Cocky Choices: Zoe Cocker (Cocker Brothers #30)

19. Zoe

NINETEEN

Zoe

I close the door behind us, the click echoing in the quiet of my apartment. I glance back at Tom, who’s standing with an amused expression on his face.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I did that,” he mutters, looking down at the dark stain spread across his clothing like an inkblot. My heart twists a little at his adorableness.

“It’s just coffee,” I smile, setting Ralphie’s carrier down and unzipping it so he can stroll out to wait in the kitchen for his meal. “No big deal.”

“Meow!”

“Dinner’s coming, Ralphie.” I wave Tom deeper in, grinning, “Come on. Such a bummer it was the whole cup.”

“Yeah, and it’s my favorite work shirt,” he replies with his lopsided smile, its charm shining right into my heart.

I can’t help but chuckle, “It was really funny when it happened though. You need to take it off.” The words, “Pants, too,” slip out before I can stop them, and I feel a flush fly into my cheeks.

Tom raises an eyebrow, his expression shifting from surprise to something more intense. “Are you serious?”

I nod slowly, heart racing.

He reaches back to his shoulder blades, takes ahold of the wet polo shirt and yanks it off, six pack exposed and undulating, chest bared to me for the first time ever. I stare and he asks, voice deeper, “Like that?”

I swallow.

It’s ridiculous how tempting the thought of reaching out and touching his bare skin is — him standing right here in front of me, shirtless, in my home. But the reality of my engagement suddenly vaults into my mind, a reminder of the promise I’ve made to someone else whispering a warning.

He starts to go for his pants and I blurt, “Wait!”

Tom freezes with his hands on the zipper, and looks up at me from under his tousled brown hair. “Want me to do it nice and slow?”

I cry out in shock, “Tom!”

“I’m kidding.”

“Oh!”

“Unless you want me not to be.”

My heart thuds in my chest, and we stare at each other until I force a laugh. “Ha ha. You’re funny. Let me just get you a robe. You can change into it… in the bathroom.”

Where I’m not in danger of watching every move you make.

Crossing to my armoire I’m insanely aware of the excited goosebumps alighting my skin. Nervously, I sift through the hangers and pull out my robe, a soft pink silk with matching faux fur. I spin around and hold it up. “Here you go.”

“Now you’re the one who’s kidding.”

I blink to from it to him. “What? This is the only robe I’ve got.”

“Were you in a 50’s porno?”

A grin flies onto my face, cheeks hot. “What are you talking about? This is a classic! I found it in a second-hand store and fell in love. I told Ralphie he’s not the only one who gets to be soft and furry.”

“And now I get the honor,” Tom smirks. “Okay, fine, I’ll just… be right back.” Taking the robe from me he shakes his head with humor in his eyes. My pulse quickens as our fingers brush against one another in the hand-off. I watch him go, and try to shake off the way-too-sexy thoughts spiraling through my mind.

At the door, he gives me a wink, disappears and shuts it.

Alone in my studio, save for Ralphie who’s cleaning his paws in preparation for a feast, I take a deep breath, and run my fingers through my hair. Oh, I forgot I took it out of the bun! It feels unexpectedly sensuous this way, and I steal a glance at the mirror, gratefully finding the waves appealing. Sometimes buns curl my hair in a soft way — I’m lucky tonight is one of those nights.

What’re you thinking about, Zoe?! You don’t want Tom to find you attractive, do you?

How did we end up here?

A coffee spill shouldn’t lead to this kind of tension. I’m engaged! Can’t believe it, but I am committed to someone else, and being alone with Tom feels like stepping into a tornado of temptation.

But he’s my employee.

My friend.

That’s all .

These feelings I’m having are one-sided. He was only joking about taking off his pants slowly. Nothing was behind it, of that I’m sure.

Opening up a can of cat food, I steal a glance toward the bathroom door, imagining him removing his pants, the muscles in his back flexing as he bends. He has a very cute ass. Is he wearing boxers? I’ve only ever seen my brothers in them. Twisting the manual can opener, I shake my head, trying to dispel the image.

This is wrong.

Stop it!

I hear him call out, “Hey, do you have a towel? Something I can use that you don’t care about?”

“Yes, hang on, please!” I call back, removing the tin lid and unloading Ralphie’s food into his waiting bowl. “Here you go, handsome,” I murmur, and leave him to it, hurrying to a cupboard where I keep ratty towels for just-in-case moments, like cleaning up after my cat, or when I’ve got a tall, hot, naked guy in my home.

