Chapter Thirty-three
Lucas
I swipe my phone back from Dallas when the waitress at the pub comes to take our order.
Both my brothers snicker loudly after she’s gone.
“You really expect to keep this under wraps for how long?” Blake asks.
My eyes are glued to my phone as I stare at one of the pictures from the anatomy scan done earlier today. My kid. My son. All the parts of him are there. Everything measured exactly how it should have. We even saw him moving, which was all kinds of relief for Regan considering she hasn’t felt him kick yet.
“I told you,” I whisper. “She doesn’t want it coming out while we’re sleeping together.”
“And that’s going to end when?” Dallas asks, amused.
I look away. “Whenever she says it does.”
“Damn.” Blake whistles softly. “You’ve really got it bad, brother. And she doesn’t even suspect?”
I shake my head. “I’m not going to ruin what we have because of my one-sided feelings.”
Dallas’s brow lifts. “You mean you don’t want her taking away the milk.”
“It is so not that,” I say with a biting stare. “If I tell her, she’ll pull away completely, and who knows, I may not even be invited to the birth. When we’re together, she acts like we’re best friends or something. Best friends who scratch each other’s itches. If I go and ruin what she thinks we have—this amazing co-parenting relationship that comes with zero strings—it could change everything.”
“So you’re just going to spend the rest of your life pining for the mother of your kid?” Blake asks.
“I don’t know.” I throw my hands in the air. “I don’t fucking know, okay?” I stare back down at the photo.
“What don’t you know?”
My heart races as I look up at my sister. I hadn’t even realized Allie was here. She scoots in next to me, pushing me over, and grabs my phone. Before I can take it away from her, her eyes bulge. “Lucas! Oh, my god, who’s ultrasound is this?”
I stiffen and crane my neck around to see if anyone heard. “Would you shut up,” I hiss.
“Wait.” She covers her mouth in surprise. “Is this… your baby?”
My mind spins trying to come up with some reason— any reason—why I’d have an ultrasound photo on my phone. But there isn’t one.
Blake and Dallas both cock their heads in amusement. They know I’m backed into a corner.
“You cannot tell anyone ,” I whisper between gritted teeth. “Not even Mia. Swear it.”
“Oh, come on. Mia can keep a secret.”
I cringe. “She was the first one to blab about Denise leaving Carter and Christian.”
“She was a teenager. All teenagers gossip.”
“That wasn’t gossip. That was spilling the beans on a family secret.”
Allie looks down at the table. “Lucas, believe me, she can keep a secret.”
Something about the way she says it has me believing her. Like maybe Mia has kept a secret. For her . “Does this have anything to do with your fuck-buddy boyfriend?”
“His name is Asher. And he’s not my boyfriend. But no. Nothing to do with that.”
Oh, it’s something. I can tell. But I don’t push her, because I’m about to tell her my secret. “Don’t tell her, Al. It’s just for a little while, okay?”
“Fine,” she huffs. Then she looks across the table. “Why don’t the two of you look surprised?” Her hands go to her hips, elbows out in consternation, and she glares at me. “They already know?”
I shrug.
“Since when did the three of you become a boys’ club with no girls allowed?”
“Since I know they can most definitely keep a secret.”
“Says who?”
“Allie, they’ve known about this for four months. If they’d told anyone, everyone would have heard about it by now.”
Her mouth opens so wide she could catch flies. “Four months?” She takes my phone again, and when the lock screen appears, she shoves it close to my face to unlock it. Then she studies the picture, tracing the baby’s head with a finger.
“Next week will be halfway. Twenty weeks.”
She uses her thumb and forefinger to zoom in on the photo. I know what she’s doing, but she won’t find it. When I took pictures of the photos, I made sure to exclude the name across the top. Then again, maybe she’s looking for a penis. Or the lack of one.
“Who is she? When is she due? Is she from around here? Is the baby a boy or a girl?”
I answer the easiest question first. “It’s a boy. See?” I take the phone and page through the photos until I find the penis-between-the-legs one. “He’s due in March.”
Her brow furrows. “A boy?”
She looks sad. Why would she be sad that it’s a boy?
“Is he okay?” she asks. “I mean, did you have all the genetic testing and stuff?”
I’m surprised she’s choosing to grill me over the baby and not the baby’s mom.
“We’ve had all the testing. He’s fine. This is the anatomy scan. We had it today. Everything is right on track.”
She sighs, looking relieved. I find it strange that she’d be so worried.
“So, whose is it?” She claps, bouncing in her seat. “Oh please tell me it’s someone I know. I love a good messy situation.”
“It is.” I shake my head. “Both messy and someone you know.”
More clapping. “And you said ‘we’ had the testing done. Are you secretly a couple? What’s the story?”
