18. Chapter 18
Chapter 18
Callie
“ W ould you still think I was pretty even if I was like three hundred pounds?” I asked as I slumped against the cool glass of the passenger side window.
Kane’s hand slipped under my dress as he squeezed my knee. “You’re not like three hundred pounds. ”
“No…. but I feel like it.”
For the first few months of my pregnancy, my mom kept saying just wait. One day it’ll feel like you grew over night like it was some sort of magic spell, or maybe even a curse. And, I thought that was some sort of cautionary tale to prevent me from snacking too much.
Like, oh, don’t eat spinach artichoke dip every day. It’ll make you fat. But no , she meant it. When I woke up tangled in Kane’s arms, it felt like someone had taped a lead weight to my belly, which made it impossible to get up by the way.
So impossible that I accidentally woke Kane when trying to go to the bathroom this morning. Luckily, he was nice enough to help me up. But that did very little to soothe the embarrassment caused by the situation. And now, as I sat in the passenger seat of my Volvo, my back stuck to the blonde leather with an ungodly amount of sweat… I couldn’t help but wonder how Kane felt about me.
Sure, last week, his thoughts mentioned loving me and wanting me to love him. But, part of me believed that was a fleeting dream of his. Like that had all been erased the second my suppressors had made me useless. Not that I would blame him for feeling like that–It was just… I wished he’d tell me how he felt. Especially because while I could read his mind if I really tried, my body didn’t react well to me using any of my abilities right now, and I didn’t want to chance it if I didn’t have to.
Kane’s grip on my knee tightened just enough to pull me out of my thoughts. His thumb moved in slow, reassuring circles against my skin, and I worked up the courage to look at him. His dark eyes stayed fixed on the road, but his jaw twitched like he was debating whether it was best to answer me and feed into my delusions or if my question was best left unanswered.
Realistically, it was probably the latter. Answering questions like that was a slippery slope. First, he’d tell me I’d be beautiful regardless, and then the next thing you know, I’d be asking him ridiculous things like would you love me if I was a worm?
… Hey, maybe that was something I should ask him. That way, I’d have something to go on about how he felt toward me.
“You could be three hundred pounds or even five hundred. Neither would change absolutely anything about how I feel about you,” he said, no hint of amusement in his voice.
“.... Which is?”
His eyes slid to meet mine, his features tensing as he swallowed. With how he was looking at me, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he told me he was a cannibal who wanted to eat my skin. His fingers tightened on the steering wheel before he removed them one by one before tapping them against the leather.
“You’re worse than Jace,” he said.
I blinked twice as I tried to run through the very short list of things that Jace and I had in common. Luckily, that didn’t take long, seeing as the only similarity we had was our long hair. How could I be worse than someone I had nothing in common with?
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Kane let out a half laugh as he scratched at the dark stubble on his mostly shaved head. “That you both try to get me to talk about things I’m not ready to talk about.”
I cocked my head to the side as I stared at him.
“That sounds like a you problem,” I said, doing my best to keep my tone light, even if that hurt my feelings a little.
If he loved me, why wouldn’t he be ready to talk about it? Jace was.
“Callie…” Slowly, he pulled into the long brick driveway that led to his mom’s mansion. My heart beat a little faster, making me feel slightly dizzy, but I did my best to ignore it.
I let out a long, low breath as if emptying my lungs would make room for the anxiety in my chest. My mind raced with everything that could happen within the next few hours, and none of them were good. Shin could reduce anything he touched with all five fingers to ash. What if he touched me? What if this was all some crazy villain scheme to lock me in a basement and steal Sawyer? If I forced myself to throw up right now , would Kane take me home?
The way he looked at me said no.
“Take a breath, Sweetheart.” He coached, pressing the button beside the steering wheel.
My SUV came to an instant stop, the dome light turning on as the car beeped at us, almost like an alarm clock. But, instead of waking me up, it told me it was time to walk into a nightmare.
Kane shifted in his seat before cupping my chin, giving me no choice but to look at him. His calloused fingers were rough on my skin, and I tried to focus on that rather than the fact that I was about to actually die.
“Do you think I’d let anyone hurt you?” He asked.
“Yes.”
The word slipped before I could really mull over the question. Kane tipped his head lower as his eyes darkened. It felt like he was mad at me, not that I really had a way to tell.
“Repeat after me. No, Kane would not let anyone hurt me. ” He ordered as he tightened his grip on me just enough to let me know he was serious.
… It was kind of hot, but I didn’t think now was the time.
“No, you won’t let anyone hurt me.”
“Close enough.”
He leaned over me to unfasten my seatbelt before getting out of the car. I’d made no progress in getting out on my own in the exactly thirty seconds it took him to open my door, so he extended a hand to help me up.
I hesitated for a moment, staring at his outstretched hand like it was a snake poised to strike. But Kane’s expression was firm, like if I didn’t take his hand, he’d yank me out of the car and carry me. So, with a sigh, I placed my hand on his.
