Crashing Hearts (Pine Valley College #2)

42. Skylar

CHAPTER 42

SKYLAR

I stare down at Bones, terrified and confused, as he presses his face to my chest, holding me so tightly it hurts. Glancing up, I meet Alek’s and Evan’s worried gazes. Evan shrugs, and I nod as they walk back to their car, leaving me to deal with it. I’ll have to thank them for bringing him to me. I don’t know what happened, but he’s safe, and that’s all that matters.

“Hey,” I coo softly as I pry his face from my chest. Tears glisten in his eyes. “Talk to me, angel. What’s wrong?”

His pain morphs into fury as he stares at me. “How could he do it? Why? How?” As he speaks, his voice gets angrier, and his hands slap my chest. I stagger back under the force of his blows before rooting myself in place. My brows draw together as I search for answers I don’t have.

I look into his eyes, and I see so much rage, but where there is fury, there is always pain, so I let him lash me with his words and his fists until he slows. The anger ebbs into exhausted agony, and when he crumples, I catch him. His tear-stained face turns to me, pale and ruined. “Why aren’t I enough?” he whispers.

“Shh, you are enough,” I murmur as I kiss his head. “Tell me who hurt you, angel, and I’ll make them pay. Tell me what happened so I can make it right.”

“Aro,” he croaks. “The boy I loved . . . he’s back. He isn’t dead. He just left me all those years ago. No goodbye, no excuse. He just left.” He looks at me. “I loved him, Sky. I loved him so much, and I thought the worst happened all these years, but he just—” He hiccups. “Left like I didn’t matter at all. He left me.”

“Oh, angel.” I tug him into my arms and hold him tighter.

Nothing I say will make this right. I know how much he struggled with never knowing, with the grief and loss of his first love. He pushed everyone away because of it, scared to care again. He shaped his life around the hole Aro left, but for his ex, Bones was simply someone to toss away.

How anyone could ever hurt my boy or leave him is beyond me, but I hold him as he grieves for the answers he always wanted but probably resents now.

In some ways, it might be easier if he were dead.

We stand there, locked together as he breaks. I don’t care about anything else. I just hold my boy as he tries to put his heart back together.

He’s quiet in my arms until he suddenly steps back, wiping at his face, and eyes me. “Let’s break up.”

Those three words crush my heart, but I refuse to give them roots and let them grow. He’s hurting and lashing out. He’s closing down to protect himself. It’s Bones’s defense mechanism—hurt them before they hurt you.

Well, it won’t work on me.

For the first time in my life, I’m genuinely afraid of losing something. Oh, I survived because I had to, because giving up and dying was too easy, but I never really had a reason to fear death. Now I do. I’m terrified all the time because I never want to break his heart. I never want to leave him alone again, so I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure he feels safe and secure. I’ll be scared enough for both of us

“No,” I state softly as I step closer. He retreats a step, so I stop moving. “Never. Hit me, kick me, bite me, scream, cry, do whatever you need to, but I’m not letting you go.”

“Skylar,” he whispers. His expression is cold, but his eyes scream at me not to let him go, to love him and never leave him. “I didn’t realize it until now, but honestly, the only reason I’m still alive is spite—spite for the boy who left, and spite for my father who hates me. I want to hurt him and make him pay every day I’m alive. I want to be a reminder of the thing he lost and can never control. Don’t you see, Skylar? I can’t love you. There’s no room for that.”

I see him building his defenses, trying to reason out why I shouldn’t be with him, but it doesn’t matter to me.

“That’s fine. It doesn’t mean I can’t love you though.” I take his hands as he stares at me. My poor, lost boy is searching desperately for land to hold on to. He thinks pushing me away is the answer, but he’s an idiot if he thinks I will ever let him go.

“And you’re happy with that? With loving someone who will never love you back the way you love him? Being his second or third or even fourth priority? Nobody would be. Don’t fool yourself, Skylar. You might love me now, but it will soon turn to hate, just like the love did in me. I’m rotten to the core. I’m not worth it.”

“I say you are. I say you’re worth every bruise, hurt feeling, and sleepless night. You’re worth it all. Look into my eyes and tell me I’m wrong. Look into my eyes and see yourself the way I see you, my beautifully flawed man. I don’t love your perfection. I love the man before me. I love the man who loves so deeply, he’s willing to spend his entire life getting revenge. I love you, and I’m not letting you go. I will never leave you, not like him. I will never use or hurt you like your father. I love you with everything in me, and I will spend the rest of our lives proving it,” I promise.

