Cross My Heart

33. TYLER

Chapter 33

TYLER

N oah Milner is back, and I don’t know what to do with myself. Seeing him again for the first time in six months was like a kick to the chest, and my heart was restarted. Having him back in the flesh, feeling his skin against mine, was more than I could’ve asked for. But he’s angry with me, and I can’t blame him.

He’s not the only angry one though. Scarlett is pissed at me, and I can’t say I blame her either. I sprung this up on her, but did she really think I’d desert him when he’s hurt and needs us?

I know I’m a piece of shit. I also don’t know how to stop the inevitable. I don’t know how to stay away from him. I never have. And I don’t think I’ll start learning any time soon.

I don’t believe you can only have one soulmate in a lifetime. I believe you can have more, and Noah Milner is definitely my soulmate. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for that man, and now it’s time to put my money where my mouth is. I didn’t leave her because I was getting my affairs in order, but I was also a coward. I was prolonging the inevitable, knowing I’d have to give her up forever. It didn’t make my love for him less, I was just hurting. If I have one, I lose the other. And that’s a tough pill to swallow.

There’s one thing I’m sure of, though. I want to grow old with Noah. I want to be with him until I’m gray, until I take my last breath. It doesn’t matter what’s happened over the years, or what will happen over the course of the next ones, the love I feel for him is unlimited, indefinite. It’s not possible to move on from him. It would take an exorcism to rid me of my love for him.

I’m going to chase him, going to show him he’s worth it. That I can’t live without him. I know him better than anyone. He runs to be caught and hides with the intention of being found. I plan on doing both. And nothing and no one is going to stop me from it. He’s my forever and ever, and I’m his. That much I know.

I get up from the couch and go to the bathroom, rubbing my eyes. Scarlett has already left, telling me she is going out with friends for brunch. I’m sure it’s because she wants to spend as little time with Noah as possible. It should bother me, but instead, I’m just grateful that I get to try to make things better with him. I need to talk to him. Need him to hear me out.

After I take care of business, I put on some gray sweatpants and go back to the living area. Noah is now in the kitchen, making himself some breakfast. I stand behind him, walking forward until my front is to his back. He stiffens, and it fucking stings, but I don’t let it deter me as I trail my fingers down his right arm.

“What are you doing today?” I ask him quietly.

“I was gonna go to the cemetery,” he replies just as softly. “To visit my parents.”

“I want to go with you.” I look at him again, and he turns around to face me. We’re so close, yet so far away. He shakes his head. “Please, Noah. You shouldn’t be driving in this condition.”

“I drove just fine to get here.”

“Doesn’t mean you should’ve done it,” I tell him through gritted teeth.

“I’m not disabled,” he snaps, narrowing his eyes on my face.

“Never said you were.” I shrug. “You’re incapacitated for now.”

“You’re not coming,” he deadpans, and my heart squeezes in my chest. His rejection hurts more than I care to admit. And I won’t admit it, but I’m sure it’s written all over my face. When it comes to him, I can’t pretend. I don’t have a poker face. Everything is out in the open, and I know he can read me like a book. Way better than my wife ever could.

“Why?” I snap.

Noah raises an eyebrow, and I look down. He doesn’t have to reply for me to know why he doesn’t want me to come. He’s angry with me, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it right now. “I don’t want you there.”

I shake my head, huffing. “You can’t be serious.”

“As a heart attack.”

“Please, Noah,” I try again. “ Please .”

“Why do you want to go so badly?” He narrows his eyes at me. “Spend time with your wife .” The word wife is said with disdain. He basically spits it out.

“I want to spend time with you .”

“She’s going to be jealous,” he says, looking at the stove. “What if she kicks me out because of it?”

I frown. “She’d never do that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” I growl. “I wouldn’t let her. Besides, I took the day off to spend it with you.”

“Does she know that?” It’s his turn to frown, and I can’t help but notice the crease between his eyebrows, the way his pink, full lips turn down.

“She will.”

“No,” he says with finality, and I stiffen. “I said no.”

“Fine,” I growl, getting up from the couch and heading back toward my bedroom.

“What are you doing?” Noah comes in just as I’m putting my shirt on.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Don’t be a smartass.”

“I’m going with you,” I deadpan. “I’m taking you to see your parents.”

“The fuck you are.”

I walk past him, ready to get out of here. I just wish I knew how to make it better. At the end of the day, I have two missions. Earn Noah’s forgiveness and leave Scarlett. The first one will be the hardest to accomplish.

That much I do know.