Capone

13. Erin

13

erin

When I finally made it to my house I wanted to turn back around and run. Jo was sitting on the porch with one of her friends and their daughter. I hated whenever I ran into her when she had company over. She would hold me up from going in the house like she didn’t have company right in her face. As I came closer, I noticed it was one of the ladies that lived a few blocks over. Jo was friendly like that, so I wasn’t surprised she was sitting and chatting with her. While she wasn’t paying attention, I quickly headed to the back of the house hoping she hadn’t noticed me.

“Wait a second, Erin. I need you to come here.” It was the tone of her voice that told me this was important, and I wouldn’t be able to fake my way out of the conversation.

I had worked doubles three times this week and all I wanted more than water was my bed. Even though I was tired I knew I still had to clean my apartment, cook dinner, and spend a little time with Jaiden. I had been so busy with work that I hadn’t checked in on him, which I knew he didn’t mind. He preferred when I wasn’t breathing down his back.

I walked up a few steps and remained there. My body wouldn’t allow me to walk up any further. “Hey Jo… what’s up?”

Jo slowly stood to her feet. “This is Sharon and her daughter, Joie. I’m sure you’ve seen them around the neighborhood.”

“Hey.” I smiled awkwardly and waved, unsure why I needed the introduction. I recognized Sharon because we usually caught the same train in the morning. Other than the usual smile and good morning , we didn’t speak.

“Hey, Erin,” Sharon spoke.

Between Sharon’s body language and my aunt’s facial expression, I knew this couldn’t have been a regular friendly visit. I gripped the banister and prepared for whatever reason this woman was on our porch. “What’s going on?”

“Your brother, Jaylen—”

“Jaiden, Ma,” Joie corrected her.

“I don’t give a damn if his name is Jaylen or Jaiden. None of that matters because he got you pregnant.” Sharon stood there with her arms folded across her big ass chest.

There was something so familiar about the girl that stood close to her mother. I was trying to process what Sharon had revealed while trying to place where I knew this girl from. Joie eyed me cautiously as I stood there staring into thin air.

I wished I had the energy to react the way that I desperately wanted. My body was worn down and I was seeing doubles as I held onto the banister. Work had broken me down this week, as it always did, and this was the last thing that I needed today.

You ever been so mentally tired that you couldn’t process things correctly? That was how I felt in this moment. I heard exactly what Sharon had said, still, my brain was having a hard time trying to process things so I could have the correct reaction.

All I had been looking forward to was a quick nap before having to cook and clean, now I was dealing with this.

“Erin, did you hear her?” Jo asked, waving her hand in front of my face.

I guess Jo was surprised at how calm I was after hearing what Sharon had said. “How do we even know it’s Jaiden’s baby?”

Sharron looked offended like her daughter couldn’t be sleeping around. She was standing in front of us with a belly full of someone’s seed, so the accusation wasn’t that far off.

“What exactly are you trying to say?” Sharon now had her hand on her hips like she was about to push me down the remaining steps.

I snapped my fingers. “Didn’t I just kick you out my house with the rest of Jaiden’s friends a few weeks ago?”

I felt better now that I knew why Joie looked so familiar. When I kicked them out of my house, I didn’t give a damn about names or who she belonged to. The minute she turned her face up; it reminded me of how she looked when I kicked her ass out my house along with Jerome and Timmy.

“She was in your house, and you didn’t think to call me… her mother.” I could already tell what kind of parent Sharon was and I was already tired.

She was the parent that blamed everyone except her daughter. It was her daughter that opened her legs and conceived a baby with the help of my brother (or someone else.) The blame should have been placed on both Joie and Jaiden.

“Other than when I run into you on the train I don’t know you. I damn sure didn’t know she was your daughter. Your issue is with your daughter not with m—”

“How about we take this in the house, and I can get us all something cool to drink,” Jo suggested, being way nicer than I planned to.

I was so happy that Jaiden wasn’t standing in front of me because I would have choked the hell out of him. All I do is work hard to give him a better life and he goes and gets someone pregnant. When did he become sexually active? I thought I had been paying attention when in reality I knew nothing about what my brother was up to.

A fucking baby.