He was surprisingly gentle as he pulled me to my feet. I wobbled for just a second before he slipped an arm around my waist. Even with his help, my gait was stumbling and unsteady. But–I blamed Sawyer. He was the one that threw off my entire center of balance.
“I’ve gotcha, baby girl.” His murmur was low and raspy, causing my stomach to flip. “Lean on me as much as you need.”
I melted into him, allowing his presence to swallow some of my nerves as we moved toward the looming entrance of Gianna’s mansion. It felt like it took us an eternity to get to the front door, and by the time we reached the impossibly tall oak doors, my breath came in shallow, visible puffs. Just like the ones normally reserved for winter.
“I thought the medicine was supposed to be helping,” Kane commented as he knocked on the door.
His words mirrored my thoughts, and I really didn’t need to hear that right now. The door creaked open, stopping my thoughts before they could spiral further.
Gianna stood in the doorway, but she lacked all the warmth she had the last time we met. This time, her expression was tight, unimpressed, maybe a little irritated at the fact I’d shown up again. Which, again, was fair.
“Kane… You’re late.” Her lips barely moved, flicking toward me before refocusing on her son. “I thought we were going to discuss family matters .”
“We are… I brought her for Shin.”
“Or—I could go sit in the car if you don't want me in—”
“Calista! You came,” Vexxas called as he stepped into my line of sight.
He was dressed in a navy polo that hung from his lithe frame. Between that and the cargo shorts… he didn't seem as intimidating as he did last week. Maybe it was just because we were here in the daylight.
He quickly approached us, shoving Gianna out of the way before wrapping me in a tight embrace. I froze, expecting to be reduced to ash any minute. So much for Kane not letting anyone hurt me.
But, as I held my breath, trembling in his arms… I didn't disintegrate. I didn't even feel uncomfortable. Instead, I felt… comforted, weirdly. I took a deep breath, wrapping my arms around him as some herbal smell I couldn't place filled my nose.
He pulled away, and that’s when I noticed the strange, leather gloves that covered his thumb, pinky, and palm.
“Oh, you're so beautiful,” he said, cupping my chin as he smiled down at me.
I blinked twice. Maybe he had killed me. That was the only way that this would make sense. But, as the strangely comforting warmth of his hands sunk into my skin… I realized this was real.
A lump formed in my throat as I imagined this meeting in a different timeline—one where Sulien brought me here on his arm, and we told his dad about Sawyer exactly like we planned to do directly after the showcase.
“You…. you look like him .” I fought through the words as my eyes began to burn.
Shin’s smile faltered for a moment, replaced by something softer, more somber. He reached up, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb before looping his arm in mine.
“You come with me. Kane has his family; I want time with mine.”
I expected Kane to protest, or to at least follow me. But he let go, allowing Shin to tug me through the house. The low heels on my shoes clicked against the marble flooring as Shin dragged me into a room that felt like it was taken directly out of a history book.
Wine-colored chairs surrounded a circular coffee table, and a cold fireplace sat in the background. Shin guided me to sit before beaming down at me.
“You look hot… Are you hot?” Shin asked, each word coming faster than the last.
“I… uh, yeah, a little.”
His lower lip jutted out as a look of concern crossed his face. “You sit–I’m going to go get a few memories and some things to cool you down.”
Before I could protest, Shin was gone, leaving with far too much energy for someone who’d allegedly been deathly ill just months ago… But again, the constant go go go reminded me of Sulien. I let out a sigh as I leaned into the armchair, closing my eyes as I rubbed the curve of my stomach.
Sawyer wasn’t moving as much today, and I wondered if the heat was getting to him too. I hoped it wasn’t, but then again, considering I was already on suppressors, there wasn’t much I could do. My head suddenly felt heavy, leaving me to tip it back into the velvet of the chair. Just as my body started to tingle, something cool and damp hit my forehead.
My eyes snapped open to see Shin staring down at me, mumbling something in a language I didn’t understand as he pressed a rag to my skin. His brows were furrowed in a look of complete and utter concentration, one that shattered the second he noticed me looking at him.
“You’re too hot,” he said, taking a step back. “Isn’t Kane helping you? Or Jace, for that matter?”
The concern in his voice caught me off guard. And, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say Vexxas was actually worried about me.
“I… they don’t need to help me. I’m okay.” I forced a smile as I sat a little straighter.
The action caused a dizzy feeling to wash over me, but I did my best to pretend to be okay.
“You remind me of my wife–too strong for your own good.” He accused, his eyes narrowing in frustration before he grabbed a coffee cup off the table and pressed it into my hands. “Drink. It’ll help.”
My lips parted to argue as my gaze flicked toward the steaming yellow liquid in the cup. There were small bits of what looked like lemon rind in the bottom. I didn’t trust it.
“It’s tea.” He explained as he took a seat across from me. “I used to make it for my wife when she was pregnant with Sulien… She swore it made her feel better.”