“Allie.” I glance around again. “Would you keep your voice down?”
“Sorry. I’m just so excited I’m going to be an auntie again.”
The waitress brings our food and we fall silent. Four pairs of eyes wait for her to leave. She looks at us strangely and says, “Hey, Allie. Do you want anything?”
Allie grabs one of my fries. “No thanks, Marci. My brothers like to share.” She rolls her eyes. “Except when it comes to secrets that is.”
I kick her foot under the table. “Thanks, Marci. I think we’re good.” Marci leaves and I glare at Allie. “ That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Relax. It’s not like I’m going to tell her the secret. Jeez.” She crosses her heart. “I promise I won’t tell a living soul, including Mia. Okay? Now come on, are you going to make me guess?”
I sit back. “Well, that might be fun. Who would you guess?”
She chuckles. Then she thinks on it. “Ava Criss?”
“What? No. She’s married.”
“And she and Trevor have been trying to have a baby like forever. I figured maybe they talked you into knocking her up or something.”
I huff out several incredulous breaths, because damn… she did hit it a little close.
“Nancy Leonard?”
“Nancy? I didn’t even know she was in town.”
She nods. “Her husband had an affair. She came back early this year. She’s been lying low.”
“It’s not her.”
“Can we be done with this game?” she asks, stealing more fries.
I lower my voice even more. “It’s Regan.”
Allie blinks repeatedly, then shouts, “Lucas?”
Thank god nobody would think anything of her shouting my name. “Jesus, Al.”
“Sorry.” She smashes her lips together, then whispers, “Lucas?”
“Do you know any other Regans?”
She looks from Dallas to Blake and then back to me. “But she’s… I mean the way she dresses. And her attitude. Her whole way of life is just… just…”
“Different. I know.”
“How did this happen? Are you dating? I mean, of all the people in this town, she’s the last person I’d have guessed.”
I snort. “Yeah, me too.”
“So it was an accident. A one-night thing? Have you told Mom and Dad?”
“No. No. And no. It was intentional.”
She swallows. “You tried to get her pregnant? So, you’re together? Then why all the cloak and dagger?”
“We’re not together. She wanted a kid. I wanted a kid. It just made sense.”
“You want a kid? Since when?”
“It’s a long story. But yeah, I want a kid. I’m serious about you not saying anything, Allie. She hasn’t told anyone, not even Maddie and Ava.”
“Why not?”
“At first, she didn’t tell them because she knew they’d try to talk her out of it. Now, well, she just doesn’t want to be the newest Calloway Creek gossip fodder.”
“But she can’t hide it forever.”
“We know that. We just want a little more time.”
She narrows her eyes. “What’s she getting out of this? Did she talk you into this for your money?”
“She’s not like that. She didn’t even want to accept the child support recommended by our lawyer.”
“You have a lawyer? What, did you sign some pre-baby contract that says what days you’ll each get with him and shit like that?”
“Actually, yes.”
Dallas and Blake watch our back and forth like a tennis match, stuffing their faces with cheeseburgers while enjoying the entertainment. Me—I push away my food. I’m not hungry.
I tell Allie everything. Well, not everything . I leave out the part that makes me look like a douchebag when I wanted hookups just to make Regan come. I also leave out the minor detail that, oh yeah, I’m in love with her.
“She should be able to hide it better than most,” Allie says, taking a bite of my untouched burger. “Remember when Lily Knutson got knocked up? She’s about Regan’s size and she was able to hide it the entire time. Nobody knew she was pregnant until she left the hospital with a newborn. Sheesh! If that whole thing wasn’t a scandal.”
I remember that. It was about seven years ago when Lily Knutson and Doug Peters—both married at the time, and not to each other—became parents.
“We’re not going to take it that far,” I say. “I think once she tells Maddie and Ava, and maybe Ryder, she’ll be ready to tell everyone.” I point a finger at her. “If I hear even one rumor before then, I’ll know it was you.”
She holds up her hands innocently. “I’m not going to blab.” She motions to my meal. “Are you going to eat the rest of that? Because I’m starving.”
I push it toward her. “Go ahead.”
“Um, brother?” Blake says, looking behind me. “Not to make a bad situation worse, but your ex is on TV again.”
I rotate for a better position and see a new photo of Lissa and the senator’s son. Their wedding photo. I stare at it for a second when it hits me—I have no regrets. She got her happily ever after. The one she deserves. I turn back around, unaffected. “Good for her. I hope she’s happy.”
Allie stares at me through slitted eyes, chewing her food. Then her eyes fly wide open. “Oh. My. God. You love her!” she whisper-shouts. “You love Regan.”
I close my eyes, lean back, and try to sink into the booth. I’m not ready to have this conversation again. Because every time I do, I lose another piece of my heart.