Consort (Noble Reckoning #1)

Chapter 11

Durin

As I move through the darkness, the wailing starts up again. I may not know how to help her yet, but I know I can do something.

My stomach clenches in anticipation as I walk down a narrow passage through the cave. This is my chance to start making amends for the life I took, as well as the one I was unable to save. But the fear of failing again sits on my chest, pressing down with every breath. What if I end up making things worse?

Despite my fears, I continue as the cave opens up into a larger, slightly brighter room. There’s nothing in the space but a small figure curled up beside a heap of straw. Based on her size, I’d say she’s a shifter or a juvenile fae. But who is she to the gryphon to be allowed so close to its nest?

A sharp cry bursts from her lips, and I instinctively step closer. Her long, black hair catches my attention first. It’s darker than any hair I’ve seen, splayed out against the straw in perfect, silky waves. It reminds me of the enchanting ripples in the kelpies’ dark lakes, places no fae is brave enough to enter. I’m shaken by an overwhelming desire to dip my fingers into the dark strands.

She drags her tired eyes in my direction, paralyzing me. They’re angular and sharply defined, intimidating despite her state of weakness. Her long, dark lashes frame her eyes like the thick fur of an Alpha wolf. What’s left of her green irises is striking, though watery and unfocused in her pain.

She’s stunning. More beautiful than any creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. Sweaty, feverish, and exhausted... Even in this state, she’s somehow overthrown me. There’s something about how raw and vulnerable she is that threatens to bring me to my knees.

I see no attacker, and a gryphon already stands guard outside, but I’m compelled to protect her. The only way I can think to do that is to take her pain away. I move closer and crouch in front of her to see if I can find the source of it. She’s a small shifter, a Beta or Omega. What’s she doing out here all alone?

“The gryphon let me in to help you,” I say softly, hoping to earn her trust. “Just tell me what you need.”

She remains silent, gazing at my face and neck with her cloudy eyes. I can’t read her expression. Not even a little bit. It’s infuriating. I’d be tempted to kill again if it would tell me what she’s thinking right now.

“What are you called?” I ask, needing that connection to feel more in control.

Her lush lips move, and her tongue flicks around in her mouth, but no words come out. Only a whimper as she rolls over and clutches her stomach. Watching her turn away feels like a blow to the chest. I can’t explain it, but I’m desperate for her to face me again. I need her to know I’m here.

I need her to want me here.

I pause to feel the air, searching for some trace of magic that could be making me feel so unstable. But I feel nothing. I need to pull it together. She needs help, and I won’t leave without giving it to her. But it would really help me out if she would just tell me what to do.

I reach out and gently roll her back over so we can talk. When her eyes flutter open, I’m struck by how different they look from a few seconds ago. The slivers of green are gone, swallowed up by her blown pupils. Her eyes are left as black as her shiny hair.

All at once, she transforms into an entirely different creature than what rolled away from me. Her eyes fixate on my lips for a moment, then trail down my chin and neck. I notice her fingers twitching like she wants to reach out and touch me.

Her nostrils flare and her eyes roll back in her head. It takes me a moment, but I realize she’s scenting me. Her hungry look floods me with arousal. I’m immediately ashamed of my reaction. This isn’t normal, and this isn’t about me. I shake off my failure so far and focus what’s ailing her. I can’t fix her until I know what I’m dealing with.

“Are you sick?” I ask, hoping she’ll finally speak. “Are you cursed? Poisoned?” Still, she remains silent, giving me no hint at what’s wrong.

Then, as if her pain has vanished, she rises easily to her knees in front of me. I move to mine as well, mirroring her position. Her hair is damp and matted against her head. Tears have left streaks down her flushed, dirty cheeks. Still, my stomach flips over at just how damn beautiful she is.

How is she affecting me like this? And why have her cries suddenly stopped? What kind of spell have I walked into?

I consider going back outside to think. My mind was much clearer before I stepped into this cave. But before I can rise to do it, she lunges forward and grabs my cloak with both of her hands.

I freeze, worried she’ll see the crest and send me away. Seconds ago, I wanted to go. Now, all I care about is making the cloak disappear.

I tear it off and fling it across the cave. The Omega sways a bit with my sudden movement, so I take her hands to steady her. Slowly, I guide them to my tunic, allowing her to hold onto me again.