His eyes are wide as he watches me. “What if I’m not worth it?”

“You don’t get to decide that. It’s my life and my heart, so I get to choose whom I hand it to, and I choose you every single time.” I press my forehead against his. “He hurt you and destroyed your life once. Don’t let him again. I’m sorry he left you, baby. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I wish I could take the pain for you, but I can’t. I will, however, piece you back together. It’s me and you, don’t you see that?”

“I loved him,” he whispers.

“I know,” I murmur, and I ignore the pain it causes me. I know he loved him, and I hate my own insecurities at the moment, but this isn’t about me—it’s about him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He nods, tears sliding down his cheeks, and I kiss them away. He closes his eyes for a moment, and when they reopen, they are a little brighter, and I know he’s going to be okay. “Take me home?”

“Of course,” I murmur.

Bones is finally asleep. He cried for hours and refused to eat. I managed to get some water in him, clean his face, and change his clothes. He hugged me tightly as he fell asleep, as if he were afraid I would disappear. I know it will take time to prove that I won’t, but I’m willing to put in the work.

My phone rings, and I know who it is without looking. Sliding from the bed, I grab it and head to the other room, not wanting to give Bones another reason to be worried or, worse, use it as another excuse to push me away.

“Noah,” I greet.

“Warren, you better have a good fucking excuse for skipping that race.” He’s furious. I don’t blame him. I missed a practice race—yes, practice, but it took a long time to set up and was part of the plan to prove to everyone we aren’t afraid. I don’t care though. Bones always comes first.

“My boy needed me,” I tell him, refusing to lie.

“Goddammit.” The phone is pulled away, and I hear him swear before he comes back, panting and angrier than I’ve ever heard him. “This was important, Skylar. You promised me when you joined to put this first.”

“He will always come first,” I reply without hesitation. “Always, but I’m sorry I let you down.”

“Fuck, Warren!” Noah snaps. “You’d give up your entire future for him?”

“No, don’t you see? He is my future.” I glance back at the bedroom. “As long as we are together, that’s all that matters. He is all that matters. I love racing, I love my job and you’re my family, but he’s my everything. The one thing I can’t do is live without him.”

He’s quiet for a moment, and then he groans. “It’s like you lost your sanity when you met your boy.”

I can’t help but grin, and I know Noah will forgive me. He understands where we stand now. If he asked me to choose, I would always choose Bones.

“It’s bold of you to assume I had any sanity to begin with.”

He scoffs, and I know he’s calming down. “Fine, fucking fine. Look after your boy, but you will be back here in the morning, and you’ll pay for missing the race, you hear me? You miss another one and you’re gone.” He pauses. “I hope he’s okay.”

He hangs up before I can say anything, but I smile, knowing he’ll get over it.

A noise in the hall makes me frown, and I stride over to the door and peer out, seeing someone’s back as he raises his hand and knocks on Bones’s door again. I open mine, and he turns to glance back at me.

His hair is light blond and pushed back, and he has deep brown eyes, a tan complexion, and a muscular body, even if he’s slightly skinny. He’s good-looking.

“Why the fuck are you knocking on my boyfriend’s door in the middle of the night?” I snap, crossing my arms.

“Boyfriend?” His eyes widen as he looks me over. “This is Silas Townsend’s place, right?”

My eyes narrow as I run my eyes over him, and then it clicks. He’s older, but it’s the guy from the Polaroid Bones keeps—the one he tore up earlier and I secretly, meticulously put back together. I might hate this man, but I know he’s important to Bones’s past, and I didn’t want him to regret choices he made in anger. This is the bastard who hurt my boy, though, and I can’t let that pass.

Stepping out, I pull the door almost fully shut so it doesn’t wake Bones. He steps back, looking fearful as he watches me.

“It’s you, isn’t it? The asshole who left him.” His eyes widen. “You’re the one who hurt my boy.”

“Your boy?” He eyes me worriedly. “I didn’t know he was dating anyone.”

“That doesn’t matter, does it?” I block his path to my apartment.

This man might have had him before, but he let him go. He’s an idiot.

