LULU
I was so scared for Noah, and each time I arrived at the hospital, no one would tell me anything. I wasn’t his next of kin, or family of any sort. We hadn’t even fully gone public with our relationship so I hadn’t even been able to play the girlfriend card. I basically knew no more than the local news anchors who kept rehashing the story almost every thirty minute news clip. My children had seen it, and Zachary was beside himself. Noah was his all-time favorite player, and the very thought of him never taking the field had upset him greatly.
The one thing any good mother hated was to see her children hurting for any reason. I had to hold it together in front of my son, even though I was terrified myself. As scared as I was for him, I was even more so for myself. That could have so easily been me. Had I not gotten caught up with the florists, I would have picked my own car up and ended up shot instead. I had escaped death, but at what cost?
“I wish someone would tell me something,” I mumbled under my breath as I sat in the corner of the waiting room alone.
Visiting hours would be beginning shortly, and I hoped I could sweet talk one of the nurses into letting me see him today. Due to the nature of his injuries and how they happened, the police had a revolving door in his ICU room. I had even gone as far as trying to find out something from them, but it was no use. I wasn’t anyone important to Noah in their eyes. I might not be, but...
I looked over at Gabriel as he paced back and forth. The Titan had warmed up to me ever since I had started working with his fiancée on their wedding. He was not only a respected pillar of the community, but he also had the power to get almost anything he wanted.
Would he wield it for me so I could see Noah?
I bit nervously on my bottom lip. I hated to even ask, but the worry inside of me kept growing. I had only managed to see him once, but the two of us barely got a few words out before I was noticed, and made to leave the room.
Gabriel finally ended his call, then looked in my direction. Walking to me, he placed one hand on my shoulder. “Noah would have me by the balls if he knew I was letting you sit here pining over him. He?—”
“H-how is he?” I didn’t care at this moment how mad he would get at me. We would cross that bridge when we got to it.
“He’s going to live?—”
“So he’s going to be fine?” I asked, and I knew there was a slight hint of relief in my voice.
“Physically, yes, but mentally, not so much.”
“What do you mean?”
“His playing career is over, Lulu.” I gasped at that, and even more guilt filled me. “Are they sure? Maybe once the swelling or whatever goes down?—”
“They did everything they could for him.”
“He can get a second opinion, yes?”
I was unwilling to even fathom him having lost his career, and sense of purpose, and all because of me. When Gabriel squeezed my shoulder and shook his head, the tears I had been trying to hold in started to spill from my eyes. Noah would hate me. Hell, he would blame me, and he had every reason to. Maybe the doctors and nurses not letting me into his room had not been strictly a coincidence.
“I went through something similar before,” Gabriel told me, before he took a seat next to me. “Back when I was seventeen, I was in an accident.”
I could recall the news headlines at the time. We normally kept up with all things ‘Titan’ related, and the nearly tragic accident of one of the next generation of them made the news headlines for a while. “I think I remember that.”
“I had been in a bad place, drinking a lot and all, and I decided to test my luck that fateful night. Everything happened in a blur, and the next thing I knew, I was like Noah lying in a hospital bed being told the one thing I loved above all else was being taken away from me. I was told my playing career was over, and I had wished my life was in that moment, too.”
“I’m so sorry,” I murmured.
“He’s only ever known football. I’m not sure how much you know about his upbringing, or even his family name, but the Capshaws haven’t always been a respectable one in the community. Noah has spent his entire life trying to wash away the stain his parents put upon it, and without the one thing he has always loved and known, there’s no telling where his mind will go.”
I tried to remember back to what his friend said about his family name. Noah didn’t talk too much about himself or his family, only that everyone he loved was dead. He had also mentioned once to me, and a few times to various sports media, that his grandparents had raised him most of his life. I wanted to know more about him in that moment, but pumping his friend for information wasn’t appropriate. Filing that stuff away for later, I turned back to Gabriel.
“I feel so guilty. If he hadn’t been doing me a favor, then?—”
“It’s not your fault, and I’m sure Noah doesn’t blame you at all for any of this.”
“How can you be so sure?” If the shoes were reversed, I couldn’t say that I would feel the same. Well, maybe I wouldn’t blame him ultimately, but the thought would have crossed my mind for a nanosecond.
“Because I know Noah. He’s not that type of man. He would take a bullet for anyone, and that includes you. In fact, I’ve never seen him care about a woman the way he cares about you. He loves you, Lulu.”
“And I love him,” I quickly assured Gabriel. “We’re the unlikeliest pair, but I love him all the same.”
