Capone

12. Capone

12

capone

“Are you even paying attention to me?” Capri flagged her hand in front of my face while I was driving.

I finally snapped out of my thoughts and realized that she had been talking to me the whole time. We were driving to visit Cappadonna this weekend and my mind was on Erin when it should have been on seeing my twin for the first time in weeks. I never went this long without seeing him. Despite being separated for this long, me and Capp remained close and thick as thieves. I didn’t make a move without getting his opinion on the matter.

It had been a week since I had Erin in my bed, and I could still smell her all over my sheets. When my housekeeper suggested changing my sheets, I damn near fired her ass. I wanted to smell her a little bit longer since I hadn’t been able to see her. It was crazy how this woman had me crashing out bad behind her. I didn’t even smell or taste the pussy and she had me ready to risk it all to be up under her.

Between Erin’s work schedule and not wanting her brother to find out she’s dating, I had to fit in wherever she fit me in, which was something I wasn’t used to. I was used to sending a text and having women grovel at my feet for a little bit of my time. It was the complete opposite when it came to Erin. It wasn’t like I had much free time to sit around and see where I fit in.

After the shooting at the club, I had been putting fires out left and right, so my time was limited, too. It was obvious that the shooting at the club was revenge for the barbeque shooting. I had maintained peace with Trill for years and now this stupid little nigga started a fucking war over a dice game.

A war that ended my little homie’s life. All because of a fucking dice game. A war that I didn’t fucking need right now. Trilla didn’t give a damn who he hit, as long as they were connected to me. For years, he sat back holding that anger and animosity toward me and Cappadonna. He half expected that Cappadonna being locked up would stop us. Trilla couldn’t stand that somebody that came up under him had surpassed him. He wasn’t controlling the streets now and he damn sure wasn’t touching the amount of money we were pulling in.

I was fucked up when Naheim called me later that night to confirm that it was Nico who had been killed. He was out that night celebrating his twenty-first birthday, and then he ended the night in the fucking morgue. I couldn’t sleep that night, so I stayed up all night pacing my office. When Erin woke up to find me making her breakfast, it was because I needed something to do. Something else to focus on because memories of me and Nico flooded my mind. Nico wasn’t some low-level flunky that I didn’t give a shit about. I knew his family, checked in with them frequently.

I was the reason he had been able to move his moms out the hood and provide for his family. How could I look his mother in the face knowing that her son was now going to be buried, and she would never see him again? This was the side of the life that I could do without. It was the side of the game that made me heartless. I turned my emotions off because there was no room for none of that.

Capri would never understand because me and Cappadonna kept her and our parents far removed. We both agreed when getting into the life that we would never involve them. I moved my parents out to a big ass estate in Jersey, and when Naheim married Capri, he took on the role of her protector. I warned him before he married her that whatever shit we had going on in the streets, he needed to make sure my sister stayed far removed from it. So far, he had honored my request and for that I was grateful.

“What you said?”

Capri kissed her teeth and rolled her eyes. “I was asking about Erin… I was thinking about inviting her over to my house for my birthday brunch.”

“You just met her, and you already want to invite her to your birthday party.”

“Brunch,” she corrected.

I laughed. “Well, excuse me… brunch .”

Capri clicked around in her phone. “She seems like good people, and since you seem serious about her, I guess it makes sense for me to get to know her, too.”

“Who says I’m serious about her?”

Capri screwed her face up. “Capone, nobody comes to your house. The only people that come to your house are family. If you weren’t serious about her, you would have taken her to a hotel.”

I hated how much my sister knew me. Capri may have been the youngest, but she knew me and Capp like the back of her hand. Erin was the first woman I had ever taken to my house. Ella didn’t count because I considered her family.

If you weren’t my family, then you didn’t know where I lived. I was big on not shitting where you slept. It was risky bringing Erin to my house, especially because I didn’t know her like that. There was something about her that forced me to trust her. When I looked into her eyes I felt peace.

