Chapter 23

Britain

When I come out of the water closet, Liam is standing in front of my sink. He has on dark gray jeans and a gray t-shirt that hugs his broad shoulders. Damnit, I love him. He holds out the dress that I dropped in the closet and helps me slip it on over my head. He doesn’t back away though once I’m dressed. He gets closer.

“Do you still mean what you said back there?” I give him a look of confusion, so he clarifies, “You said it wouldn’t change anything.” Oh. Of course it changed something.

“It can’t right now. There’s just a lot of other stuff we need to take care of first.”

“That’s not really an answer to my question, though, Bambi.” He’s impossibly close, so he moves his arms around me so I don’t lose my balance when he presses in again.

“Of course it changes things, Liam,” I say quietly, admitting it. I look up at him and ask, “Did you mean what you wrote in the letter, the part about wanting me that first day we met?” He nods his head.

“I wanted to make you mine the moment I laid eyes on you, and that feeling hasn’t stopped since then.” My cheeks heat and I feel like I could cry. All this time, it could have been us. I lean in and he meets me, our mouths colliding in pain, and ecstasy, and want. He strengthens his grip around me, as I thread my hands into his hair and we get lost in each other once again.

“Oh my god, Mom!” Caroline exclaims, then covers her eyes with her hand. Shit. I push out of the embrace, taking a step back and away from Liam. It could’ve been worse; she could’ve walked in 15 minutes ago to see me getting fucked on my closet floor.

“Caroline, open your eyes, but maybe next time, let’s knock and wait before walking in?” She drops the hand and looks between Liam and myself, her cheeks a bright shade of pink.

“Okay, sorry about that. I’ll knock and wait next time. Um, I just came to see when we’re leaving because Sandy wants Elodie and me to come over this afternoon.” I smile because if I’m honest with myself, I want to leave as soon as possible. I can’t wait to be close to the lake again, and to go see Sandy every morning at The Grounds. And I want to smell the pine trees and sit on the deck with a book. I look to Liam for his thoughts on timing, though. He double checks his watch before answering.

“There’s a cleaning crew there right now, so I think let’s plan to leave in a couple hours, give them time to do their thing?” I nod in agreement.

“Does that work?” I ask Caroline.

“Totally. I’ll go tell Elodie to start packing, and then you’re cool if we go to Sandy’s?”

“Absolutely,” I tell her.

She turns around to leave, but shouts over her shoulder, “You guys could also lock your door, too!” My cheeks turn bright pink now because there’s a part of me that does want to lock the door right now. I look over at Liam, and he’s wearing a shit-eating grin.

“I swear, it feels like you plan this. I was just about to tell you I don’t want my family to know about this,” I motion between the two of us, “but that’s out the window now.” He reaches out to pull me back into his embrace.

“Baby, we’re adults. Sleeping in the same room. With one bed. They would’ve figured it out.”

“I know. But can we not do obsessive PDA in front of them? The girls have only ever seen me romantically with their dad, and now we’re all just moving into your house, and I feel like I’m really fucking up their lives.” He brushes my hair out of my face with both hands.

“You’re not fucking them up, okay? I talked with the girls about how much I love and care about you, and how I just want to take care of all of you, including them and the baby. I also told them I wouldn’t rush anything, but that I needed you guys close so I can do that.” He gives a small laugh, “They’re so fucking smart, just like you. They understand.”

“When did you talk to them?”

“In the hospital, while I was getting coffee.”

“So before the doctor even recommended having someone with me during the day?”

“Yes.” He’s shameless, but I laugh. “Also, you should be proud, they drove a hard bargain.”

“Oh, that’s all Damian’s doing. Not mine.”

“Speaking of, he’s the only one I haven’t talked to.”

“Yeah, he texted me he couldn’t make it back until Wednesday at the earliest, so I’m not really worried about his situation.” Liam breaks out into a big smile. “What?”

