CHAPTER NINE

Cat wasn’t sure what she was looking at right now, but she had to admit, it was a welcome distraction. When she’d first come into Fairy Baked this morning, she’d convinced herself she just needed a sugar high. But really, she needed to talk to someone. Someone who wasn’t her best friend.

Speaking to Libby meant worrying Libby. She also knew that she’d have no issue asking a million questions until Cat caved and told her everything. And she wasn’t ready for that. Rachel, on the other hand, the proud owner of the luminous pink bakery she was currently sat in, was a new friend. One with some boundaries. Libby had introduced them as soon as Cat had got into town and they’d hit it off immediately.

The fiery red-head was just her cup of tea. Confident. Loud. And really funny. Except for now. In this moment, she didn’t recognise her new friend. She was shy. Awkward. And was that a blush on her cheeks?

Two minutes ago, Hunter had entered the bakery. Even though Cat had only met him once, briefly, she recognised him instantly. He was a friend of Zach’s, a fellow firefighter. Who looked a lot like the hulk.

The air had charged as soon as the shop bell rang. He’d pretended to peruse the display case, and she’d pretended not to notice him. Looks had been exchanged. But not many words had been muttered. In fact, Cat had only heard Hunter grunt.

There he goes again.

Another grunt.

“Well...uh...enjoy!” Rachel said to the big man as she handed him a huge box of doughnuts.

He gave her one silent nod before giving her his back and disappearing down the terracotta side walk.

“What was that?”

A cherry red ponytail flicked in her direction, giving her a good look at Rachel’s very rosy cheeks. “What do you mean?”

Oh, yeah. Something is definitely up.

“I mean, what was that weird as hell exchange you were having with the big man?”

He looked even bigger next to Rachel, who couldn’t have been any more than five-foot-two or three.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sugar.” Cat lost eye contact as her friend busied herself behind the counter, wiping up invisible spills. “Hunter just came in to pick up his usual doughnut order...for the guys at the fire station.”

Yeah, right. Cat had a feeling that Hunter came in for something, but it had nothing to do with doughnuts.

Cat hummed for a while. “If that’s the story you’re sticking with, honey, then who am I to argue?”

That got her a glare. Her first one from Rachel. She was impressed. She didn’t know the woman had it in her—she was always so chirpy.

“You know, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

Cat rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, we’re back to talking about Cody?”

“Actually, we’re going to start talking about Cody,” her friend corrected. “All you’ve done so far is avoid my questions and brush me off.”

She had done that. Which was silly because Cat wanted to talk about Cody. She just kept chickening out.

Time to start talking.

After breathing out a sigh, she decided to bite the bullet. “Something did happen last night,” she started, but stopped when Rachel finally unbusied herself to give Cat her full attention.

“Sugar, no offence, but when you turn up here in last night’s dress at nine in the morning, I kind of get the feeling I already know what happened last night.”

How rude.

Cat glanced down at her outfit and frowned. To be fair, she’d forgotten she’d come straight from Cody’s to the bakery. She was still in a bit of a daze.

“Yeah, well, that happened. But something else did, too. Something that...I don’t know if I would say I’m embarrassed about exactly, but it’s definitely up there on the humiliation meter.” Cat began picking at her leftover cupcake. Fingering crumbs and then dropping them back into the paper casing.

“Okay. What happened?”

“Promise this doesn’t leave the room?”

She would tell Libby. Eventually. The last thing she needed was her friend hearing it second hand.

“Of course. Cross my heart.” Rachel had gone from sassy to soft in an instant, concern now clouding her bright blue eyes.

“Well, after, y’know...we fell asleep, and then...and then I woke up in the middle of a panic attack. We’re talking like full blown shaking, can’t breathe, actual sobbing kind of panic.”

“Sugar,” her friend whispered as she placed a sympathetic hand straight to her arm, “you poor thing. And Cody? How did he handle it?”

“He was...amazing. Like, truly amazing. He just snapped into action. He helped me control my breathing and calmed me down. Then he held me. And soothed me. And kissed me. But there were no questions. He didn’t push me to talk about it. Didn’t even mention it. Nothing. Should I be worried?”

Rachel slowly pulled her hand back. Confusion written all over her face as she asked, “About what?”

“You know...that the reason he didn’t ask was ‘cos he’s done with me? Too much drama? It was only the second night we’d slept together, and I wake up having a panic attack in his arms! I mean, come on, that’s enough to scare anyone off.” Just thinking about it was making her want to have another panic attack.

