31. Lilian
Chapter 31
Lilian
I stare at the new phone Jason brought me, the screen glaring accusingly back at me. Days of blissful silence, holed up in my room, ignoring the world... all about to end with a simple swipe of my finger.
I take a few deep breaths and turn it on. Immediately, the phone vibrates angrily, messages flooding in like a tidal wave of unwanted reality.
Gemma: Hey Lil, everything ok? We stopped by, but Jason said you’re sick. Let me know if you need anything!
Mary: Girl, where you at? We miss you! * kissing-emoji*
How do I even begin to respond? I scroll through the messages. I’ve been a shitty friend. Wallowing in my own misery while they worry.
Gemma: Sebastian told me.
Gemma: How are you?
Gemma: Can we talk ?
Gemma: I’m sorry.
She didn’t know either.
Another message catches my eye.
Sebastian: Good night, princess.
Sebastian: I hope you’re eating well. I went by the library in hopes of seeing you there. Are you okay?
Sebastian: I’m sorry.
Sebastian: Please. Can I come by?
Sebastian: I miss you.
A soft knock at the door interrupts my reading, and I lock my phone.
“Lil?” Jason’s muffled voice filters through. “You okay in there?”
I sigh, dragging myself out of bed and opening the door. Jason stands there, his brow furrowed with concern.
“I’m fine.”
He raises an eyebrow. “I made food again.”
“Thanks, I’ll eat later.”
“Your uncle asked about you. You should call him back.”
I bite my lip, glancing back at the discarded phone on my bed. “I will.”
“Come on, let’s eat.”
We eat in silence, the scrape of forks against plates echoing in the small kitchen. The food tastes like ash in my mouth, but I force myself to swallow each bite. Jason keeps glancing at me, but he doesn’t push, like the last days .
After he leaves, I retreat to my room and strip off my joggers, crop top, and underwear, leaving a trail to the bathroom. The shower sputters to life, and I step under the scalding spray, hoping the heat will thaw the ice in my veins.
I can’t hide forever.
Letting the water cascade over me, I close my eyes. It’s a small comfort, but I’ll take what I can get.
I step out, feeling a bit more human again. The hot water seems to have washed away some of the numbness that’s been clinging to me like a second skin.
I wrap myself in a towel, grab my phone, and answer the messages of my uncle and brothers, saying I’m fine. I’m about to hide in my bed, when a new notification pops up.
Gemma: Hey, Mary and I are having a movie night tonight if you want to join. No pressure, but we’d love to see you, and maybe we could talk?
A smile tugs at my lips, the first real one in days.
I throw on some clothes and head to Mary and Gemma’s place, my stomach twisting with nerves.
Is this okay?
Uncle Marc told me to end the friendship. But… it’s my life, right? I don’t want to lose my best friends. It’s my decision.
I ring the doorbell, shifting from foot to foot as I wait. It’s been a while since I’ve seen them. Will things be awkward?
The door swings open, and Gemma freezes, her eyes wide. “Lil?”
I offer a tentative smile. “Hey. Uhm… Movie night, right? ”
Her mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. “I… yeah, of course. Come in.” She steps aside, her movements stiff and uncertain.
I walk past her, my hands growing clammy, although the apartment is warm and inviting.
She closes the door behind me. “Lil, I don’t know where to start.”
I turn to face her. “And I don’t know what to say. I’ve been a shitty friend.”
She shakes her head, her eyes glistening. “No, you’re not. I’m so sorry. I had no idea about our families, about any of it.”
“I know. Me neither.” We’re both caught in the middle of this mess.
“You’re one of my best friends,” she says. “I don’t care about some stupid family vendetta. And I know it’s difficult between you and Sebastian, but can we—I don’t know, still be friends?”
My vision blurs as tears threaten to spill, and I nod.
Her face crumples, and she pulls me into a tight hug. I cling to her, burying my face in her shoulder as the tears fall.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble into her shirt. “I didn’t know how to face everything.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I get it. I do.” She rubs my back, her own voice thick with emotion. “I’m here. Mary’s here. We’ve got you.”
I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “Thanks. I missed you guys. ”
“We missed you, too.” She tears up as well. “Now, let’s go watch some cheesy rom-coms and stuff our faces with junk food and margaritas, yeah?”
I laugh, the sound foreign to my own ears. “That sounds perfect.”
Gemma links her arm through mine, leading me into the living room where Mary is waiting, a huge grin on her face.
“Lil! I missed you so much!” She tackles me in a hug, almost knocking me off my feet.
I hug her back as tightly. “I missed you too. Both of you.”
We settle onto the couch, a tangle of limbs and blankets. Mary’s head rests on my shoulder, her hair tickling my cheek. Gemma sits cross-legged on the floor, her back against our legs. The opening credits of some rom-com roll, and we clink our margaritas together.
This. This is what I needed.
Screw the family drama. Screw the complications with Sebastian.
“God, I wish my love life was that simple,” Mary gestures at the screen where the leads are locked in a passionate embrace. “Meet cute, fall in love, happily ever after. Boom, done.”
Gemma snorts. “Please, like you’d want it to be that boring.”
“Shut up, you know what I mean.”
Gemma grins, popping a chip into her mouth. “Speaking of, how’s it going with Connor?”
Mary groans, burying her face in her hands. “Don’t even start. I swear, that boy is as dense as a brick wall. ”
“You still didn’t talk to him?” I ask. “What’s the worst that could happen?” The chances that their families are at odds are very slim now.
“Uh, he could reject me, and then I’d have to change my name and move to a new country?”
“Dramatic much?” Gemma laughs.
“Okay, but seriously.” Mary sits up straighter. “Gem, how do you do it? How are you so confident with guys?”