“Maybe I am.”

“Have you spoken to Ella about it?” I didn’t need to look over at my sister’s face to see that she had her eyes rolled up in her head with the mention of Ella’s name.

Capri, Ella, and Tasha used to be thick as thieves. Ella and Capri were friends before me and her even became friends. Ella was older than Capri, still, younger than me. I knew she was my little sister’s best friend, but she eventually became mine. El was so chill and easy to talk to that we fell into this friendship organically.

At a time when I felt like nobody understood what I was going through, Ella did. I was struggling with my health, trying to get my family out the hood and dealing with a bunch of shit. El came in and she showed me that she was a friend, and she had my back.

When Capri eventually found out about us, she wasn’t mad. She supported us because that was how Capri was. She wanted everyone around her to be happy. When Ella got pregnant with Capone Jr. she threw the biggest baby shower for us. When we lost our daughter, she came over to our crib every day to sit and just console her friend. I could set my clock to when Capri was going to come over to sit with Ella, or help with Capone Jr.

Capri was more of a friend than Tasha had ever been to Ella. No matter how much Capri tried to be there for Ella, she pushed her away. For whatever reason, Ella stopped trying when it came to their friendship. Most friendships ended because people grew apart. Ella never gave Capri a chance, or a reason why she stopped fucking with her. Losing her friend hurt more than words, and not knowing the reason made it hurt that much more.

What hurt Capri the most was that Ella and Tasha were still friends. They had pushed Capri out of their friendship circle and never explained why. I swore the minute me and Ella started fucking around that I would never get involved in their friendship. There was so many times I wanted to pull El’s card about that shit and never did.

That was woman’s business, and it wasn’t my place to get involved in their friendship. It was hard not to look at Ella a certain way though. How you go from being best friends to acting like Capri didn’t exist in your world?

“We not together. I don’t have to consult with her about everything that I do.” I briefly looked over at Capri, who wasn’t convinced.

Out of respect for Ella, I told her shit that was going on in my life. She used to do the same and then started withholding information. I didn’t care because everything eventually always got back to me. I had heard she was fucking some lame nigga for a minute and then she ended things. I guess that’s why she called herself pushing us to get back together and have another baby.

Capri snickered. “Does she know that?”

“Let me worry about my personal shit, ight?”

Capri held her hands up. “Well excuse me. Ella has always had a crush on you, and she used that best friend card to get exactly what she wanted. It’s funny how she used our friendship to get you.”

“Pri, come on,” I stressed.

She made a zipper motion across her mouth. “Won’t say another word.”

We sat at the visitation table waiting for my brother to be let out for our visit. I needed to lay eyes on him and make sure he was good. I couldn’t wait until the day he was released from those gates. Capri sat messing around with her hands as we both waited for him to come out.

Cappadonna being away from our family this long had been hard on all of us. We all just wanted him home and away from this place. Every time I pulled out the parking lot a piece of me died knowing I was leaving him behind those gates.

It didn’t matter how much money we had now, whenever a lawyer looked at the case, they couldn’t find any loopholes on how to get his conviction overturned without him telling them who the gun really belonged to, and Capp would rather die before he did that.

The gates opened and I watched as all the prisoners filed out to their visitors. Capp strolled out, towering over most of the guards and prisoners. He nodded at one of the other guards and then sat down across from us.

“Took you long enough.”

Capp ignored me and focused in on Capri. “I didn’t know you were coming, Pri.” He reached across the table and touched her hand.

“It’s been a while. Sorry. I was busy with studying for finals and then the graduation… I’ve had a lot going on.”

“Don’t ever apologize for being great, Baby Doll.”

She smiled. “How are you though?”

“I’m straight… you know that.” He looked over at me. “You both know that, right? Don’t be out there wasting time worried about me.”

“Can’t wait for you to be out this place… fucking hate coming here,” I grilled the guard that always gave me problems when I came up here.