“So you’re telling me you had an extra bed last night, and you didn’t tell me? Were you hoping to seduce me, Britain?” His tone is teasing, but I blanch. Fuck. Why didn’t I think of that last night? My subconscious knows why, though. It’s because I wanted him in my bed. Plain and simple.

Jess and all the girls are in my SUV, driving behind Liam and me up to his house. It’s the strangest thing to be able to fall right back into this level of ease and comfort in his presence, but somehow, I do. He has that effect on me. He absolutely makes my blood boil with lust, but when it’s just the two of us, I feel at peace and relaxed. I look down at where his hand hasn’t left my leg the entire drive, making me smile.

“Why do you have stitches?” He doesn’t move his hand away, just answers me.

“About that…your mirror, at the house…I ordered you a new one, but until it gets here, you can use my sink, okay?”

“You punched a mirror?!” What the hell?

“I’d just found out that you were pregnant, and that I’d missed everything that happened at Colton’s, and I was furious with myself over leaving. I’m sorry.” I nod.

“Um, so how did you find out that I was pregnant? You just decided to check your messages or something?” He squeezes my leg.

“You aren’t going to believe this, but it was actually Tori.” A cold shiver snakes up my spine at the mention of her name, but I don’t say anything, waiting for him to explain. “She came to tell me that you and Matt were together, to rub it in my face. And also,” he takes a deep breath, “she’s the reason why you’re pregnant.” THE FUCK?

“EXCUSE ME?”

“When she broke into the apartment, she went through and poked holes in all our condoms.”

“Uh, that is the most insane shit I have ever heard. That’s not real, right? Like she just made that up to screw with you?”

“No, I checked the ones we still had, and they all had holes in them.” I feel sick to my stomach.

“I got pregnant because a psychopath wanted revenge for losing her job?”

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” He sounds so sincere, but still, I start to breathe a little bit faster. I get angrier, too.

“Are you sorry? You wanted this, even when I didn’t.” Oh my god, could he have planned this? “Please be honest, did you have anything to do with that?” I wince, like I’m bracing for the worst, clutching the door handle till my knuckles turn white.

“Britain, no, of course not. I respected your wishes. I’m not a fucking monster. Baby, look at me.” I take a deep inhale, then turn to face him. “Of course I didn’t. If you would have decided you didn’t want to have this baby, I would have supported that decision, too! I’d even accepted we’d never have our own, okay? I promise.” I tilt my head back in frustration.

“The promises, Liam! You keep making promises. Can we find another word, please?” That word is grating on me.

“What’s wrong with a promise if I mean it?”

“I’m feeling a little bit scarred by that word. Maybe it has to do with you making me promise not to leave you, and then you left. Or how you promised not to lie to me, and then you did. Are any of those instances ringing a bell for you?”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Consistent actions, not empty promises. I’m working on it, Britain. I am.” I breathe in and out deeply, slowly calming down, but a bit enraged at Tori.

“Do you think there’s some legal action that can be taken against her?” I ask, then look to him.

“If it’s important to you, I’ll hire a lawyer to figure it out. Do you want me to?” Ugh.

“I don’t know that I want to add one more thing to deal with. What’s done is done, I guess.” Liam squeezes my leg.

“Hey,” he says gently, “do you want to have this baby?” Yes. I turn to look at him again.

“I do, but thank you for asking and considering that this might not be what I want. Granted, some of the conditions haven’t been ideal…but we are very lucky, and I know this baby was conceived in love.” Unlike me.

He moves his hand off my leg to reach up and push the hair off my shoulder and away from my face. With his hand clamped around and gently massaging my neck, his thumb strokes my cheek. “Our baby was absolutely conceived in love, Britain.”

Our baby. Hearing him say those words makes me feel something. It’s happiness and excitement, and it’s the first time I’m feeling it for this child. Maybe that makes me a horrible mother, but I needed Liam to make this all right. I just hope to God he does.

“Wait, how did Tori know I was pregnant? Like do I need a restraining order?” Is she stalking me?