“I don’t know. I go for what I want, I guess. Life’s too short to play games or wait around for someone else to make the first move. But before you go confessing your undying love, we need to make sure you pass your exams. Have you started studying for Econ yet?”
Mary’s groan is loud enough to drown out the movie. “Gem, nooooo. It’s girls’ night. Plus, we just had exams.”
“Nuh-uh, missy. You promised you’d start this weekend.”
“Oh, and you missed the pop quiz on Tuesday,” Mary says. “It was brutal.”
I sink further into the couch cushions. “Don’t remind me, please. I still have to catch up on everything.”
Gemma waves her hand dismissively. “Nah, you’ll be fine. I’ll give you my notes.”
“Thanks, Gem.” I take another sip of my drink.
“Yeah, because Gemma’s notes are like a fucking novel. I swear, she writes down every single word Jenkins says,” Mary says .
Gemma throws a pillow at her. “Hey, it’s called being thorough! Not all of us can rely on our natural genius like you, Miss 4.0 GPA.”
As they bicker back and forth, I lean back against the couch cushions. It was the right decision.
“Oh my god, I almost forgot! I wanted to show you guys something.” Gemma reaches for her sketchbook on the coffee table, flipping it open. “I’ve been working on this design for my class, and I could really use your feedback.”
Mary and I lean in, our eyes widening as Gemma reveals a stunning ballgown sketch. The lines are fluid and elegant, the fabric flowing around the drawn figure.
“That’s… wow.” I explore the pencil strokes with my fingertips.
Mary nods enthusiastically. “Yep. It’s gorgeous.”
“You think so? I mean, I’m pretty happy with it, but I wasn’t sure about the neckline,” Gemma says. “I also have some other ones. Here.”
Gemma shows us page after page of gorgeous ballgowns, each more stunning than the last. They have intricate corsets and flowing skirts, delicate lace, and shimmering silk—it’s like something out of a fairy tale.
As she flips to the last page, Gemma snaps the sketchbook shut with a grin. “Okay, that’s enough for now. I don’t want to bore you guys with all my design talk.”
Mary lunges forward, tackling Gemma in a hug. “Shut up. Show us the rest! ”
I snatch the sketchbook from Gemma’s hand and flip to the last page. My jaw drops. “Gem, what is this?”
“What? Oh, that?” She chuckles nervously. “Just a little something I’ve been playing around with.”
I hold up the sketch, a red lace dessous design that’s equal parts cute and sexy.
Mary whistles low. “Damn, girl. You’ve been holding out on us.”
“What can I say? I’m full of surprises.”
We dissolve into another fit of laughter, the sketchbook passed back and forth.
For a moment, everything else fades away. The hurt, the confusion, the uncertainty. It’s just us, just this moment.
And god, I’ve missed this.
The credits roll on our last movie, and I stumble to my feet, the room spinning slightly. Mary and Gemma are in no better shape, giggling as they link arms with me.
“You could sleep over.” Gemma rests her head on my shoulder.
“Mmm, I should go back.”
Mary grabs her keys. “Fine, but we’re walking you home. Oh, by the way, any chance you saw my necklace?”
“What necklace?” I ask.
“It has a little butterfly,” Mary says.
“No. Why?”
“Mary lost it,” Gemma says .
“I didn’t. Well, I kind of did, but it has to be somewhere.” Mary opens the door, and we make our way out of the apartment, leaning on each other for support.
The cool night air hits my face, and I breathe deeply, trying to clear my head.
It takes us longer than expected to reach my dorm, with a quick stop at a statue and Mary chasing after a rabbit—something I’ve never seen around here. When we finally stumble through the door, I freeze in my tracks.
Jason sits on the couch, his eyes narrowing as he takes us in. “What the hell?”
“Jay?”
“You’re drunk.” He stands, crossing his arms over his chest. “And with them.” He nods towards Gemma and Mary.
I straighten up, meeting his gaze head-on. “Yeah? They’re my friends.”
“Friends? Lil, you can’t be serious. After everything—”
“After what? After I found out that our families have some stupid feud? That doesn’t change anything.”
Jason scoffs. “It changes everything. You can’t trust them.”
“You don’t get to decide who I trust or who I’m friends with.”
Gemma and Mary step up beside me, their arms linked through mine.
“She’s right,” Gemma says. “We’re not going anywhere.”
Mary nods. “ Damn straight.”
Jason looks between the three of us. “I don’t even recognize you right now. Getting drunk, acting like this…”
I laugh, the sound harsh and bitter. “Acting like what? Like I have a mind of my own? Like I’m not just some puppet?”
Jason flinches, but I don’t back down. I’m done letting other people dictate my life.
“You can’t stop me from being friends with them. So you can either accept it or… or I don’t know what.”
“You should accept that you are going to be my—”
“Stop.” I snap. “Don’t you dare.” Don’t say that word. I don’t know why he still believes that it’s going to happen.
We stare at each other.
“Besides,” Gemma says, “we were with her the whole time. So, you don’t have to worry.”
“Fine. Do whatever you want.” He grabs his jacket and storms out, slamming the door behind him.
I let out a shaky breath. Gemma and Mary wrap their arms around me, holding me tight.
“You okay?” Gemma asks.
“Yeah. I… thank you. For being here.”
“Always,” Mary murmurs.
Is it really that bad that I want to decide things myself?
“Did I ever tell you guys about the time I accidentally set the microwave on fire in the dorm kitchen?” Mary asks.
“Oooh, I remember. That’s when you got kicked out and moved into mine,” Gemma says.
I chuckle. “What happened? ”
“Let’s say popcorn and I have a complicated relationship,” Mary says.
Complicated relationship.
Yeah, I know all about that.