It was like he got a hard on whenever he saw my name on the visitation log. “I’ll be out of here soon… I can taste that shit.”

“I’ve been working with the realtor to find you the perfect house.”

Cappadonna was always in good spirits whenever we visited, but he never smiled. The only time he smiled was when my mother or Capri came to visit. None of the men in our family played about the women in our lives. Capp would lay down and die for my mother or Capri without a second thought. He felt bad being away and not being there. Every time my mother visited I could tell it broke her piece by piece seeing her son behind bars.

When he smiled at the mention of Capri finding his home, it was a small reminder that our current situation wasn’t forever. The day would come when he would get out these gates and leave this place behind while never looking fucking back.

“Baby doll, I appreciate you helping me out. I think I'm gonna leave it to Kendra to find where we’re going to live.”

Capri rolled her eyes so hard I thought they were gonna fall out of her head. She felt the same way I did about Kendra and the bullshit that she was always on.

“When are you going to stop messing with her? Kendra is for the streets, Cappy,” Capri reminded him of what I've been telling him all these years.

If he thought she wasn’t fucking the team while he was behind this wall, he was a fool.

“I supported you when you wanted to be with Naheim, right?”

“Yes, bu—”

“All I'm asking for is the same respect I give… the both of you. You don’t have to like Kendra, but respect our shit.”

“I just want you happy.”

“You think I'm gonna ever be happy in here? Kendra been holding me down… let me get out of here and see shit for myself. I never been the type that moved off other people’s words.”

“Do you want something from the vending machines?” Capri switched the subject because she knew there was no getting through to Capp.

“Yeah. Get me whatever.”

With Capri gone, Capp leaned forward. “I heard about Nico, how you doing?”

“I’m fucked up. How the fuck am I supposed to look his mother in the face?”

“Like a man, Capone. Stand up straight and hold her down. We’ll continue to make sure she straight out of respect for Nico.”

“Yeah.”

“You need to check all that other shit at the door and tap in. Trill can’t walk around like shit is all good. I know you spared him plenty of times to keep the peace, but like I keep telling you, there could only be one king. You already know what needs to be done.”

“Sayless.”

I spared Trilla because I didn’t need to take him out because he wasn’t my competition. As much as Trilla loved to believe he was, his work wasn’t touching the shit I flooded the streets with. If anything, he could watch and take notes. Capp felt differently and felt like I should have put that nigga under the minute Trill was released from prison.

“I already know you going to handle business. Besides all that… how is my nephew?”

“Getting big as shit. I can’t believe he’s about to be seven. Where did the time fucking go?” I sighed, thinking about how fast my son was growing.

It was crazy because I still remembered the day he was born. When my son was born, I made a promise that he would never know struggle. I would always be there and put my best foot forward when it came to him. My father had been the perfect example of how a father was supposed to love their children. Even with him working all the time, he always made time for me and Capp. I wanted to be that kind of father to Capone Jr.

I never wanted him to look at his privileged life and have no memories of his father being there. Everything I had worked for was because of him and any children that I had in the future.

“I can’t wait to get out so I can really spend time with him… Something don’t sit right with having him come in here and see me. I don’t want him to ever get used to the inside of a prison.”

The last time Capone Jr. visited Capp was when he was four years old. He had already knew the process and had got excited about getting snacks from the vending machine. Once Capp saw how he had gotten used to the process of seeing his uncle, he shut it down and told me to never bring him back up here.

That didn’t stop him and Capone Jr. from having a relationship. They spoke on the phone every time he was with me, and Capp called. I couldn’t wait for my brother to have that relationship with his nephew.

“You gonna be tired of his ass real quick. He so damn smart and talk so much… I always tell Ella that he’s gonna be better than me, and I could die knowing I created a better version of me.”

Cappadonna looked over his shoulder for Capri, who was waiting in line at the machine. “Speaking of El, how she been?”