And fuck if it doesn’t feel more like I’m begging.

She tightens her grip, and I let my hands fall. I probably shouldn’t let her touch me until I’m sure there’s no curse or poison that could spread. But since she won’t speak, I’ll have to let her show me what she needs. And I can’t lie to myself. The way she’s gripping me makes me feel needed. I can’t help but be empowered by it.

She shuffles forward on her knees until we’re touching. I’m shocked by the warmth of her body as she presses it against me. My cock tries to swell, but I will it back down with a curse. It never seems to have the right response for the situations I’m in.

She wiggles against me, and a tiny growl slips out of her lips. It’s so endearing that I feel the urge to embrace her. I can’t remember the last time I wanted to hug someone. The strength of the desire is alarming, but it’s easy to resist. Wrapping my arms around her could frighten her. The last thing I want is for her to feel trapped. I let my arms hang at my sides as she snuggles closer, trying to ignore her breasts pressing against my stomach and her soft, contented sighs.

I decide to sit back on my heels to put a little distance between us, but she follows, scooting herself between my thighs and pressing her body against me again. She buries her face in my neck and pulls in a deep breath. My cock defies my will and fills with blood. I try to pull away as it begins to move in my leathers, but she grips me tightly and continues to scent me with a soft moan.

I’m trying to figure out how to politely remove her when something warm and wet slides across my throat.

Did she just lick me?

I look down to see her dragging her dampened lips across my shoulder. The puffs of her breath send chills across my body as I try to remember what I’m supposed to be doing. She slides her hands down my chest and around to my back like she owns me. After finding her way into my tunic, her hot fingers run along my spine while she continues to taste my skin.

I shudder under her attention, trapped in whatever spell this is. Surely, she’s no shifter. She’d never hold a fae this way. She must be a siren, somehow this far from the dark lakes. She called me in with a cry of pain instead of a seductive song.

A small growl slips into my ears, and I feel two small pricks in my shoulder. When I look over and find her mouth clamped down on my skin, I finally realize what’s happening.

It’s a heat.

Everyone knows about heats. It’s a topic that fascinates the fae. A heat is when Omega shifters go into mating frenzies that can last for days. Fae are renowned for their sensuality, but none can compare to the lust of an Omega in heat.

Heats are one of the things that set us apart from shifters. The fae don’t look down on them for this difference, though. Fae are too wrapped up in their own sexual natures to judge others for their mating behaviors. Some fae like to boast that they could handle a heat or replicate it. But if heats live up to the stories I’ve heard, no one but an Omega could last or lust in such a way.

Alphas, the strongest shifters, typically care for them during these periods. This little shifter must be an Omega. An Alpha would know what she needs.

But the thought of an Alpha, or anyone , touching her makes the fire inside me roar to life. I’d rather burn the entire forest to the ground than let anyone into this cave with her.

I scold myself, wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. She’s not mine. She isn’t even coherent right now. I know she doesn’t want to be touching me like this. There’s just no Alpha here. In her desperation, she’s simply taking what’s available.

But she deserves more than what I can offer. She should have an Alpha who knows what he’s doing and who has the skills to appease her. Not a clueless fae consort, straight from the wretched queen’s bed. The best thing I can do for her is to bring her someone who can actually help.

“I’ll go find you an Alpha, little shifter,” I tell her, gritting my teeth against the anger those words bring me.

I expect her to be relieved, but she grabs my arms and shakes her head frantically, her eyes wide with fear.

“No Alpha?” I ask, ashamed of how proud that makes me feel. “I want to help you, but I think an Alpha would be better suited to your needs than I am.”

Admitting that makes me rage inside, but she should have someone here who can truly take care of her. I watch her face as she tugs on my arms and shakes her head again. Despite her fever, she’s made her feelings about Alphas perfectly clear.

I’m torn. Finding an Alpha is the obvious solution. Do I bring her what she needs or respect what she’s telling me she wants?

When I’m slow to reassure her, she wraps her arms tightly around my neck, kissing and biting my chin. Her whimpers are desperate, like she’s begging me to protect her. How could I possibly turn her away and be the cause of her fear?

I give in and pull her against my chest. Her pain seems to have subsided. If I can calm her mind, too, perhaps she’ll finally speak to me.

But her skin is too soft. Her lips and teeth electrify my skin. I don’t know how I’m supposed to think rationally when she’s touching me like this.

