21. Tristan
“Remindme again why selling everything I own and moving to a cabin by a lake isn’t a good idea?” I flopped down on the couch next to Quinn dramatically.
“Because you’d get bored after three days, and Leo would never get out of the water, so he’d be permanently pruney. Also, mosquitos.”
“Right. That.” I sighed.
“Rough day?”
I nodded.
Quinn patted his lap. “Come here and tell me all about it.”
Shifting in my seat, I lay down and put my head on his thigh.
“There you go.” He stroked his hand through my hair. “Better?”
“Yeah.” I nuzzled into his leg.
“Was Simon a dick during pickup?” he asked softly.
“Yes and no, I mean, he’s always a dick. But this isn’t just about him.”
He kept quiet and gently ran his nails through the short part of my hair, right behind my ear. Little shivers and tingles exploded on my scalp and deep in my body.
“That feels good,” I murmured, wanting to enjoy the attention for a few moments before I had to go back to thinking about my shitty day.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.”
“No, I do. And I should.” I sighed. “I finally heard back from that clinic I interviewed with last week.”
“I’m guessing it wasn’t good news?” Quinn asked.
“Nope. They raved about my experience and made a huge deal about what an asset I’d be to the clinic.”
“That doesn’t sound terrible.”
“It wasn’t. Not until they told me my starting salary.”
“I thought you’d already gone over that in the interview?”
“We did. But apparently the number we discussed was the top end of the salary range, and they neglected to tell me that.”
“But it was already less than what you make now. Less than someone with half your experience would get.”
“Yup. So imagine my surprise when they said the actual number was fifty thousand less.”
“What? That’s an actual insult, considering everything you’re bringing to the table.”
“They tried to jazz it up by saying I could potentially make up the fifty K after I’d shown my loyalty and proved I was a team player, but they were cagey when I asked about timelines or raise schedules. They just kept going on about how they were a tight-knit family and how everyone worked together to make it a great environment, even if the pay wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“Any company that says they’re a family is a giant red flag. Those are the ones who’ll exploit the fuck out of you and gaslight you into thinking they wouldn’t replace you before your body went cold if you dropped dead.” He snort-laughed.
“This is the least funny thing ever, but I worked at a small grocery store when I was in high school. They did that ‘we’re a family’ thing to us too, but only when they wanted us to work off the clock or cover shifts on short notice. One of the older guys who’d worked there since the store opened, so we’re talking over twenty years, didn’t show up one day. Bill never called in sick and was never late. We were worried about him, but our managers said they called and he didn’t answer, so they assumed he’d blown off work. He didn’t show up again the next day, and no one said a word beyond telling us he’d been fired for skipping two shifts in a row without an explanation. Three days later, they put a sign up in the break room with the info for his funeral. He’d died in his sleep, and those fuckers fired him instead of calling for a wellness check or calling his next of kin so they could check in on him. Then they didn’t even tell us he’d passed and just stuck the notice up like it was no big deal. Twenty-some years with the company, and they didn’t even send flowers and wouldn’t give anyone time off to attend his service.”
“That’s horrible.”
“I’ll never forget it. But yeah, that clinic sounds like my old grocery store. Giant red flags all the way.”
“That was the vibe I got too.” I closed my eyes as he resumed stroking my hair. “It’s just really disheartening. I’ve put out dozens of resumes and got one interview, and I wouldn’t even have bothered if they’d been honest about the salary. It was a giant waste of time, and I’m right back where I was.”
“Has management made any headway with replacing Eric?”
“Nope. They finally hired a temp to replace Amber while she’s out on sick leave and for her maternity leave, but we’re still a person short.”
“Have you thought about opening your own clinic?”
“Only every day from age fifteen to twenty-five.” I laughed. “But then I realized I’m a scientist and not a businessman.”
“What if you and Stephanie and Amber all went in on a clinic together? You said Stephanie has a business degree, and she’s been talking about opening a clinic for years. And I might be remembering wrong, but didn’t Amber say her husband is an accountant and she’d love to work at a family clinic like her dad used to run on their farm? I could be reaching, but they sound like the perfect people to go into business with.”
