Cross My Heart

22. NOAH

Chapter 22

NOAH

26 YEARS OLD

T he bars at the Riverwalk are a normal occurrence for me nowadays. Ever since Tyler’s wedding, I’ve been bar-hopping to drown my sorrows. For the first time in months, I’ve allowed myself to go out with friends. I don’t know if it’s a good idea or if I’m even pleasant to be around at the moment, but I have to try. I can’t keep living the way I have—barely catching my breath. Constantly dragging my feet through life, hoping for a time machine. Praying that I’ll wake up at any moment and realize this has all been a nightmare.

But that’s not the case.

This is my life now.

This bar in particular is my favorite. Mostly because it has a food menu, and I can eat something and then continue drinking. I’m not looking to get wasted, instead, I’m looking to have a little bit of lighthearted fun. Maybe even get laid. Which is something I haven’t done in a very long time, out of some misguided sense of loyalty. He’s fucking his wife. So why does it feel like I’m betraying him if I do the same? Why does it feel as if I’m cheating on him when we’re not even together?

I’ve always felt that way though. Waiting for him was never a problem throughout the years. I did it because I wanted to—because I had faith it would pay off. That he would leave her for me. That he would choose me, even when I told him not to. Because if he really loved me like he said, he would’ve left her. He wouldn’t have listened to me. At the end of the day, I wanted him to leave her for himself. Because he wanted to—because he didn’t want to be with her anymore and he couldn’t keep living a lie. But he’s a fucking coward.

There’s a hand on my shoulder as I put the last ball into the pocket of the pool table, then shoot the eight ball. I hold my breath as it travels across the table and into the corner hole, then grin when I win the game. My friends erupt into cheers, and the man I was playing against grins. At least he’s not a sore loser.

I turn around to find Jeremiah Michaels behind me. He was the one holding onto me, and I raise a questioning eyebrow at him when he doesn’t take a step back. He’s crowding my space, and he looks down at my body with a flirty smirk as I take him in. I’m not one to get involved with my coworkers, but I can’t deny he’s appealing in every single way. It’s not that I haven’t noticed him before. It’s just simply that I was unavailable. But that was before . And this is now.

Staring into his beautiful green eyes is certainly not a hardship, and I return the perusal of his body, looking from his face down to his Vans as he doesn’t move a muscle. Letting me stare him down. It’s exhilarating. The first time I have felt something other than sadness in a long time. And when my eyes meet his once more, I’ve decided something. Maybe I can shit where I eat after all. Maybe it would be worth it.

Maybe, just maybe.

“Are you going to stare at me all night?” He grins, not bothered at all. His blond hair shines under the seedy bar’s dim lights, and I grin back. “Or are you going to take me home?”

“Are you always this forward?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at him yet again.

“Always,” he replies, nodding, getting closer to me until he’s backed me up against the pool table. “I take what I want,” he whispers in my ear, and I look around to find my friends grinning at me or smirking like fools. They’re probably crossing their fingers for me to get laid, considering I haven’t been that easy to be around lately. They’re probably hoping this will fix me right up. Hell, I’m hoping it will.

“And what do you want?” I ask him, my hand coming to grip his hip tightly as I feel his growing erection against my own hip. It doesn’t take a genius to know exactly what he wants, but since he says he takes what he wants, I want him to say it. To ask for it.

“Take me home.”

“And then?” I lick my lips, and he pulls back to look into my eyes. His own are dilated, and he bites his bottom lip.

“Fuck me.”

“What do you want after?”

I look at him. Really look at him.

He’s beautiful, with his blond hair cut military-style. Green eyes that shine like emeralds, and full, pouty lips that beg to be kissed. He’s built, muscular arms filling his black t-shirt to bursting and his muscular thighs hug his jeans. He’s the polar opposite of Tyler, and he’s looking more appealing by the second. I wouldn’t mind getting him under me. Wouldn’t mind?—

“I wouldn’t mind a repeat or two.” He shrugs. “Or cuddles.”

“Cuddles?” I laugh. “Maybe I’m shit with cuddles.”

“Maybe.” He chuckles. “I still want to find out.”

I nod.

“So what do you say, Milner?” He grabs the back of my neck and leans into me, brushing his lips against mine. Maybe it’s because I’m touch starved, but my stomach flutters at the contact. “Are we leaving?”

“Only if you call me Noah.”

“Noah.” He sizes the name up. “I like that.”