Even Capp knew not to mention Ella when Capri was around. “She straight. Been asking me about another baby.”

“You gonna give it to her?”

“Conflicted.”

“On what? You love being a father. It’s been a little minute since Naomi passed. It’s not off the wall for her to want another one. She’s a good mother, too. You hit the jackpot when it comes to baby mamas.”

“It’s complicated, Capp. I met somebody and having a baby with Ella might fuck up those chances.”

“Who?”

“You acting like you know her… her name is Erin.”

“Sounds familiar. Where she stay at?”

“She and Naheim used to mess around when they were younger.”

Capp laughed. “Oh, that Erin.”

I leaned up. “What the fuck you mean that Erin?”

“Me and Nah met on the inside. What the fuck you think we do in here? Ain’t shit to do but talk and we’ve had a few conversations about her.”

I leaned back in the cold metal chair and looked across the table at my twin. “You think he still have feelings for her?”

Cappadonna cocked his head to the side and stared at me before he spoke. “You really like this one, huh?”

“Something different about her, Capp… I like her.”

It had been a minute since a woman had me as open as Erin had, and I hadn’t even hit yet. I couldn’t explain how I felt whenever I got around her. She reminded me of the first day of school with new clothes.

There was this excitement that brewed in my gut whenever I saw her. Maybe it was because she wasn’t so pressed to impress me. Erin was her own person and didn’t switch on the count of me. I had become so bored with women because there was no challenge. They accepted whatever I tossed their way and Erin was far from that type.

“Naheim did all his time and never reached out to her on purpose. After all she had been through, he didn’t want to further interrupt her life. You think I would have given him my blessing to marry Capri if I thought he was still caught up on her?”

I ignored everything my brother had mentioned and narrowed in on one thing. “What you mean everything she had been through?”

Cappadonna leaned back in his chair and stroked his beard. “Shit is wicked. Naheim got word once he got up here that her pops killed her moms, then himself.”

“Fuck.” It was my turn to lean and process everything that he had just told me.

Both times when we had been around shooting, Erin froze in her tracks. It wasn’t a normal freeze either. It was like her soul was out her body and she was watching it as she stood frozen in place.

Capp whistled. “That ain’t even the fucked up part. He did that shit in front of her. She had the blood and brain matter on her when the EMT’s and police officers arrived at the house.”

“What the fuck? So, she witnessed that shi—”

“Witnessed what?” Capri plopped down beside me and shoved all the snacks and drinks she bought across the table.

We never spoke business around Capri, and she knew it. I wanted to keep her from this life and her not knowing anything protected her in the long run. She hated the shit because she swore we treated her like a child. It didn’t matter that she was married and was grown, I would always see her as my little sister and because of that, I had to protect her.

“Yo, they got those cinnamon rolls?” Cappadonna tossed a smile over toward Capri, who in return rolled her eyes.

“I know you just want me away so you can continue talking without me around.” She got up from the table and got back in line for the vending machines.

Cappadonna looked over his shoulder to make sure Capri was back in line before he continued. Leaning forward, he looked to his left and then right before speaking. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear about that shit. It was all over the news, even behind these walls.”

I racked my brain trying to remember what he was talking about. “It’s not ringing a bell.”

“People talk and I heard her father was connected to Trilla. He was one of his truck drivers. I’m willing to bet that shit wasn’t a suicide… more like assisted suicide.”

“You said he popped himself right in front of her… how you figure?”

“We both know just because you pull the trigger there’s always someone else behind it. Even if you put the gun to your own head.”

My mind went racing because now I needed to know more. “And you sure Trilla is involved?”

“Don’t know for sure… just heard some shit.”

“Capp, I know you better than anyone. Talk don’t come your way unless there’s some truth to it.”

“The fuck you want me to tell you, Capo? I only know bits and pieces… we know people on the force. Pull some strings and find out. I know what I heard behind here… you the one that’s out there. All I’m saying is that Trilla needs to be dealt with in more ways than one.”

