Chase: A Devil & his Birdie: Havenwood University Book Two

Chapter 37

OUR KISS TURNED hot and heavy in a snap. I wasn’t full of nerves anymore. I wasn’t afraid to show him who I was and what I’ve done. I felt bold and brave even with the loud crowd cheering above us in the stands.

He looked at me with pure devotion in his eyes. Like he loved me enough to take the tired and worn down suitcases from my hands and carry it all on his back. Like he had no problem making room for the voices in my head. He made me feel light as a feather. Like I could float and still be safe under his care.

It gave me the strength to pull away from him so I could strip myself bare.

I pull down my pants and step outta my jeans and sneakers. It”s not smooth or sexy or some choreographed striptease but I still feel like I’m the center of his world when his eyes are on me. No crown or title could ever compete with being his Miss Universe.

He’s staring at my bare legs and the hem of his jersey hits my upper thigh right where my latest cut is. I’m trying to stand tall but it’s hard with my anxiety churning. I gotta fight back the urge to jack knife forward.

I make a fist and dig into my palm but it’s not enough. I buckle and bend my knees while anxiously pulling down the hem of the jersey to cover it up.

His hand encloses around my wrist right above my fist that’s full of fabric and steps into me. It makes me feel protected. Even if it’s from myself.

“It’s okay, I promise, Birdie, it’s okay.” His eyes are full of understanding, like he knows firsthand how hard it all is. His gaze is both soft and strong. It calms my nerves and blasts through the locked box where I keep all my ugly truths.

“Let me see you.” He drops to his bare knees and pushes the hem of the jersey away from my cut.

His lips graze over every inch of me, kissing away the rip of pain I felt just days ago. He scatters kisses up and down my thigh and nips at my sensitive skin. He wraps his hands around the back of my legs and massages his fingers into my flesh. He’s holding me up in more ways than one.

“Tell me about this one, it looks fresh.” His warm breath ghosts over my cut and I wish like hell it could heal it right up. It’ll always remind me of when I thought the worst of him and hurt myself over it. The shame feels so heavy. My eyes fill up and spill over before I can stop them. I’m ruining everything.

He’s as fast as lightning and stands up in a flash, and before I can blink, he’s lifting me up. His foot hooks around the leg of a small plastic cart and he pulls it toward us. He plops me down on top of it before swatting away a stack of plastic cones that are in our way.

He grips the edge of the cart on either side of my knees, and leans his handsome face forward until his forehead touches mine. I lean into the pressure of his skull and want him to read my thoughts so I don’t have to say the words out loud.

“Is this because of me?” I can feel my heart crack down on the same fault line his silence split open after my performance.

The truth is, it’s not his fault. Neither is the gash on my hand. The moments may have triggered me, but no one made me cut myself but me. I hurt myself more than anyone else does.

“I did it the night of the Showcase,” I whisper out loud into the love between us and hope like hell it can handle the blow. These feelings between us are big and bold. I believe in us and if I’m gonna be a part of something like him and I, I gotta be honest about it all.

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I’m the one who keeps on doing this to myself. I’ve started back up with therapy, I want ya to know that.” I’ve been spiraling for months and have been circling the drain. Davis and Evie pushing me to get back to therapy was the right call.

I show him my hand and he nuzzles his cheek into my bandaged palm before pulling me into his chest. I cling to him with all I’ve got.

“I’ve been depressed for a long ass time and just started talking to a counselor. I’ve got issues I’ve gotta work out, I can’t fucking run from them anymore. And I mean that literally. I gotta deal with it in better ways than I’ve been,” he says and I nod my head in agreement. I understand him deep in my soul.

“We”re quite the pair, aren’t we?” I place a gentle kiss on his lips.

“I told you, Birdie, you’re my perfect…and now I want to see how beautiful you are.”