Chapter 10
Durin
I wake in my chambers to the sound of tip-toeing footsteps on the stone floor. The smell of freshly baked bread almost brings a smile to my lips, but a dark, dirty feeling still clings to me from last night. No smile could shine its way through that.
The queen dismissed me as soon as I’d satisfied her. The desire and lust that got me through it faded as soon as I left her room. I barely reached my own before vomiting.
As I watch the servants scurry about, I consider the empath who got me through the evening. I need to find out more about him. Something tells me that he was helping me, not serving her . He could be a valuable ally. Plus, if I’m forced to repeat last night’s horrors, I’ll need his help.
I decided to use my status to infiltrate the nobility and take down the queen. Until last night, I hadn’t considered that there may be nobles here under duress like me. I’ll need to study their behaviors and learn more about them so I can figure out where each of them stands. The burden of killing the mixed fae is heavy enough. I won’t accept the weight of more innocent lives.
When the servants finally leave, I drag myself over to the small table covered with sweet breads and fruit. I devour all of it and swallow every drop of tea. It sits like a brick in my stomach, but I need to be ready for anything today.
After scrubbing myself raw in the bath the servants blessedly left for me, I dress in the new tunic and cloak they laid out. They’re both stark white, sure to stand out among the vibrant colors of the forest. The queen’s royal emblem sits right over my chest in gray, reminding me where my loyalty should lie.
Wearing the same attire as Mitah did makes me want to burn it all to ash. But it’s my shield against the other nobles. I remind myself to be grateful that I’m still alive.
I shove on my boots and head out the door, starved for fresh air. Two guards greet me as soon as I step into the hallway, crushing my hopes of navigating the castle alone. One heads off down the hallway, and the other nudges me to follow him.
We walk in silence as they lead me back to the main entrance of the castle. I’m relieved to see that the map I drew in my mind yesterday is accurate. Even more than that, I’m glad I’m being led away from the queen’s chambers.
While we wait for the doors to be opened, one of the guards turns to me and grunts, “Find a replacement for Mitah.”
“Make sure it’s a powerful one,” Folas sings from behind me.
That fae grates my nerves, but I decide not to acknowledge him. I might suffocate if I don’t get out of here soon. Arguing with him isn’t something I’m willing to waste time on.
“Don’t come back until you’ve found one,” he adds before striding off down another corridor.
Don’t come back until you’ve found one... If I give a half-hearted effort, it could take months to find a replacement. That would make me look busy and keep the queen down one powerful soldier at the same time.
The guard hands me a sack of coins and a small parchment with three names on it. “We’ve been watching these three fae who are rumored to have telekinetic magic. Start here.”
Well, there goes that. It’s unlikely that all of them, or even two of them, would have the rare power. This task should only take me a couple days. But at least I can leave. I need to get away from this place. And I need to find Farris.
As soon as I make it outside, I gulp in deep breaths of the lighter air. The memories of last night’s sick affair burrow themselves somewhere deeper inside, allowing me to ignore them for now. I walk swiftly toward the forest until I get past the castle grounds. When the hard path turns to soft grass beneath my feet, I finally feel like letting me leave wasn’t a trick.
A familiar beetle flies past my face and enters the forest in front of me.
“Thank fuck you’re here,” I say under my breath.
Once we’re under the cover of the trees, Farris removes the illusion, and I tell him all about what happened.
“I’m sorry, Durin,” my friend says squeezing my shoulder.
A heavy shame settles in my chest. I remind myself that this is Farris. He’d never judge me for what I’ve been forced to do. I grunt in response, still unable to look him in the eye.
“I told your parents the queen discovered your magic and took you to the castle,” he says. “I assured them you’re fine. You might want to stop by and speak with them, though. They’d probably like to see for themselves that you’re well.”
I probably owe them that, but I just can’t face them. I pushed them away for years then walked out on them without even saying goodbye. I can’t come back and pretend that there’s hope for us to get to become close again.
“I’ve been commanded to fill Mitah’s position,” I tell Farris. “I should probably hunt at least one of the fae on this list down before running a personal errand. If someone from the castle checks up on me, I need to be seen giving priority to the queen’s orders.”
Farris frowns and snatches the list from my hand. “At least they made it easy for you,” he mutters after reading over the names and locations.
I shrug, knowing he doesn’t realize how unfortunate it actually is. “Let’s just start with the first one. He’s the closest.”
I’ll have to come up with another excuse not to visit my parents after that, but I’ll worry about it then.
“I know a shortcut,” Farris grins as he heads in the opposite direction I would have chosen.
