Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Enemies don’t jump out from behind the darkness, they often boldly walk at you in the light. —King Campisi
Bella
I fell for it.
Like an idiot, I fell for it.
I went on a very pissed off walk, off property, yelling at security that if they followed me, I’d slit their throats and did the stupid human thing. I left my purse, I left my phone, I left my security, and I left every shred of pride I had and went to the cliff, the one that Ivan used to run to whenever we had family dinners, and he got upset.
“It would be so fucking easy.” Ivan stared down the ravine. “How high do you think it is?”
It scared me when he talked like that; I mean, I hated him, and I threatened him, but I didn’t want to truly end him. “I don’t know, maybe a hundred feet until you fall into the tiny stream and hit rock.”
He snorted. “Yeah, that’s only a few feet of water, splat you would go, but you’d feel like, flying, for a minute you know? You’d feel free.”
“Are you in prison?” I joked. “I mean, you realize you just walked away from a bougie brunch where they serve alcohol to minors and give you gold plates because they’re pretty and blood can’t stain them.”
He barked out a laugh. “Never thought I’d look at gold and be like, oh cool, way easier to clean.”
“It really is.”
“Real gold doesn’t tarnish.”
“Kind of ironic, the bloodstains won’t stay, but every time I look at those plates, I wonder how much people will remember of me when I’m gone, you know? Will I be just like that blood on the gold plate that gets wiped clean, or will I last, will I be the one drop that stays?”
I sat down next to him. “Do you want to tarnish then?”
“I wouldn’t call it tarnishing. I would call it being remembered. Existing.”
I sighed, tempted to lay my head on his shoulder. “I can’t decide if that’s tragic or foolish.”
“Both.” He jumped to his feet and looked down. “If I’m ever missing, just look in the ravine.”
I scrambled to my feet and nearly fell back onto the dusty rocks. “Don’t joke like that.”
He shrugged. “Maybe it’s better to own your own destiny than turn around just in time for the knife to get shoved into your back, ever thought of it that way?”
I smacked him on the arm, then pinched it for good measure, he could be such an asshole! “No, and you shouldn’t either.”
Why was I so angry at him for talking like this? I shouldn’t care, but his truth scared me more than the reality of what we were living in.
He leveled me with an intense stare that I couldn’t pull away from. “You’ve really never thought how much easier it would be to fly?”
I didn’t admit it to him. How suffocating it could be, how suffocating it was, and how every day I just wanted to be free for one second, feel the wind against my face, control the end, not just pretend everything was okay when I knew it could literally change at any second.
“Promise me if you ever get to that point, you’ll wait for me here first,” I said instead of answering.
“Same.” He held out his hand; it was beautiful in the morning light. “Promise me if it ever hurts too much and all you want to do is fly—you wait for me too, all right?”
It was one of the only times in our lives, we shook hands without fighting in the next few minutes. His hand had been comforting, warm, not too soft, and when we finally broke free, he stared down at it like something precious had just happened.
I shook the memory away, I’d always liked it here on the cliffs, it was a great spot to think but also it was away from the noise and all the chaos. It overlooked a ravine off of my dad’s property and felt private, despite the fact that I knew nothing was private in my life, I wouldn’t put it past him to have straight up satellite footage of the wildlife area.
In fact, I’d be more shocked if he didn’t.
I took a deep breath and refused to think about the old Ivan; it was like every single time I saw a shred of decency in him or even part of the person I used to know, he would do something horrible or stupid or cruel.
Until an hour ago, I was stupidly holding out hope.
Until an hour ago I had the errant thought… what if? What if we could be more? What if I could make this work? What if by asking me to trust him he meant for me to wait for him too? For all of this to die down?
And then hope blossomed more with the way he interacted with my family, with what my mom said, only to come crashing down in a fiery storm when I walked in on him and heard those words.
I mean, I was used to it, used to his hate, but it was embarrassing and hurtful, it wasn’t just the way he said it; it was that it was in front of Ash and King.
I felt weak. Stupid. Vulnerable. Unnecessary.
And for a weak moment I thought—what if I just flew?
What if I just flew away?
Would it really matter in the grand scheme of things? He only needed me for my name, for an alliance, the other Families were too focused on keeping the peace, and I was just… a pawn.