It’s all so frustrating. This is not at all what I had expected when I asked the gryphon to let me in. I was prepared for a battle, to rescue an innocent from their captor. Or to get the best healing for someone sick or injured. Figuring out what to do with an Omega in heat who refuses an Alpha is something I’d never have guessed. I’m not sure I would have even entered this cave had I had known this is what was waiting for me.

My spirits drop even lower when she cries out and goes rigid in my arms. Her pain has returned.

I lower myself to sit on the ground and let her curl up in my lap. I don’t feel right filling in for the Alpha who should be tending to her. I respect that she doesn’t want one, but what will happen if she doesn’t satisfy her heat? Will she suffer like this for days until the heat passes? Will she remain in heat until she does take a mate?

Could she die from this?

It’s hard to believe that nature would use pain and confusion to force someone into mating. Mating should be about desire and pleasure, not an illness to be alleviated. It should be a choice.

But would this Omega actually choose me if she were in her right mind?

I suddenly feel the weight of the filth on my skin. Just last night, I lay with the queen. Now, here I am, letting this unknowing shifter put her lips and hands on me. To look at me like I could possibly be her savior. How can I even consider helping her in such an intimate way when she’d never choose me with a clear mind?

I’m furious at having this impossible choice forced on me. The Omega is in pain, begging for relief. I have the power to help her, but my help just wouldn’t be right. She shouldn’t have to settle for her last resort. And though it’s a standing I may have earned, I don’t want to be anyone’s last resort.

I seethe as I rub the Omega’s back. My chest heaves with the strain of holding all the anger in. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

The little shifter uncurls her body and reaches her arms out to me. Her pleading eyes pierce through mine, boring their way into my angry, conflicted brain. She’s so helpless. And so beautiful. My hesitation begins to slip away like shadows fleeing the sun. I know she’s reaching for relief, not for me. But she refuses an Alpha, and I don’t know who I can trust to take my place.

As guilty as I feel touching her with soiled hands, I couldn’t bear to watch her go without relief. And I’d never survive the disappointment in her eyes when I had to deny her over and over again.

She lets out a whimper too desperate to ignore. If I hadn’t already given in, that small, pleading sound would destroy whatever fight I had left. I take her outstretched hands and press them against my stomach, giving her free reign to take whatever she needs.

Her eyes seem to clear as hope flickers through them. But in the next moment, they’ve glazed back over with feverish need. She grabs the folds of my tunic, tearing at them as she tries to pull it off of me.

I should be ashamed by how connected I am to her goal right now. I rip it off and sling the cursed thing across the cave. Her eyes glisten as she takes me in. She lunges forward, attaching her mouth to my chest. Her tongue leaves a trail of chills behind as it glides across my skin.

Smooth fingertips dip into the front of my leathers, directing all the heat in my body to my cock. She’s almost undone the ties when she pulls away and zeroes in on one of my ears.

I try to stop her, but she’s fast. She shoves my head to the side and traces her fingers along the sensitive length of it. By the time she reaches the pointy tip, I’m more aroused than I’ve ever been. I feel like I’ve lost any control I’d managed to hold onto.

I groan without meaning to. She jerks her head up and cocks it to one side, watching me like she’s intrigued. Or maybe she finds me strange. I wish I knew what she was thinking. And I wish I knew what the heck I’m supposed to be doing. There’s very little I actually know about what happens during heats. The thought of messing up and making things worse hits me with a wave of disgust.

With any mercy, she’ll guide me through this.

She gives me the slightest smile before ripping her own tunic over her head. I let my eyes wander over her bare shoulders and down to her tightly bound chest, immediately second-guessing my decision. Is going through with this truly the right call?

But as I watch her angrily tug at her excessively tight bindings, I remind myself that she made her feelings clear–she wants my help. Who am I to decide she’s wrong? She’s feverish, but she still deserves a choice.

Her frustration causes her to tangle everything up. I gently grasp her tiny fingers to stop her from making it any worse. She stills and allows me to lower them to her sides. She sits calmly on my lap and studies my face as I carefully unwrap her bindings.

As soon as she’s free from them, she lets out a sigh of relief. She closes her eyes as the fabric falls to the ground. I can’t help but look down at her breasts. They’re unbelievably swollen. The taut skin is almost splitting with the pressure. Her nipples are dark and hardened, like the small pits of a ripe dewlap fruit. My cock rises again at the sight.

