddled up under the huge down comforter.

Quietly, I walked over toward his side and noticed the prescription bottles, water bottles, and his phone sitting on the night table. I wanted to pick up the bottles and examine what kind of medicine he was on.

There was so much that he didn’t tell me about him, and I was slowly finding things out on my own, which I didn’t like. I felt like a hypocrite because there was so much I was hiding about myself too.

As if I had a bunch of hair under this wig. I was completely bald unless I was too lazy and allowed my patches to grow. Then it was the whole conversation about my parents, which I hate to even bring up. It wasn’t like I couldn’t bring it up because it was a part of me, my history.

“If you wanted to get in bed with me all you had to do was ask.” I jumped when I heard Capone’s voice.

All the heat in my body rushed to my cheeks as I slowly turned around to look at him. His eyes were closed, arm behind his head, and he was relaxed. “I watched two movies and you’re still asleep.”

He slowly opened his eyes. “I try to get my nine hours of sleep, so when I don’t my body shuts down on me.” He moved over and patted the bed. “Get in, Gorgeous… seems like we need to have a chat.”

I hesitated a bit before climbing into bed beside him. He tossed the covers over me and I sunk deeper into the bed. “How is it possible that this mattress tops the one in the guest room?”

“An old head once told me that you have to invest in your sleep. It’s the one consistent thing that you’re always going to do, even when they lower you into the ground.”

“I’ve been living life wrong then. My bed is comfy, but it ain’t nothing like this,” I continued to make myself comfortable. “Oh my God… I don’t want to move.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Ha don’t be slick… you still have to take me home,” I reminded him as I closed my eyes and continued to sink deeper into this mattress.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Hmm?” I asked, my eyes closed like his had been a few seconds ago.

Capone reached over and pulled me closer to him, causing my heart to flip in the process. Being this close to him, smelling his scent, caused the butterflies to stir in my stomach. God, he smelled so good. Like cedarwood and rosemary. I wanted to put my head under his arms and take a whiff.

“Ask me what you want to know… I only have one condition.”

I leaned up, turning to face him. “Oh really? What is that condition?”

Even though I was sitting up, Capone still pulled me even closer to him as he continued to lay comfortably in his bed.

“Don’t get mad when I’m giving you the truth.”

I laughed. “Why would I get mad at you giving me the truth?”

He screwed his face up as he looked over at me. “Stop fronting like women don’t be begging for the truth and the minute they get it, they pissed.”

I couldn’t argue with him because it was true. We always wanted the truth and then when it came, we were even more pissed.

“Fair.”

“Ask me whatever you want.” He closed his eyes and waited for me to ask the questions I had been dying to know.

“Why did you lie to me about having kids?”

“Never lied.”

“You never mentioned having kids.”

“Kid,” he corrected me. “I never lied to you. Just because I didn’t mention it doesn’t mean I lied to you. I have a son, Capone Jr. I don’t speak about him, and not too many people know he exist. I keep him far away from this life, and if you would have given me the chance, I would have told you about him. He’s not a secret, I’m just selective with who I bring around him.”

“How old is he?”

“Six. He’ll be seven in a few weeks.” He smiled when he spoke about his son.

Even without me ever meeting him, I could tell that his son was his entire world. “And his mother?”

“She’s my best friend. We tried the relationship shit for a minute and realized that it didn’t work. Now we co-parent our son together.”

I pursed my lips. “Every man says that about his baby mother and then be sleeping with her behind closed doors.”

“I still fuck from time to time,” he nonchalantly replied.

Now I understood what he meant when he told me not to get mad. I wanted to snatch this blanket from my body and get out of his bed. How dare he admit that he still fucked his baby mother while I was sitting in his bed?

“Now you all in your feelings because I told yo’ ass the truth.”

“I’m not in my feelings.” I crossed my arms. “Just confused on why you texting me threats and tossing my phone in water when you still fuck your baby mother.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

I rolled my eyes. “As if you’re going to stop fucking your baby mother because I said not to.”

He reached up and guided my face until I was staring directly down into his eyes. “Tell me right now that you don’t want me sharing your dick… I’ll stop fucking her.”

Why was it so hard for me to tell him that I wanted him to stop fucking her? There was a small part of me that felt like I didn’t have the right to request something like that. He had been the one following behind me and trying to take me out while I pretended I wasn’t interested. What right did I have to tell him what he could or couldn’t do?

“You’re a single man so you can fuck whoever you want.”

“Even you?”

“Not me… but anyone you want.” I looked away to avoid having to stare into his eyes. “The pill bottles?”

“Sickle cell anemia,” he honestly replied.

“Oh.”

How else was I supposed to respond to what he shared with me? I was at a loss for words, and it wasn’t because he had sickle cell. It was because he felt comfortable enough to tell me that he had sickle cell.

“The reason I never showed up for our date was because I was going through a pain crisis. Whenever I get like that I tend to shut down and block everyone out… the shit ain’t for the weak and I don’t like people seeing me that way.”

His hand found its way to my thigh as he softly rubbed it, while staring up at me. “I didn’t know.”