Not something I planned on becoming when I was a little girl. I wanted to be powerful; I wanted to be like my sister, and now I just felt invisible, pulled into a war I never wanted to be a part of, and handed over to someone who would rather run me over, apparently with my own car, than hold me close.
I hugged my knees to my chest and stared out over the cliffs.
Dad would cry.
Mom would be devastated.
But this was the mafia.
What was one more death? I wasn’t a boss. I wasn’t anything.
The more I thought about it, the darker I felt, like my soul was finally coming to the same conclusion my head was, and both finally added up to the truth.
The world didn’t need me in it.
The wind picked up around me, I stood, my heels crunching against the rocks and dirt, and I looked over.
“Long fall from here,” a rough voice said.
I froze. I didn’t recognize that voice.
It was gravelly, like the person speaking had something wrong with them. I didn’t turn around, turning around meant I’d probably get pushed, well either way, I was probably getting pushed if this person meant any sort of harm.
“Yeah.” I stepped to the right, closer to the tree that was planted on the edge of the cliff. “It is, but it’s pretty.”
“Lots of pretty things are dangerous,” the voice said.
Finally, I looked over my shoulder.
They were wearing all black and had sunglasses on, a thick black scarf wrapped around their neck and a black brimmed hat that cast a shadow over their features.
They were around average height, a bit taller than me, and wearing black gloves. Never a good sign. Though the person had no weapon, then again, another bad sign, it meant they didn’t want any evidence.
Thus, the need for an accident.
“Yeah.” I stepped closer to the tree. “That’s true. Are you out for a walk?”
“I’m out for a walk the way you’re out for a walk.” The voice laughed. “Do you want me to do it for you? It might be easier if it’s your choice.”
“My choice?”
“To jump.” The person shrugged. “And let me preface this with, it’s just business, it’s only fair. Getting the Abandonatos out of the way and blaming Ivan just seems like the simplest way to start a little fight, don’t you think? After all, you hate each other, of course he drove you to your death all in a selfish claim to the De Lange throne he claims he never wanted, now look at him, spending money left and right, acting like an idiot, and thinking he has a chance to stay when he’s not even pulling the strings.”
They were proud, this person, and they liked to hear themselves talk despite how painful it sounded.
I snorted. “You think I care about him? Or power? Besides, it’s kind of amusing that someone else is pulling the strings… you? I assume?”
The person paused and tilted their head. “You would make a good boss.”
“I’m my own boss.” I forced a small smile. “And thank you.”
“It’s a shame.”
“What is?”
“Your tragic ending.”
“Yeah well…” I shrugged. “We can’t all win, not even you.”
The laugh that erupted from the face attached was sinister. “I always win, trust me, I deserve as much, besides my hand was forced. You know, the De Langes should have never taken the treaty. Junior lost his life because he got too close, what do you think will happen to Ivan? But nobody ever listens. He thinks he controls the Family. He wears the ring for now, but very soon I’ll be cutting it from his finger, peeling it off and shoving the rest of that finger down his throat, let’s pray it’s a slow choking death.”
I swallowed and looked to my left, nothing but a cliff.
The person raised their hand and crooked a finger.
A large burly man came down the path and stood behind them. “Push her, leave the note for her father, no messes.”
“Yes, Boss.”
Boss, as in another boss, not Ivan.
I didn’t recognize the man; he had a scar running down his left cheek and he was at least six foot two, his dark hair was shaved close to his head, and he had a DL tattoo on his right cheek.
He was marked.
Marked like his own Family but apart from them.
I made a mental note and tried not to panic when the other figure started walking off. “Have a nice fall, you’ll have at least four seconds to think about all your regrets, rest in peace, Bella Abandonato.”
I swallowed and tried to think of a way to get out of my heels, so it didn’t make it easier for him to attack me.
I backed up against the tree while he took a few steps forward, his blue eyes were dead, his mouth pressed down into a firm line. He wasn’t wearing gloves; his hands were massive. There wasn’t any time, he was already stalking toward me, maybe five steps away.
I tried to run to the left, but my foot caught on the root of the tree, I kicked off my heels and scrambled to my feet to run in the other direction when he was already on top of me, pulling me up from the ground.