Gabriel then stood up. “He’s going to need you. Let me talk to the nurse and see if I can get you some alone time with him.”
“Y-you would do that for me?” It was what I had hoped, but to have him offer without me even having to plead dumbfounded me.
“He will want to see you, Lulu. Just give me a few minutes.”
I nodded, then watched as he left the waiting room. I sat there fidgeting as the seconds ticked by. If anyone could work a miracle, it would be Gabriel Blake. I kept telling myself that as the seconds turned to minutes, then several more passed without so much as even a sighting of the man. I stood up and started to pace. Even that did very little to calm my nerves. I then remembered what he had just told me about Noah, and I pulled out my cell phone. After typing ‘Clint Capshaw’ into the search field, I hit the button and waited for the results to populate.
It wasn’t long before millions of results were returned. A lot were stories about Noah and his shooting, but after scrolling past all of those, I started to see articles about a car crash. He had mentioned his father dying in an accident, but that couldn’t have been what Gabriel had been referring to. I kept looking, and finally started to see the various scandals the man had been involved in. There were articles about suspected money laundering and possible RICO violations, but the ones that seemed to be tried were those regarding tax evasion. The year that all happened would have put Noah at around six or seven years old. I was still staring at my screen as even more sadness filled me, this time for a child who had to deal with all of it. The articles made it sound like he was involved in some elaborate crime ring, or even possibly organized crime. Noah might not have known what it was then, but I was sure that he figured it out as he grew older.
The one thing I feared the most with my own children was them coming across Cade’s lies in a few years, then deciding for themselves that he was right. I wouldn’t be able to stand knowing that my kids hated me, or that they lost all respect for me. Noah probably then took it upon himself to clear his family name of all sordidness, and he had been successful. I’d never known Noah to be looked upon negatively in any circles, and I just hoped that his being in my car wouldn’t change that.
Yes, we had been photographed a few times, but there had been no formal announcement. As far as my children, and anyone else knew, the two of us were friends. It was so much more, and as my mind recreated a slideshow of our relationship together, I knew no one else would understand what we had, if they even believed it to begin with. After all, I had been branded with a scarlet letter by my ex-husband and his lies, and would now be forever tied with Noah, and likely blamed for the whole thing.
Gabriel had assured me that no one blamed me, but I couldn’t convince myself to do the same. Maybe my being here at the hospital wasn’t such a good idea after all. I grabbed my purse and decided to just leave, but as I went to exit the waiting room, I saw Gabriel Blake. He waved me over to the nurse’s station, and I reluctantly forced myself to abandon my earlier plan. When I reached them, he smiled at me.
“Julia’s going to let you in to see him for a few minutes.”
I looked at the young girl, then him. “I can’t thank you both enough for this.”
“No thanks are necessary. Despite all of this, you make Noah very happy, and I think it will do him some good to see you.”
I just hoped he was right. “Shall we go see your friend?” The woman asked me, and I nodded.
I mouthed another thanks to Gabriel then followed the blonde down the hallway. When outside of his room, I took a deep breath and plastered on a smile. I had to hold it all together once I got inside, but that was easier said than done when I stepped into the room and saw the various machines he was hooked up to. His shoulder was heavily bandaged, and I could just imagine how much worse it looked beneath the sheet.
Don’t cry, Lulu. Don’t fucking cry .
My orders for myself grew harder to follow as I moved in closer. Noah was sleeping, and peacefully at that. I almost hated to even be there now for fear of waking him. The nurse checked a few of his vitals before flashing me a smile. She mouthed that she would be back in a few minutes, so I sat down and stared at the man I loved.
I hadn’t been given much information other than a car had followed him into the parking garage, and shot at him before exiting. No one had shared any details with me as far as who was behind the wheel of that car, or even what the make and model of it were.
Had this been some case of road rage? Or had I been a target? No one would have any reason to harm me, unless...
I started to shake my head. The only one I’d had any issues recently with had been Cade, but even those had waned in the past few weeks. Initially, he had taken badly to having to pay alimony to me, and later my budding relationship with Noah. After the incident in my bedroom which I hadn’t breathed a word to anyone about, including the man lying in this hospital bed, Cade had been more accepting of our divorce. Relationships were hard enough and I understood that the finality of some could bring out harsh feelings, but the man who gifted me my children was no killer.
Realizing that being here might only harm Noah more, I stood up and walked toward the door. I had just reached it when I heard my name, and it caused me to turn around. “Lulu.”