“Sayless.”

When I walked into the house and smelled the aroma of food, I already knew Ella was here. My son’s kicked off sneakers and soccer equipment sprawled all over the floor was indications enough. I usually never cared when Ella popped over because I never invited women over to my crib. Shit, I welcomed the home cooked meal every now and then, but not tonight.

I was tired from that drive to see my brother. Driving six hours there and then six hours back had my body sore as fuck. Capri wanted to do dinner, and I could never tell my sister no, so I took her out to eat at her favorite Italian restaurant.

When I finally rounded the corner, I spotted my son watching TV, while Ella was in the kitchen washing dishes. Capone Jr. must have sensed I was there because he quickly turned around as soon as I entered the space.

“Dad!” He yelled, running into my arms.

I picked him up and kissed him on the cheek. “What’s up?”

“Ain’t nothing but the sky.”

I laughed because my son was the spitting image of me. He acted just like me and wanted to do everything that I did. I had to be the example for him because I refused for him to end up in the streets trying to prove he was about that life.

With how hard I worked to give him this life, he never needed to prove shit to anybody. I wanted to keep him far removed from this life that I lived. Everyone looked at us and envied all that we had, not knowing how much this life had taken from us. How many sacrifices we had to make in order to live this life.

When I was younger, I had no other choice but to get it out the mud. The decisions me and his uncle made were to better our family. My own goal was to give him the life that I never had coming up.

With how hard I worked to give him this life, he never needed to prove shit to anybody. I wanted to keep him far removed from the life that I lived. All of what we had accomplished was to give him the life that we never had.

“How was school?” I asked, while putting him back down onto the floor.

He followed behind me into the kitchen where I kissed his mother on the forehead. “Your son got detention. I didn’t even know they had detention for six-year-olds.” Ella sat with her hand on her hips.

Capone Jr. avoided eye contact with me after his mother blew his spot up. I shook my head as I washed my hands. “Why you got detention?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Pony, tell your father why you got detention.”

He heaved a sigh. “I punch Dakota Hanks in the face.”

My body tensed up. “Dakota a boy or a girl?”

“That’s not the point, Capone,” Ella quickly interjected.

“Boy,” Capone Jr. whispered.

Had it not been for Ella, I probably would have allowed our son to get away with everything. She was the stern parent while I was more laid back and chill with our son. I guess she felt like she had to be more hands on since she had taken a break from parenting to grieve. I didn’t believe in being all stern and punishing my kid when I could just have a conversation with him.

Ella was the complete opposite.

“Why did you punch him?”

Ella slapped the granite countertop while giving me that look she always gave whenever we weren’t on the same page. “Capone!”

“The fuck you wa—”

“Go and shower and I will be up to tuck you in, Pony,” she told our son and he slowly walked out the room. “And don’t even think about turning that damn game on either!” she hollered behind him.

I sat at the island and emptied my pockets, not mentally in the space to deal with Ella and her complaints about how I choose to parent Capone Jr. CJ wasn’t violent and he didn’t just walk around punching people in the face. Little Dakota had to have done some shit to my son for him to punch him.

“El, you need to ease up on him. Did you hear why he punched the little muthafucka in the face?”

“It doesn’t matter why he punched him in the face, Capone. He needs to learn that he can’t just hit people in the face when he’s upset.”

“The only reason he’s in that white ass school is because you wanted him in there. If you’re not going to sit and find out the reason, then I’m pulling him out.”

Ella waved me off and went into the fridge. “Let me make you a plate. You look tense… how did the visit with your brother go?”

“I ate.”

She froze over the stove. “Oh.”

“I had dinner with Capri.”

Ella cleared her throat. “Hmm.”

