32
“What truth?” Helia asks.
I step away from his embrace. I can’t confess my secret, knowing I will feel his body pulling from mine after this.
I would rather do it myself to save the hurt.
My eyes fall on the open-plan kitchen to my right with a counter in front of it.
I can’t look at him while I say this.
“You need to know something about me, Helia.”
I swallow, the words crumpling like a piece of paper inside of me.
“Aurora had a stalker, and it was going on for three years until four months before her wedding, she was kidnapped. She…” I blink at the ceiling, trying not to remember or think of the images in my mind.
“Everyone, including her, thought it was me who gave her location to the stalker because Dad so strategically told her that I was the one who dropped her location after asking her where she was.”
Biting my lip to stop the tears isn’t working, so I clench my hands at my sides, my nails digging into my skin.
“I did ask her where she was that day. I asked her because she was supposed to be at the dinner at our house that night, and she didn’t show up on time. She was exiting her apartment building at the time.”
That’s when I look at Helia and see him patiently looking at me.
Waiting.
But what startles me is the deep, ominous look in his eyes. He looks like he knows what I am about to say, though he won’t be able to guess it.
“Track records show that. Testimonies by everyone show that. Everything points to me.” I suck in a shaky breath, catching Helia look to the side. “Would you believe it was me, if you were to see those records?”
Helia looks back at me, his jaw ticking.
And I know the minute the look in his eyes changes.
An empty laugh trickles out of me, another tear dripping down my cheek.
Helia’s eyes track its movement down my face.
“It was my father who leaked her location. He didn’t want us in his life. He wanted a child-free life, to climb to the top. Having us, having daughters, was a big expense for someone who wanted to run up the ladder in society, to fit in the Elites, to be living lavishly. We set him back.”
My fingers grasp at the edge of my black zipped-up jumper, and my knees weaken.
“I ran from one station to another, one private investigator to another, using my own savings to find her location, to find where she was, because she was and is the first and only important person in my life.” I swallow thickly.
Energy starts to leave my body, but I continue.
“Aurora is my sister, the one person I tried to protect from our father.” My voice trembles. “I was severely bullied in school. I wear long sleeves, long jeans, black tights, covering every part of my skin. I cover it, so Aurora could wear dresses.”
Helia’s eyebrows twist into a frown.
“I have put myself forward in our father’s eyes so she could stay in the dark and live her life. I have dealt with losing myself so she could build her own life. I have hidden my scars, my struggles, my fears, and my dreams so she could live her own, Helia.” I flash a shaky smile at him.
“I know I have ruined people’s lives for the sake of our father, for his approval, and I accept my mistakes. I accept that I made bad decisions, too. I was too far gone, but I would never hurt Aurora or anyone so severely that they can’t sleep at night. I have given back and tried begging for forgiveness.”
My lower lip trembles, and Helia reaches out with his hand but drops it.
Something about that makes my heart clench painfully.
“I was the one who was ecstatic when we found a signal to her phone, and I sent special forces to pick her up. I was there feeding her, sitting outside her door all night long in case she couldn’t sleep, knowing she hated the sight of me for leaving her alone in school, for letting her be alone in this life. But I tried to shield her as best as I could.” My heads drops forward in shame.
“I tried as much as a sixteen-year-old could, but it wasn’t enough. With a father and mother like ours, it’s not possible to do much.” My hand covers my eyes as tears fall out.
Lifting my head, I watch him through teary eyes.
“Ambrose,” Helia starts, but I shake my head.
Unzipping my jumper, I drop it to the floor, leaving me in only my black bra.
Helia’s eyes fall on my arms, my stomach, and they harden.
Taking off my leggings, I let them drop to the floor, my underwear the only thing left on me.
His eyes drop to my legs, and his jaw clenches just as his knuckles turn white.
Red ugly marks that are barely healed, faint scars that failed to heal properly cover my body.
“I didn’t bother getting laser removal. What answer would I give if rumours of these were to leak?”
A chill passes through the house, and I shiver, but I stand still as Helia’s unwavering eyes trace my body. They go over each scar, assessing each one carefully.
Then he speaks. “I will kill every single person who has put their hands on you.”
“No, you won’t. This ends here, Helia. Me and you. Whatever this was. Whatever this is, it should stop. Not only will it destroy you; it will destroy me, too. It will leave us in the ashes of who we are, of what we want. I wish I could say I hate you, but I don’t. Not anymore—”
“Stop saying that!” Helia bursts out.
His hands settle on my cheeks.
“I believe you. I’ll believe you forever. I’ll fucking kill every single person who has hurt you, who has left a mark on your body.” His eyes drop lower to my body, where every single part feels ugly.
He starts breathing faster, as if trying to control his emotions.
I have never cried in front of anyone before, yet here I am, falling into a deep hole no one can save me from.
I’m falling into the abyss.
The abyss that is Helia.
