Cross My Heart

43. NOAH

Chapter 43

NOAH

S carlett left this morning, and I’ve been comforting Tyler ever since. I understand it’s a huge change for him, so I’m not taking it personally. At the end of the day, she was a best friend to both of us, but mostly him for the last five years. Not to mention, having to leave behind the life you envisioned for yourself must be hard too. I won’t pretend to know what this is like, which is why I’m not offering any advice, but I’ll gladly be his shoulder to cry on. And he has been crying non-stop for the past fifteen hours. Well, he was, but now it’s as if a calm enveloped him finally and he’s quiet. His sobs have stopped altogether, and so have his sniffles, and he seems to be falling asleep.

I sigh softly, snuggling him closer, with me being the big spoon this time. My arm tightens around his waist slightly, and he groans. My face is buried in the crook of his neck, and I inhale the scent that is only his. He smells like home and something woodsy. Like pine trees and freedom.

Over the years, I’ve never felt like home has been a place. Not in the military, anyway. I’ve been overseas so much that I don’t even keep an apartment anymore. I keep having to break lease after lease with every deployment. Tyler is the only constant in my life. The light at the end of the tunnel. Every road leads back to him. He’s my home. The only one I’ve ever had. The only one I’ll ever want.

I close my eyes, and suddenly a memory assaults all my senses. I can practically smell the salty air of the beach, it’s so vivid. I taste cherry chapstick on my lips, his cherry chapstick, and lick them. He’s dancing around at the beach, the waves lapping at his feet, with the sunset behind him. Brown, curly hair, softly blowing in the wind. A bright white smile. And suddenly, his arm is outstretched toward me, his waiting fingers spreading wide as his hand connects with mine.

Promise you’ll wait for me, Tyler.

“What are you thinking about?” Tyler breaks me out of my thoughts, and I open my eyes.

The soft glow of the bedside lamp is bathing over us, but he’s turned away from me so I can’t see his face. And right now, I want to. It’s as if he can read my mind too, because he removes my arm from around his waist and flips over to face me. His face is red and blotchy, his eyes puffy and bloodshot, his nose chafed. Yet he looks more beautiful than ever. He looks like he’s finally mine.

“What are you thinking about, Noah?” he whispers, repeating himself.

“You.”

His lips curl into a soft smile that reaches his eyes, and he caresses my cheek gently. I close my eyes at the contact and lean into it. “What about me?” he asks.

“What do you want for your future, Ty?” Do you see yourself with me like I see myself with you? “Where do you want to be in five years?”

“Somewhere with you.”

This time I brush my fingers over his cheek, and he closes his eyes momentarily. When he opens them again, I ask, “Why did you give up your dream of being a teacher?”

“I just didn’t think it was in the cards for me.” He shrugs nonchalantly, but I know he’s anything but that. “Scarlett took priority for a long time, and then my dad gifted me the bar and I felt like maybe that’s what I was meant to be doing all along.”

“And now?”

“Maybe I’ll go back to school.” He smiles, a faraway look in his eyes. As if he’s daydreaming right in front of me. “I have to sell the bar now. So nothing is stopping me.”

“You don’t have to work anymore,” I tell him, and he narrows his eyes at me. “I’ll take care of us. I make more than enough?—”

“I don’t know, Noah,” he whispers. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’d never be a burden, love.” I smile at him. “I want to take care of you. I want you to achieve all your dreams. And you need to study full-time if that’s the dream you want to accomplish. We’re getting old, Ty.”

Tyler smirks. “Oh, fuck off!” But it’s playful, and he shoves me lightly. I grin like a lunatic, and he chuckles. “I’m not getting old yet.”

“Nah, you look better than ever.”

“You think so?” he asks, and I get closer until our noses are brushing against each other.

“You look like a man, Ty,” I say against his lips, and I feel them quirk up with a smile. “You look like my man.”

His breath catches. “I am.”

Suddenly, I feel vulnerable. I don’t know what comes over me, only that I need to know this more than I need air right now. “Do you regret it?” I ask him in a whisper, afraid he’s going to say yes and shatter me into a million pieces. “Do you regret leaving her?”

“I’ve wanted this for a long time, Noah. I want you .” He grabs the back of my neck and presses a chaste kiss to my lips. It feels infinite, yet too short at the same time. “I’ll never regret us. I regret wasting her time and humiliating her the way I did but leaving her was the right thing to do for all of us. No matter how much it hurts, losing her friendship forever.”

A shiver runs through me, my chest fluttering, and I nod. “I want you too, baby.”

“Show me,” Tyler slants his lips over mine once more but doesn’t kiss me. “I want to feel how much you want me.”

I press my lips to his softly, and every time is like the first time we kissed. Electricity runs through my body, and my fingers tingle as I cup his cheek. My stomach flutters with butterflies, and a sigh escapes him as if he’s been waiting for this, craving it as much as I have. As if he’s finally where he’s meant to be.

His tongue teases the seam of my lips, and when it tangles with mine, we both moan. My dick thickens in my boxers, and my nostrils flare as I try to restrain myself. It takes me back in time to a decade ago, a time when things could’ve been—should’ve been. A time when he should’ve chosen me. A time when I should’ve let him. But now he has, and that’s all that matters.

Tyler’s hand reaches out, cupping my dick over my boxers and rubbing it with the palm of his hand. I groan, feeling like he’s about to rock my fucking world, yet remembering how vulnerable he is right now.

