Cross My Heart

13. TYLER

Chapter 13

TYLER

21 YEARS OLD

N oah, Scarlett, and I have been sitting in the car for approximately fifteen minutes. We’ve been waiting for her to finish doing her makeup, and he’s sitting in the back of my truck, staring right at me the entire time. He’s not even trying to hide it. I’m not sure what changed between Scarlett’s birthday party to now, but he’s giving me whiplash. He wanted nothing to do with me just a few days ago, and I couldn’t blame him. I left him all those months ago. But now it’s as if none of it matters.

I look over at him from the rearview mirror, and he smirks.

And then I remember.

The way his lips felt against mine. His tongue thrusting into my mouth. The way electricity zapped straight to my balls. The way we were grinding and rutting against each other, dry humping until we both came. And also, the way I got the fuck out of there like my ass was on fire.

The truth is the offer he made scared me shitless. What scared me the most was that I actually considered it. For a few moments, I was right there with him. I thought about leaving Scarlett and my family behind, following him wherever he wanted to go. Even the thought of leaving with him made my stomach flutter. But then I realized, I can’t just leave my dreams behind. Becoming a teacher. Building a life here. Possibly even having kids. And we’ve never even been in a relationship. What if it doesn’t work? What if we lose our friendship? I can’t risk that. I won’t .

It’s different with Scarlett. I wouldn’t say I’m more attracted to her than him, but she did shoot her shot first. If it would’ve been the other way around, I would’ve stuck it out with Noah. But if things blow up with him, I’d be losing not one but two best friends. Surely Scarlett wouldn’t stay friends with us if I broke up with her for him. If I pursued a relationship with Noah, I’d have to be ready to give up Scarlett too.

“Are we ready?” Scarlett finally asks, putting her makeup away under the seat.

I chuckle, “We’ve been waiting on you , babe.”

I don’t miss the way that Noah clears his throat from behind her, as if me calling her babe bothers him to no end. I can’t help the smile that blooms on my face.

We get out of the car with Scarlett leading the way to the entrance of the club, and I follow closely behind, not looking back at Noah. I don’t want to see the look on his face right now, it would break me. He’s going to be jealous, and if I’m being honest, after the last time we were together, I can’t blame him. We shouldn’t have done what we did. I shouldn’t know what his lips taste like. What it feels like to come apart underneath him. The sounds he makes when he comes for me. And fuck, I know it would kill me to see him with someone else. But it’s something I have to get ready for. Especially since we’re at a nightclub and Noah has never had any issues with pulling men.

After we get our wristbands, we make our way in. The music is pounding, and I can feel the bass vibrating in my chest. It’s some hip-hop song I don’t recognize, and when I look over at Scarlett, she has a smile on her face. I look down at her little black dress and high heels, my mouth going dry at the thought of having her again tonight. But then I look at Noah’s tight ass in his jeans. The way his shirt hugs his biceps and broad chest. I’m craving the burn of his beard, his hard body above mine. And I’m so fucked. Because I can’t have any of that.

The blue and red strobe lights are blinding, and I focus my eyes on the bar. That’s exactly what I need, some alcohol. I watch as Scarlett leads the way there as if she knows exactly what I’m thinking, and suddenly I wonder if she can read minds. Does she somehow know that something happened between Noah and me? Does she have a sixth sense that I cheated on her? Would she forgive me if she knew? I would never hurt her purposely…it just happened. Out of nowhere. And it was a long time coming, so I didn’t have it in me to put a stop to it. I had to know what he felt like.

We finally make it to the bar, and Scarlett orders us six shots of Jameson, two for each. Noah grins at her, taking both shots and downing them in one go. I bring the shot glass to my lips and chug the liquid, my insides burning, going straight to my stomach. It feels warm, just like my groin when I look over at him. His short hair, faded on the sides and slightly longer on top. The way his eyes look at me from top to bottom, then back to my face. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me right now, but he doesn’t even care that Scar is here. I don’t know if I love that or if it pisses me off.