Hands grab the back of my neck and pull me into an embrace. Helia’s face settles in the crook of my neck, his hold tight and secure. My own hands go around him, burying my face into his chest, and I choke back a sob.
“Stop pushing me away. Stop trying to make me leave, because that won’t happen. You have a hook in me, Ambrose. You keep reeling me back to you, every single time.” His muffled voice makes my heart quiver in need. “Tell me, just once, that you want me, that you feel as deeply for me.”
Instead of answering, I lift my head and grab hold of his chin, pulling him lower until his lips mould to mine.
Helia’s kiss turns desperate and harsh within seconds. He picks me up, my legs wrapping around his waist as he walks, then I am placed onto a cold counter with only underwear and a bra on. The cold makes goosebumps rise on my skin.
Pulling away, Helia runs his hand on my thighs, over the burn and cut marks, his eyes watching where his hands glide.
Then he raises his head and instantly melts.
“Every part of you is beautiful, Ambrose, even ones that you keep tucked away, even ones that you want to burn so no one sees your weakness, even the part that weeps for love.”
A small smile touches my lips. Helia’s eyes drop to it, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
“Let me help you. Let me quieten the monsters in your head and those venomous voices.”
Placing me on the floor, Helia grabs my hand and walks into the hallway. We pass the staircase on the right, past the two doors on my left, and walk into an open space.
A gasp leaves past my lips.
“A pool room?”
Letting go of my hand, Helia removes his hoodie, throwing it onto the black marble floor.
The front and right walls are all glass. A deep forest is the only thing I can see, though it’s nighttime, so I can’t see much.
The pool is a sea green colour, and clear ripples flow in the water. It covers the entire room, with five chairs placed on my right in front of the pool. A ladder goes down into the water just to the left of it.
“This… Do you swim often?” I turn towards Helia, only for me to choke.
He’s standing only in black boxers. His ripped abs are on full display. Tattoos are scattered all over his chest. The muscles in his legs and strong thighs make my mouth water. He runs a hand through his hair, and the tendons in his biceps flex, making me blink. A tattoo of a serpent goes around his forearm. Lightning circles around the other arm, with small stars near his wrist. Another spider is detailed on his shoulder blade. He looks like a powerhouse, all muscles, who could very much break your neck off if he were to punch you.
He walks over to me, where I am still standing with my mouth hanging open, with a smirk on his wicked face.
“Close your mouth, Ambrose.” He nudges my chin with his bent finger, making me snap it shut.
I narrow my eyes on him. “Something funny?”
Helia’s laugh echoes around the pool room, his eyes squinting ever so slightly as he throws his head back, the veins in his neck popping.
“No, nothing is funny.” He shakes his head with a smile.
A mischievous glint shines in his eyes, then the next second, I am being thrown into the pool. My scream echoes around the room.
“Helia!”
We both drop into the water with a massive splash. When I open my eyes underwater, I swim away from him, catching him watching me with a big smile on his face as we both swim to the surface.
He runs a hand through his hair, mimicking me.
“You are so dead,” I lunge towards him, wanting to push him underwater, but he disappears. When I turn around, Helia is there, his arms around my waist as he lifts me and throws me back into the water.
My screams follow.
I shake out of his hold and try again.
And I get pushed under the water.
And again.
And again.
Until I am a laughing mess.
Our loud laughs fill the room, my spirit feeling lighter, my heart wanting to burst out of me. Happiness feels like an achievable emotion to me when I look at Helia. He didn’t walk away from me; he accepted me.
It’s all I ever wanted.
I stay in the pool against the edge of it, taking a breather when I spot Helia swim closer to me. He stops right in front of me. His eyes filled with intent. Fiery intent. And suddenly the water feels too warm. The room feels too hot.
My ears ring as he cages me in with his arms on the back of the pool.
“Are you happy, Ambrose?”
I nod wordlessly. Apparently, words aren’t even a thing to me.
“Words. I want to hear it.” His hand holds my waist, the gesture feeling more than nice, more than friends, just more.
“Yes,” I breathlessly whisper.
My eyes can’t stray from his.
“Good. Now let me appreciate you.” He places a kiss on my shoulder, eliciting a shudder from me.
“Let me show you that I am the endgame for you. It’s me where everything stops, and it’s me where your search for happiness ends.” A kiss to my chest, down the valley of my breasts.
Helia grabs me by my hips before lifting me out of the water and setting me on the edge, my legs still in the pool. He looks up at me desperately, his eyes heated and his touch wandering all over my body.
He pulls my knees apart and pushes at my stomach, making me lie down. I comply.
Helia pulls my underwear down my legs and throws it somewhere, but all I can see is the ceiling.
“Fuck.” That guttural word makes my insides quiver.
“You look so mouth-watering, I am practically salivating for you, Emerald.”
Curiosity gets the better of me, so I get on my elbows and look down at him.
He is looking in between my legs, at my pussy, like he wants to devour it whole.
His eyes snap to me.