“Well, Max was actually the one who told her. He did it on purpose because he wanted her to come tell me. Matt told his brothers not to tell me you were pregnant and–”

I cut Liam off. “Are you being SERIOUS right now?” I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this kind of anger in my life. I’m seething. Matthias prevented Liam from finding out about his child?

Liam eyes me cautiously before he speaks again. “Yeah, Matt told them not to tell me, and Max was trying to be a good brother, but thought I deserved to know. So he did it in a roundabout way. I’m guessing you didn’t know that?”

“NO! Oh my god, Liam. I thought you knew I was pregnant and just wanted nothing to do with me. I was devastated. I even asked Matthias about you, and he said you’d called to let him know about Sonoma, so I assumed you’d checked everything. And that you’d seen my calls and texts and were just done with me. I couldn’t even get out of bed some days it hurt so bad.” My hands are shaking.

“Britain, baby. It’s okay, I’m here now and I’m so sorry there was a time when I wasn’t. It’s not an excuse, but if I’d known about the baby, the hospital, any of it, I would have been back in the blink of an eye, okay? I really thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go.”

“This is a lot, Liam. Can we just not talk the rest of the way home? I need to think.” He breaks out into a huge smile, though. “What, Liam?”

“You called it home, baby.” His smile stays plastered on his face the rest of the way, and we don’t talk again. I just sit with my thoughts. They’re all over the place as I hop from one thought to the next. Tori is insane. Matthias is deceitful. How did she poke a hole in the condoms? Matthias said he’d do anything to make this work — except being supportive and honest. How could he? He had to have known how hard I was taking it all. He fucking saw me at the hospital.

A gentle leg squeeze pulls me out of my mental typhoon.

“We’re almost there. Do you want to stop for coffee? Or head straight home?”

Home. That’s exactly how it feels and that’s exactly where I want to be. I give him a little smile. “Home is good.” This time he threads our fingers together for the last mile.

When we pull up to the house, a car I recognize is parked in the driveway. Carly. I wait for Liam to come open my door, and when I step outside, I inhale. The smell of pines and damp earth grounds me, and I release the tension from our conversation. Liam rubs my back in understanding, and I give him a small smile. I never thought I’d be happy to be back here, but here we are. He takes my purse and his overnight bag to set inside while I wait for the rest of our group.

The girls and Jess pile out of my SUV, but before we can even start unloading, a familiar face greets us, reaching for the bags first.

“Hi, Mrs. Scott. It’s good to see you again.” The young man grabs two huge suitcases at the same time, like they’re filled with air.

“Hi, James! What are you doing here?”

“I came to help out my sister for the day, and she said Mr. Millar could use an extra hand with luggage. So here I am, happy to help. I’ll be back for the rest, so please don’t lift anything.” As he hauls away the suitcases, I notice Jess, Elodie, and Caroline all staring at his backside.

“That’s the James who delivered all my stuff to your house?!” Jess basically shouts. I laugh.

“Yeah, why?”

“He’s hot! Duh!” Jess exclaims. I laugh again.

Elodie and Jess work to get Eden out of her car seat, but I notice Caroline still staring at the door James just walked through. Liam walks back out and he looks so happy. I just smile.

“Alright, girls,” he calls out to us. “James and I will get all the bags. Carly’s serving lunch, come on in.” As if on cue, my stomach rumbles. So I abandon the cars and head for the door.

“Hey, Liam, this is a cool house!” Elodie is staring up at the large modern cabin before her.

“Thanks, Elodie,” Liam says bashfully.

“Just wait till you see the inside, girls, his fireplace is carved from a boulder and there’s a rope swing on the dock outside.” I don’t want to oversell it, but I hope they like this house as much as I do.

“Oh my god, no way!” Elodie exclaims, nearly sprinting into the house. Caroline plays it cooler, though. She just nods her head, but I see her cheeks turn to cherries when James walks through the door just as she’s going in. Jess glances back at me and we exchange knowing looks. I walk past Liam, but he snags my arm, halting me. He pulls me into him, and I know my cheeks probably look just like Caroline’s.