A mess of thoughts, mostly of all the reasons I couldn’t risk leaving my job to open a clinic with my colleagues, hit all at once. Slowly, I sat up.
“Babe?” Quinn bit his lip. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I was just trying to give you an alternative, but?—”
I held up my hand to stop him. “No, you’re not wrong. And I didn’t think of that, didn’t even consider it…”
“Tris?”
“Sorry. Zoned out there for a second.” I smiled, or at least tried to. “Half of me is screaming that this is the best idea ever, but the other half is yelling about all the reasons it could never work.”
“What are some of the things your brain is saying won’t work?”
“All the practical stuff. We’d need a space, a very specific type of space with specialized equipment. We’d also need loans and licenses and brand partnerships for the startup.”
“Well, let’s break down the feasibility of all those things. The space will be hard to find, but my stepdad is a Realtor. If he can’t find what you’re looking for, he’ll know someone who can. And when it comes to customizing a space, my dad and I are both contractors, so that’s easy peasy. And I know Pops and my dad would be as pissed off as me if you offered to pay us, so that helps with the loans and the startup costs if you only have to worry about the materials and the crew’s wages.”
“They’d do that for me?”
I knew a lot of professionals, and not one of them would offer their services to a friend for free. At a discount, maybe, but not for free.
“Of course.” He grinned. “As long as you’re with me, you’re family, and that’s what we do for family. I don’t know the specifics of a vet clinic, but I’ve set up multiple businesses. I can help navigate that stuff. And I have an amazing business accountant I can talk to and see if she’s looking for new corporate clients. Plus, you know a ton of lawyers who can help with the legal side of things. And those are just your connections. I imagine Stephanie and Amber will have their own, so you’ll probably have options.”
“The more you talk, the more this sounds like a viable option.”
“I mean, I’m just thinking out loud here, but it could be. Running a business is stressful as hell and comes with its own issues, but at least you’ll be in control of your life and your schedule. And all the work you put into it will benefit you and your business partners, not some assholes in suits who only care about their profit margins.”
“I’ll have to think on it a bit more, break it down, but this might be the answer we’ve been looking for,” I mused, my mind still spinning. “I’ll have to talk to Stephanie and Amber, of course, but maybe it’s time to finally take control of my life and my career. To create the future I want instead of trying to find ways to make my current circumstances less shitty. Something like this would take time to set up, but it really could be a viable option.”
“You never know until you look into it.” Smiling, he laced our fingers together and loosely held my hand. “You’ve done so much to reclaim your life in the past few years. If this is something you want, then I’ll do whatever I can to help make it a reality.”
A lump formed in my throat. It didn’t matter if we were talking about opening a vet clinic or deciding if we wanted to accept an invitation from the people I once considered friends; Quinn’s support was unconditional and unfailing, two things I’d always wished I could have in my life.
He believed in me, but more than that, he helped me believe in myself. He reminded me that I wasn’t always like this. That once upon a time, I’d had dreams and ambitions and the confidence to go after what I wanted.
“Babe?”
“Sorry.” I blinked. “Zoned out again.”
“It’s a lot to think about.” He rubbed his thumb over my knuckles.
“It is. But I’ve spent way too many hours thinking about work today. I need a brain break.”
“A brain break.” He grinned.
“Yup. And I’ve already built one into our date night.”
“You have?” He tilted his head and gave me a scrutinizing look. “Is this why you refused to give me any details about what we’re doing tonight?”
“Maybe.”
“What’s the dress code?”
“Casual.”
“Like board shorts and slides casual, or jeans and sneakers casual?”
“Definitely jeans and sneakers casual. Sensible footwear is a must.”
“Sensible footwear is a must?” His curiosity melted into a look of suspicion. “You’re having way too much fun with this.”
Leaning in, I pecked a kiss against his lips. “How was work?”
He smirked. “No changing the subject. What time is our date? And where? The only thing you’ve given me to work with is ‘sensible footwear is a must,’ which doesn’t exactly narrow it down.”
I lifted his hand to check the time on his watch. “We have to leave in an hour.”
“And?” he prompted.
“And we have an hour until we have to leave.”
He narrowed his eyes in a mock glare. “That’s all you’re giving me?”
