Cross My Heart

11. NOAH

Chapter 11

NOAH

20 YEARS OLD

I t’s almost midnight, and Tyler is supposed to get here any minute. I’ve been waiting for him for three hours, but apparently, Scarlett is holding him up. I don’t even want to think about what they’re doing—it honestly always sends me into a fit of rage. I try not to think about a lot of things lately. Like the fact that Scarlett betrayed me by asking Tyler out. Or the fact that Tyler and I will never be anything. I thought at one point that there was something between us, that maybe he felt it too, but I realize that was a stupid thing to expect of a straight man. Only I’d fall in love with someone who will never return my feelings. But I have to shoot my shot. I have to tell him how I feel and see what he says. If he feels nothing, I’ll never bring it up again. It’s still terrifying though.

What if I ruin our friendship?

Noah: Are you almost here? This is important and I’m getting tired.

Tyler: Here.

My stomach flips as my bedroom door opens, and in strolls Tyler, wearing a gray pair of sweatpants and a black band t-shirt. His Vans are black to match his shirt, and when my eyes slowly trace his body, they stop at the bulge between his legs. I swallow hard, my mouth watering at the thought of?—

“Hey,” Tyler says softly, clearing his throat. My eyes snap up to his, and I cock my head to the side. He looks nervous. “Sorry I took so long.”

“It’s fine,” I lie. “You’re here now.”

Ty sighs, “It’s not fine.” I nod. “Scarlett threw a fit about it. She was asking why I needed to come see you this late.”

I chuckle, “Wow.” Shaking my head, and Tyler’s eyes widen. He goes to my bed, sitting on the edge of it and taking off his shoes, then goes to sit in the middle of it, back against the headboard. I watch him for a moment, then say, “I’m your best friend. Why does it matter what time I want to hang out with you? We used to do sleepovers all the time.”

“I know.”

“So what now?” I snap. “We talk and then you go back to her?”

Tyler frowns. “You say that like?—”

“Never mind.” I shake my head, hating that we’re fighting. But I can’t help it—she’s pissing me the fuck off. “There’s nothing to talk about. Go back to your girlfriend.”

“Noah—” Tyler shakes his head too now. “Don’t do this…”

“It’s done already.”

“Talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say, Tyler?” I snap. “You don’t even care.”

“I care.” It’s so quiet I almost don’t hear it. “Tell me.”

There’s a moment of silence between us as I try to figure out what I’m going to say. How am I going to tell him this? But then I realize, the only way to do it is to rip off the Band-Aid.

I move closer to the bed, climbing onto it and sitting next to him. He makes space for me by scooting over, and I thank my lucky stars for the queen-sized bed right about now. I wish this was more than it really is between us. But I know the answer to everything I’m going to tell him tonight.

And yet I’m still doing it.

It’s as if I’m watching a damn car crash, and I can’t look away. That’s my life right now.

“Tyler, I’m—” In love with you. “I’m enlisting.”

“As in, you’re joining the Army?” His brows furrow, but he doesn’t wait for my response. I know he knew this day was coming, it was just a matter of when. “When do you leave?”

“One week.”

“ What ?” Tyler sputters, turning his body toward me. He looks distraught as he pinches my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to look at him. “One fucking week, Noah? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me before now?”

“What was the point?” I chuckle, but it holds no humor. “You’ve been too busy with Scarlett to care about what I’m doing.”

Tyler nods slowly, making eye contact with me. His eyes dilate. “I deserve that.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” Tyler traps his bottom lip between his teeth, and my eyes drop to watch it happen. He sucks in a sharp breath, and I return my eyes to his.

“You know I have to.” I sigh, running a hand down my face and then dropping it to my lap. Tyler grabs it, squeezing it hard. “I?—”

“Don’t leave,” Tyler whispers, searching my eyes. He tears up, and I watch in horror as a tear trails down his cheek. “Please?”

“Tyler,” I whisper, and he swallows hard. I reach out and wipe the moisture from his cheek with my thumb, and more tears follow. “Come with me.”

Tyler frowns. “How?”

“ Come with me .”

What. The. Fuck.

I can’t even believe I just said that.

“What are you saying, Noah?” His frown deepens. “What?—”

“I’m in love with you,” I blurt out. “I want to be with you.”

“Noah.” Tyler’s tears come even faster, and mine are close to coming out too. I don’t know if I can take his rejection right now. “I can’t?—”

“Yeah, I know.” I huff. “You’re with Scarlett.”

Tyler looks down. “That’s not what I was going to say.”