… Why was he being so nice to me? Was this real?
I hesitated, allowing the citrus-scented steam to waft up. Shin motioned for me to take a drink, and I humored him by taking the world’s smallest sip. The tea was citrusy and sweet, and while I liked it… I couldn't figure out why Vexxas wasn’t killing me on the spot.
“You’re a lot… nicer than I thought you’d be.”
Shin jerked back into his chair, staring at me as if I’d grown a second head.
“Nice? Callie, this is the bare minimum that a father can do for his daughter-in-law.”
My heart lurched at the knowledge that I would have married Sulien if fate had been a little kinder.
“My dad never did anything like this, and he’s, well, my dad , ” I said, trying to diffuse the situation.
Shin’s expression softened as his initial shock melted into something sadder, almost pained. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees; his leather gloves creaked as he clasped his hands together.
“I knew your father for years before you and your siblings came along,” he said calmly.
“I know… He’s your nemesis.”
Shin’s eyes widened as he barked out a laugh. “That’s what the media likes to call us… Did you know I used to work with Flynn?”
My grip on the cup tightened as I tried to hide my surprise by taking another sip.
“What do you mean?” I asked as I swallowed my tea.
Shin held up a finger before waltzing over to an ornate bookshelf nestled in the corner. He ran his finger along the leather-bound books as he looked for something; I just had no idea what.
“Drink more tea–it’s good for the baby,” he commanded as he continued his search.
I listened, not wanting to upset the most dangerous man in the world. But, the longer I sat with Shin…, the less he felt like the man my father had made him out to be. Dangerous men killed people, and I guess that was still true for Shin. But, what a villain of his caliber didn’t do was fawn over essentially a stranger like a doting father would.
His fingers paused for a moment before removing a thick black book. He held it with both hands as he walked back before forcing himself into the chair with me. Our legs pressed together as he opened what I quickly learned was an old photo album.
I tried to lean in to see a little better, but the action caused me to tip forward. Shin threw an arm over me, shooting me a glare before adjusting himself so I could look at the photos more easily.
“When Kane said you were coming–I’d wanted to talk about Sulien… but this seems like information you need to have too.”
My gaze dropped to the pages splayed across our laps, and my breath caught in my throat as I took in the first black-and-white photograph. I reached out, my fingers dancing across the glossy material as I took in a photo of Shin and my Father. Both of them seemed impossibly young, probably around Sulien’s age, and they were dressed in matching super-suits, the front of which was decorated with what looked like a version of the Aegis symbol.
“I came to America on one of the first-ever heroing visas,” Shin explained. “When I got off the plane, I was stationed in Pittsburgh and assigned to be your father’s partner.”
My heart fell to my stomach as Shin flipped the page to reveal yet another photo of him and my father. This one appeared to be taken from a newspaper.
“I… How?” This whole situation was so hard to grasp that it caused my head to hurt.
Shin shrugged, pushing the cup in my hands up with one finger, signaling that, yet again, he wanted me to drink.
“We were a good team too. He could fight the villains while I rescued anyone who was trapped.” Shin said as if that made any of this easier to swallow.
“If this is true, how did you two end up like this ?”
“Your father has a very strong sense of justice… Because of that, he believes the world exists in black and white.” Shin gestured with his hand as he spoke. “I’ve always believed that gray exists and that no matter how hard you try, that black-and-white divide never will.”
I nodded before motioning for him to continue.
“Because of that, I refused to tell the public that every action I took was squeaky clean.” His voice dropped to an almost conspiratorial whisper. “I don’t lie. And sometimes, saving lives involved dirty, ugly choices, ones I would apologize for but wouldn’t sweep under the rug.” He tapped the photo with his pointer finger. “In that picture, I saved twenty people from a burning building.”
“Wow, that’s–”
“Ahht, I’m not done speaking.”
I placed my hands up in a placating gesture, allowing Shin to continue.
“There were five people who died, and I knew if I wasted even a moment trying to save them–which would have been impossible. That there would have been more casualties… But, that line of thinking was villainous .” Shin sounded calm, but the way his face twisted told me he was still pissed about the situation. “From that moment on, your father didn’t think I could be a hero… so he made sure the world saw me as the villain.”
My eyes nearly bugged out of my head as I stared at Shin, my ears ringing from the metaphorical bomb he’d just detonated. My dad had always talked about Vexxas like he was some sort of rabid animal, something meant to be feared and avoided. But now, hearing Shin’s side of the story and seeing the proof made my head spin.
“Why would he do that?” I whispered.
“Calista, the heroing world has a lot of shady areas. Ones that make the life of a villain seem like the moral path. And while I can’t explain everything, I can say: I’m glad you’re away from the rest of your family–even if it hurts.”
“I–why?”
Even if my family wasn’t perfect, they were still just that. And, if Shin was a family man, wouldn’t he want me to be close to my kin?
“Because I know for a fact that your father will do anything to get what he wants.”