Another puzzled expression was thrown her way. “The second night? Do you mean...you two...last Friday?”

Oh yeah. She might have left out the sleeping with him on Friday night part to Rachel. Until now.

“Yeah, we did,” Cat confirmed. “And before you ask, yes that was also amazing. All the times we’ve been together have been amazing. That’s not the problem, the whole freaking out in his bed, in the middle of the night is.”

“Okay, we’ll get back to that later.” Rachel’s hands were becoming just as animated as her now. “First off, don’t overthink what happened. Remember, Cody’s a cop, I doubt you’re the first or the last panic attack he’s witnessed. And as for not asking you questions, I reckon that has more to do with him not wanting to upset you than anything else. You were in a fragile state, the last thing you needed was an interrogation. He’s a smart dude, he would’ve figured that out.”

Cat let out the breath she’d been holding since last night. That’s what she needed to hear. She knew Rachel would have a sensible take on it. And let’s just hope that her friend was right. The thought of scaring Cody off was scaring her. Which was yet another sign she was in too deep, way too soon.

But she still wanted verbal confirmation. Just to be sure. “So, you think I didn’t scare him off?”

“No, sugar. I think it will take a lot more than that to scare off a man like Cody McBride.”

I hope so.

“And the questions thing...do you think he’s just not gonna ask?” She was well aware at how needy she was being right now, but she needed reassurance.

“Personally, I reckon he’s waiting for you to tell him.”

Yes. That made sense. He could have been worried that he would trigger another attack if he probed her too much. She had to explain. Hopefully Rachel was right, and it wasn’t too late.

***

Cat’s hand paused in mid-air. Before she knocked on Cody’s door, she needed one more pep talk.

While she’d been stressing out at Fairy Baked earlier today, Cody had been trying to call her. When she finally pulled out her phone she’d realized, not for the first time, she’d left it on silent. And he’d left her two missed calls and one message.

Cody: I want to cook you dinner, kitten. You free tonight to come hang out with me and Dylan?

Of course, she was free and of course she’d said yes. But that didn’t mean her panic attack wasn’t still fresh in her mind. She’d already decided she was going to talk to Cody about it. But doing and saying were very different things.

Just as she was about to begin her inner ‘you can do this’ speech, the door flung open, a sexy smirk staring back at her.

“You gonna stand out here all day, kitten, or do you wanna come inside and play?”

Good lord, he was still in his uniform. Play. Definitely play.

She didn’t answer though. She was too busy taking in the view. Damn, the man was fine. Even the way those navy pants stretched over his muscly thighs was pure sex.

“You about done checking me out, sweetheart?”

“No,” she answered honestly, taking her time to drag her gaze back up to those caramel colored eyes.

Cody simply barked out a throaty chuckle in reply. Even that gave her goosebumps.

“Cat! Cat! You’re here!” Dylan came running out, only stopping when his shoulder crashed against Cody’s hip.

That snapped her out of her lust-fuelled daze. There was nothing like a small child to kill your sex drive.

Crouching down on the ground, Cat opened her arms to greet him. “Hey, D!”

Dylan fell into her arms, and after a rather half-hearted hug, he ran back inside. Luckily, she didn’t take offence. That seemed to be the nature of their greetings now. Quick hugs. Faster exits.

She’d been back to full height mere seconds before Cody was giving her his own kind of greeting. An almost too gentle kiss while maintaining a gentlemanly, but firm grip on her hips.

It was over too soon. But Cody didn’t move. His head remained dipped even after he’d released her. “How is it possible that no matter how many times I kiss you, it never feels like enough?”

Okay, maybe my libido will come out to play after all.

“Maybe I’m doing it wrong.” Her lips began to tip up.

Cody’s forehead came to rest against her own, giving her another hit of his unique, bergamot laced scent. “Not possible, sweetheart. If anything, it’s too right .”

It was good to know she wasn’t the only one feeling it.

“Dad!” Dylan shrieked from back inside, making them both smile.

“I guess it’s time to eat.” Neither of them made an attempt to move. Cat certainly didn’t want to go anywhere.

“I guess so.”

***

Two hours later, Cody was tucking Dylan in while Cat was exploring the living room. She hadn’t exactly had time to look around last night.

The room was what she’d expected: big comfy leather couches, a man-size wall-mounted television and a permanently hooked up game console. She was currently in the corner of the room scanning the bookshelves.