“Nah. Stand on business behind what you felt. It was fucked up of me and I could have picked up the phone and told you.”

“If you were in pai—”

“Stop trying to give me an out… an excuse, Gorgeous. I’m a grown man that knows right from wrong, and I was wrong.”

“Well, I didn’t want to come off as insensitive, but you sure could have called or sent a text,” I snorted.

“You were right to be upset and being honest, that shit turned me on. Any other chick would have let it slide because of who I am. Had I pulled up on them, they would have been excited and tossed they panties at me. You gave me your ass to kiss, and I like that shit.”

“Action is what excites me. A man who is about the words he speaks. Your cars, home, and everything you have is nice, but I don’t care about none of it. Honoring your word is what matters to me.”

He caressed my hand and kissed the back of it. “I see that.”

“Your situation with your baby mother… I’m not going to pretend like it doesn’t make me nervous.”

The truth was that it did make me nervous that he was close to his baby mother. It would have been easier if she was some random chick he met and had a child with. The fact that they were friends that tried to have a relationship, scared the shit out of me.

She meant something to him, and she would probably come before me. “Tell me what makes you nervous.” He leaned up against the headboard and pulled me over into his arms.

“She’s your best friend, Capone. This isn’t some chick you had a baby with… in a way, she would come before me.”

He held my chin as he stared into my eyes. “When we decide to take this seriously, nobody will come before you.”

“If you are still fucking her, you can’t tell me that she won’t feel a way about me.” As much as he wanted to paint this perfect picture of co-parenting, I knew better. If they were sleeping together then there were feelings still involved, and I didn’t want to step in the middle of that.

“She may.”

“Obviously you have feelings for her if you’re still sleeping with her.” I pointed out and he shook his head no.

“Do I love her? Without a doubt. Am I in love with her?”

“Are you in love with her?” I held my breath as I waited for his answer.

“I haven’t been in love with her for a long time. She means a lot to me; I’m not going to deny that. We been through certain shit that you’d never be able to relate with me on. I trust El with my life… I know she would never steer me wrong, and that she has my back like I have hers.”

“It’s clear that you respect her, and that you have a lot of love for her. Why didn’t you just stay with her or try to work it out?”

“Love and respect aren’t enough, Gorgeous. We both know that we should have never crossed that line from friends. I don’t regret it because we had our son, and he’s the example of the love we both have for one another.”

His soft kisses on my jaw sent shock waves through my body. “I don’t feel right telling you what you should do when it comes to her. We’re not together so it’s not my place to tell you that I think you should stop sleeping with her.”

“Fair.”

Capone grabbed me and pulled me onto him. I straddled him while staring down into his eyes and wanting them to only be reserved for me. When he looked at me with those eyes it made me wonder if he looked at her with the same eyes.

Or did he once look at her the same way?

This is why I never dated. It was way too complicated, and I never knew how I should feel. Should I feel jealous? Was I even allowed to feel jealous because of his relationship with his baby mother?

“Look at me, Erin.”

My name leaving his lips sent a slow chill up my back. He said it with such force, yet, there was a gentleness to it. He said it in a way that only he would be able to say it. It was reserved for just him.

I met his gaze as he held me around the waist. “This scares me, Capone. I don’t do this . This isn’t even me. I’ve had relationships in the past and they never worked out because I never allow myself to open up and feel.”

Before giving a man a chance, I automatically shut down and offered the bare minimum. I was scared of opening myself to being hurt again. When Naheim went to prison, it hurt because he was the last man I had ever loved. He promised he would always be there for me and then he disappeared. How could I trust another man when the one I trusted let me down? It was the main reason I held people accountable when they gave me their word. Your word was everything and if you couldn’t keep it, it forced me to raise those walls around my heart.

He gripped my hips tighter as he looked into my soul. “I’m not those other niggas, Erin. With me, I’m gonna make you feel shit that you’ve never felt before. You fucking with a grown man, a man who knows what he wants. You think you the only one scared? I know you have the power to make a nigga crash out behind you. I also know that you have the power to make me feel shit I never felt before, and that scares a nigga.” He placed a soft kiss on my lips.

“I doubt that.”

“You had me ready to lay a nigga out in the club over you. I don’t like seeing another nigga’s hands on what I know is mine.”

“Wanna know something?”

“What’s that?”

“I haven’t even given you the kitty yet and I got you feeling like this,” I playfully mushed him, and he laughed.

Capone let out this hearty laugh that vibrated my soul. I could tell it wasn’t often that he released a laugh like this one. “You still want me to take you home?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I have to work in the morning.”

“Let me drive you to work in the morning.”

“That would be nice, except I don’t have my uniform.”

“I’ll drive you home to pack an overnight bag… how about that, Ms. Excuses.”

I debated for a little bit before I finally smiled and gave in to what he wanted. Maybe I wanted it, too. “I will be sleeping in the guest room.”

“We gonna see about that one.” He flipped me onto the bed and got on top of me. “The fuck you doing to me, Erin ?”

As much as I blushed whenever he called me Gorgeous, it was something different when he called me by my name. “We shall see.” I winked and reached up to kiss him first this time.