I wrapped my ankles around his body and hung on for dear life. He’d have to fall with me.
He shoved a hand between us, but I pressed my head against his chest to keep him from creating space to pry me away.
“Get off!” He cursed.
My ankles were already slipping against each other, my feet went completely numb as I held on.
My first thought was that Ivan would be so pissed if I didn’t fight and that dad would say he taught me better. Ironic that I had spent minutes wondering if they’d miss me, and now I wanted to live more than anything, even if it was to make Ivan’s life more miserable.
I rearranged my arms around his neck, but it was enough time for him to gain space and slam down on my arms, sending me to the ground. I shoved my body back against the tree and stared up at him. Maybe I could crawl through his legs. I started kicking at him, when he suddenly went still over me.
Blood gurgled out of his mouth.
With a surprised grunt and a frown, he fell forward onto the dirt, right by my feet.
And Ivan stood behind him, knife in hand, blood splatter on his face. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.
Ivan got down in the dirt and pulled me against him. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re in shock, it’s okay, just take some deep breaths, can you do that? In for four seconds, all right?”
I nodded against his chest, but couldn’t suck any air in. Panicking, I started to hyperventilate.
Ivan pinched me on the arm, then pressed his hand against my chest. “Breathe, now.”
Too pissed that he pinched me, I was distracted enough to breathe once, then twice while he rocked me in his lap.
I heard my dad’s voice, then others behind him, but I didn’t want to leave Ivan’s arms. He started to stand, but I gripped his arms.
He immediately stayed on the ground with me and spoke without looking over his shoulder. “It wasn’t one of mine.”
“How do you know?” Dad asked, before trying to shove Ivan out of the way. “Are you hurt? Bella? Talk to me. Are you okay?”
I shook my head and clung to Ivan.
“Bella…” Dad tried again. “Look at me, sweetheart.”
My exhale was heavy, shaky. “I’m—”
“She’s in fucking shock, Nixon, give her some breathing space, she nearly got thrown off a mother fucking cliff, all right? Would you be breathing normal? I know she’s your daughter, but she’s my wife, so step back and let me take care of her while you figure out who the hell would dare do this, all right? We all have our jobs, let me do mine.”
Nobody talked to my dad like that.
But Dad sighed. “I know, I know.”
“Then go be useful away from here.” Ivan snapped. “Seriously, she’s still shaking.”
“She’s my—”
“Again, I know who she is, but you gave her to me, she chose me, so let me choose her back right now and hold her, stop wasting words because I’m not leaving this spot until she feels safe, okay? If I need to grab a tent and send for water, I’ll let you know.”
I smiled against Ivan’s chest and clung to him tighter.
Dad got up and walked off as more men ran up and started talking with him.
“I feel that smile, you know,” Ivan whispered into my hair. “Think he’ll punch me later?”
“One can only hope.” I teased.
His laugh was soft. “I told you to tell me if you were tempted to fly, I almost didn’t catch you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Next time, I won’t be late.”
I pulled away from him slightly, my eyes searched his, they were so green, so focused on me I almost got lost. “You could have just let him push me—”
His soft kiss silenced me.
He was kissing me.
Touching me in front of my dad.
Cursing was heard behind him, I half expected him to get pulled away from me, instead he kept peppering painfully soft kisses across my lips only to move to my wet cheeks.
I didn’t even realize I was crying when we touched foreheads and he whispered, “I asked you to trust me. I can’t do this without you.-I don’t want to. Don’t make me fly too, Bella.”
What was happening? I kept getting two sides of him; I liked both, but I needed this one the most. I needed it like air in my lungs.
“Swear.” I held out my pinky finger.
“Swear.” He gripped it. “Stay in front of me.”
I frowned. “To block attacks?”
He smiled. “So, I don’t get led astray. Every man needs a good partner to lead them, I do better when that person is you. I have around three seconds before I have to start being an asshole again, but I did pinky promise, so trust me? Please?”
I nodded.
He helped me up and turned around.
And as expected.
My dad punched him in the face.
And when Ivan crumped to the ground, his bloody smile grinned up at me while he mouthed. “Worth it.”