I close my eyes, too, trying to get control of myself. But she notices my arousal and reaches for my bulging leathers. I take her hands again, but this time, she growls out a warning and yanks them away.

I’m taken aback, but I can’t help but chuckle at her defiance. Such a small creature to be so in charge.

She doesn’t appreciate my laughing and huffs at me. Just as quickly, she forgets all about it and focuses on her clothing. I help her again, this time out of her leathers. I have to stand her up and kneel in front of her to get them off.

I make quick work of them, driven by her growls and fumbling hands. She tries to stomp out of the legs but almost falls, so I press my knee into the fabric and lift her body up to get her frantic feet out of them.

She’s so small, with tiny toes on tiny feet. I could wrap my fingers around her ankles with room to spare. But something about her seems so strong. In a realm filled with powerful magic and immeasurable beauty, this huffy, sweating little shifter is the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.

My fingers move on their own accord, trailing lightly up her pale legs to remove her undergarment. It’s not a typical one. She’s swathed in many layers of thick material, which looks quite uncomfortable. Maybe she doesn’t need to mate, after all. Simply freeing her from this horrid thing should be enough to satisfy her.

She works at the wrappings, but the thought of her being the only exposed one just doesn’t feel right. I rise and hastily kick off my boots before dropping my leathers.

She clutches her stomach but watches me with captive eyes. Her pain seems to have lessened, but it’s still there. She only seems able to bear it now that she has hope of being cared for. My heart tightens as I wonder how long she’d been suffering before I found her.

I sink to my knees and gently hook a finger into her wrappings, waiting for a sign to proceed. But instead of giving me one, she drops to the ground and shoves me with surprising force. I fall backward and have to catch myself with my hands.

Before I can get up, she’s on me. Her soft hands grip my thighs as her warm, wet mouth slides over the head of my cock. She growls around it, sending vibrations along my length and all the way up to my ears.

I moan as my cock responds, eagerly rising to its fullest and pressing against the roof of her mouth.

I’m still struggling to believe this level of intimacy is really what she needs. But I’ve handed over control. If this is what she decides to do with it, I won’t fight her. I’ll lean back and let her lead.

She tightens her grip on my thighs and slides her mouth further down my shaft. Her tongue swirls around as she sucks. It lights up my cock like the crackling flames of a festival fire.

She grows fervent, sucking so hard that the pressure is almost unbearable. I struggle to control myself and hold back my release. If I’m going to actually help her, I’ll have to dominate my own desire and wait for the right moment to give in.

She eases up a bit and licks at my slit, lapping up the steady trickle of fluid she’s caused. My cock twitches under her touch, and she chases the tip with her tongue, determined to catch every drop. She finally grabs the base of my shaft and holds me still while she takes what she wants.

Her aggressive, yet tender, movements warm an icy spot in my heart. I could almost believe she actually desires me. That she’s happy to have me here.

I scoff at myself. I know it isn’t true. I’m just fulfilling a need. But I’ll never feel this needed again. This is my last chance at experiencing something meaningful that isn’t rooted in violence. And the last time that touch isn’t the enemy. I’ll hold onto it, even when it’s just a memory. Even if I’m granted only a few days to remember it.

I’ve been too still. She’s annoyed by that and growls loudly around my cock. The pleasure makes my hips thrust into her mouth several times without warning. She pops off and looks intently down at me as she wipes her mouth with her hand.

Then, her eyes flash, and she begins tearing at her wrappings. I give her my full attention as she peels them off layer by layer until she’s finally free of them.

Everything fades away as I take in the full vision of her beauty. Her sharp, watery eyes pierce me with an innocent look of impatience. Long, flowing strands of black hair fall past her shoulders, softly framing her pale body. Her slender waist curves out into sensual hips like the waves of a stormy sea. And strong, lean thighs pull my eyes upward to their apex.

She’s as smooth as I appear. Which is smoother than I wish to be. I drop my glamour, letting let my dark blue hair frame the base of my cock as it’s meant to. There’s a clear fluid glistening along the Omega’s delicate folds, and I need to see it dampen my curls as I care for her.

She leans forward and peers down at them curiously but doesn’t consider their sudden appearance for long. She turns and positions herself on all fours. Her perfectly round ass is pushed back, opening her up just enough to call me to her core.

