Chapter 22
Liam
Britain’s house isn’t what I expected. The first time I was here, it was dark, and I headed straight for her bedroom. But walking in with all the lights on, I can see how nice it is. But it’s not our home and I need to have her home.
Jess greets Britain in the oversized chef’s kitchen with a big hug.
“Girl, I could kill you! I nearly had a damn heart attack,” she chides Britain. Same, though. When she fainted, it was like seeing everything I’ve ever wanted slip through my fingers. It was a fucking wake-up call. There’s absolutely no way I’m letting her get away. Screw Matt, screw the business — none of it matters if she’s not with me.
Jess glares at me, finally acknowledging my presence. I thought getting her to agree to relocate to my house was mission impossible, but she folded surprisingly easily. Her text said, Fuck it up, and I’ll help Alex bury you. Message received. I have absolutely no intention of fucking it up. Even though this morning — or was it afternoon? — was pretty fucking close.
That reminds me, I need to email Henry about reassigning Gina to someone else. Then I’m going to do what I thought I never would: I’m going to sell my part of the business. My father’s probably rolling in his grave that I’m even thinking about it, but I can’t be partners with Matt. Sitting in the back of the ambulance with Britain, the decision came easy. I want to be able to go where she and the baby are, and it’s not fair to the business for me to just shirk off for months of the year.
So when the girls go back to Virginia, and Britain does, too, so will I. I know the baby won’t be born by then, but who the fuck is going to look after Britain when she’s there? Me. Simple. Easiest decision I could ever make. Her and our little Bambi mean more to me than everything.
As much as I hated today, I can’t help but feel…happy. So fucking happy. And that probably makes me a sick bastard, but this is my opening, my chance. I have a lot to prove and I intend to do it. I’ll show Britain how much I love her every day for the rest of our lives. I don’t want another day to go by when she doesn’t feel cherished, respected, and most of all, safe. She’s so used to people leaving and betraying her, but that won’t ever be me. Never.
“I think I’m just going to get some water and head to bed,” Britain says quietly to Jess and the girls. They all agree and head to their own respective bedrooms, but first Caroline gives Britain an extra long hug. She tries to hide it, but I notice the tears she wipes away quickly. I wait for Britain to get her water…and then continue to wait. I think she’s actually forgotten I’m here, and I’m proven right when she turns around to see me standing there in the kitchen, alone with her, and she startles.
“Jesus, Liam. I’m not used to you, I guess, being here.” Get used to it, baby. I just let her comment go, though.
“Are you ready to head upstairs?” She just nods her head in response and I turn to let her lead the way. My heart starts beating faster in anticipation. Not because we’re going to be intimate, but because I’ll finally get to be alone with her. Even if it’s while she’s sleeping, just being with her is all I want. I can almost pretend that we’re back together, and that she’s sleeping in our bed. Fuck, I just wish it was tomorrow already.
Britain opens the double doors to the primary suite, revealing a neutral, modern space. It’s not decorated fully yet, but there’s something about it that doesn’t feel like she belongs here. Because she doesn’t. She belongs at our house in Spearhead.
When I close the doors behind us, my pulse ratchets up and my hands get clammy. Fuck me, I’m nervous.
She sneaks a peek at me over her shoulder, double checking I’m still with her, then points to the bathroom and says, “Feel free to get cleaned up. I’m just gonna go change in the closet real quick.” She doesn’t wait for a reply, just heading into her walk-in closet and shutting the door behind her. In the bathroom, there’s dual sinks. Hers is covered in products, all lined up neatly, while the other sink is barren, only a soap pump. Good, it looks like Matt wasn’t a regular overnight guest then. I slip out of my dress pants and shirt that still smell like scotch, and opt for a quick shower before bed. I’d hate to nauseate Britain with my alcohol stench.
She has towels stacked neatly on a shelf by her tub, so I grab one, then hop in the shower. It’s almost pitiful how fast my cock gets hard, because all I’m thinking about is how close I am to her. I’m thinking about when I’d fuck her in the shower at home, and how I wish she was in here with me now. I’m thinking about crawling into bed with her, her naked body pressed against mine, but I stop. That’s not what tonight is about. It’s about me being here for her. Making sure she’s okay. Making sure she has anything and everything she needs. That’s all.