Other than an array of children’s books and some trinkets, there wasn’t much else. Her eyes naturally went to the photo frames first. But there were no pictures of Ellie. It was odd. Even odder was the fact Cat was dying to see a picture of her. Probably because the unknown had always scared her. She was the kind of woman who needed information upfront before making any sort of decision.

Yeah, because information gathering was definitely at the forefront of your mind when you were tearing the buttons off his shirt. Twice.

“Hey.” Cody’s deep voice had her head whipping around. “You find anything good?”

Busted.

“You mean other than My First Big Book of Space ? No. Not unless pulling on one of these books opens up a secret door?”

Letting out a short laugh, Cody closed the distance between them and took hold of her hand. “How about you just ask me anything you want to know?”

Leading them both to the couch, she was surprised when he pulled them both down and arranged her on his lap.

“This is weird,” she announced, not being able to stop herself. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Sit on my lap?” He chuckled.

“Yes. I mean, no. I mean, yes. All of it. I mean, what is this? Are we dating now? I know I sound super insecure and clingy but that’s the way you’re making me feel and honestly...I’m not used to feeling like this, so I’m freaking out.” Jesus Christ, stop talking. “But at the same time, I know it’s complicated. Not just because of the unconventional way we got together, but there’s also Dylan to think about, too.” She finally took a breath, just in time for the mortification to set in. Back was the word vomit.

She buried her head into Cody’s shoulder. At least this position was good for hiding her shame.

She felt his fingers trail freely up and down her back. “I know it’s a lot. I feel it too. And I know we maybe started off badly and did things in the wrong order, but that doesn’t mean it can’t work.” Lifting her head, she was struck by the sincerity in his stare. “I want this, sweetheart. I’m all in. Don’t doubt that. But you have to understand...Dylan and me, we’re a package deal. You gotta tell me now if that’s something you can handle or not. Because honestly, he’s already getting attached.”

She should tell him now. The truth. There was a child involved; she owed it to him. But the words weren’t coming easily. Or coming at all.

With every second that passed, she could see the disappointment on Cody’s face start to spread.

You can’t run forever.

It was true. She couldn’t. And Dylan wasn’t the only one getting attached.

“Last night.” She blew out a long breath, her gaze drifting down toward her lap. “Why didn’t you ask me any questions about what happened?”

Cody was quick to reply, his tone just as gentle as his caress. “The last thing you needed was me asking you questions, sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have them.”

“Ask me.” Her voice was so quiet she had to chance a glance to check he’d heard her. He had.

“Okay.” He nodded. “I’m gonna assume that wasn’t your first panic attack and ask if you have them often? I’d also like to know if there was something in particular that triggered it?”

Clear. Concise. A fellow information gatherer.

Wriggling in his lap, she began fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. Her eyes were averted still. She needed to concentrate.

“I started getting them three years ago. I’ve never been woken up by one though. That was a fun first. And yes, I know what triggers them.” She swallowed down the bile that had risen and put on her big girl pants. “It’s my dad.”

She went quiet for a moment. And he let her. He gave her what she needed. Time. Reassuring her with the continuing gentle rhythm of strokes up and down her spine.

Finally, she spoke again. “He’s the reason I moved back home when I did. It’s because he got sick. Is sick.”

“Sweetheart.” Concern clouded his eyes.

“Dementia.” She felt her chest tug but soldiered on. “My mum was struggling so I moved back to help. But it’s not the kind of thing that just magically gets better, you know? Six months ago, he had to be put in a home. And three months ago, he stopped recognising me altogether.”

Her voice had gotten too shaky to continue. She needed a break. Cody gave it to her in the form of a bear hug. Wrapping her into a ball of comfort, he rocked them both and planted kisses in her hair. Neither of them said anything. They simply rocked.

When she felt strong enough to carry on, she pulled back. This time, she looked into those pools of honey. “Coming here, it was more than me just wanting to try and reclaim my old life. It was an escape.”

“A temporary one?” She appreciated that he didn’t try to hide his apprehension.

“No, I don’t think so. The plan is to stick around, if that’s what you’re asking.”

The relief she saw in his eyes made her pulse race, but his words were what wrapped around her heart and squeezed. “It’s exactly what I’m asking, sweetheart. I told you, I’m all in. Maybe that makes me crazy, after all it was only two weeks ago that we were just about ready to kill each other, but I don’t care. What I’m feeling is real and I want to be able to take things further, knowing there’s a chance of a future for us.”

“I want that, too,” she whispered.

And she did. She really, really did.

Just don’t fuck it up!

Famous last words.

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