Cosmic Castaway (Cosmic Romances #3)

28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

The past can be unpleasant.

A scream tore through the air, and I bolted upright. Bartholomew had rolled away from me in his sleep, and he was writhing on the blankets, sweat covering his exposed skin. Pookie was screeching outside the tent. My wings threatened to flare as I searched for the threat in the darkness, but there was nothing besides us.

“It’s alright, Pookie,” I called out and slid over to Bartholomew, pulling him into my arms. He thrashed, screaming. I rolled on top of my mate, pinning him to the blankets, so he couldn’t hurt himself.

“Flower, I’m right here. You’re safe.” My lips traced gentle kisses over his skin. “I’m here, Mate.”

He jerked beneath me, panting.

I nuzzled his cheek. “It’s alright.”

Bartholomew gripped my back, securing me to him. “Mindy.”

“Flower.”

Panting, he held me even tighter. “Mindy.”

“I’m right here. You’re safe.”

He took deep breaths and squeezed me.

I tried not to put all of my weight on him, as I was significantly heavier than my thin mate, but it was difficult with how tight he held me. I kissed his cheek, and Bartholomew turned, catching my mouth with his. I groaned at the softness of his lips. His legs hooked around me and his fingers buried into my hair. Bartholomew tentatively licked my lips, and I opened for him without hesitation.

His silky tongue slid along mine, and I moaned into his mouth. He swallowed the sound and pressed closer. My tongue twined with his as we slowly kissed. My hands wandered his frame, and Bartholomew arched beneath me.

My cock started to thicken. I drew back, my breath harsh. I needed my mate, but he wasn’t ready. And I was far more concerned about why he’d awoken screaming.

Bartholomew chased my lips, and I stayed out of reach. He asked, “What?”

I licked his neck, and he jolted with a moan. I nipped him, then replied, “Why were you screaming, Flower?”

He turned away, burrowing against me.

Not tonight. I didn’t wish to force the issue, but I needed to know how to help. I’d noticed that he had nightmares frequently, but this was the first time he’d woken up screaming. I hooked my fingers under his chin, making him look at me. In the darkness, I couldn’t see much. The lights were on a low setting, so it wasn’t pitch black, but still, there wasn’t enough to truly see him.

“Please, Teddy. What’s going on?”

A long gust of air escaped from his lips and rushed over my scales, making my cock twitch in desire, which I ignored. He repositioned beneath me and froze. “You seem to be interested in doing something other than talking.”

I bit his neck. “I wish to fuck, but I want to know what’s wrong more.”

“I have bad dreams.”

“About?”

“About what happened on Xome.”

I snuggled my mate close, squishing him with my weight, but he didn’t seem to mind, because he held me as tight as I did him. “I’m here.”

“I know, Honey.”

I paused at the endearment. Honey was a sweet, sticky substance created by a certain type of insect. As Caleb had explained, mates often had pet names or endearments for each other, as we did. And if humans called you something sweet-related, it was good.

My lips trailed over him, trying to ease the tension from him. “Tell me.”

His hand slid under my shirt to stroke my back and side. When he touched my scent gland, I bit back a groan. It felt so good. My hips canted into him as my lips found his neck. I bit and sucked. No. I jerked back. I refused to be distracted.

“Bartholomew.”

He sighed. “What if you don’t like me afterwards?”

I met his gaze. “I will always be here.”

“Promise,” he ordered.

I was more than happy to comply. “I promise.”

However, he hesitated.

“No matter what, Bartholomew, I won’t leave you.”

“Even if I did something unforgivable?”

“Even then.” I brushed his cheek. “Nothing will keep me from your side.”

Bartholomew took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Agk’s was… horrible. Vince and I cleaned the mess left behind from the fights. The trash, vomit, spilled drinks, blood, and the bodies. We would put them in the incinerator.” He fell silent, and I brushed my thumb over his cheek. Bartholomew looked straight at me. “They weren’t always dead.”

My gut fell. “Oh, Mate.”