Zoe!

Stop it.

“Coming!” I call out, and run to my bathroom, fingers trembling slightly as I do.

I have to get a hold of myself.

He cracks open the door enough where I can see his naked chest again. The sight sends a wave of heat coursing through me.

“Thanks. Just want to wash this off before I put on your sexy relic.”

Forcing a grin, I hand him the towel. “Relic?”

Tom holds my gaze, his eyes pure electricity. “Be right out.”

He retreats into the bathroom again, and I retreat to be closer to Ralphie, my furry little reminder of normalcy to help me maintain a semblance of sanity. Leaning against the counter while he eats to his heart’s content, I try hard to gather my thoughts.

And fail.

Tom emerges moments later, tying the silky belt around my pink robe. Because of his height it rides higher on his thighs and forearms than it does on mine. His crooked smile tugs and I can’t help but crack up.

“You like it?” he winks.

“You look amazing!”

He joins me in laughing, and glances down to the skimpy getup. “I think it’s my size.”

“When you were in middle school!”

Tom walks over to me, “I’d like to see this on you,” and I notice as soon as he stops how close we are, and how I wish we were closer, how his presence seems to pull me in. I want to reach out, close the distance, but the reality of us being nothing romantic to each other, and of my engagement weighs heavily on my mind.

“Zoe,” Tom begins, volume low, eyes growing serious. “Can I be honest with you?”

My heart races with surprise because I have no idea what he’s been dishonest about. “Of course.”

“I’m really glad we’re spending this time together. I know you’re my boss.”

“We’re friends, too, Tom.”

“Yes, we’re…friends, but…” He trails off, gaze searching mine, and I can see yearning in his eyes. Yearning? Is that right? Before I can respond, he takes a step closer. “Zoe.” The air between us is charged with possibility. Time stands still, and I feel his breath on my skin.

“What is it, Tom?” My voice is trembling with urgency.

“Zoe,” he says softly. “I really care about you. I hope you know that.”

My heart aches at his words, and shocked, I stare at him. I want to tell him that I care too, that this connection is new to me. That I wish I’d realized it sooner. But the reality of my life pulls me back. “I didn’t know that,” I whisper. “And I care about you, too. But…” I let the sentence trail off, unsaid words ricocheting between us. “We can’t. I can’t. I’m engaged.”

The commitment I made hangs in the air, heavy and final. His expression shifts, a mixture of disappointment and understanding flooding his handsome features.

He somberly says, “I get it,” stepping back as if the distance could take away the intensity of the moment.

“I’m so sorry,” I murmur, reaching out for his hand but pulling back before I touch him, regret pooling in my chest. I wish things were different. I wish I could let go of my responsibilities and dive into whatever this is with him.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, too,” he says, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I should probably head out.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” I agree, trying to mask the ache in my chest.

“Let me just get my clothes.”

“You want to wait here with me while I wash them?”

His eyes lock with mine, and I see pain in them, an agony mixed with desire. “As much as I don’t want to leave, Zoe, I have to.”

I give a tortured nod and watch him disappear to retrieve his clothes. He likes me, too? When did that happen?! I want to crawl up in my covers and sleep until everything makes sense in life again.

He emerges from the bathroom and offers a smile, “Mind if I wear the robe home?”

“Only if you stop and get gas in it.”

He chuckles half-heartedly, “That’d be hilarious.”

Wishing he’d stay longer, I shake my head and sigh, “I’ll walk you to the door.” It’s not a long walk, but I want to be near him for as long as possible.

As we step outside into my building’s hallway, crisp night air filters in from its open windows but it can’t cool the tension between Tom and me, so thick and painful.

“You’re not coming into the shop tomorrow, Boss?”

My phone rings, muffled by the pocket of Ralphie’s carrier, and instantly I remember that Caleb was going to call me tonight. “No, um…I’ve got a lot to do.”

“Take care of yourself, okay?” he says, stepping away, the distance feeling like a chasm.

I call after him, forcing a smile that can’t reach my eyes, “If you stop at the gas station, send me a picture.”

He forces a smile, waves over his shoulder, “Might just have to do that now.”

“Tom!”

He stops, turns around, looking crazy cute in my robe, holding his things. “Yeah?”

I start to speak but only, “Goodnight,” squeaks out.

“Nothing’s changed. If you need me…I mean, if you need anything. I’m here for you.”

As he walks away, I close the door slowly, leaning against it as the weight of my choices settles over me.

My phone rings again.