Crashing Hearts (Pine Valley College #2)

43. Bones

CHAPTER 43

BONES

I crawl into Skylar’s bed and bow my head in shame and resentment. Seeing Aro again only rubbed salt into the wound that never healed. It just scabbed over, but he ripped it open and exposed it again, and now I’m an open, bleeding wound once more. This time, I don’t know how I’ll ever heal from it.

I sink into that darkness that has plagued me since the night he left me.

The truth is, I embraced the depression and loneliness because it was easier to wallow in that pit. It was easier to hurt than to move on. There was even a certain beauty to the loneliness and agony I surrounded myself with, and it was easier to be broken than to risk falling again.

Deep down, I crave relationships, love, and intimacy, but it terrifies me because it means someone has the ability to hurt me again. After Aro, I pretended I didn’t want it, that it wasn’t important, and I filled my life with everything else to drown out that voice. I pretended so hard, I started to believe it until I met Skylar.

I’m scared to show anyone the real me, good and bad, because what if my deepest fear is true and I’m unlovable? I must be, since he left, and so easily . . . .

“I’m here.” Skylar’s arms wrap around me, and he holds me in the dark, anchoring me to this world, even as I grieve for another.

“Why did he leave if he loved me?”

I don’t even realize I said it out loud until Sky sighs. “I can’t answer for him, but for me? I could never leave you. It would destroy me. You aren’t easy to leave, Bones. You’re easy to love. Fuck him and fuck your dad. They hurt you, but don’t let them win, baby. Don’t give them what they want. You’re stronger than that.”

He’s wrong. I’m not.

I thought I knew everything, and now everything is a mess.

The boy I loved left me.

The man I hate made him.

My father tried to make Skylar . . .

“How much did he offer you?” I croak.

“Not ever enough,” he murmurs.

“Why not? Get some money and be free of me. Seems like a win-win,” I reply.

“I don’t need money. All I need is you.” He turns me and presses his forehead to mine in the dark. “I can’t change what’s been done, and truthfully, I wouldn’t.” I flinch, but he holds me tighter. “Because it brought us together. It brought you to me, and you are the best part of my life, angel. Maybe that makes me a jerk, but you have to know I’m not like him. I’m not going anywhere. I love you so much. I would give anything to stop this pain, but I’m right here with you, and it’s where I’ll stay forever.”

I stare into his eyes and question everything I know.

Aro looked me in the eyes, lied, said he loved me, and then left, so why can’t Skylar do the same thing?

What if I’m just an idiot? What if I gave my heart to another, just for him to break it?

What if Skylar Warren will grow tired of me one day and leave, just like everyone else?

“I see you spiraling and trying to find an excuse to push me away, but it won’t work, angel.” He grips my chin. “Try it, I dare you. You’re hurting, but closing yourself off won’t make it better. You just have to feel it, baby. You can’t run or hide from it this time. Just feel it, feel it all. I’m right here.”

I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let me. He forces me to meet it head-on, and the avalanche of pain flows through me once more.

I have been running from it for so long.

I broke and changed my body and hardened my life, but it was always just there, waiting for me to notice it.

A sob rips from my chest and I throw myself at him. He holds me, rubbing my back as I cry and let out years of heartache.

I really let myself feel for the first time in years.

I am so tired of crying and letting my past haunt me.

I’m so tired of being strong.

I let it all go in Sky’s arms, knowing he will be there to catch me.

It isn’t fair of me to ask him to help me through my heartbreak over someone else, but he doesn’t seem to care, and I can’t let him go.

“That’s it, angel, let go. I’m right here. I’m right here with you. It’s okay. Let it all out,” he murmurs as his grip tightens.

He holds me as I grieve like I should have done back then.

He’s right. I closed down and tried to not feel, but it all comes back, and he holds me through it.

I’m not easy to love, and I’m not worth all this pain, but Skylar Warren doesn’t care, and I can’t bring myself to prove him wrong because the truth is . . .

I don’t want to live without him.

When I was hurting, he was the first person I thought of.

My safe harbor, my home, and his arms were all I wanted.

Even now, he’s the only one I want here.

I don’t know how long we lie like this, but my tears dry and my heart settles into a dull ache, yet I still cling to him.

Licking my lips, I force my swollen eyes open and meet his. I must look like shit, but he smiles, and his eyes sweep over my face like I’m the most perfect thing in the world.

“I love you,” I whisper. “I don’t want to break up. I don’t want to lose you. I was just scared.”

“I know, angel. I know.” He smiles as he kisses the tip of my nose and then both of my eyes, but I want more. I want to feel his lips on mine.

I roll us and kiss him. My lips are salty because of my tears, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

Leaning back, I tug my shirt up as he watches me. “Angel?—”

“Stop, I need this. I need you. I need you to make me feel alive. I need you to replace today. I need you to remind me you love me. Please, Sky, make me forget.” I’ll beg him if I need to.

I should have known he would never deny me. Sitting, he slides his hands up my back and tugs me closer. “Anything you want, angel. I’m yours. Let me show you.”

His lips meet mine in a soft kiss before he tugs my shirt up. His lips brush across my cheeks and up, then he kisses each of my eyes closed as he lays me back and pulls my pants off. When I open my eyes again, he’s above me, stripping off his clothes. Sky arches over me, kissing down my neck as I moan. I focus on the way his hands hold me obsessively, the slide of his skin against mine, and his tongue darting out to lick my nipple before sliding down my abs.

All of the sensations drive me out of my mind, and I can’t think about anything else but him. His hands glide up my thighs, and he throws them over his shoulders as I open my eyes. My lips part to speak, but I groan as his tongue dips inside my ass and circles it. He eats me with long, sure strokes that have me fisting the bedding and arching up. My cock leaks and jerks, begging for attention, and my whole body quivers with pleasure.

“Sky,” I beg.

He kisses my ass once more before sitting up. My thighs drop to his waist, and I wrap them around him as he smiles at me. “I’ve got you, baby,” he says as I feel his hard cock press against my ass. He slowly pushes inside me with a soft stroke, stretching my ass before pulling out. Reaching up, I grip his shoulders, digging my nails in as I arch, pulling him deeper inside me. His lips slide down my neck before he sucks my skin, pleasure zipping through me until I push down, taking all of him.

When he starts to move, my cries fill the air. His confident, hard strokes push me up the bed as he fucks me. The pleasure rolls through me like fog, obscuring anything but him and his touch as I reach up and turn his head, kissing him.

Maybe it’s not the healthiest outlet, but I don’t care.

I find heaven in his arms. I find sanctuary in his kiss. I find healing within his touch.

I want his hands to replace all the others that have been on my body.

I want his kiss to be the only one I ever taste.

I might have given my heart to another before, but not in the way I gave it to Skylar. I loved Aro as a child, but I love Skylar as a man.

“I love you,” I rasp into his skin as he bites my neck and fucks me. Our skin slides together and sweat drips down me as my cock jerks between us.

“I love you too, angel,” he murmurs. “Use me as much as you need to. I’ll be right here every time to wipe your tears and turn your sobs into screams.”

I start to smile, but it morphs into a cry as he tilts my hips up and hits that spot that drives me crazy. My beautiful boy watches as I come apart, shattering in his arms with a scream just like he promised.

His thrusts speed up as I ride my orgasm, and then he stills with a groan, pumping me full of his hot release. Collapsing on top of me, he rains kisses across my skin as I wrap myself around him, panting but happy. The pain seems far away, like nothing can touch me while I’m in his arms.

I know Sky is right. I needed to break in order to heal so I can move on.

Aro is my past, but Skylar is my future, and I am not wasting one more second of it.