Crazy Imperfect Hearts

Chapter Thirty-two

Regan

Lucas rolls off me, our bodies slick with sweat. “You’re really making up for lost time, aren’t you?”

Suddenly embarrassed that I’ve shown up unannounced for the fifth time in two weeks, I pull the covers over me. “I’m sorry. I know I’m probably being a big inconvenience.”

He laughs and perches on an elbow. “Do you see me complaining? Every time just gets more incredible.” He touches one of my ultra-sensitive nipples through the sheet. “I’ve never seen a woman come by nipple stimulation alone. That was seriously crazy.”

“You’re telling me. Three months ago I couldn’t orgasm to save my life. Now you practically look at me and I do.”

He eyes me strangely. “I’m just curious. And this is purely for research. But do you almost come when other guys look at you?”

“Other guys aren’t exactly looking at me, Lucas.”

“Oh, they are. You just don’t realize it.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh, you mean the way women look at you?”

“In case you missed the memo, women in this town are staying far, far away from me.”

“Not that reporter lady, the one who keeps trying to get an interview with you. She definitely looks at you with fuck-me eyes.”

He chuckles and leans over to take a sip of water from the bottle on his nightstand.

While staring at his back, I feel a strange twinge deep inside me. For a moment—just one brief second—I wonder if that feeling is jealousy. I shake it away as quickly as it came. Because that’s ridiculous. Anything I’m feeling right now would simply be a product of my hormones.

I start to get up but realize I’m sore in places I didn’t even know had muscles.

“I don’t think I can move,” I say, resting my head against a pillow.

“Then stay.” He clears his throat, and I could swear he mumbles, “Bad idea, Montana,” right before taking another drink.

“Stay?” I bring a hand to cover my heart in mockery. “And violate our contract with a forbidden overnight visit?”

I’m joking. But internally, something shifts. Would I want to stay?

Maybe morning sex with Lucas wouldn’t be the worst thing. But it’s an epically bad idea on so many levels.

“I wouldn’t want to have to explain myself to Ryder. Speaking of which, did you know he’s trying to clean up my ledgers? I think you and he are cut from the same cloth. He’s much more organized than I am. How we share the same DNA surprises me.”

“He’s always had a good head for business. I knew that about him even back in college.”

I turn on my side and face him. “You should stop sending me stuff. It’s getting harder to explain it to him. He knows I don’t make a ton of profit at the shop.”

“I’m just trying to make sure my kid is eating healthy.”

I rub my belly. “I’m getting all my fruits and veggies. I’m eating so well I’ve actually lost weight instead of gaining.”

Shocked, he rises back up on an elbow. “Regan, that’s not healthy.”

“It’s perfectly fine. I’ve talked about it with Dr. Russo. I’m not losing weight on purpose. I’m just eating better. And then with all the morning sickness I had, and growing a baby burns extra calories.” I pat his hand. “Don’t worry, I’m sure the weight will come back soon enough.”

He traps my hand. “Promise me you’re taking care of him. M&M is counting on you. I’m counting on you.”

There’s deep concern in his eyes. And there’s something else. Love . He’s already acting like a father. He’s protecting his child.

“I promise I’m doing everything I can to keep us both healthy.”

He nods in relief. “Good.”

His hand falls away from mine and I swallow at the brief moment of emptiness I feel. Then I curse my hormones.

“Do you know I offered Ryder a job at the winery?”

I shift in bed. “Really? He didn’t say anything.”

“Probably because he turned me down.”

“Why would he do that? I know he’s been trying to figure his shit out while he waits for the divorce to go through, but why not make some money in the meantime?”

Lucas shrugs. “He says he has a plan and he’s trying to come up with a way to make it happen.”

“Plan? For what?”

“He wouldn’t say.”

“And I can’t ask.” I lean into the pillow and stare at the ceiling. “Otherwise he’d know you and I are talking.”

“We should tell him. Isn’t it safe to tell people now?”

“Now? Are you crazy? Now is most definitely not the time.”

“Why not?”

“Why not?” I motion to the bed. “Because of this.”

“This?”

“You and me. Sleeping together. I was going to tell Maddie and Ava weeks ago, but then this happened.” I sit up, pulling a blanket around me. “Explaining having a kid and co-parenting with a friend is one thing.” I wave my hand around. “If they found out about this, I’d be the laughingstock. The desperate hormonal single pregnant lady.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

I shoot him a hard, challenging stare.

“Okay, so maybe there would be some gossip about how fucked up this situation is.”

“Some? Lucas, the whole town will salivate over this. No, we need to wait.”

“Until?”

“Until this passes. Until I’m not so flippin’ horny all the time and sneaking over here for bootie calls.” I glance at the soiled mattress between us. “Until this ends.”

He sighs. He sighs big time. I can practically see disappointment ooze from him.

I’m just trying to figure out if he’s upset that I’ll eventually cut off the gravy train, or if he’s frustrated about my hesitancy to tell people.

“Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to be further along. Just in case.”

He sits up, a sheet around his lower half, and scoots next to me. “You’re still worried about miscarriage?”

“No.” I shrug. “Yes.” I sigh. “I don’t know.”

But what I don’t tell him is that’s not my only worry. I don’t tell him that over the last few minutes I’ve now added to the list of things I have to worry about.

And when I look up and into his chocolate brown eyes, the twinge in my gut becomes a knot. Because I now know that what sits at the top of the list—my number one concern—is this unfamiliar feeling in my heart.