Cross My Heart

10. TYLER

Chapter 10

TYLER

19 YEARS OLD

I t’s Christmas Eve, and Scarlett, Noah, and I are at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. We come here every year to see the Christmas lights. It's our tradition at this point. They’ve been doing it since they were little, and ever since I joined the friend group I’ve been coming too.

The night sky is filled with rain clouds, and it’s cold as fuck. I really hope we don’t get rained on, but at this point, it’s almost a guarantee. Noah is hanging back, letting Scarlett and I take the lead. I think he’s upset about something, but he just won’t tell me. And I’m not fucking psychic. I can’t help him if he won’t talk to me.

Scarlett grabs my hand out of nowhere, and my eyes bug out of my head. I look down at our connection, then at her face. She’s smirking at me, and my stomach flutters. But when I look back at Noah, his eyes focused on our hands, my stomach sinks instead. I hate this so much.

Ever since that party, there’s been this unspoken tension between us, and it’s downright suffocating. I should’ve never walked away from him. I should’ve done what I wanted to do all along—kiss him. Demand he be mine instead of fucking around with nameless guys. But I didn’t do that, and now I have no ownership over him. From here though, it looks like he’s feeling possessive over me, if the look on his face is any indication.

Noah’s eyes are narrowed on us, his lips set in a thin line, his face red with what I assume is anger. He shakes his head at me in what seems to be disappointment, and he looks away. It feels like I’m on a rollercoaster ride, my stomach not knowing how to behave. One moment it’s fluttering and the next it’s flip-flopping, and it’s making me want to puke.

Just as I predicted, it begins to rain. We’re probably a fifteen-minute walk away from the car, and I groan, suddenly annoyed. Scarlett stops walking, making me stumble, and she looks up at me with a bright smile. I shake my head because, of course, she’d be smiling right now.

“Let’s go home,” I tell her, and she shakes her head. My eyes narrow on her face. “What do you mean, no?”

But she doesn’t answer, instead she steps up to me and crashes her lips to mine. I’m stunned, my hands up in the air as if surrendering, and she wraps her arms around my neck. Her lips are pillowy soft, and when she teases her tongue against my lips, I open for her. A soft moan escapes her, and I wrap my arms around her waist and bring her closer to me. My skin tingles, my stomach flutters, but I open my eyes.

Noah and I make eye contact, and he looks…disappointed. And hurt. He shakes his head at me and mutters “ fuck this” , then walks past us quickly. I pull away from Scarlett, feeling guilty, but she just smiles up at me like I hung the moon.

“Tyler,” Scarlett says softly. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

My stomach drops down to my ass, and I know right away I can’t reject her. I wouldn’t say I’m in love with her, but it’s Scarlett. My best friend. We’re thick as thieves. I can’t fuck this up. Then again, I could really really fuck this up if I were to break up with her.

Sky-blue eyes flash in my mind, pouty lips, a straight nose, dark hair faded on the sides and trimmed short on top. Fuck. I don’t know how to do this without him hating me. I know there’s something between us, I can’t deny that, but he’s not making a move. And I haven’t either. I may not be in love with Scarlett, but I am into her. And love comes with time, right?

So I make the biggest mistake of my life.

I say, “Yes, Scar, I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Scarlett jumps into my arms, wrapping her legs around me, and I spin us in a circle. When we pull away from each other, her eyes are shining. She’s looking at me with stars in her eyes, and it’s heady. She’s never looked at me that way before, and it makes my stomach flip. So I grin down at her, and she gets on her tiptoes and presses a chaste kiss to my lips.

Just like that, she grabs my hand once more and we make our way back to the car. Noah is waiting in the driver’s seat even though it’s Scarlett’s vehicle, and we both get in the back. He looks at me in the rearview mirror, and I look away, feeling guilty. I don’t even know why. I am allowed to like a girl, even if said girl is our best friend. But in the back of my mind, I think back to when we were fourteen, and he warned me not to ruin our friendship. In the same vein, I think back to last year, when I saw him with Christian and was consumed with jealousy.

I don’t know what to do.

“Tyler and I are a couple.” Scarlett grins at Noah, and I turn my head and look out the window as he pulls out of the parking spot. We’re going to get hot chocolate at a local coffee shop. But Noah doesn’t reply. “Say something, Noah.”

“Don’t ruin our friendship,” is all he says, and Scarlett scoffs.

“Tyler and I are getting married,” she replies, and I choke on my spit. “So our friendship won’t be ruined.”

At this, I do look at Noah through the rearview mirror, and his eyes are already on mine. He looks sad for a moment, his eyes filled with sorrow. But then he faces forward and it’s as if it never even happened.

And I’m gutted.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

But I guess I’ve already picked.

There’s no going back now.