“No one else is allowed to touch you, or even think about tasting you, other than me, or I swear to God, Ambrose, there will be bodies all over this city.” Somehow, his threat doesn’t feel unrealistic. With this dangerous glint in his eyes and the carnal desire he approaches me with every time, it doesn’t feel normal. It feels devilish, raw, and dark.
There is always this animalistic look to Helia, like he will destroy everything with no care for anyone in his path.
And he has that possessive look on his face right now as his breath fans my pussy.
His lips finally descend on me, and a loud moan releases from my lips.
He moves away, and I see him rise out of the water.
Water cascades down his model-like body. Those broad shoulders cast a shadow above me, the veins in his arms popping out from the force he uses to pull his body up. Black hair falls on his forehead, droplets dripping from it onto his face.
Fuck me.
That’s mine.
Helia is and will be mine.
He stands above me like a monster, grabbing me by my waist and throwing me over his shoulder.
“Helia! Where are you taking me?”
He doesn’t answer, just continues walking up the stairs.
I can’t see anything properly from being upside down, but then I am thrown onto something warm, soft, and bouncy.
Shaking my head to rid the dizziness, I realise I am in his room, but I don’t look for long before I am turned around, my ass up.
“On all fours,” Helia commands.
“You can’t order me around li—”
He grabs my waist and pulls me up, forcing me onto all fours.
My bra is taken off.
“You could have done it nice—”
“Do you want it nicely, Ambrose?” A hand wraps around my throat. “You want me to press kisses all over your body and give you sweet praises?” Another hand sneaks out to grasp my breasts, roughly grabbing and pulling and pinching my nipples till they feel tender to touch, and I hiss at the pleasurable pain.
“Or do you want it hard and fast? Do you want to be fucked and owned? You want control taken from you?”
I open my mouth, then shut it.
“Speak, or I will leave this very second.”
I glare at him over my shoulder. After all that teasing, he will leave? Just like that?
“What is it going to be?” He raises a brow, his naked muscled body behind me.
“I want you to fuck me, Helia.”
A smirk appears on his face. Helia wraps his hand around my hair, once, twice, then pulls, making my head snap back and my back arch. His hand goes around me till it dips into my pussy, and I gasp, my body jerking in hot pleasure before it’s gone.
“Good girl,” he murmurs in my ear; like me being wet for him was all it took for him to be pleased with me.
Then he pushes into me.
We both groan the minute he does.
I feel stretched. Full.
Complete.
A minute later, Helia fucks me. He goes hard and fast, just like he promised, and he fucks like a goddamn monster. Just like I imagined. He dominates me, hitting a deep sweet spot inside me. My pleasure soars high until soon I am collapsing, coming hard.
My screams and his name echoing all around the room.
“Helia!”
“Fuck, baby,” he grits out, continuing to rut me until he finds his own release.
But he doesn’t stop after that. He flips me around, his mouth latching onto a breast, and he starts fucking me again. My body is limp, but he rips another orgasm from me.
And again, as he places me on his table, fucking me against it.
Instead of burn marks and cuts, all I see are hickeys left all over my body.
Like love letters written to me from him. Each one imprinted on me.
I am lying limply, out of energy, as Helia settles in his tub behind me.
He starts to clean me up, washing me as my head rests back against his chest.
“You know, I’ve never let anyone take care of me like this before,” I murmur, moving my hand through the water, watching it ripple.
“Really?” he murmurs, his chin on my shoulder as he raises my other arm and runs a loofah over it.
My voice turns quiet. “Yes, it was always me, and only me. My parents were too busy, and I didn’t have a friend to look after me on my bad days.” I’m not ashamed, but it’s weird admitting something so personal to him.
“Do you have friends now?”
There is a moment of silence from me.
Then I shake my head.
“Have you always looked after yourself when you were sick?”
I nod, my eyes trained on the water in front of me as Helia moves the loofah to my back.
“Is that why you do yoga after a long day?”
I freeze in the tub.
My blood runs cold, as does the water.
No one knows that.
I’ve done it with my doors closed.
I’ve never—
“Yes.” My voice is scratchy and small.
The full force of betrayal hits me deep in the heart.
“Do you enjoy baking things?” Helia’s questions continue, simple questions that don’t take time to think.
Right now, everything has been lit by flames.
No.
It can’t be.
I won’t believe it.
But what good will denial do?
Helia is …my stalker?
He’s watched me for months.
Terrified me to the point I wanted my own death?
He’s the one who has sent me letters?
Killed men who were after my hand in marriage?
Helia killed? With his own hands?
He did all this?
What else did he do?
Suddenly, the man who I was going to consider my lover doesn’t feel like it anymore.
And it feels like I just broke through the water, realising it was all an illusion.
“Do you know that I feel what others call love for you?” Helia murmurs against my neck.
My mouth doesn’t want to open to answer.
It can’t.
I’m stuck. Paralyzed.
I slept with a cold-blooded serial killer.
With my own stalker.
And I’ve fallen in love with him, too.