Jo ushered us all upstairs and got all of us something to drink. I couldn’t drink or eat anything because the realization was slowly creeping up on me. I would have rather Jaiden use my credit cards without my permission than have a baby on the way.

“Alright, so, I think Erin was trying to say how are you so sure?” Leave it to Jo to try and be the mediator in the situation.

“I was a virgin when me and Jaiden decided to have sex. He knew that and I think that’s why he pretended to like me. I’ve been calling him, and he has ignored me.”

The teen Erin inside of me believed this girl that stood in front of me. “Why were you all hugged up on his friends when I caught you in my house?”

“Jaiden told me to act like one of their girlfriends because you would be even more upset.” It seemed like Jaiden had everything all figured out.

“Look, I’m sorry for the way I was downstairs. This shit isn’t either of our faults. We both work fulltime jobs while trying to give these kids the best.” She shot a nasty disapproving look at Joie, who looked away. “I think the best thing to do is to let her have an abortion. They are both too young to be parents.”

“I agree.”

Joie shook her head no. “I’m keeping my baby.”

Sharon shot up out the chair like it was on fire. “The hell you are. You think I’m about to miss out on my life while taking care of you and a baby. I am too damn young to be a grandmother and you are going to finish school and go to college. That has always been the plan.”

It was obvious that the both of them were on different pages when it came to having this baby or having an abortion.

“You both are so young, Joie. Having a baby is a huge responsibility and I don’t think you or Jaiden is ready for that. I still have to remind him to clean his room and pick up behind himself.”

Joie had her mind already set on what she was going to do. She didn’t give a damn that Jaiden didn’t know how to do his laundry or the fact that basketball and his PlayStation 5 were the center of his universe.

She only knew the five minutes it took for both she and Jaiden to bust a nut. He probably whispered a bunch of promises he knew he could never keep, and now she was all in love with him. If only I told her how a bunch of sweet promises in the midst of a nigga breaking your hymen meant absolutely nothing, she would never believe me.

“You are getting rid of that baby. I don’t give a damn what dream Jaylen has sold you.” Sharon grabbed her daughter’s hand and Joie snatched it back.

“His name is Jaiden. I’m not going to kill my baby because you want to continue to shake your ass and live your life. I can take care of this baby on my own… I don’t need your help.”

Sharon was flabbergasted as she stood there staring at her daughter with betrayal in her eyes. This was probably the first time Joie had rebelled against her mother. This was the wrong damn time for her to want to stand up for her rights.

“To hell with your fresh ass. I knew when I saw those boys sniffing behind you that you were giving it up to whoever said the right words. Have you learned nothing from me? Your damn father said those same words and then left me with yo’ ass. She’s your problem because as long as that baby is inside her, she doesn’t have a home in my home. Since you so hell bent on keeping that baby for that boy, let him give you and that baby shelter.” Sharon mushed her daughter and left out of the door.

I sat there for a good five minutes before Jo waved her hand in front of my face. Sharon didn’t just go into this whole spiel, and then say that she washed her hands of her own daughter. What kind of mother just pawns her daughter off to the next person without a care?

“I don’t need this shit right now,” I groaned as I tossed myself back into the chair overwhelmed.

Joie sat there unsure of what to do or what to say. “Give Sharon some space to figure things out. I will go by her house tomorrow and talk to her. For now, Joie can stay in my spare bedroom.”

When the kitchen door opened, we all stared at the door thinking that Sharon would be coming through the door. Instead, it was Walt with his lunch bag.

“Hey baby, how was your day?” He kissed my aunt and then looked between me, and Joie confused. “Erin, you good?”

He could probably see the smoke coming out my damn ears. “Ask me after I kill my brother.” I stood up, heading to the door.

“Erin!” Jo called behind me.

“I got it, Jo,” I replied and closed the door behind me.

As much as I appreciated Jo for being the calm one in this situation, I had been way too calm and way too nice when it came to Jaiden. All he had to do was attend school, play basketball, and clean up his room.

Like today, he was at basketball camp all day because I paid for it. Half of the kids on his team didn’t get to do camp this year because their parents couldn’t afford it. I gave my all to give him the best life that I could possibly give him, and this is how he repays me?

That cold shower did nothing to calm my nerves. Nor did cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. I was so damn angry that I snatched my damn wig off and tossed it onto my dresser the minute I stepped through the door.