“Yup.”
“You’re annoyingly adorable when you’re being cheeky.” He smiled affectionately. “Fine. I’ll let you have this one. Do you want me to take the dogs for a walk before we go?”
“Yeah, if you want. Are you feeling restless?”
“A bit. We’re starting that new job on Monday, and I still have a bunch of stuff I need to do this weekend to finalize everything. I’ll get it done, I’m not worried about that, but having it hanging over my head is making me antsy.”
“How about we head to my place? I’ll feed everyone, then you can take the boys on a walk while I take a shower and get ready?”
“Sounds good.” He pecked another kiss against my lips. “Let’s go get your crew fed before I tackle you on the couch and use sexual favors to pry the details of our date out of you.”
“How do you know that wasn’t my plan this whole time?” I stood, hauling him up with me. “As much as I wish that was true, we’ve got a reservation to make.”
“That was the most amazing thing ever,” I declared for the dozenth time as Quinn pushed his front door open.
“It was.” He waited for me to go in first, then closed the door behind us. “I still can’t believe we broke their record. And they told us we’d never finish with only two people.”
I’d taken him to an escape room for our date. I’d always wanted to do one, but never had anyone to go with. We’d not only escaped, we’d smashed the room’s record by twelve minutes.
“I believe it. We’re amazing.” I blew him a kiss, still riding the high from our date. “And they had no idea who they were dealing with. A scientist and a science nerd with ADHD. Of course we were unstoppable.”
Quinn leaned against the door, a soft smile on his lips.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing. I just like seeing you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Amped up and celebrating our win. And I must have a competence kink because watching you destroy those clues was so hot I spent most of the time making sure I kept my dick angled away from the security cams so they wouldn’t see the giant bulge I was sporting.”
“You weren’t exactly slacking yourself.” I stepped toward him and caged him against the door. “You were cool as a cucumber when that countdown was going off.”
“Cool as a cucumber?” He smirked and loosely gripped my hips. “Is that anything like being the bee’s knees?”
“That’s a different idiom. Although I’d say both apply to you.” Pressing my chest against his, I leaned in and kissed his throat.
“Tris?”
“Yeah?” I kissed right over his pulse point.
“Can you top tonight?”
My mind did something akin to a record scratch.
“You want me to?” I shook off my shock and pulled back so I could look into his eyes.
He nodded, his expression an odd mix of confident and shy with a little apprehension mixed in.
“Yeah. Of course. If you want me to.”
He nodded, swallowing hard.
“Are you nervous?”
He tightened his grip on my hips, something I couldn’t quite read flashing in his eyes. “Not exactly.”
I let him gather his thoughts so he could explain what he meant.
“I’m not scared or nervous, not really. But I’m worried.”
“About what?” I prompted gently when he paused again.
“That I won’t be able to relax. I like when you use your fingers, but the thought of taking anything bigger is freaking me out a bit. I tried when I was solo, and it didn’t matter what I did, it hurt.”
“We don’t have to, not if you’re not ready.”
“I’m ready.” He let his head fall back against the wooden door, frustration creasing his forehead. “I want this, but my stupid brain keeps telling me I’m going to ruin everything because it won’t let me relax.”
“Quinn—”
“I see how much you enjoy it, and I want to experience that too. I want to know how it feels to have you inside me, but I don’t?—”
“Quinn,” I repeated more firmly to break him free from his spiral.
He slid his gaze to mine.
“Do you want this?” I asked softly.
He nodded.
“Do you trust me to take care of you?”
He nodded again.
“You know we can stop at any time. Or try something different if it doesn’t work for you.”
“This shouldn’t be so difficult.” He looked away. “I don’t understand why I have this mental block and why I’m struggling so much. I trust you. I love you. If there’s anyone I should be able to relax with, it’s you.”
A slight buzz filled my ears, and my vision went snowy for a second.
He loved me?
Quinn’s eyes went comically round. “Oh shit.”
“Is this one of those moments where we forget you just said that?” I asked, my voice catching.
Slowly, he shook his head. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, but I can’t pretend I didn’t say it. And I don’t think you can pretend you didn’t hear it.”
