33
I’m hiding.
In my bedroom.
I haven’t gone to work. I asked for leave for a few days, and I’m waiting. I’m biding my time, not knowing how exactly I would go about this.
Not only am I ignoring Helia, but I left that same morning, silently, without telling him. He has been calling, he’s been messaging, and I’ve only replied with one-word answers.
I’ve been giving him the cold shoulder. It hurt to put myself out there in front of him, to reveal such a crucial part of me, to show my weakness, and yet he betrayed me?
When was he going to tell me?
Doesn’t he realise that what he did has weighed heavy on me?
I keep refreshing my email, waiting for the hackers to get back to me.
Time is ticking. I need to know if the stalker in the pictures is actually Helia.
Why was my stalker there the day I saw Remo leave our house? The day my father was murdered?
“Ambrose! Get out of that room now!”
A bang startles me. I glance at the wooden door, dread settling deep within me.
“How much longer will it take you to get ready for this ring appointment?”
My mother had picked the very next day for me to grab the groom’s ring. She didn’t wait. Not for a single second to ask me, to give me time. No. She wants this done fast to get rid of me, to secure herself.
I used to feel bad for Mum, for what she has been through, but now… now I see that while she may have had depressive episodes, she has bounced right back to her normal self and has not for one second shown any remorse, love, or affection to either of her daughters.
“Coming!” I rush out, leaving my laptop, then we head to the jewellers in Knightsbridge.
“How about this one?” Mum points to a simple band with diamonds encrusted all around it.
“It is a very good choice, ma’am. It’s one-of-a-kind and very unique.”
I glance around the private room, feeling caged.
Trapped.
Everything is slipping out of my grip.
And I am sitting here being controlled by one of my parents. Again.
I decided I was going to change, didn’t I? I was moving in the right direction, but now I am right back to square one.
The dim lighting of the private room weighs heavy on my eyes, the murmurs of the sales assistant and my mother bounce off the shiny walls. The small hum of the air conditioner ringing in my ears doesn’t help either. It’s making me feel dizzy.
I blink, trying to rid the fuzziness from my brain, but it doesn’t work.
“Mum,” I whisper, shaking my head, but she doesn’t listen.
I slept with my stalker.
Helia.
He didn’t tell me.
My marriage is being arranged without my consent.
“What size do you think he may be, Ambrose?”
This isn’t right.
“Do you think he will suit this?”
“Where is your mind these days?”
“Don’t worry about her. She didn’t get a good sleep last night. You can package this one for us.”
My ears start to ring.
I want to scream. I want to cry. I want nothing to do with anything.
I don’t want the company.
I don’t want the money. The clothes.
Nothing.
Please.
I just want peace. Silence.
Please.
“Excuse me.” My throat scratches. I get up from the sofa and walk out of the room and out of the shop.
I take the driver with me and go right home, into my bedroom once more.
What do I do?
Another wave of dizziness hits me.
That’s when it hits me that I didn’t eat all day yesterday, nor today, and it’s already four in the afternoon. As I am about to turn to go to the living room, a loud thud makes my ears perk up.
He’s here.
I spin around and find my stalker—or, rather, Helia—standing in my room.
He wears combat boots, black cargo pants, and a black hoodie, and stands tall and unmoving in the middle of my balcony as the curtains flare aggressively.
My words climb up my throat and so does my scream, but I shut it down.
He takes a long step inside, moving the curtains out of his way, then another step, and my heart rate spikes.
“Seems like someone missed me.” He tilts his head. The faint sunset behind him casts him in shadow and makes him look all the more threatening.
“It’s you,” I breathe out, my hands starting to shake at my sides.
A huff of a laugh leaves him when he looks all around my tidy room.
Nothing is out of place. Thankfully, my laptop is shut. So he can’t see what I was working on.
I don’t want him to know about it until he tells me the truth.
“Yes, me, little sin.” He takes another step towards me, and fear scratches at my throat like nails on a chalkboard.
“No,” I whisper, willing for courage to fill me. “It’s Emerald, isn’t it?”
He stops in his tracks.
This time, I take the step towards him.
“Isn’t it?” I repeat.
His jaw tics.
A laugh trickles out of me. A mocking laugh.
“Had fun playing with me… Helia?”
I take hold of his hood and throw it off.
There he stands.
“You—”
He doesn’t move, doesn’t has the intention to.
His, it’s so fucking haunting. He doesn’t look like a CEO or a friend of Remo. He looks like a killer. His eyes hold this empty, yet psychotic look in them, and I realise I never even knew Helia. This man in front of me isn’t him.
He’s not Helia. This isn’t who I thought Helia was.
“You not only tormented me in my workplace, not only took everything from me, but you did that when I was in my own home too, in the security of my bedroom,” I chant it all with a gasp. “You took, took, and took and still you weren’t satisfied?”