As much as I wanted to get into why the fuck she acted that way whenever Capri’s name was mentioned, I didn’t have the energy to go back and forth with her about it. Their relationship would forever remain the same because neither of them wanted to take the step to fix things. Capri really didn’t need to do shit because she had been a friend that Ella needed. Instead, she would rather cherish the relationship with hoe ass Tasha.

“You already know Capp holding it down. He asked about you and CJ,” I answered her previous question to avoid an argument.

Ella continued to clean up the kitchen. “I know he is. We can’t wait for him to finally come home. Pony is always asking when he’s going to come home.”

“Soon,” I smiled.

The most important thing for me was to make sure my brother and son had a close relationship. I think my son was more excited for his uncle to come home than me. I could picture Cappadonna picking CJ up early from school just because he could.

“I wanted to talk about CJ’s party. Since you have the pool and everything, I was thinking we can just do it here and have a pool party. Most of his friends live in this neighborhood anyway.”

Even with being the only house at the top of the neighborhood and secluded, Ella made sure she knew all the neighbors. CJ was friends with a few of them that rode their bikes up the hills to hang out with them. I allowed Ella to take lead when it came to meeting the parents, and for good reason. Every time she came over from one of CJ’s playdates, she had a story about how one of the fathers tried to subtly ask how we afforded the biggest house in the neighborhood.

It was better for me to stay low because I would probably put a nigga’s head through the wall for asking me any questions on how I made my money. El always knew how to handle herself and acted oblivious, as if she didn’t know what they meant.

However, the fuck I provided for my family was my business. If they wanted to know how to get the biggest house in the neighborhood then they needed to step they shit up. As far as me and mine, we were always going to have the fucking best. It was the reason I busted my ass soon as my feet touch the ground in the morning.

“It’s whatever CJ wants. Don’t invite that fucking Dakota either,” I warned her.

She folded her arms and laughed. “Not you having beef with a six-year-old. Dakota and your son get along normally, and he invited him to his party a few months ago. I will not single out that child over a stupid fight that neither of them will remember next week.”

“Yeah, ight… I’m watching that little nigga.”

Ella’s body language went from being relaxed to tense within a second. I watched as she looked away from me briefly. “So, I went to the doctor the other day.”

I didn’t realize I had held my breath until I went to go speak. “Oh yeah. You alright?” I couldn’t deal with her possibly being pregnant.

I would always take care of my seeds and Ella knew she never had to worry about that when it came to me. It wasn’t like we always used protection when we fucked. There was times when I remembered and then others when I just needed to bust a nut and didn’t think about protection.

“I removed my birth control.” The sigh of relief I took pissed Ella off because she rolled her eyes and neck at the same time. I wasn’t relieved that she took her birth control out, I was relieved that she wasn’t about to tell me that she was pregnant. “Are you fucking serious?”

“The fuck you want me to do, El? Praise fucking dance?”

“I thought you would have been more excited about me being off birth control. We talked about having another baby.”

I removed myself from the counter. “El, we never spoke about having a second baby. I said we would have the conversation.” She had a bad habit of remembering shit that she wanted to remember.

Although Naomi didn’t live long, she was my heart and I missed what could have been with her. If I could go back and rewrite the past I would have without a doubt. Ella wanted to live in the past by having another child together and that would only lead to confusion. It would further push her to believe that we needed to be together and that’s not where I wanted to be.

“That’s because you never have the time to sit down and have the conversation. It’s always something else that needs your attention.”

I left her in the kitchen and headed upstairs. If she wanted to fight she was gonna do that shit on her own. I went into CJ’s room where he was sitting up in his bed waiting on his mother to kiss him goodnight.

“You said your night time prayers?” I asked as I sat on the edge of his bed.

“Always. Nana would be upset with me.”

I laughed and nuzzled his soft curly hair. “You right. We both don’t want to get on Nana’s bad side.”

“Nope.”

“What happened today at school?” I wanted to hear what happened from my son, no one else.