I close my eyes and the distance between us, pressing my lips softly to his. They’re so fucking soft, and he groans when we connect. His hand behind my neck tightens, and I brush my tongue against the seam of his lips. When he lets me in and sucks on it, my stomach dips and my cock hardens.

“Let’s get out of here,” I whisper against his lips, and he grins.

My friends whoop and holler when we break apart, and I roll my eyes. But still, I grab his hand and leave the bar, getting into an Uber with him. The air is thick as we wait in the back of the car to get to my apartment, and he slides his hand to my thigh, gripping it tightly like he doesn’t want to let me go.

Finally, we pull up to my apartment.

I open the car door and climb out, holding it for him as he follows suit. Before I can get too far, he grabs my hand and holds on tightly, lacing our fingers together. I find that his hand doesn’t feel wrong in mine. Not familiar, and yet, just right. I smile as I pull him after me, then unlock my door one-handed. Before I can fully close the door behind us, he’s pushing me against it.

His forehead meets mine, and his whiskey breath mingles with my own. I don’t waste any time, grabbing his ass and rubbing him against my growing erection. He moans, his cock immediately thickening against mine, and I sigh against his lips.

“Top or bottom?” I whisper.

“For you?” He grins, and I tilt my chin to meet his lips. “Bottom.”

I kiss him, relief flooding my veins. I’ve never bottomed for anyone, and I didn’t plan on starting tonight. But he can clearly read me very well, and suddenly I wonder if he usually bottoms or if he’s switching just for me.

My tongue thrusts into his mouth and tangles with his, and I push away from the door and guide him through my one-bedroom apartment in the dark. I don’t stop until I’m pushing him back onto the bed, and he begins to unbutton his jeans before he hits the mattress. Jeremiah kicks off his shoes quickly as I get undressed, and he practically tears his jeans off and tosses them across the room, showing me that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. My mouth goes dry at the sight of his thick cock, slightly smaller than mine, yet fucking perfect all the same.

Before I can rethink this, I walk over to the nightstand and retrieve lube and a condom. By the time I get back to him, he’s completely naked, golden skin on full display. His abs are defined, chest sculpted, arms thick and bulging. He’s fucking perfect, and my mouth suddenly waters with the need to taste him. So I give in, getting between his thighs and dipping my head to lick at his hole.

I devour him, there’s no other way to describe it. Plunging my tongue inside of him, I feel his ass clench around my tongue as he moans. I grip his thighs apart and thrust my tongue into him deeper, feeling his velvety softness as my saliva drips down my chin.

He tastes divine.

“Oh, God,” he moans, and I see him grab his dick and begin to tug on it. “I’m gonna?—”

I pull away. “Not until I’m inside of you.”

“Please,” he whimpers, tugging on his length. “I can go again.”

“Oh, yeah?” I smirk, getting back down between his thighs. “Show me.”

I lick him with fervor, sucking on his rim and thrusting my tongue into him until he takes all of it. His pace on his cock increases, and he lets out a strangled moan.

“Fuck, yes,” he shouts, and I feel his hole fluttering around my tongue, clenching down on it hard. “ Noah .”

My stomach somersaults at the way he says my name, and I rub myself against the bed, seeking relief.

“Get up here, baby,” he whispers, and I tear the condom open and sheath myself. “Fucking look at you, so perfect. And all mine tonight.”

It’s been a long fucking time since someone claimed me, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t mind it. Maybe it’s because I’ve known him for a while now. If he were a stranger, I’d probably find it odd. But Jeremiah and I are friends. Kind of.

Grabbing the lube, I coat my fingers and bring them to his sloppy hole, thrusting one in slowly. The moonlight filters in through the open blinds, and I watch with bated breath as his cock fills back up and thickens before my eyes. I grin, slipping a second finger into him, crooking them, and he moans loudly, clenching around me.

“You ready for me again, Jeremiah?” I ask him as I fuck his ass roughly with my fingers, and his thighs quiver. “So fucking greedy.”

“I t-told you I’d show you.”

I withdraw my fingers from him and watch his balls tighten, rising toward his body. They’re large and full, and I want to fucking wring him dry. I haven’t felt this need to possess someone in a long time, and I’m holding onto the feeling like a lifeline.

Jeremiah pushes his legs up toward his chest, giving me access, and if it were anyone else, I’d probably fuck him from behind. I wouldn’t want to see his face, wanting to imagine wide clear-blue eyes instead of emerald orbs right now. But that’s not what’s happening, and for the first time, I find myself counting all my lucky stars.