“Bambi,” he starts.

“Yes?”

“I’m going to make you happy, I’m going to take care of you, and I’m going to love you every day.” I wait for the “I promise,” but it doesn’t come. And that makes me smile.

“We’re still not together, though. Just so you know…”

He laughs at me. “I get it, gotta keep your options open.” He releases me with a pat on my ass, and I blush all over again.

When I walk into his house, it’s strange. Everything is new and old, all at the same time. There’s fresh hydrangeas in all the vases and a Trudon candle burning in the foyer. And while it’s just as beautiful as I remember, now there’s the added comfort of home this time. It’s a belonging.

I purposefully avoid looking towards his office as I walk through the great room to find my family in the kitchen with Carly, everyone’s favorite place to be.

“Britain!” Carly exclaims when she sees me. She sets down her whisk to come around the counter for a big hug. “Oh! It’s so good to see you!”

“Hi, Carly! I’m happy to see you, too.” She releases me, giving me her luminous smile, her chestnut eyes shining bright. “Oh, and hey, I met your little brother. He’s such a gentleman!”

She turns bashful. “Aww, thanks. He is, isn't he?”

Jess interjects, “Yes, quite the gentleman. How old is he?” I nudge her with my shoulder and laugh.

“Oh, yeah, he’s 17. Sorry, Jess.” Glad to hear they’ve already made introductions. “Everybody, go sit down, eat! Lunch is on the table!” The girls bound over to the eat-in, but I hang back a moment longer to chat with Carly.

“Liam said you’d be cooking. I didn’t realize we’d get to see you today, but I’m so glad we did.”

“You’re just saying that because you can smell the cake baking…” Carly gives me the side eye with a smile while she keeps whipping cream.

“Maybe…” I reply, returning the smile.

“Well, you’re going to be seeing a lot more of me! Liam hired me full-time for the rest of the summer. So five days a week, I’ll be here to do breakfast, lunch, and dinner!”

“That’s amazing, Carly. We’re so lucky to have you. Honestly, I’ve missed you so much.” She looks at me, probably noting how much weight I’ve lost without her cooking.

“I’ve missed you guys, too. Glad to be back…Now go eat!” I laugh, then sit next to Elodie on the bench.

There’s a family-style spread laid out before us. A greek salad, summer pasta, grilled salmon, and focaccia. And for once I actually want to eat. Jess sits with Eden in her lap, feeding her pieces of bowtie pasta.

“Jess, give me Eden so you can eat.” I hold out my arms to prompt her.

“Nuh uh, girl. You gotta eat first.” I roll my eyes at her, but make myself a plate instead. “James is putting together her high chair right now, anyways. So we’re good. But hey, this is like a really nice cabin.” She uses her one free hand to make air quotes. “As in, I didn’t know cabins could be this nice.”

I laugh at her. “Yeah, Liam designed it himself. It used to be just a basic log cabin, but he re-built the entire thing a couple years ago.”

“Wow, that’s really cool.” Caroline chimes in, surprising me. “Can we go down to the dock after lunch?”

“Definitely, you absolutely can.” God, please let them fall in love with Spearhead, too.

“I’m really starting to see the appeal,” Jess says to me, making me smile.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, gorgeous house, private chef, on the lake, and, bonus, he has a nice ass.”

“Thanks, Jess.” Liam says as he comes to take the seat beside me, dropping a kiss on the side of my head. “Carly! You and James should come eat with us!” he calls out into the kitchen.

After Carly finishes whipping her cream and James brings in Eden’s high chair, we all share an enjoyable family meal. There’s laughter, and teasing, and the food is insanely good. For the first time in months, my cup is starting to feel full. I look at Liam and then at the rest of my family, and I’m in awe. I didn’t know it could be like this, but fuck, I’m so happy it is. Even if it’s just for this moment, I’m going to savor it.

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