Ella could be mad and punish him all she wanted. I knew my son and knew that every action had a reaction. “Dakota kept trying to trip me all day because he thinks it’s funny. I fell at lunch, and I punched him in the face.”

I knew it had to be a reason as to why he punched him in the face. “Do you want him invited to your birthday party?”

CJ gasped while looking at me like I offered to kill Dakota’s ass. “Yes. He has to come to the party.”

“Alright, chill. I just thought you wouldn’t want him there anymore.”

“He has to come.”

I stood up and pulled the blankets over his body before dropping a kiss on his head. “I love you, baby boy.”

“Love you too, Daddy.”

I kissed him once more and closed my eyes. There was no greater love than the love that a parent had for their kid. I would die for this little boy, and he had no clue. Some nights I lay awake and think about all the ways I never want to disappoint him as a father.

“Make sure you send a little prayer up for me, too.” I hit his lights and slowly closed the door behind me.

As I stood outside his door I could hear his little voice behind the door. “God, please help my daddy not be in so much pain anymore. Keep him big and strong for me… okay?”

Not much moved me to tears, but hearing my son pray for me had me about to bawl like a fucking child in this hallway. I shook it off as much as I could and walked down the hall to my bedroom.

I wanted to get in the shower and then bed while calling Erin so I could hear her sexy ass voice. It was crazy how much I missed her today. We had shared a few texts here and there, but I hadn’t heard her voice all day.

Ella was sitting on the couch with her laptop when I entered the room. I should have known she was going to end up staying the night.

“El, I had a long day and I’m not in the mood to argue with you tonight.”

“Why does it have to be an argument? Why can’t we just have a civil conversation about our future together?”

“I don’t want another baby, Ella. I’m good with our son.”

I could see the hurt gather onto her face as she looked at me with those eyes. There was no way around having this conversation. Ella would continue to bring this up and I couldn’t avoid it forever. We had no business trying to have another baby together when we weren’t together.

“You sat and made all these promises that we could try and have another baby after Naomi. Now you’re giving me your ass to kiss.”

“Shit changes, El. I’m not the same person I was when I made that promise and you’re not either. The fuck you want me to do, lie to you? We don’t have no business having another kid together… the shit just causes confusion for everyone involved.”

“I’m not confused. You’re the only one that is confused on what you want. Why don’t you want to have another baby?”

I paused and thought carefully about what I wanted to say before I said it. Ella was sensitive and I didn’t want this to go from me speaking my peace to consoling her and eventually giving in to what she wanted. She knew how to get her way with me.

“I want my next child to be with someone I’m in a relationship with… my wife hopefully. You deserve the same shit. El, you not meant to be a fucking baby mama forever. Don’t you want to have a child with your husband?”

Tears poured down her face as she looked at me betrayed. No matter how I said the shit I would have still been wrong in her eyes. I knew I was partly to blame because I continued to cross those lines with her, and that was probably why she wanted us to get back together. When we broke up, we shouldn’t have continued to fuck, and she shouldn’t have been able to come and go from my house like she lived here.

“Tasha was right.”

“What the fuck was Tasha right about?” I hated that she even mentioned my name in the same sentence as that bitch Tasha.

“She said that you started fucking one of Timmy’s friend’s sister.” Ella jumped to her feet and folded her arms.

Why the fuck was Tasha so invested in my shit when she should have been cooking up work? That was her problem and I realized that I needed to humble her ass. If she wasn’t sucking dick in the back room, she was running her mouth about what I had going on.

“I’m not fucking anybody so tell that dick breath bitch to mind the business that pays her before she ends up on the fucking streets.”

“Don’t try and threaten her job because you’re upset that she blew up your spot. Who is she? You never told me about her.”

“I’m a grown fucking man, Ella. Ain’t no bitch in this world could ever blow up my spot. I do whatever the fuck I want.”

“Including hurting me?”