The words spilled from his mouth of the first time Vince and he had burned a living being alive, and the others that followed. More of the humans and other beings they’d watched die. Tears poured down his cheeks as he shook beneath me. The starvation, the loneliness, the threat of being sold, and the regular abuse from Agk.

More and more came from my mate as he told me of the horrors that had happened to him, and more and more I had the urge to return to Xome and rip Agk to shreds. That xoi had hurt my mate and many others; he deserved to die, and I’d be more than happy to assist with that.

When Bartholomew fell silent, shaking beneath me, I kissed his neck. “Oh, Flower.” I wanted to apologize, but that wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

“I killed them. More than one. I killed them. It was me or them, and I killed them. I stood by and let people die or pushed them along. I was the one who locked the door every single time so Vince wouldn’t be tainted by murder. I did it time and time again. No matter their tears, no matter how much they begged, no matter how sick it made me. I can still hear the thud the bolt made and the screams,” he said, crying. “You wouldn’t have done that. You would have fought. I killed them all, and I feel so damn guilty. Ghosts haunt me, Mindy. Every second of every day. I don’t know why I’m alive and they’re not.”

“You did not kill them,” I said, grabbing his chin.

“I did,” he sobbed, shaking. “Now you hate me, and you should. I didn’t deserve saving, Mindy. You should have left me behind.”

“No, Mate. No, to all of it. It was not your fault, I still care about you, and you most certainly deserved to be rescued. You survived, Bartholomew. Agk killed them. He bought them and made them fight. He made you burn them. If you had said no, you would’ve died. It was not your fault.”

“I killed them.”

My words alone wouldn’t absolve him of the guilt he carried, but I repeated, “No, Bartholomew. You survived, and that is not your fault.”

“I wish I didn’t.”

“Oh, my Mate.” I kissed his cheek. “I’m glad you survived. I’m glad you are right here in my arms.”

“Even with the ghosts haunting me?”

While I doubted any ghosts truly followed my mate—and when my brothers found us, I could have Zoltilvoxfyn check—I didn’t care if hundreds stalked him. I said, “Even then.”

His arms wrapped around me as he burrowed into me. “Do you still want me?”

“I will always want you. That will never change.” His past would never turn me from his side. Bartholomew had survived, and I was grateful for it, though I wished he’d never had this happen to him. “I will never leave you. Not ever.”

“Stay here,” he muttered, voice heavy. “Right here.”

“I will. Sleep, my Mate. I will guard you.”

It did not take long for his breath to even into a steady rhythm. I was still on top of Bartholomew and his legs were loosely hooked over the backs of my knees. His warm breath rushed over my scales, and I swallowed a moan at the tingles it created. I took a deep inhale of his earthy scent.

“Oh, my Mate,” I whispered, lips brushing his skin. “I will keep you safe. I will make sure life is easy and slow, so you can smell the flowers. I promise.”

He grunted.

With a soft smile, I started to lift myself off him, but Bartholomew gripped my shirt in tight fists, muttering. I rested my weight on him again, and he quieted, grasp loosening. Grinning, I nuzzled him to spread even more of my scent. Bartholomew liked me—it was obvious in how he took great care of me—but it was more than that. He needed me; his clinging proved it.

“Don’t worry, Flower. I will never leave.” My lips trailed over the sparse hair on his cheeks and chin. I loved it. I hoped when we were rescued that he wouldn’t get rid of it. My tongue ran along the line of his jaw, and Bartholomew grunted, his legs tightening around me.

Warmth bloomed in my stomach and spread to my limbs, flooding me. My soul skittered as I stared at Bartholomew beneath me. Mine. He was mine. That was something I knew, but this new all-consuming heat was something else; something far softer and much more potent.

Pressing my lips against his temple, I groaned. “Bartholomew, I love you. I love you so much.”

He grunted.

I smiled at the snore that escaped him. I would tell my adorable mate how I felt and soon, but for now, I would bask in his presence.