When I turn off the water, I reach for my towel and see that Britain is standing stock still in front of the shower, staring at me. My dick doesn’t get the memo that it’s not play time and stands at full attention, throbbing for her. Her cheeks blush and she turns around fast, and I hate that that’s how it is now. Hopefully in time we’ll get back to the way we were. When my naked body was her favorite thing, and hers was mine. I mean, it still is for me — clearly — I’m just not that for her.
I do a quick dry off, wrapping the towel around my waist and tucking it in. We brush our teeth in tandem, she washes her face while I put on moisturizer, leaving us finished with the bathroom at the same time. I wait for her to walk back to the bedroom before I hit the light, ditching my towel before following behind her.
“Whoa, whoa, I’m gonna stop you right there,” Britain throws a hand over her eyes so she’s not looking at my naked form. “There are teenage girls in the house; you can’t sleep in here naked.” Right, fuck. I turn around, grabbing a pair of boxer briefs and slide them on. When I come back, she drops her hand and rolls her eyes. “That’s only moderately better, but for tonight, it’s fine.” I notice she’s not sleeping naked either. She has on a baggy t-shirt, but I can’t tell if there’s anything underneath. Definitely not a bra, though, I can see her hard nipples popping against the fabric and my dick swells with excitement. This might be more problematic than I planned.
She doesn’t say goodnight, or anything else for that matter. She just takes a drink of water, turns off the bedside lamp, and sinks into the bed, fluffing the duvet until she’s comfy. Should I say goodnight? Do I just let her sleep? I reach towards her to rub her back, but pull back before I can. I don’t want to scare her, or make her think I’m wanting more, but I do want to help her relax and rest. She needs it. She looks so tired and underweight, I get pissed off thinking about how she needs to be taken better care of.
She would’ve been if I’d never left, so that’s on me, and that’s what pisses me off the most. I lay on my side, staring at her back for longer than I should when I finally decide to say goodnight to her. I lean up and over to kiss the top of her head goodnight, but at the same time she rolls over, her elbow colliding with my face.
“Fuck,” I whisper-shout, holding my nose as my body falls back flat on the mattress.
“Oh, fuck, Liam. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were right there!” She whisper-shouts back at me.
“It’s okay, baby. I’m sorry. I…I was just going to say goodnight.” She sits up, placing one hand on my bare chest as she leans forward, trying to see my face.
“Are you okay? Do you have a bloody nose?” I can see her frantically trying to search me for injury.
“No, no. Lay back down. Go to sleep, okay?” I whisper back to her. She doesn’t say anything back, just laying down on her side, facing me this time. I roll over to face her, too, and wait for her to fall asleep. But thirty minutes later, she’s still laying there with her eyes open, not looking at me.
I ask quietly, “Do you want to talk about anything?”
“Oh, um. Yes…no. I want to talk about everything, but then I remember I’m mad at you, and then I don’t.” She shrugs, then resettles into bed, slightly closer to me this time.
“I’m sorry, Britain.”
“I know. I’m sorry, too.”
“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for.” I close the distance between us, scooting a little bit closer so I can stroke her hair. She relaxes into my touch easily.
“I slept with Matthias. I was with him. I don’t know.” I grimace, fighting down how angry I feel every time I think about them together. She wasn’t doing anything wrong, though. She wasn’t.
“It’s not like we’re together, though.” I laugh quietly, “you have made that very clear to me.”
“So you don’t think I’m a whore for being with him?”
My hand freezes. “No, not at all. I shouldn’t have implied such a thing earlier.” She nods silently. “I’m sorry, baby. Really fucking sorry. About all of it.”
“Stop saying sorry,” she whispers at me.
“I will when you forgive me.” I wait for her to say something. I’m not so lucky to think she’ll tell me she already has, but if she says she never will…well, that’s going to be hard to come back from.
