CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Cody was freaking out. He’d been trying to get in touch with Cat since last night and nothing. At first, he thought she was just working. When she got into a book, she could go hours without coming up for air. But that wasn’t it. He knew because he’d driven out to her apartment this morning and there was no answer.
Something was wrong. Very wrong. He felt it in his bones. It was the reason he was on his way over to Libby’s right now and not the station reporting for his shift. Pushing down on the gas, his hands tightened on the wheel, a sinking feeling bottoming out his stomach.
Don’t panic. There could be a perfectly logical explanation.
His phone rang and for a moment he thought he’d managed to wish everything okay and that was Cat calling him back. But one glance confirmed that he was wrong. Libby.
Swiping to speakerphone, a second later, Libby’s shaky voice filled his charger pursuit. “Hi, Cody. Uh, where are you?”
“On my way over to your place. Is she there?”
Silence. That wasn’t a good sign.
“Come on, Libby, spit it out. Where is she?”
“She’s gone,” Libby whispered.
Just when he thought he couldn’t feel any sicker, he was proven wrong.
“Fuck!” he roared, his hand slamming down on his steering wheel. “When? What happened?”
“I think it’s better we talk in person. She left you something. A letter. I have it here.”
Trying to steady his breaths and get himself under control, he nodded to himself. “Okay. I’m just turning onto main. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Okay, Cody. Drive safe.”
He ended the call, returning to silence. Only there was nothing silent about his thoughts. They were going at a million miles an hour. There was only one reason she would go back.
Her dad.
When he eventually pulled into Libby’s drive, she was out front waiting for him, paper in hand.
Slamming his door shut, it only took three strides to get to her. As soon as he did, she passed him a letter with his name scribbled on the front.
He wasn’t ready to read it yet. He already knew what it was. A goodbye letter.
“She wrote me one, too. Did you know...about her dad?” He just nodded. “She never told me.” Libby’s head sagged, tears brimming in her eyes. “Why didn’t she tell me?”
His hand was scrubbing his face now, dragging all the way down to his beard. “You know Cat, she’d rather handle everything herself than burden other people.”
“But I’m her best friend.”
“Yeah, darlin’, you are. And she loves you to death. She’d die a thousand times over than have you worry over her. You know that.”
Libby fell into his arms. Letting his hands go to her back, he took as much comfort as he was giving her. This could not be happening. He hadn’t waited this long to find her only to lose her in the blink of an eye.
“Her dad died.” Libby sniffed into his shirt. Telling him something he’d already guessed. “She said she’s not coming back.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
His heart was beating so wildly, a normal person would be concerned. Now he had to read the goddamn letter. He needed to find out what happened. Where her head was at. And gather as much information as possible.
Slowly drawing back, Libby took a step back and wiped her cheeks.
“I need to read this, darlin’.” He raised the letter he was holding. “Mind if I do that here, so we can talk after?”
“Of course. You wanna come inside?”
Cody shook his head. He had a feeling he needed as much oxygen as he could get.
Libby gave him a nod and retreated back into the house, giving him space.
Taking the letter to the curb, he dropped down until his long legs were outstretched. Pulling out the single piece of paper inside the envelope, his hands shook as he unfolded it.
Dear Cody,
Please don’t be mad at me. I know that sneaking off in the middle of the night doesn’t exactly help my case, but I need you to know that me leaving has nothing to do with you. I love you. So much it scares the fuck out of me. I have a feeling that I’m always going to love you, too. I’ll be like the old lady in the Titanic movie, boring anyone who comes near me with our love story.
Even through all this pain, she’d managed to pull a smile out of him. If only for a second.
Like that old lady, I have to let you go. You and Dylan. Not because I don’t love you. And not because I don’t want to share the piece of wood I’m floating on. But because you deserve more than me. More than what I can give you.
I lied when I told you I’d made peace with losing my dad. I didn’t know I was lying at the time, but I was. You’ve probably figured out by now that he didn’t make it. Instead of accepting the inevitable though, like I thought I would, all the guilt and grief came flooding back.
I need to go home, Cody. I need to be there for my mum. She’s not doing well. She was a mess before I left, but now I honestly don’t know what I’m going to find when I get back there.
It's not fair to ask you to wait for me. Not to mention the fact that you deserve better than an absent girlfriend who swears too much and has panic attacks. You’ve got Dylan to think about. You both deserve more. You deserve the world.
Please say goodbye to Dylan for me. You don’t have to tell him I love him too if you think that will confuse him. But know that I do.
I love you, Cody McBride.
Cat
Moisture clouded his vision, but he didn’t let the tears fall. Instead, he rubbed his eyes and swallowed down the emotion clogging his windpipe. There was no time for that. If Cat thought for one second he would just let her go without a fight, she was wrong.
Pushing up from the cool concrete, he strode with purpose back to the house. Libby had left the door open, so he walked right in and found her in the living room off to the side of the door.
After gesturing him to sit, she nudged over a full cup of coffee that was resting on her glass coffee table. “For you. I thought you might need it.”
“Thank you.” He picked up the mug and took a big sip. “I’m gonna need Cat’s address in Brighton. And any other information you can give me that will help me find her. Funeral information. Jack’s phone number. Everything.”
Libby’s eyes widened. “You’re going to England? You’re going after her?”
He simply nodded. “Yes. I’m going after her.”