It had been a little while since Jo shaved my head, so my patches had grown in, and I didn’t give a fuck. I was ready to run out the house and drag Jaiden’s ass into this fucking house. I plopped on the couch and turned on Netflix while waiting for him to stroll in here like everything was all good. He had an hour until camp was over and then another twenty minutes for his commute home. I wished like hell his coach was driving him home today.

My eyes grew heavy as I paid half attention to the show that I put on as background noise. It wasn’t long before I had lost my fight and my body and eyes had given in to sleep.

“Water is cool,” I heard a familiar voice and my eyes popped open.

The sun had gone down and I was still sprawled across the couch with Netflix asking if I was still watching whatever the hell was on screen. I leaned up and locked eyes immediately with Capone sitting in the armchair across the small room.

“You don’t know how to answer your phone?” he asked, unfazed that I was sitting across from him without my wig on.

Shame filled my chest as I quickly jumped up from the couch, catching Jaiden rummaging through the fridge. I was embarrassed that he had saw me like this. My alopecia was a sensitive subject that only those close to me knew about. The guy that I was casually seeing wasn’t supposed to know that I was bald underneath my buss down.

I quickly grabbed one of my silk scarfs and tied it on my head before returning back to the living area. Jaiden was still rummaging through the fridge like he had no home training. I had been so pissed that I didn’t think about cooking anything for tonight.

“What are you doing here?” I knew my cheeks were probably flushed because I was out of my element with Capone sitting in my house.

My little apartment was home to me, but a piece of me felt ashamed because my entire living area was the size of his guest suite. Meanwhile he was sitting here all nonchalant like he was supposed to be in my living room.

“Yooo, E… where’s the food.” I didn’t need to look at my brother to know that he was high as a kite.

He never dragged his words like that and with the way he was rummaging through our fridge, I knew he was high. “You been smoking?” I asked calmly, almost too calm.

My skin was hot to touch because I was livid and trying to keep it cool under pressure. Jaiden was pushing every button I had available, and I didn’t know which one was going to set me off.

“Nah… I been at practice all day so I’m starving,” he looked away, not quick enough because I saw his low reddened eyes.

Capone would have to wait because I had more important matters to handle. “Joie came by the house.”

“For what?” He shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal.

I reached up and slapped the hell out him in the back of his head. “She’s fucking pregnant, Jaiden… that’s why.”

“Oh shit,” I heard Capone mutter from behind me.

“How could you be so fucking stupid? A fucking baby isn’t going to get you into the NBA, Jaiden!” I screamed, unleashing all the anger that had been building with this kid.

Every other day it was always some new bullshit when it came to him. “Erin, I swear we didn’t—”

“You’re fucking right! You didn’t fucking think before sticking your dick in some girl. I’m barely making ends meet now and you want to bring another fucking mouth to feed in here!” I was yelling so hard that my vision was blurry and spit was flying everywhere.

“Don’t worry about mine… I will handle my own shit, E.” If looks could kill my brother would have been face down in that sink of running water.

“Who the fuck—” The rest of my words never made it out my mouth because I went to leap on Jaiden but was pulled away. “Let me fucking go, Capone!” I hollered.

“She swears she knows what the fuck is good for me. You don’t even know what’s good for yourself!” Jaiden got some toughness in his chest and bucked up.

“Oh, you little muthafuc—”

“Aye, tighten up. Chill the fuck out,” Capone whispered into my ear as he held me around the waist, and I was doing everything to get at my brother.

“What in the hell is going on down here?” Jo came through the secondary door that led upstairs.

“Erin always thinking she my mother. Newsflash, you are not my fucking mother, Erin. She’s fucking dead.” Jaiden continued to shove that knife into my chest with each word that left his mouth.

“Jaiden, you need to calm down and respect your sister. Do you know how much she has given up for you?”

“Nobody fucking asked he—”

Capone had loosened his grip, and I broke free of his hand and popped Jaiden right in the mouth. He cowered over near the sink as Capone grabbed me up again, tossing me over his shoulder.

If I hadn’t been so enraged I would have been impressed with how he tossed me over his shoulder like it was nothing. It wasn’t like I was some skinny string bean that he could toss around. I was a proud plush pal.