I long to taste her and whatever that excessive lubrication is. But she still has that impatient look as she turns and glares at me over her shoulder. I have no choice, and I don’t really wish for one. I move closer, gently holding her hips as I line myself up with her entrance.

“I’ll help you, little shifter,” I whisper, letting any lingering reservations and frustrations fall away. “Take whatever you need.”

I can’t be sure, but I think I see her eyes soften before she turns away. She wastes no more time and presses back enough to make contact with the tip my cock. My shaft jumps with excitement, but I grab it and guide the head back between her folds.

It’s instantly coated in a slippery moisture, and my nostrils are blasted with its sweet scent. A low groan escapes my lips as I glide my shaft back and forth along her silky skin. Each pass builds my arousal and makes me even harder for her.

Just this small amount of contact threatens to be my undoing. But as I listen for any sounds of her pleasure, all I can hear are my own ragged breaths. This isn’t doing much for her. I pass my length along her core again, then gently ease myself inside.

A moan from the depths of her belly echoes off the cave walls and races down my spine. Her body trembles as I press deeper, and I’m completely lost to the feel of our joined bodies and the sounds of her relief.

She bows her head as the pain slowly rolls away. I watch her shoulders rise and fall with each deep breath as I move in and out of her tight channel.

Her body holds just enough tension to stay upright. I lower one hand to the cave floor and slip my other arm beneath her ribs to support her.

I know it’s too forward, but I ignore my hesitance and nestle my face in the curve of her neck. I brace myself to be pushed away, but she surprises me by leaning into my touch. She rolls her hips, perfectly matching my thrusts. Soft whimpers tickle my ears each time I pull back, followed by long sighs when I press deep inside her again.

I can feel a connection trying to form. It tugs sharply on my chest, but I can’t allow it. Her heart isn’t in this. If I allow mine to be, whatever remaining threads that hold it together will be torn away. I don’t know where my soul would go if my heart turned to stone.

I find myself envious of the Alpha shifters. I feel like claiming this Omega as my own could erase everything–the years of anger and resentment, the desperation for justice and change, and the guilt and shame for the things I’ve had to do. She would be my only duty. I could live my life protecting her, completely fulfilled if I saw no one but this stunning little shifter for the rest of my life.

I scold myself for my sentiments. Those are a juvenile’s daydreams. When this is over, she’ll send me away. She’ll turn her back to me again, maybe even hate me for daring to touch her. But she needs me now, so I need to shut down all this thinking and get back to it.

I lift up to a kneeling position but keep her pressed tightly against my chest. I slide the fingers of my free hand down her stomach and slip one between the top of her folds where her clit is hiding. She bucks into me with the first feather-light touch.

After a few minutes of slow thrusts and circling fingers, I begin pumping into her faster and harder, trying to keep pace with her as she jerks against my finger. She gets close to the edge again and again, but something prevents her from finding release. She whimpers as I build her up again, but I still can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. She eventually drops her shoulders and growls in frustration.

Why did I think I could replace an Alpha for this? Sure, I could easily defeat one with my magic in a fight, but this? I’m unprepared and uninformed. I have no idea what I’m doing wrong. I’ll need to find an Alpha for her. One that seems trustworthy.

The thought of stepping aside makes me want to blast a hole in the wall of this cave. But as much as it will pain me, she needs someone who can do it right. I’ll just have to stand close by and make sure he doesn’t harm her.

But she stops me from acting on my decision with a mumble I can’t quite make out. I’m happy to learn she’s able to speak, but it won’t do me any good if I can’t understand what she’s trying to say.

“What is it, little one?” I ask, annoyed at my own cooing but hoping she’ll try again.

She growls in frustration before yelling at me.

“Knot!”

Oh… I remember now. I’ve heard Alphas have an extra part. Perhaps all male shifters have them. I can’t recall. But I know what she’s referring to. It’s an area at the base of the cock that swells up into a ball. I’m unsure of its purpose, but I know it’s used during mating.

I also know that I don’t have one.

I’m the one who growls this time, furious with my inadequacy. She needs this. It’s how an Alpha would soothe her.

But I want to help her!

A competitiveness ignites inside me, and I want to annihilate every asshole with a knot for having an advantage over me. Heat races through my body, escaping onto my skin in hot beads of sweat. My growl overpowers hers, but she cuts it short and calms me down with one simple word.