“You’re not going to school, Ty,” I begin to list all the reasons why he should come with me. “You’re working at fucking Sonic, not even for the family business. You have nothing going for you here. I could give you everything you need and want. I can make it happen for us. Just—come with me .”

Ty huffs. “My family is here.”

“I’m your family too.” I cup his cheeks with both hands now, thumbs brushing away his tears. “Why are you crying?”

“Because,” Tyler hiccups. “Why did you have to admit your feelings for me when I’m with Scarlett? Don’t you think that’s a little selfish?”

“So, what?” I shrug, dropping my hands to my sides. “Like we haven’t been dancing around this bullshit for years now? I’m not stupid, Tyler. I know you feel something too.”

There’s a moment of silence, and Tyler looks away from me. My hands begin to shake when his eyes return to mine, a grimace on his face. His eyes dip down to my lips, staying there, and I lick them. Fire shoots straight to my dick, and my nostrils flare.

“What are you doing, Ty?”

He leans in, closing the distance between us, his lips a centimeter from mine. We’re sharing breaths now, and I close my eyes. I don’t give a damn if he’s with Scarlett. If he wants to kiss me, who am I to deny him? I’ll never reject him. There’s no way in hell that will ever happen.

“Kissing you,” he breathes against my lips. “Stay still and let me.”

“Okay,” I reply, and his lips press against mine.

The kiss is chaste, but his lips are so soft. They’re pillowy and full, and I sigh into it. Our lips shift, and he sucks my bottom one into his mouth gently. Still so fucking soft and unhurried, as if we have all the time in the world. Electricity shoots down my spine when his hand connects with the back of my neck, pulling me closer, and he climbs onto my lap without breaking the kiss. My hands grip his hips as he deepens the kiss, teasing the seam of my lips with his tongue.

And, oh God, do I ever open up to him.

When his tongue thrusts between my lips, we groan in unison. I swear on my life, this kiss is a full spiritual experience. I’m kissing Tyler Levi Hayes—the one I always wanted. The one I thought about when kissing everyone else. It’s finally happening, and it’s better than I could’ve ever imagined.

Tyler shifts his hips, grinding his ass over my dick, and I moan. This seems to snap something inside of him, and he goes faster until I’m panting against his lips. “You’re gonna make me come if you don’t stop doing that,” I growl. “Ty?—”

“Come then.”

“Not without you,” I tell him, shoving him onto his back. His legs spread open for me, and I position myself between them. “We come together.”

He nods, grabbing my ass with both hands and squeezing over my shorts, pulling me into him, making me grind down on him. My body tenses as I feel the spark between us intensify, and I moan when he does too. I thrust against him, over and over, and his legs wrap around my waist as my mouth descends back onto his.

His tongue wars with mine, tangling and trying to dominate. And his moans go straight to my balls. My spine tingles, my balls draw up, and I groan into his mouth. “Gonna come,” I whisper.

“Me too,” Tyler says softly.

With one more thrust against his cotton-covered cock, I bust in my shorts. It should be fucking embarrassing how fast I just came, but when he tenses under me and comes too, I can’t help but feel like this was meant to be. This. Us. Finally .

I flip over onto my back, lying next to him and staring up at the ceiling. The silence is thick and suffocating, and I desperately need him to speak.

“Say something,” I beg him, knowing he might be freaking out. It’s the first time he’s done anything with a man, so I can’t even fault him for that.

“I don’t know what to say,” he whispers, and I almost can’t tell what he’s saying. He’s speaking so low. “I just—I can’t leave with you.”

I nod. “Okay.” I have to blink rapidly to keep the tears at bay. “Does that mean you’re staying with Scarlett?”

“Noah—”

“It’s fine,” I sigh. “It’s cool. Guess that was stupid of me to expect something else.”

“I have feelings for you too,” he blurts out, and I tense. “But I can’t pick right now. I can’t just ruin our friendship with Scarlett. Not when you’re leaving me behind.”

“I asked you to come.”

“And you know I can’t.” His voice cracks, and so does my heart.

“Can’t?” I question. “Or won’t?”

“I won’t,” he affirms. “I have a life here.”

“Figures,” I scoff. “Ty, you’ve known this was always gonna happen. You can’t expect me to change my mind.”

“And you can’t expect me to change mine.”

Just like that he gets up from the bed and leaves the room, leaving me in my bed with cum-soaked shorts. I don’t know where he’s going, and I’m honestly afraid to go after him. I’m scared he’s going to hurt me more. Which is why I stay in my room, contemplating my life choices. I should’ve never said anything to him. Should’ve never admitted my feelings for him out loud—not that he didn’t already know about them. But now they’re out in the open.

Yet I wouldn’t take back those kisses for anything in the world.