“I’ll let you know when that happens then,” she says quietly, then finally closes her eyes. My heart could practically burst. She said, “When that happens.” I keep stroking her hair until I’m absolutely certain she’s asleep, and then I watch her for hours. Maybe I’ll fall asleep eventually, but right now, I just want to soak this up. Her proximity, the way she smells, the sound of her breathing right beside me. Her presence alone makes me smile, and every time I think I can’t possibly love her any more, she always seems to find a way to prove me wrong.
Britain
I wake up to the smell of pines and fresh coffee. My throat no longer hurts, and I’m feeling rested and warm, so I snuggle in deeper, keeping my eyes closed against the still-dark room. I want to stay just like this all day.
I move my hand, stroking idly against his hard chest. The constant thump, thump, thump of his heartbeat lulling me back into slumber as his warm fingers play gently against the small of my back.
When I drop my hand down past his chest to adjust the hem of my shirt, I brush against his rock-hard cock. It bumps against me, causing heat to pulse between my legs. Fuck. I open my eyes. FUCK. I push away from Liam.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” He sits up and asks as I scoot away from him.
“We’re not supposed to be cuddling.”
He looks sad for a moment before recovering. “Okay, I’m sorry, but you know, to be fair, you made the first move.”
“I did not!” I say fervently.
“Yes, baby, you did,” he says with a sly smirk on his face. Ugh.
“Then I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” I get up out of bed and head straight to the ensuite to pee and change. One perk of sleeping in the same bed as Liam, I’ll be getting up early from now on just so we spend less time together.
I slip off my oversized tee and rifle through my drawer for something slightly more conservative than my normal clothes. No baby tees and sleep shorts today.
Something about being in the same bed as him has me hot and bothered. The heat between my legs pulses and my muscles clench together desperately. I have to stop what I’m doing to catch my breath. When I do, I look up and notice I’ve left the closet door open and Liam is staring right at me, the heat in his eyes apparent. I can tell he’s staring at my midsection more than anything, my bump. I turn my back to him and reach for another nap dress off a hanger.
“C-can I see?” He scares the shit out of me. I turn to find him in the closet with me. Instinctively, I hold the dress over my bare body.
“I’m sorry, what?” I ask.
“I just want to see your bump, Britain. The baby?” Oh.
“Um, sure, I guess.” I move the dress to the side, but continue holding it against my breasts, trying to keep covered while still revealing my stomach. He drops to his knees right there, never taking his eyes off me.
“Can I touch you there, please?” I have to bite down hard on my lip to prevent me from reading too deep into his request. He wants to touch my belly because that’s where the baby is. That’s all.
I reply quietly, “If you want to.”
He brings his hands up, then gently presses them against my abdomen, taking his time. Savoring this. I’m just staring down, watching him, when he looks back at me with tears in his eyes. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this, baby.” My heart flutters, my cheeks heat, and my inner muscles clench, begging. Begging for something, anything. Let me go, Liam. He doesn’t release me, though. He just moves his hand over the area, feeling me and when he speaks again, it’s not to me.
“Hi, baby. I’m your dad, and I can’t wait to meet you.” He leans forward and presses the gentlest of kisses on my womb. I close my eyes and tip my head back, savoring the heat he sends spiraling through my core. Then he does it again, placing a gentle kiss on the other side, and then one on the other. I want him so bad. I hate that I want him.
His hands start to move away from my belly now. They slide down over my thighs, then he grips them tightly before releasing and gliding his hands up to my back side. He brushes so gently over my ass, the sensation causes me to release a small moan.
“You are the most beautiful fucking woman, Britain…” His breathing hitches when he settles his hands at my hips. “Do you want me to stop?” Fuck, no. I shake my head, and he repeats the movement, running his strong hands down my legs, then back up to land on my ass. This time, he doesn’t drop his hands back down, but skims one hand around to the front of me, slipping underneath my underwear.