“Please,” she whispers, turning her head to nip at my shoulder.

It’s a tender bite. Supportive, not aggressive. It douses my heat and floods me with peace. One I haven’t felt in a very long time. Maybe even ever.

Through the calm, an idea forms in my mind; I can glamour one . Why not? Glamours trick the eyes and body, making it feel real. I can give her a knot. I can be just as good as an Alpha.

But I plan on being even better.

After guiding her back down to her hands and knees, I gently move her hair over to one side. I run my fingers along her back and pull out slightly, then stare down at my cock. What does a knot look like? How big should I make it?

I don’t have a clue. All I can do is try to visualize it. I picture my magic pooling at the base of my shaft, heating up and swelling me with the pressure. Immediately, my girth doubles in size in that area. It looks so foreign to me, and it feels strange. I hope I’ve gotten close to how it should look.

I worry it might be too big. I shrink it down a bit, then press back in until the knot sits right against her opening. I pause, hoping she’ll show me what to do next. When she feels the pressure, she gasps and shoves her body back, taking the entire thing inside.

I’m surprised at how easily she accepts it. She begins squeezing me so tightly that I have to bite my tongue to keep from coming right away.

The look of awe and arousal in her eyes as she peeks back at me make me feel like a king. Not a damn consort, but a fucking ruler. I don’t know what to do with this power I’m feeling, but I know I want to keep seeing that look on her face.

I grasp her shoulders and begin pumping. She moans and grips me even tighter than before. Each time I pull out to the knot, she clamps down hard as if she’s trying to keep it inside. I try to pull out fully, but she growls and shoves back against it. I chuckle to myself, but it’s clear she wants more. I grow the glamour until it’s the size I initially chose.

She howls and shoots up onto her knees. I’m afraid I’ve gone too far until she reaches back to grasp my neck behind her with a groan. I wrap my arms around her small body and kiss her jaw and shoulder, pretending she feels the way her body is reacting.

I shouldn’t. It’s a terrible idea. But I don’t want to stop myself. No amount of magic would make me feel more powerful than this. Fuck the rest of the realm. I could die a hero after this.

But I have to keep my heart shielded. After the heat, she’ll be done with me. My mission still needs to matter when she turns and walks away from me. If it doesn’t, I’ll have nothing.

She falls back to her hands and knees, arching her back and twisting her body around the knot. I let her lead, simply holding onto her hips. The glamour tricks me as well, magnifying the sensations and making it hard to stay in control of myself. I let go of my nagging thoughts and focus on my body.

There’s no way I’ll last much longer, but I can at least maintain my glamour. She’ll be able to continue after I’ve succumbed to my release. And release comes swiftly. I grab her shoulders, thrust my hips forward, and just let it happen. I grunt with pleasure as each wave of my essence pours out of my body and into hers.

Pleasure continues to pulse through me long after my release has gone. I think I’m beginning to understand the nature of these heats. This part of their mating would serve as a strong foundation for their lives together. Fae don’t typically take mates. If we had heats, I bet having a mate would be as common for us as it is for them. I do wonder about the other shifters, the Betas. Is there a different mating ritual for them I’ve not heard of?

As my mind wanders, I stimulate the Omega’s clit with gentle swirls of my finger, hoping she’ll find full relief soon. She pulls every ounce of my attention back when a roar too big for her body blasts against the cave wall.

It worked. She clenches down even harder as she rides her release out to its end. Her walls flutter around me as her pleasure tapers off. I don’t know why, but she remains tense when she’s finished, gripping the knot just as tightly. My cock begins to soften anyway and starts to slip, taking the knot with it. She panics and pushes herself back onto me.

It’s obvious that she wants the knot to remain. I can make it easier for her. I grow the knot slowly until I feel snug pressure around it from all sides. When I pull my hips back a bit, the knot holds. I’m wedged securely inside, taking her burden away.

Her body immediately relaxes, and she begins rocking gently against me. Her sighs tell me she’s content, but tremors continue to roll through her legs. I gently lower us to the ground and shift us onto our sides, cradling her against me. I know it’s a bad idea. But she’s been through a lot and deserves to feel secure in her relief.