He shakes his head, his hair falling into his eyes. “No, Ambrose—”
“You lost the right to call me that the moment you decided to use two faces to haunt me! You made me believe the Madden sisters sent you. You made me believe someone wanted my death. You made me believe I should just wish for death. You want know what’s ironic? I have finally given up. I don’t care anymore.” I sigh.
“What?” His brows crinkle. “No, you are supposed to always fight, Ambrose. You can hit me, punch me, throw insults, and I will take it, but please don’t give up on yourself.” His voice sounds so pained, so broken, that it almost makes me feel bad for him.
“So what? So you could get my company and go on with your life? Be free of the problem you have?” I push him, I shove him, and he lets me.
Angry tears burn my eyes.
“Was seducing me and making me fall into your trap part of this whole big plan of yours? Was it? To bring me to my knees? You wanted me to bend to your will, and you accomplished that.” I sob.
“How fucking dare you!” I scream, slapping him across the face with such force his head whips to the side. “I trusted you. I told you about my deepest secrets, but you are going to use that against me. I made a mistake with you,” I whisper, my own heartbreak dripping into my voice.
“No, I would never do that. You own me, Emerald,” Helia whispers. “You are all I think about. You have bewitched me the moment I saw you. The moment Remo asked me to look after you so you didn’t get your company back. And I did. I hated you at first, but not anymore. There is no hate for you left in me. You’ve ruined me.”
I shake my head. He uses his words wisely. He knows his way around words.
He’s lying.
“If we had never met, it would have saved us all this mess.” I grit out.
“Once upon a time, I loved looking into your eyes, now? All I find is deception.” I whisper.
How do I hold myself back when I had loved someone for the first time in my life and he did this to me?
“You don’t believe me, but trust me—”
“Trust you?” I gasp in disbelief.
“Baby, please.” He grabs my hands.
I try to shake his hold off, but he doesn’t let me. He pulls me to him, making me crash against his chest, then leans down, letting his forehead rest against mine. I shut my eyes.
Tears. Tears and more tears.
“I’m tired,” I find myself whispering. “I’m tired of everything,”
“I know, baby.” He runs a big, soothing hand down my cheek, wiping away my traitorous tears. “I will ruin everyone who’s brought tears to your eyes.”
I open my eyes and look up at him. At the deep depths of his green eyes.
“What if it was you?” My voice travels across the silence in the room, and the wind outside howls as if it’s screaming my pain.
“Then I will take any punishment you give me.”
I reel back.
“Then I want you gone. I want you to leave me alone. I don’t want to look at your face.”
“That, I won’t do. That’s one thing I can’t grant.” He looks around my room, then grabs my wrist and pulls me towards the bed.
“What are you doing? Let go.” I try to shake my wrist out of his hold.
He lifts me and places me on the bed, then takes his shoes off and gets under the covers with me, his front to my back. I go to turn around, but he doesn’t let me.
“Stay still, Ambrose.”
“What do you think you are doing?”
He places his head into the crook of my neck, wrapping an arm around my waist and the other under my head.
“Sleep, rest. Ambrose. You need it. I’ll be gone by the time you wake up.”
“I said I don’t want to lay with you.”
He places a hand on my mouth, shutting me up.
Silence.
Helia’s steady breathing sweeps softly across my ear. My heart doesn’t feel like it’s intact anymore.
People like me don’t get happy endings.
People like Helia don’t love.
The moonlight spills into my room. The curtains have stopped flaring, and are softly humming to the tune of the wind outside. There is silence.
I can feel Helia’s racing heart.
The warmth from his hand on my stomach burns my skin. It settles on the small gap between my sports bra and my leggings. The soft rhythm of his breathing slowly lulls me to sleep, all fight leaving me.
“Who made you lose your fight, Ambrose?” Helia’s voice is the softest it has ever been.
“Why would I tell you?” I mumble.
His hand leaves my mouth and I sigh.
“Who hurt you, Ambrose? Who made you hate your body?” His voice is the same tone, same softness, but I know he feels anything but calm.
“The Madden sisters.” Why hide it when I know tomorrow holds nothing but loss and failure?
I swallow, the memories so haunting that I find myself grabbing Helia’s arm on my stomach.
He will get this from me, but tomorrow, that will all be gone.
I will resign. I will fight this case myself, and I will throw him out of my life.
Helia listens to it all until I finish describing everything that happened to me. I tell him about how mistreated I was, how Dad then forced me to steel myself to anyone who belittled me, humiliating them.
Helia doesn’t respond at all, but I keep speaking, wanting to get this burden off my chest.
Once I am done, I still, my eyes drooping.
“I’m proud of you for being so strong all this time, for giving back to the people you hurt,” he says.
That’s also a lie. I know it.
And I fall into slumber.
It’s been a cold world for me.
And I feel warmth seep into my heart for the first time.
Even if I know this won’t last.
He will be gone.
He won’t ever be mine, nor me his.
This isn’t a love story.
Helia created such a dark deception for me, and I fell for it. Now, we both are heading towards the wreckage that will rip us apart.