I swallow and try to even my breathing, but I have no control when it comes to Liam. I never have. He pulls my panties lower and places a kiss on the bare skin, the contact making me reach out to put a hand in his hair. He pulls them lower still, placing another kiss, and this time I drop the dress I’m holding to place my other hand in his hair.
He looks up at me, a question in his eyes. Are we doing this? Yes. Fuck me, Liam. Yes. I give the smallest of nods, but he sees it. He stands up in front of me, pulling me against his hard chest. He drops his forehead to mine, both of us breathing raggedly.
“Do you want to go back to bed?” he whispers.
I shake my head. “No, right here, right now.” With those words, Liam drops his mouth to mine. His kiss is like molten lava. He pours himself into my mouth, and I feel it everywhere. The heat sinks down to my pelvis causing me to swell and dampen. My toes curl and tingle, and my palms get hot and wet.
He breaks the kiss to bend down and take off my panties, sliding them to the ground, but he doesn’t move to stand back up. He takes one of my hands in his for balance, then places one of my legs over his shoulder so he can put his mouth on my clit. And fuck me. He knows exactly what to do. He remembers exactly what will get me there and each time he does it our hands squeeze tighter together, both of us knowing.
“Liam, s-stop,” and he does, immediately, setting my one leg back down on the floor. I want him in me, but I don’t think I can say it out loud.
“Say it, Bambi.” Liam uses his stern voice that makes me start to leak in anticipation, but I shake my head. I can’t say it. I can’t tell him I want him. It’s like revealing all your cards in poker. You’re relinquishing control.
“This doesn’t change anything, okay?” I can’t say what I want to, that I want him, desperately. I can’t give in like that. He doesn’t say anything back, just nods his head, then tugs on my hand to pull me down to the floor. He slides off his boxer briefs, then lays me out beneath him. He puts my back against the plush carpet, then spreads my legs with a knee to settle between me.
There’s no backing away from him now. He’s staring at me so intensely, it’s like he’s boring his way back into my soul. His gaze drifts down my body, like he’s committing it to memory all over again. And I need him with a desperation that feels so vast, I’ll never be fulfilled.
He drops his lips to mine, leaving a searing kiss on my lips just as he starts to enter me, and I have to bite my lip hard to not scream in ecstasy. I close my eyes and embrace him into me. All of me.
I’ve just lied. This changes things. He changes me each time he touches me. Each time he loves me, each time he’s inside me, I change. I fall. I let him in.
He thrusts into me gently, rocking against me, our eyes connecting. I don’t want to look at anything else. I want to see him. I want to see what I do to him because I hope it’s at least a fraction of what he does to me.
We move against each other on the closet floor like we’ve done this a hundred times, but it’s still the first time. Our bodies synchronized in this dance we both love. Neither one of us talks the entire time, because we don’t need words here. We don’t need to role play or talk dirty. Even though we both love that, right now, we love coming together more. And we are, I can feel it. He’s burrowing his way back into my life.
He doesn’t have to burrow back into my heart, he’s never left. He’s in my bones, he’s in my DNA. He’s who I want and I never want this feeling to end. I want him like this every day. Every morning. Always.
“I’m going to fill you up, baby.” Like he isn’t already, but the words set me on fire. No one has ever fulfilled me like him. My muscles convulse and pull and strain, and Liam drops his hand to my mouth so my family doesn’t hear me cry out his name. And I do. I let his name leave my lips in this space for the first time. The second he hears his name, he loses it, pressing himself tight to me as his thick cock throbs and spills against my walls. He leans down, biting my shoulder gently to keep from yelling himself. Our orgasms seem to last forever, each of us riding out every second like it’s a lifeline and as soon as we let go, we’re dead. I don’t want to let go.
When our pulsing subsides, Liam makes no move to release me. Instead, he places soft kisses across my collar bone and then my chest.
“I love the way you smell, Bambi,” he whispers softly.
“And what do I smell like?” I ask, quietly.
“Mine,” he says, then looks at me. I nod. I get it. I really fucking do. Because every time I smell him, I think he smells like home. And safety. And it’s the only thing I want, and he’s the only place I want to be.