He’s explored a lot since learning Vernan can’t see through his layered illusions. Spying on unsuspecting fae is one of his favorite things to do. Why he’s leading me through the thorniest plants and most uneven ground he can find, though, I don’t really understand.
“Couldn’t have found an easier path?” I ask a bit later, slightly annoyed at the rough terrain.
Farris simply laughs and continues to lead the way. I follow, carefully watching my step over the rocks and giant roots jutting out of the ground. I realize I’m incredibly lost at the same moment I hear a loud cry ahead of us.
I shush Farris and yank him to a stop by his tunic. My magic awakens defensively and flows into my fingertips. Despite the security of my new title and cloak, I don’t trust anything or anyone except my friend.
We peer around the cover of a large tree and find a cave carved into the side of a steep rock face. The sound we heard must have come from inside. I want to investigate, but a huge russet-colored gryphon is standing guard at the entrance.
She’s already seen us. Her wings are spread, and she begins pacing back and forth along the opening, clearly not happy about our presence. She’s intimidating, but I’m more interested in the pained cries echoing in the cave behind her. They take me back to the moment when the small shifter died at Mitah’s hands. His screams haunt me still, even after avenging him. I don’t fear the gryphon nearly as much as adding another cry to haunt me.
The wails grow louder and more desperate. Whoever she is, she’s in terrible pain. My chest tightens with each one, but the gryphon remains on guard, her stare unwavering.
“I have to see what’s happening,” I whisper to Farris.
“I’m not sure that’s wise,” he says, trying to pull me back behind the tree. “Whoever’s in there will be fine. Gryphons don’t take prisoners.”
“But what if they do and we’ve just never witnessed it?” I ask, unable to just walk away from such urgent cries for help.
“You’re thinking of the Beta,” Farris says. “I get it.” He steps back and grips my shoulder. “I bet the gryphon is just protecting whoever’s inside. That’s more in their nature. Go talk to her. Maybe she can reassure you somehow. Then, we can get on our way.”
I emerge from behind the tree and slowly walk toward the cave. The gryphon spreads her wings wider as I approach, blocking the entire entrance. Her eyes pierce through me, slicing a path from my eyes down to the royal emblem on my chest.
I bow my head to her, unsure whether the crest will help me or hurt me. Some gryphons do guard the queen’s treasure, but that doesn’t mean they favor her. I decide not to address the crest.
“I heard the sounds of distress,” I say. “They remind me of a shifter from my past who died at the hands of someone wicked. Someone I recently killed for his cruelty.”
It’s not just that, though. The voice calls to me in a way I can’t describe. It’s like my future hinges on finding whoever she is and protecting her. It seems absurd. Maybe I’m losing it. I’m damaged in so many ways, so it isn’t impossible.
But the pull feels too real. It’s not something I’ll be able to ignore.
The gryphon finally reacts, folding her wings back and looking into my eyes. She’s listening.
“I was too young and weak to help back then, but I would like to help now. If I may.”
I suddenly remember the pouch of coins tucked into my tunic. After pulling it out, I show the contents to the gryphon, offering it to her as proof of my sincerity. She lifts one of her front legs and grabs the pouch with talons the length of my entire hand.
I begin to make my way inside, but the gryphon lets out a deafening roar, throwing open her wings and stopping me in my tracks.
Did she take my offering only to deny me? I don’t want to hurt this innocent creature, but I need to get in this cave. I try asking peacefully once more, pressing my hand against my chest where the cries cut the deepest.
“You can accompany me and supervise what I do. I’m no match for you. I just want to help,” I tell her. “Please, let me help.”
The gryphon leans down so close her beak almost touches my nose. Her black eyes pierce through me in clear warning. She could wrap her wings around me and rip my face off with her claws in seconds if she wanted to.
I bow my head to her, putting myself at her full mercy. This is her territory. I have no authority here.
A scream from inside the cave makes me flinch. I look back up into the gryphon’s eyes, pleading silently for her to let me enter. She must see my sincerity because she pulls away from my face and folds her wings back, finally letting me pass.
“Thank you,” I breathe before looking back at Farris.
He’s moved closer to the cave but not enough to provoke the gryphon. “I’ll cover for you,” he says.
I hadn’t considered what would happen if the queen sent for me while I’m here. I have no idea how long this will take.
“Thanks,” I tell him. “Will you try to locate the fae on the list so I can speak to them when I’m done here?”
He nods as his features seamlessly shift to mirror my own. Blue overtakes the orange of his hair, and the locks shorten to match my length. His green tunic fades into my white uniform, and after he focuses for a moment, he replicates the queen’s crest on the cloak.
Seeing myself adorned in the queen’s attire makes me feel like a traitor. I turn my back on what I’ve become and continue deeper into the cave.