“W-w-wait,” I stutter as he bites my lip. “Ty, we can’t.”

“Why the fuck not?” he growls against my lips. “We can finally be together, and you’re going to reject me?”

“No.” I look into his eyes, trying to convey how much I love him. How much he means to me. “You’re just vulnerable right now. I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”

“I’ll never regret you, Noah.” Tyler rubs harder, then grabs me and squeezes. I moan, and he smirks. “I’m finally right where I want to be, where I’m meant to be.”

I nod, and Tyler fists my boxers and begins to yank them down under my ass. My cock springs free, slapping my abs. I don’t fight him; I don’t think I have it in me to. In fact, I lift my hips to help him out.

“God, I wish you could see what I see,” Tyler says against my lips. “You’re fucking delicious. Your body is a work of art.”

“Look who’s talking,” I reply, taking his bottom lip between my teeth and nipping lightly. He groans for me, and my cock twitches.

Ty’s hand roams over my hip, raising goosebumps in its wake, then shifts to trace over my inner thigh. His fingers ghost over my balls, and I suck in a sharp breath, and when he finally wraps his hand around my dick, I whimper.

“Fuck,” I moan.

It feels like I’ve waited a lifetime for this right here.

“That’s right, Noah,” Ty whispers. “I want to fuck. I can fuck you, or you can fuck me. Whatever you want, I’ll do it.”

He lines up his dick with mine and grabs us both with one hand, jacking our lengths together. “Fuck, Ty. Spit on your hand.”

He does as I say, then grabs us both again and jacks our lengths off together. The pace is unhurried as if we have all the time in the world, and my hips lift as I thrust into his hand. He smirks at me, knowing I’m getting desperate, and I bite my lip.

“Please, Ty,” I whisper.

“Please, what?” he whispers back, pressing his forehead against mine. “What are you asking for?”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I just need—more.”

“Oh, you want more?” Ty smirks yet again, and it makes me want to fuck him into the bed. “Beg for it.”

“W-what?” I sputter.

“Beg for it, Noah baby.”

His hand speeds up, and with the wetness of his spit, it feels fucking incredible. His thumb goes over my slit, gathering my pre-cum, and it feels like I’m about to come. My eyes roll to the back of my head, and he lets go of us.

“Ah-ah-ah,” he tuts. “You’re being a very bad boy right now. I told you to beg.”

“Please,” I beg. “Tyler, please let me suck your cock.”

Tyler’s eyes widen, but he nods. “Good boy.”

My body tingles at the praise, and I get between his legs, shoving them apart roughly. It’s been a long fucking time since I’ve sucked his cock, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it. We both know this means more than a simple blowjob. I’m showing him how much I love him. How much I want and need him.

I dip my head and lick his balls, shoving his legs up into his chest, then go down even lower. My tongue trails down to his taint, and then without warning, it swirls around his rim. He tenses, his back arching off the bed, and he moans long and loud.

“You like that?” I whisper, licking his hole again, spearing my tongue inside of him. He mutters a curse, and I pull away. “God, I fucking missed this.”

Tyler grabs his cock, tugging on it roughly, and groans. His eyes are open as he looks down at me, and I begin to rut against the bed, feeling like I’m going crazy.

Fuck.

“Oh, fuck, that’s it.” He moans, making eye contact with me. But I just stop and go back to his cock, licking the head and taking it between my lips. I give him a deep suck and take him to the back of my throat, gagging violently. “You look so fucking good down there with my cock in your mouth, Noah.”

I moan, bobbing my head up and down, hollowing my cheeks for him. I take him to the back of my throat over and over, testing myself, then swallow around his cock. His hands fly to my hair as my nose meets the trimmed hair on his pelvis, and I swallow around him again, then hold myself there.

“Oh, goddamn it.” He groans, his fingers tightening on the hair at the top of my head. “You like that, baby? My cock in your mouth?”

“Mhmmmm,” I moan, and his balls tighten.

“Do that again.” He moans again, and I hold myself there with his cock down my throat. “Ah, shit, baby. Swallow me, please.”

I swallow around him, and his eyes roll to the back of his head. My toes curl, and his dick thickens in my mouth. I know he’s?—

“I’m close,” he groans. “So close.”

I begin to play with his balls, squeezing them, kneading them, and I take him to the back of my throat again.

“ Yes , Noah,” he growls.

I double my efforts.

“Baby,” he moans. “I’m gonna fucking come.”

I moan once more.

“Here it comes,” he tells me, and I squeeze his balls again. “Don’t swallow. I want my cum as lube.”

I pull back slightly as he begins to come in my mouth and groan as if I’m eating my favorite meal. And it’s true. I’ve never tasted anything better. His legs shake, his back arches off the bed, and my vision swims with white dots as his hand tightens around my hair. I swear I’m about to black the fuck out from the need to come right fucking now.

I slide his cock out of my mouth and spread him open for me, getting an unobstructed view of his hole. The one place I really want to explore. The only place he hasn’t let me in before.

“Baby,” Ty whispers as I kneel between his legs and shove them up to his chest. “W-what are you doing?”

I spit the cum on his hole, watching it drip, and catching it with my fingers. He gasps, and I smirk. “I’m finally taking this hole, Tyler.”

“Oh, God,” he moans as I rub my fingers against his rim. “ Finally .”

And I get it.

I’ve been waiting for this moment for the last ten years.