“Over there,” Scarlett says to Noah, pointing at some guy in a crop top and skinny jeans. He’s about three to four inches shorter than us, since Noah and I are about the same height. “Him.”

Shouldn’t she know that’s not what he’s usually into? But Noah smirks at her and nods. “Done.” He winks, then heads over there.

I don’t know how he does it, but within thirty seconds, he has the other guy nodding and grinning. Noah grabs his hand and takes him to the dance floor, leading the way. I look after them, watching them with anger. My insides are hot, my hands trembling. I can’t stand to watch them, yet I also can’t tear my gaze away.

Noah and I make eye contact, and he raises an eyebrow, then smirks. It pisses me off even more, and when Scarlett grabs my hand and pulls us beside them, I smirk back. Two can play this game. So I turn Scarlett around and pull her against me, grabbing her hips as she grinds against me. The sensation shoots pleasure to my balls, and I look over at Noah. His eyes are narrowed on me, and he grabs the stranger’s ass and pulls him even closer, whispering something in his ear. The guy pulls away, then grabs the back of Noah’s neck and slams his lips to Noah’s.

Red, hot anger bubbles through me, and suddenly I can’t watch anymore. I need some fucking air. So I tell Scarlett I have to go outside for a moment, and she frowns but goes back to the bar as I walk away from her.

The walk to the parking lot is long as I dodge bodies left and right, but when I finally make it, I can breathe easier. I fucking hate him for that, for rubbing the guy in my face. Then again, it’s my fault for rejecting him. He’s single and can do whatever he wants. So why does it feel like he’s cheating on me? I feel like a jealous boyfriend right now even though we’re nothing more than friends. And that’s all we’ll ever be.

Heat envelops me from behind, and suddenly I know exactly who’s behind me. I look at my watch, and damn, I’ve been out here for twenty minutes. Which means Noah was busy that entire time. It shouldn’t make me angry, but it does. Maybe it’s a bad idea to hang out after how we left things. We should probably keep our distance, especially since I clearly can’t control myself or my feelings. It’s a recipe for disaster, and this situation is just begging for Scarlett to figure us out.

“Did you fuck him?” I ask Noah, my voice low.

“No.” He gets closer until my back is flush against his front. I can feel the bulge in his pants against my ass, and I bite my lip. “But he gives a pretty mean blowjob.”

My eyes narrow to slits, and my nostrils flare. “Why the fuck would you tell me that?”

“Are you jealous, love?”

“No.” I breathe. Yes . I don’t know. “I could never be jealous. You’re single—do whatever you want.”

His breath fans against my ear, and I shiver. “Liar.”

“Maybe.” I nod. “But I have no right to say shit to you, and it’s gonna stay that way.”

“What if I want you to tell me how you feel?” he asks me, still speaking against my ear. “What if I need to hear it?”

“What do you wanna hear, Noah?” I snap. “That I wish it was me instead? That I wish you’d be the one kissing me instead? Sucking my dick? Me sucking yours? Holding my hand? I can’t say those things—I can’t want them.”

“Sure you can,” he assures me. “You can want all of those things. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It just makes you human.”

“I’m with someone else.” I shake my head. “Our best friend.”

“And?”

“And I can’t betray her.”

“Newsflash, Ty.” Noah chuckles. “You already did.”

I nod, and his hand grips my hip. “Not again. I can’t do it again.”

“So break up with her,” he snaps. “Come with me.”

“I can’t.” My voice breaks. “You know I can’t. It would ruin everything. Our friendship if we don’t work out. Scarlett’s friendship with us if we do. We can’t win this one.”

“Maybe we’re not meant to win it,” he tells me. “But wouldn’t it be amazing to try?”

Yes .

“No.” I shake my head. “I’m sorry.”

Noah nods. “Fine.”

And this time he’s the one to walk away from me.

It seems like that’s the only thing we’re capable of doing lately.