I kneel between his legs, coating my cock with a generous amount of lube, and push into him slowly. I hiss at his tightness, and he whimpers. “Jeremiah,” I moan. “When was the last time you bottomed?”

“Never.”

One word shouldn’t make me feel this possessive over him, but suddenly I like that answer. I like that I’ve now been his only. “I’ll be gentle.”

“No.” He shakes his head quickly.

I pull back and thrust back into him, bottoming out and angling my hips to hit his prostate. He cries out immediately, and his eyes roll to the back of his head. And because I want the contact, I lower myself over him and rub my abs against his dick as I fuck him. He wraps his legs around me tightly as if I could run away from him. Like I might change my mind.

Jeremiah grips the back of my head and lowers it toward his, capturing my bottom lip between his teeth, and I feel my balls draw up with the need to come. My spine begins to tingle, and he lets go of my lip. But I chase him, kissing him deeply. His hand grips the short hair at the top of my head, and he begins to top from the bottom.

“So good, baby,” he moans, and his ass flutters. “Please, don’t stop.”

“Never,” I tell him, going faster, deeper, angling my hips to fuck into him better. “I’m gonna rock your world, Jer.”

“Fucking hell!” he shouts, covering my abs and chest with his cum. He didn’t even use his hand. It’s possibly the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck .”

I speed up, chasing my release, finding it. My cum spills into the condom, and ecstasy wraps itself around my bones. “Oh, yes ,” I groan, stilling above him as my orgasm wanes. “Your ass is magic.”

“I know.” He grins, and I chuckle.

“Cocky.”

“Confident,” Jeremiah replies. “Now cuddle me.”

“Demanding,” I laugh.

“Like I said—I know what I want.”

“And did you figure out what that is?” I ask him softly, staring into his smiling eyes.

“ You .”

A shiver rolls down my spine at his admission. It would be easy to fall in love with him. He’s direct, doesn’t beat around the bush, and wants to stake a claim. It’s been forever since someone claimed me. Now that I think of it, it’s never happened. I kind of like it.

I press a chaste kiss to his lips, and he smiles when I pull away. It’s like he can’t stop smiling. And it’s doing something to me. My chest feels tight.

“Then have me.”

He chuckles. “I plan on it.”

Pulling out of him, I take off the condom and dispose of it in the bathroom. I grab a washcloth and wet it with warm water, then wring it out. I don’t remember the last time I took care of someone, but with him, it feels necessary. I’d say it feels like second nature.

So I do it.

I get between his thighs and wipe him down, then lick the cum off his torso. He holds my face to his chest as I lick him clean, and I groan at his taste. I throw the washcloth across the room, toward the bathroom, and lie down next to him. But he has other ideas, getting behind me and pulling me against him. His arm wraps around my waist, and he presses his nose to my hair and inhales deeply. I’m hit with a feeling that wraps around my bones and doesn’t let go. Something like heartache, because no one has ever taken care of me this way.

“Do you clean everyone up?” he whispers.

“No.”

“Do you cuddle?” he asks, and this time he sounds vulnerable.

“Never,” I reply softly.

“So you’re saying I’m special?” I can hear the smirk in his voice even though I can’t see it.

“Very.” I grin.

“Hmm,” he sighs. “I want to be special.”

“To me?”

“Yeah.” His arm tightens around me, and I place a hand over his. “Can I spend the night?”

“Did you think I’d kick you out?” I chuckle.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Maybe.”

I’m hit with a wave of emotion, and I swallow hard. “Stay.”

“Yeah?” I nod at his question. “Okay.”

“Flip over,” I demand, and he lets go of me, doing as he’s told. I press my naked body to his, pulling the covers over us, and hold him. I kiss the back of his neck, and it feels intimate. Like nothing I should be doing with a one-night stand. And maybe this is my sign. That it should be more.

“Night,” he says sleepily.

“Good night, Jeremiah.”

For the first time in a long time, I don’t imagine it’s Tyler with his arms around me. I don’t imagine it’s us living the life I always wanted with him. For the first time ever, maybe, I’m in the moment with someone who could be right for me, and that counts for something.

Maybe this is where I’ve belonged all along.

In someone else’s arms.

And when we wake up in the morning, and he gives me a sleepy smile, I find that I don’t regret anything.

Instead, I’m eager for more.