Worn out from mating and the time she spent in pain, she slips off to sleep. I watch her chest rise and fall with each soft, even breath. The act of trust sends a surge of power through me, like she’s grown my magic all on her own. But it’s just instinctual. I’ve tricked her brain into thinking I’m her Alpha. She would expect me to protect her.

And I will. But I’m not sure if there’s more an Alpha would do at this point. I don’t know how long she will need my help or how long Farris can cover for me. But right now, all I care about is her comfort.

And if I’m being honest, a bit of my own comfort as well.

***

We mate twice more before she rests again. Without the pain driving her, she becomes less frantic with her motions. Some of the time, she demands I take her aggressively. The rest, she climbs on top and rides me at a lazy pace. I lie back while she takes control, studying her sharp features and instinctual movements.

She’s captivating. I memorize the flicks of her eyes and the pursing of her lips when something feels good. I know I should reserve the space in my mind for things pertaining to the castle, but I don’t care. I’ll need something beautiful to revisit as I trudge through the darkness of my future.

If I even have a future after breaking the one rule I’ve been commanded to follow.

Though I’m exhausted, I find it hard to sleep. I’m afraid if I let myself drift off, she’ll be gone when I open my eyes. I know each moment I spend with her will make returning to my reality more difficult. But spending even minutes sleeping seems wasteful.

Also, I’m dying of thirst. She must be, too. I need to find some water. I shrink the knot enough to slip out of her body. After carefully untangling my limbs from hers, I sneak to the cave entrance to find something to drink. I haven’t heard any rain from outside, so I’m worried it will be difficult to find water. And I’m worried the gryphon won’t let me back in once I’ve left.

But the gryphon is nowhere to be found. Maybe she got tired of listening to all the moaning and growling coming from her cave. The only thing near the entrance is a jug of water and what looks like a package of food.

It must have been Farris. I grab the supplies and take a few big gulps of the water. I can’t imagine anything ever tasting better than this. Except maybe the Omega’s silky fluid. But that’s not a perk I’m willing to take from her heat.

I race back to her, hoping she’s still sleeping soundly. Unfortunately, I’m not so lucky. I find her trembling in the straw nest, clutching the cloak I’d covered her with. Her watery eyes dart around the cave until they come to rest on me. I expect her to calm down when she sees that I’m back, but her chin begins to quiver. The tears flow even faster.

My heart cracks as I realize she thought I’d abandoned her. That I used her need for my own pleasure and then dumped her. She couldn’t be more mistaken.

I walk over while holding out the jar and food. “Hey, it’s alright. I just went to find some water. You need to drink.”

She hugs my cloak tighter to her chest and peeks at the jug. Her shoulders slump when she sees that I’m not lying, but she’s still upset. She lets her head fall back, then takes a deep breath and sobs. Just sobs . Even though I returned, she’s completely devastated.

Seeing her look so betrayed is ripping a hole in my chest. What did I do wrong? I wish I’d learned more about shifters and heats. Did I break some important rule I was unaware of? There must be a way to fix this.

I sink to my knees and place the supplies aside. She doesn’t growl at me as I crawl into the nest, so I scoop her up and pull her into my arms. She tries to struggle, but I refuse to let go. Cradling her head against my chest, I pull us down onto the straw, then just hold her.

I brush her hair aside and trail my fingertips along her neck. I slide them along her spine, then back up to massage her shoulder. She finally eases up some, but holds me tightly and inhales my scent with each breath. This must be so exhausting and confusing for her. I curse myself for screwing up and making it even harder.

We lie there for a very long time. Eventually, she seems to accept that I’m not leaving again and relaxes in my arms. Holding her tightly, I sit up and grab the jug of water. I hold it up to her mouth, but she makes no attempt to drink from it.

“You need to drink, Omega,” I say, shifting her away from me slightly. “Here.”

After making a small bowl with my hand, I pour some water into it. I raise it to her mouth, and as soon as my skin touches her lips, they part. Tilting my hand, I let the water trickle into her open mouth. Once the cool liquid reminds her how thirsty she is, she grabs my wrist with both of her hands and finishes the rest. Her eyes stay on my face as I refill my hand, and she drinks, only in this way, until she’s satisfied.

“I won’t leave you again,” I whisper. “I promise, I’ll stay.”

She huffs at me, making a smile tug at my lips. I mean what I said, though. I’m here to stay. When we part, it will be because she doesn’t need me anymore. Not because I was stupid enough to leave her side again.