“It’s true?” I whispered.
“Yeah.” His voice cracked on the word, but he didn’t break eye contact with me. “It’s true. I’ve been in love with you for a while. I just didn’t know how to say it. Or if I should.”
“I’m glad you did, because I love you too.” My voice was barely above a whisper, but I forced the words out. He deserved to hear them, and I wanted to tell him.
“You do?” He drew in a shaky breath, looking more vulnerable than I’d ever seen him.
“Yes. I love you,” I said, louder this time to make sure he knew I meant it.
He closed his eyes and pulled in another deep breath. I leaned my forehead against his, giving him space to sort out his thoughts.
“I know we said we were going to keep things low-key,” he said softly, his warm breath fanning over my cheek. “But I think we can agree things have never been low-key between us,”
“No, we left low-key in the rearview mirror a long time ago,” I agreed.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a tight hug. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Closing my eyes, I breathed him in.
Quinn was the most incredible man I’d ever known. Yes, he was gorgeous, but the things I loved about him had nothing to do with his looks.
I loved his big heart and his kind nature. I loved his sense of humor and the way he constantly challenged me. I loved learning from him and how he wanted to learn from me too. I loved his unconditional support and how he always found ways to show me how much he cared.
He was my partner in the truest sense of the word.
He was the person I always wanted to find but had given up searching for. He was everything, and he was mine.
“Well.” He laughed, breaking the spell we’d fallen under. I pulled away so I could look at his face and see where his head was. “Accidentally blurting out that I love you is one way to completely derail a conversation.”
“Too bad you can only use that once,” I teased.
He huffed out a laugh. “Right? I should have saved that for when I needed an escape.”
“I’m glad you said it. I’m not sure I would have been able to say it first.”
“Because of…”
“No, not because of anything to do with…you know who.” It wasn’t the most mature way to reference Simon, but I didn’t want his ghost to taint the moment. He had nothing to do with my feelings for Quinn. “More because I couldn’t admit it to myself. I knew I felt it, but I convinced myself I didn’t.”
His forehead knitted in confusion.
“I told myself I was falling for you. That I could love you if I let myself get there, even though I was already there.”
“You know what kept me from saying it sooner?” he asked.
“What?”
“I was scared I was wrong. I was terrified I’d ruin our friendship because I was seeing things that weren’t there, feeling things I didn’t understand. I doubted myself, even though I knew with every fiber of my being that I was in love with you.”
“Are you still afraid that you’re wrong?”
He smiled, some of his usual smirk back. “No.”
“Good.”
“So, circling back to what we were talking about before my accidental declaration.” He pushed his hips out, letting me feel his half-hard dick. “I still want you to top tonight.”
“Are you still feeling apprehensive?” Running my fingers down his arms, I gently took his hands in mine.
“Not as bad as before, but yeah.”
“I have an idea.” Stepping back, I tugged him away from the door.
“What’s that?”
“Do you have any toys?”
He did a little shuffle step, like he was catching himself before tripping. “Toys?”
I nodded.
“A few. What kind?”
“Do you have a plug?”
“A plug?” he croaked. “Ahem.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, a plug?” he asked in a normal voice. “No.”
“I have a new one at home.”
“You do?”
“I do. We don’t have to use it, but it might help.”
His cheekbones flamed pink. “Yeah, we can give it a try. I need to…take care of some stuff first.” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why I’m using euphemisms. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“I do.” I leaned in and dropped a kiss against his lips. “How about you go get ready, and I’ll run next door and grab it.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you in my room when… You know what? I’m going to stop talking and just go do what I need to do.” He pecked a kiss against my lips.
Before I could answer, he ducked away and did a little sashay, his hips swinging provocatively as he headed toward his room. He tossed a wink over his shoulder. “Hurry back.”
I traced my gaze over his full ass and his thick thighs. “You’re killing me.”
“You’re not leaving,” he sing-songed over his shoulder.
“Not with that view.”
His laughter filled the foyer as he disappeared into his great room.
With my dick aching and my balls already heavy, I hurried out of his house. If he was going to trust me to top him, then I was going to do everything in my power to make sure I made it as good for him as possible.