“Erin, you need to calm down. Do you see yourself right now… trying to fight your brother,” Jo tried to talk to me but all I saw was red.

The nerve of him to open his mouth and spew such ungrateful shit. I did everything that I did because I was his big sister. The only bit of family that he left besides Jo and Riyah. Everything that I did for Jaiden was because I felt guilty that he was robbed of having parents like I had. He acted like all of this was easy.

I worked hard trying to pull myself out of a deep depression and grief, and that shit was the hardest thing I had ever done. My mother taught me everything under the sun, except for how to live without her. How could I mourn a man that took her away? It was such a conflicted feeling because in a weird way I did.

Grief had affected my physical appearance, from losing weight to losing all of my hair. This was something that Jaiden knew nothing about. Even while going through all of that I still made time for him, shielded him from ever knowing how I felt on the inside, and this was the thanks that I got?

“He’s fucking disrespectful and ungrateful. Sitting there with fucking two-hundred-dollar Jordans on your feet. How many doubles did I have to pull for you to get those? That expensive ass bookbag that you just had to have. I fucking did that shit!” I continued to scream, spit flying from my mouth.

Jo stood there unsure on what to do. I was always the calm one, the one who fixed the problems, not caused them.

“Fuck all this shit. You don’t think I can get this on my own? I got fucking money… I get money, E.” Jaiden dug into his pockets and tossed money onto the floor.

“Wait a damn minute. Where the hell are you getting money from?” Jo stepped forward, standing in front of Jaiden who was avoiding eye contact with her. Jo reached her hand up and held his chin. “Where is this money coming from, Jaiden?”

My heart felt like it was about to explode out my chest as I held onto Capone’s forearm. He kept his arm around my waist while we all waited for Jaiden to respond.

I punched my fist into the palm of my other hand. “I fucking knew it. That fucking Timmy… I told you to leave him alone.”

Jaiden was so high that he didn’t care that me and his aunt were staring at him with daggers in our eyes. “The minute you choose to mess in those streets, it doesn’t care whose soul it collects,” Jo waved a warning finger in his face. “Go the hell to your room!” she raised her voice.

Everyone knew Jo loved to keep everything peaceful and calm. She rarely raised her voice or caused a fuss because she was much calmer now. Jaiden must have sensed that she wasn’t the one to play with and bypassed us to go down the hall.

“If I stay in this house I’m going to choke the hell out of him, Jo.”

“Then you going to come with me to my house for the night.” Capone looked down at me, then looked at Jo. “I’ll bring her by in the morning. They both need space from each other right now. Have this conversation with a clear head.”

As much as I wanted to protest, I knew if I stayed under the same roof as Jaiden I would choke him in his sleep. Not only did nothing get accomplished, but he had the nerve to come out his mouth to me. Jaiden had never been like that and I damn sure didn’t raise him to be disrespectful. The whole time I was staring at him all I could see was Timmy’s influence.

While I packed a small bag to take to Capone’s house, he and Jo went outside to talk. Jo was going to sleep downstairs to keep an eye on Jaiden, and we would sit down and have a levelheaded conversation without physical force.

Capone carried my bag as we walked to his car that was double parked. I jerked away, turning back to the house. “I forgot my damn wig.”

I had been so focused on not killing my baby brother that I forgot I never had a wig on. “You don’t need it, Gorgeous,” Capone assured me.

It wasn’t just the words that he used; it was how he stared down at me as he said it. With so much passion. I had never been comfortable with showing my bald head to anyone besides my family. It was an insecurity of mine that I didn’t think I would ever feel secure enough in. I blamed myself for my alopecia. Had I not been so hard on myself and stressed myself out I would have had my curly hair that I missed so much.

Capone didn’t allow me a second to even second guess my decision. He took my hand and walked me over toward the car, holding the door open for me. He closed the door and tossed my bag into the trunk before getting into the car.

I stared at him as he quickly sped off the block. My body was betraying me because I wasn’t supposed to feel this way for this man. My heart swooned as his jaw flexed while he commanded the streets like he owned them.

In a way, he did.

Fear entered my chest as I thought about him commanding my heart. I don’t think that was something I was ready for, or maybe my body was telling me something different.