Chapter 31
31
Katy/Katherine
I walked in, noting the giant bed that could sleep more than a few people. It almost rivaled the bed in their bedroom, and we fit four comfortably on it. I climbed onto the bed and patted the spot beside me. “Come join me.”
Once he was beside me, I held up my punch to my mouth. “Bottoms up.”
I tipped it down my throat, swallowing it in one go. When I noticed he still had some in his glass, I snagged it from his hand, drinking the last half mouthful. Peter’s voice spoke in my head, reminding me to drink some water. I wanted to ignore it, to deny he had any hold on me, but I didn’t want to hurt tomorrow like what happened last year. So I opened the bottle and drank about a third of it, hoping to dilute some of the alcohol before it hit my bloodstream. “Now, what did you want to do?
“I want to kiss you. Really kiss you. We’ve danced around it, giving each other half kisses because people were around. Now we’re alone. And I’ve been dying to taste you.”
His words did something to me. I should have been put off, should have reminded him that our relationship was fake, for show, but I knew we’d gone far past that stage. It might not be real, but it was hardly fake. So, I pulled up my big girl panties and did what I seem to do best… I faked my confidence. “So, kiss me then.”
There was no hesitation on his part. He didn’t need to think, to weigh the odds. No, he just dove right in, taking me down onto the bed as his mouth landed on mine with a hidden finesse. Funny how we’d never talked about exes or experience. I’d assumed he’d been like me from the things he said, but I’d been wrong. So, very, very wrong.
He slipped his tongue between my lips, stroking mine, letting me know that he knew what he was doing. From brushing across my teeth to twirling around my tongue, he owned me, bending me to his will. And as he kissed me, He covered me with his body, weighing me down. I’d been in this position before with Jason, but he’d held himself up off me, driving me nuts by teasing his chest over my erect nipples. But this was different. This was all of him pressed up against me and by all of him, I meant. All. Of. Him. I could feel the muscles in his legs and his hard dick hanging between. It was big, not that I had anything to really compare it to, but it felt large against my stomach.
Tired of not knowing what to do, I grabbed his shoulders. It gave me something to hold onto when he began to grind his hips, letting his dick slide over my clit. I remembered how it felt when Jason did that. He’d given me an orgasm. And if my suspicions were correct, he’d been so turned on that he’d finished in his pants just from rubbing against me. If that felt that good, I could only imagine how good sex would feel.
“Katy. Fuck. I promised myself I wouldn’t push you, but I want to feel you. I want to feel your skin against mine.”
“Please…” I started to say a name, but I stopped myself. I was too lost in the sensation, too lost in my memories as I tried to compare all my different times, to separate fact from fiction, reality from memory.
He helped me to lift off my shirt and then my bra before he lay me back on the bed as he sat, straddling my hips. “You’re gorgeous.”
I ignored his comment, not wanting to make this personal. “Let me see you.”
He placed one hand behind his head and pulled it up, bringing his shirt with him. My gaze traced the movement, noting each ridge of his cut muscles. To my surprise, once his shirt was over his head, I saw a tattoo over his heart. Under the feel of my fingers, he shivered as I traced it. “What’s that of?”
“It’s for my nan. It’s her sign. This way she’s always with me even though she’s no longer here.”
“That’s so sweet,” I said mechanically. Touching his tattoo reminded me of the times I’d traced Jason’s asking him to tell me the stories behind each of them. How one of them was to honour my father who told him to never hide who he was. Was that what I was doing? Was I hiding myself?
Lost in thought, I gasped when Ethan sucked my nipple in his mouth. The sensation pulled me from my memories of tattoos but got me lost in other ones as I remembered how Jason had wrapped his tongue round my nipple, tracing it until he drove me insane or when Jarrod first did that. How hot his mouth had felt and then how cold my nipple was after he blew on the wet skin.
“Yes. More,” I begged as I started to wiggle my hips, needing some sort of friction down there.
He slid down my body, pealing my pants and underwear off me as he moved. Exposed I lay there, lost in thought, in the phantom sensations of previous touches. When he lifted my foot to slide it out of my pants, I thought of how Jason had kissed me there. How he started there and slowly moved up my leg before starting all over with the next one until he reached my centre. Then he’d pressed his mouth to me, licking me, tasting me, driving me higher and higher until I exploded.
The sound of plastic ripping broke through the haze. Ethan stood over me. Naked. He stroked his dick with one hand while his other was near his mouth as he opened a condom packet. I reached towards him, brushing my hand against his tip. A smear of liquid followed the path I’d taken. “Let me.”
He shuffled closer so I could reach and watched me through a hooded gaze as I wrapped my hand around him. In girth he was smaller than Jason, allowing my thumb and middle finger to touch. It wasn’t much of a touch, but it was much closer than the gap I’d had with Jason. I used the move he showed me, dragging my hand up and down his shaft, giving my hand the occasional twist.
“Fuck, that feels good. Where did you learn to do that?”
I ignored his question, not wanting to bring them verbally into this time because they were already with me, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When his hips started to speed up, pumping his dick faster through my hand, I bit my lip. Was he going to get off like this? Was this all he was wanting? Was he going to leave me hanging like I’d done with them? Was it possible for me to go find someone to finish me off like they did, when they received pleasure from each other later, after their time with me? Or was I going to have to take care of myself? It was that last thought that scared me. I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t want to do that. Not here. Not when I didn’t trust all the people around. So, I did the only thing I good, I asked for what I wanted. “Fuck me, please, J…”
I turned the J sound into a moan, trying to hide it. Ethan stopped his moving, making me worried that he’d realized what I’d almost done, but then he was moving my hand away as he rolled on the condom. Prayers of thanksgiving and rejoicing left my heart as he dropped back to the bed and crawled between my legs.
“Are you wet?”
I nodded, sure that I was since I’d always been with Jason and Jarrod. He held his upper body over me, allowing us to look between our bodies to watch as he lined himself up with my opening.
Then he pushed in.
Fuck.
He was bigger than the finger Jason used. And that one he hadn’t inserted very far. Ethan pulled out and then rammed in. A sharp pain had me gasping for breath as tears stung my eyes. I batted my eyelashes furiously to keep the tears from falling. I wasn’t going to let him know that this was my first time. Not when he never even asked.
He stilled briefly, allowing me to catch my breath, and then he started to move again. In. Out. A little swirl. I climbed, but it wasn’t like the other times. I had nothing to compare it to, nothing to help me along. Then I remembered how Jason had used his tongue on my clit while his finger was in me. And Jarrod had used his fingers there to help me to come.
Not caring what he thought, because I needed to release the tension inside me, I slid my hand down my body until I reached that spot. And then I rubbed it, trying to remember the rhythm Jason and Jarrod had used. One of them had to work.
“Fuck that’s hot. Do that. Show me how you touch yourself.” Jason and Jarrod talked to me. Even Peter did and we’d only kissed. But when they talked, it seemed to make things better. But not with Ethan. Hearing his words turned me off. To keep up I had to restart, re-envision my memories.
“Katy. Fuck. I’m gonna come. Are you close? I don’t know how long I can hold out. You feel that good.”
Almost glad this was coming to an end, I lied, telling him I was almost there. And when he stiffened over top of me, letting me know he was coming, I moaned out loudly and tried to use my muscles to squeeze him.
He pulled out and rolled to my side. “We’ve got to do that again.”
I nodded and watched as he carefully pulled off the condom. Then he climbed from the bed. “Stay there, sweetie. I brought us a damp cloth to clean up with.