She had me so frustrated with this conversation that I was trying to bite back my words. I had never disrespected Ella and I never planned to. She was crossing the line with this conversation. How the fuck was I responsible for hurting her when she knew what it was between us? I always gave her the real and didn’t lead her on.

If anything, that was the reason I held off on having the conversation about having another child together. Even before I met Erin, I knew I didn’t want to have another child with Ella. I knew the shit would only end up bad for us and ruin our friendship forever.

“I’m fucking tired and you giving me a headache.” I left the room and went to shower.

As the water ran down my face, I heard the shower door close behind me. I knew I should have locked the door behind me. Ella’s solution to the problem was to fuck. That was because we did it so well. I don’t know how many arguments always went unsolved because I pulled my dick out.

The problem never ended up getting solved and it was brushed under the rug until the next one. Her arms roped around my waist as she placed soft kisses on my back.

“El,” I called out, biting the inside of my cheek because I knew this was going to hurt her. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt Ella, and I knew my next words would hit her in the core.

“Yes… let me take the stress away.” I felt her hands trail down my body as she lowered herself to the floor.

As much as I knew how good my dick would feel in her throat, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t continue to play this game with her. It would only end up with her being the only one hurt. I turned the shower off, leaving Ella on her knees on the shower floor.

“Where are you going? Let me make you feel good, Capone,” she practically begged, as if she knew what was coming next.

“Go get dressed, El,” I tossed over my shoulder and wrapped my towel around my waist before leaving the bathroom.

As I tossed on my pajamas, Ella came trailing out the bathroom with a robe on. “Why are you being like this with me?”

“I’m not being no way with you. The shit is unfair to you and I’m not going to keep doing it for my own selfish gain. I been should have stopped.”

“Doing what? Being with me? Letting us finally be a family again.”

“Fucking you knowing that I have no plans on ever being with you again. That’s the shit that isn’t fair. It’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to our son. Getting his hopes up knowing that his parents will never be together… the shit isn’t healthy.”

My heart twisted as I watched her face break right in front of my eyes. Ella allowed tears to pour down her face while trying to make sense of what I was trying to tell her. I hated to hurt her in the way that I knew only I could. Ella’s heart only beat for me, so I knew I held the power to break her heart.

“I’m sorry, Capone. I will be better… I won’t blow up and be jealous. I can change, I promise.” There were so many reasons why our relationship didn’t work out. It wasn’t just one thing that caused me to end the relationship with Ella.

I walked over toward her slowly. In the past she would toss shit or try to attack me, so I was cautious. When Ella got to that point where she didn’t give a fuck, she would do whatever to get her way. Pulling her into my arms, I dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “El, that shit ain’t fair to you. Trying to change who you are to keep a relationship. We both went through shit when we were together. I don’t want to lose you… you my nigga, El.”

She snatched herself away from me and went to punch me and I backed up in time. “You want your cake and to eat the shit, too. It’s this new bitch that got you setting these bullshit boundaries, huh?”

Just like that she had switched moods and was a different person. I had been putting up with this shit for so long that it didn’t surprise me anymore. Anger burned through my blood as I stood there. I would never put my hand on a woman, and I had never. The way Ella danced on my patience and put her hands on me had me reconsidering.

“Try and punch me in the face again and I promise I will break your fucking neck, Ella,” I said through clenched teeth.

“What the fuc—” she went to hit me, and I shoved her onto the bed, pinning her down to the bed.

“Stop fucking playing with me, Ella. I’m easy and relaxed with you, but don’t forget that I really put niggas through it.” I released her hands and stepped away because I could feel the anger at the tips of my finger. “When morning comes, make sure you get the fuck dressed and get the fuck out my house. Don’t even worry about CJ, I will make sure he gets to school.”

I didn’t wait for her to remove herself from the bed. There were enough bedrooms in this house that I didn’t have to sleep in my room tonight. I checked in on my son before I headed downstairs to the guest room. If Ella knew better, she would get the fuck gone when the morning came.