“I just wanted to see him,” he admits sheepishly. “He looked upset earlier. I wanted to make sure he’s okay.”

“You think he will be okay when his first love randomly appears back in his life after disappearing without a trace, making him believe he was killed or worse?” I laugh, and he flinches. “You’re a fucking dumbass, something I already knew since you left him, but still.”

“I made a mistake. I want to make it right,” he murmurs, his cheeks heating.

“Then why now? Why did you come back now? You didn’t care about leaving him five years ago, so why do you suddenly?” I stare into his shifty eyes and it clicks. “His father called you, didn’t he?” I scoff bitterly. “What, did he think you showing up would make Bones leave me?”

Maybe that’s my own fear talking.

“Tell me.” I step closer. “How much money did his dad give you to leave him alone?”

He swallows, turning pale. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do. You knew exactly where he would be and where to wait. You haven’t been in his life for years, so how did you know? You know his apartment, and you conveniently arrived after I turned his father down. How much did Declan Townsend give you to break his son’s heart?”

He glances over my shoulder, his eyes widening, and I turn to see Bones standing in the doorway, looking between us in horror.

“Angel,” I begin, but he steps out and stares down at Aro.

“What?” Bones snaps. “Tell me he’s wrong. Tell me my father didn’t pay you to leave then or to come back now.”

He remains silent, his eyes imploring Bones to give him a chance and not ask that.

“I’m not, am I?” I look at Aro when he refuses to answer. Maybe I shouldn’t get involved, but damn this asshole for breaking Bones’s heart and then trying to rub it in once more. “I know because his father offered money to me too. He wanted me to leave Bones and never come back. How much money did he give you? How much did you sell your love and Bones’s trust for? Was it worth it?”

I feel Bones staring at me, and I’ll tell him the details later, but right now he deserves the truth. “Tell him,” I demand.

“Yes, okay? He paid me!” He stares at Bones, words tumbling from his mouth. “I was a kid, and I made a mistake. I was scared and didn’t see a way out?—”

“We had a way out!” Bones shouts. “But you left me. You broke my heart and left me wondering for years, unable to move on or even grieve. You were a kid, but you weren’t stupid. You knew what you were doing.” He pauses, his chest heaving, and I hate the pain in his gaze. “How much was my love worth?” Bones asks. “I hope you got a lot, since he’s loaded . . . . Might as well make it worth your while.”

“Si—”

“Do not fucking call me that!” he roars. “My name is Bones. Bones. Not Si, not Silas. Bones. You also don’t get to call me any of that. How much did he give you?”

They stare each other down, and I slide my hand down Bones’s back, offering him my strength since I know he’s hurting right now. He doesn’t push me away, which I’m grateful for, but I see his ex eye that touch, and something flashes in his gaze.

Jealousy? Envy?

It doesn’t matter.

“Two million,” he admits.

Bones laughs, the sound bitter. “Two million to break my heart? I don’t know if I should be flattered or annoyed.”

“You should have asked for more.” I smirk. “He’s worth it, and we both know it.” Bones elbows me, but I just grin.

“You’re a weak man,” Bones tells him. “I can’t believe I ever loved you.” I watch the man flinch, and I feel a little bad for him before I remember what he did to the person I love. “You aren’t even worth this.”

“For what it’s worth, I really did love you, Si.” He reaches for Bones, but I hold out my arm, blocking him from touching him.

“It’s worth nothing. You sold yourself and ruined everything we had. I hope it was worth it.” He storms back inside, and I watch him go before turning my eyes to Aro.

“If you ever come back here, I’ll kill you,” I warn him, meaning it. “I don’t care what he tells you or pays you—do not come near my boy again.”

“He won’t let you win, you know?” Aro murmurs. “It’s what I realized that night. I didn’t stand a chance. He was going to get his way no matter what, make him hate me, so I took the money and left.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. It’s Declan Townsend who doesn’t stand a chance against me. I’m not weak, not like you. He won’t break us or turn us.”

“You’ll see. He always gets his way.”

“I should thank you. If you didn’t leave, I never would have met him, never would have fallen in love with him. Your mistake is my everything, so no, he won’t get his way. Not this time. Go back to wherever you ran to.” I wait for him to leave, and then I head inside after my boy, ready to piece his heart back together again.

I’ll spend my life doing it.